Piece of Pie
Debutant
Collingwood midfielder Dane Swan was arrested last night after the Geelong v Collingwood game at the MCG. Multiple charges have been laid. A brief statement from the Victorian police mentioned that Swan was taken into questioning over multiple accounts that include; tearing up Geelong’s midfield, constantly being in two places at once and putting cats in a bag and throwing them off a very high bridge.
In fact it has been know for quite some time that the star magpie had done this before and is in fact a repeat offender. Reports have gone around saying Dane Swan is doing this every weekend for the past 4 months and is out of control. The damage toll is enormous and the dream team points are raking up like never before!
A key witness to the carnage last night said “There wasn’t much to like about it at all really.” “We’re not pleased with what happened but at the same time we’re not panicking.” - Mark Thompson
It is unlikely that Swan will remain in custody before his trial in September. Police have stated that for everyone’s sake they will keep a tight tag on him, but are not confident they can; “we will try to keep an eye on Mr Swan but have found it extremely difficult. We had him locked up in a small cell tonight but still managed to lose him. You blink and he’s gone”.
Police are also on the lookout for several accomplices; H. Shaw, L. Ball, S. Pendlebury, D. Thomas, D. Jolly, H. O'Brien. If you know where they are know of others please call crime stoppers. A major concern is the involvement of a few kids in the bedlam. It appears that a handful have now got mixed up in Swans carnage and are now considered just as dangerous. If you have seen these Collingwood footballers it is best just to stay inside and keep your distance; D. Beams, S. Wellingham, S. Sidebottom, C. Dawes.
Interestingly, there’s also a related ongoing investigation over a shadowy figure (almost supernatural) know only to us as “Dids”. There have been many eyewitnesses who say they don’t see a man, just a black & white blur across the ground. Testimonies over the year say the ball moves on its own will across the ground and through the goals! Some say it’s a man, others say it’s a ghost, some say it’s the hand of God. Nobody really knows and the police refuse to comment on the matter.
In fact it has been know for quite some time that the star magpie had done this before and is in fact a repeat offender. Reports have gone around saying Dane Swan is doing this every weekend for the past 4 months and is out of control. The damage toll is enormous and the dream team points are raking up like never before!
A key witness to the carnage last night said “There wasn’t much to like about it at all really.” “We’re not pleased with what happened but at the same time we’re not panicking.” - Mark Thompson
It is unlikely that Swan will remain in custody before his trial in September. Police have stated that for everyone’s sake they will keep a tight tag on him, but are not confident they can; “we will try to keep an eye on Mr Swan but have found it extremely difficult. We had him locked up in a small cell tonight but still managed to lose him. You blink and he’s gone”.
Police are also on the lookout for several accomplices; H. Shaw, L. Ball, S. Pendlebury, D. Thomas, D. Jolly, H. O'Brien. If you know where they are know of others please call crime stoppers. A major concern is the involvement of a few kids in the bedlam. It appears that a handful have now got mixed up in Swans carnage and are now considered just as dangerous. If you have seen these Collingwood footballers it is best just to stay inside and keep your distance; D. Beams, S. Wellingham, S. Sidebottom, C. Dawes.
Interestingly, there’s also a related ongoing investigation over a shadowy figure (almost supernatural) know only to us as “Dids”. There have been many eyewitnesses who say they don’t see a man, just a black & white blur across the ground. Testimonies over the year say the ball moves on its own will across the ground and through the goals! Some say it’s a man, others say it’s a ghost, some say it’s the hand of God. Nobody really knows and the police refuse to comment on the matter.
Don't do that again!
