Swans drinking game

[grimlock]

Try the following drinking game the next time you watch a Swans game on TV.

Take one drink if:
- A wide angle shot is used as evidence of the Swans's flooding tactics, even though all teams do it.
- LRT is referred to as a former rugby player.
- A replay is being shown (most likely of the bench) while live play continues in the background.
- The Swans claw back a deficit, the commentators use this as evidence that the Swans never give up.
- The Swans are acclaimed as a great tackling side, just because they train in Sydney, and by osmosis must be picking up the aura of the rugby league teams.
- If you hear any of the following phrases associated with the Swans: "playing man-to-man", "masters of tempo football", "king of the hitouts/stoppages"
- Mattner overhits the kick-in to the man in the back pocket
- Richards backing into a pack, kamikaze-style.
- Goodes bursts free from a pack.
- Buchanan stuffs up a kick at goal.
- LRT looks like he has no idea what to do with the ball. An extra drink if he manages to dispose of it efficiently.
- 3 Swans defenders all go up for the ball, leaving the opposition crumbers to easily goal.
- Hall gets molested by defenders but doesn't get a free kick. An extra drink if he gets penalised for holding or some other silly infringement instead.


Take two drinks if:
- An uneducated commentator confuses two similar looking players (e.g. Jack and O'Keefe)
- The Swans are labelled as old and slow.
- The umpire gifts a goal to the opposition.
- Shaw takes 3 or more bounces in a row.
- McVeigh kicks a goal from a boundary throw-in or ball up in the attacking 50.
- The opposition forward marks on the goal line after a shot on goal falls short.
- The Swans concede one or more goals in the last 2 minutes of the quarter
- The Swans try to carry the ball out of defence by handball alone. An extra drink if a goal results from it.


Skoll a tinnie if:
- An uneducated commentator confuses two totally different looking players (e.g. Bevan and Jolly)
- The kick-in taker does something other than kick to the pocket, or kick to himself.
- Robert Walls suggests Barry Hall needs a run in the ruck or on the ball.

Feel free to add your own!

 

[RUNVS]

- LRT looks like he has no idea what to do with the ball. An extra drink if he manages to dispose of it efficiently.

This one allone would get almost anyone extremely drunk. LRT never seems to know what he is doing (deer in the headlights) but somehow he almost always manages to dispose of the ball effectively.

 

[bedford]

Try the following drinking game the next time you watch a Swans game on TV.

Take one drink if:
- A wide angle shot is used as evidence of the Swans's flooding tactics, even though all teams do it.
- LRT is referred to as a former rugby player.
- A replay is being shown (most likely of the bench) while live play continues in the background.
- The Swans claw back a deficit, the commentators use this as evidence that the Swans never give up.
- The Swans are acclaimed as a great tackling side, just because they train in Sydney, and by osmosis must be picking up the aura of the rugby league teams.
- If you hear any of the following phrases associated with the Swans: "playing man-to-man", "masters of tempo football", "king of the hitouts/stoppages"
- Mattner overhits the kick-in to the man in the back pocket
- Richards backing into a pack, kamikaze-style.
- Goodes bursts free from a pack.
- Buchanan stuffs up a kick at goal.
- LRT looks like he has no idea what to do with the ball. An extra drink if he manages to dispose of it efficiently.
- 3 Swans defenders all go up for the ball, leaving the opposition crumbers to easily goal.
- Hall gets molested by defenders but doesn't get a free kick. An extra drink if he gets penalised for holding or some other silly infringement instead.


Take two drinks if:
- An uneducated commentator confuses two similar looking players (e.g. Jack and O'Keefe)
- The Swans are labelled as old and slow.
- The umpire gifts a goal to the opposition.
- Shaw takes 3 or more bounces in a row.
- McVeigh kicks a goal from a boundary throw-in or ball up in the attacking 50.
- The opposition forward marks on the goal line after a shot on goal falls short.
- The Swans concede one or more goals in the last 2 minutes of the quarter
- The Swans try to carry the ball out of defence by handball alone. An extra drink if a goal results from it.


Skoll a tinnie if:
- An uneducated commentator confuses two totally different looking players (e.g. Bevan and Jolly)
- The kick-in taker does something other than kick to the pocket, or kick to himself.
- Robert Walls suggests Barry Hall needs a run in the ruck or on the ball.

Feel free to add your own!

I would be too pissed to add to that

 

[kira]

one drink if:
- kirk is referred to as inspirational, or well or highly respected
- hall is referred to as angry or frustrated
- we receive a foul for holding on to the man
- a mark outside 50, is not immediately played on
- hall is the target I50
- either playfair or moore miss an easy set shot at goal

two drinks if:
- white and jolly are involved in an interchange infringement (sadly this doesn't count at skull a tinnie level anymore)

keep drinking if:
- there's an obnoxious fan, and you need a little harden the **** up liquer to start a fight
- or if we lose

 

[Skystyler]

- Mattner overhits the kick-in to the man in the back pocket

or Shaw, or the Eski. An extra skoll if he hits the opposition on the chest.

- 3 Swans defenders all go up for the ball, leaving the opposition crumbers to easily goal.

- an extra skoll if they injure each other.

- Hall gets molested by defenders but doesn't get a free kick. An extra drink if he gets penalised for holding or some other silly infringement instead.

- a third if he then gives away a 50, and/or gets dragged.

- Shaw takes 3 or more bounces in a row.

- an extra if all 3 bounces are within 10m.

- a throw in our defensive 50 results in a scrambled kick that goes straight through the unguarded goal.
- Jolly taps it down the throat of one of players in space who kicks an easy goal.

 

[Corpuscles]

Shake hot tinnie, puncture and skoll

When "special"comments man THE OX answers Bwruce's rhetorical "questions"

eg

B: "That's cleeeever!!! ....ISN'T it"
O: " Yes, pretty smart , Bwruce!"

Ring triple 000 order ambulance and drink non stop if

If ever any Swan... is described as.... "delicious!"

 

[RUNVS]

Ring triple 000 order ambulance and drink non stop if

If ever any Swan... is described as.... "delicious!"

Your not going to be happy when Soph gets a commentating position with channel 10

 

[Swans120]

Wish i could try this myself with my mates, pity barely any of them like AFL. Might try and adapt this to a league or rugby scenario, would be tough to do though. Would love to give this a go though!

 

[BruceFromBalnarring]

I reckon if I skulled every time I thought "Geez you're a ****in idiot, Walls" I'd be pretty well stuffed. His positive is bullshit and his negative is bullshit.

 

[grimlock]

I reckon if I skulled every time I thought "Geez you're a ****in idiot, Walls" I'd be pretty well stuffed. His positive is bullshit and his negative is bullshit.

Perhaps Bruce, for your good self, you can have a drink when Walls makes a insightful or worthwhile comment

 

[BruceFromBalnarring]

Perhaps Bruce, for your good self, you can have a drink when Walls makes a insightful or worthwhile comment

Oh great, Grim, then I don't get to play at all!!! Thanks heaps.

 

[Dangas]

If commentator Tim Lane calls Kieren Jack "Brett Meredith" again I will be 'sinkin piss at a mates joint and getten para'!!!!!!

 

[set shots]

a stubby for everytime they chip backwards - you'd struggle to get through to half time.

 

[RW]

Great thread!!

Mine would probably be a drink for each time Walls gets excited about Darren Jolly (he loves his ruckmen )

- Big gulp whenever Hall remonstrates with teammates after an ignored lead. Extra sips for each teammate that goes up to him afterwards to calm him down.

- Have a sip each time the ump blows his whistle for a ball-up and either Kirk or Ablett is at the bottom of the pack. Finish the glass if an opposition player sits on top of Ablett and he gets pinged for holding the ball.

 

[Bonz]

I don't think I would last one quarter....And my whole family is Irish.....(maybe thats the reason i have a bad shoulder)

I was getting very very angry at the tv every single time someone F***** called Wirripunda Wirripanda..... Then I found out he changed his name...

Another drink everytime Buchanon drops a mark...

Or the commentators jinx a kick at goal.

Drink a complete 6 pack anytime Roo's whistles (favourite coaching moment ever)

 

[grimlock]

LOL, just watching the replay of the 3rd quarter tonight.

STOP drinking when Tim Lane starts quoting Tennyson.

 

[Dangas]

I don't think I would last one quarter....And my whole family is Irish.....(maybe thats the reason i have a bad shoulder)

I was getting very very angry at the tv every single time someone F***** called Wirripunda Wirripanda..... Then I found out he changed his name...

Another drink everytime Buchanon drops a mark...

Or the commentators jinx a kick at goal.

Drink a complete 6 pack anytime Roo's whistles (favourite coaching moment ever)

Or when he eats a bag of lollies, SO F**KING CALM, never seen a coach like him

 

[vonn]

Id die of alcohol poisoning

 

[db swannie]

One drink every time Dennis Commetti answers Brooooce's sychophantic rhetorical questions with a sarcastic response.

Another drink for each time Broooooce tries to crawl further up Dennis's arse after said sarcastic response.

It's important to keep alcohol and humour closely linked.

 

[Wagamama]

LOL, just watching the replay of the 3rd quarter tonight.

STOP drinking when Tim Lane starts quoting Tennyson.

No no no! Turn off TV get totally plastered!

One skoll for everytime Jarrod McVeigh is called Mark McVeigh

 

[Dubai Quacker]

Funny to look back on this & contemplate what necessitates taking a drink 13 years later.

My thoughts …. take a drink every time:

- the Swans give up a goal in the last 30 seconds of a quarter

- Bruce announces that “you just feel like…”

- Buddy drops a chest mark

- [PLAYERCARD]Ben Reid[/PLAYERCARD] mysteriously appears on the field in a Swans guernesy

- Lloyd botches a 30 metre kick-in

- Erik Golden has a possession

- Daisy Pearce declares that the losing team needs to score more

- [PLAYERCARD]Callum Mills[/PLAYERCARD] is presented with a previously unheard of post-game medal, whilst both teams glance longingly towards the change rooms

- Stevic misses a blatant free kick to a Swans forward

- Stevic awards a non-existent free kick to an opposition forward

- BT gushes over the McCartin brothers’ love of playing footy together

- “These young Swans….”

- A Bigfooty poster complains about the music between goals (make it a double shot if the complaint is about Sweet Caroline)

- A commentator declares that “The Swans won’t mind these stoppages” (despite being consistently belted in clearances)

 

[Slingshot Footy]

Funny to look back on this & contemplate what necessitates taking a drink 13 years later.

- A commentator declares that “The Swans won’t mind these stoppages” (despite being consistently belted in clearances)

This one made me snarf my OJ.

 

[Crust]

A drink each time the Academy is mentioned.

 

[RUNVS]

- A commentator declares that “The Swans won’t mind these stoppages” (despite being consistently belted in clearances)

and then the commentator pointing out how good the opposition must have been this week for beating Sydney in the clearances, despite it happening most weeks.

Clearances are the new rain. Forever commentators used to say how rain benefitted us even though we lost most games in the rain.

 

[Millky95]

and then the commentator pointing out how good the opposition must have been this week for beating Sydney in the clearances, despite it happening most weeks.

Clearances are the new rain. Forever commentators used to say how rain benefitted us even though we lost most games in the rain.

At least we used to be good in clearance

Yes it was 10 years ago but we were never good in the rain