Porepunkah?
Some awesome tracks up that way
I’ve often walked the Ovens River casting lures chasing rainbow trout
Bit of horse riding too
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Society & Culture The BigFooty Guide to getting the non-gender specific person of Your Desire (Part 8)
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Porepunkah?
Some awesome tracks up that way
I’ve often walked the Ovens River casting lures chasing rainbow trout
Bit of horse riding too
I usually slip out the back of Bright to Wandiligong
Family called the Nightingales own chestnut And apple orchards plus a few cottages now
Wandi pub always has chestnuts warming near the fireplace in winter
Always a nice end after a days wandering and fishing
Get over to Kiewa and Mt Beauty at all?
He will sleep with you?
peternorth
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Once you go black
Shell
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I don't know Jennifer, I could show you a magazine where literally...
Shell
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COULD YOU?
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Well I don't have it on me, but next time you're in...
royboy2
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Good Luck with the
After today i promise I shall calm down on all the frustration talk.
appointment
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I am wondering what is the key to unlocking self-negativity and feelings of inadequacy in respect to romance?
A few years ago doing uni break volunteer work I struck up a very strong connection with a girl (which I was completely oblivious too for an embarrassingly long time until she was very blunt about being interested). This seems a fairly positive thing, but the issue was she was in a very prestigious university course and very well to do family (trips to Europe and all that), and is probably going to end up being the Prime Minister or something one day, and I really felt entirely beneath all of that. She was really quite angry about all that but stayed friends somehow, she is now with a similarly successful person and I feel like I am a contender for Costanza’s crown as King of the Idiots about it now.
But what is the solution for this? I very recently got up the guts to ask someone I have been friends with for ages out, and thankfully got the very pride protecting “it’s not you, it’s me” response, and I must admit I did have some feelings of “It’s because I’m not rich isn’t it!”. Fortunately I stamped this out as the ego preservation mechanism it is, but I am wondering how to avoid this tendency towards inadequacy/self-loathing lest I become even more bitter and twisted than your average longterm bigfooty user and it translate to the negativity towards women which seems the natural endpoint for such thought patterns,
A few years ago doing uni break volunteer work I struck up a very strong connection with a girl (which I was completely oblivious too for an embarrassingly long time until she was very blunt about being interested). This seems a fairly positive thing, but the issue was she was in a very prestigious university course and very well to do family (trips to Europe and all that), and is probably going to end up being the Prime Minister or something one day, and I really felt entirely beneath all of that. She was really quite angry about all that but stayed friends somehow, she is now with a similarly successful person and I feel like I am a contender for Costanza’s crown as King of the Idiots about it now.
But what is the solution for this? I very recently got up the guts to ask someone I have been friends with for ages out, and thankfully got the very pride protecting “it’s not you, it’s me” response, and I must admit I did have some feelings of “It’s because I’m not rich isn’t it!”. Fortunately I stamped this out as the ego preservation mechanism it is, but I am wondering how to avoid this tendency towards inadequacy/self-loathing lest I become even more bitter and twisted than your average longterm bigfooty user and it translate to the negativity towards women which seems the natural endpoint for such thought patterns,
- Jun 21, 2008
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More or less its a confidence in who you are and being happy with your lot in life on your side - and then to believe to yourself that if they actually think that about people then you'd be better off without them anyway.
I completely understand but from a bit of a different viewpoint. You have low self esteem and don’t believe you bring as much to the table as other people. The first girl obviously knew there were financial differences but overlooked them. Yes you could have gone for it but didn’t, she is admirable for staying friends with you and now is partnered up. Try not to look back too much, if you were meant to be together you would be. The second one I have no idea about but try to focus more on what you can bring to the table and not what you can’t.
My low self esteem meant I picked people who weren’t particularly interested, so you can see how that panned out. Since I’ve been single, a long time I have been interested in 4 men who werent interested back. I’m now on dating sites to see who else is out there. The answer lies in you.
It's hard when you have low self esteem but if you attracted her interest then there is something interesting and valuable within you, even if you don't know what it is yourself. love takes courage and that means stepping into the unknown fully aware that you might get your heart broken, but you might also experience something brilliant.
physical attraction, trust, friendship are the ingredients for a relationship. prestigious uni's and trips to europe don't really factor into the equation.
Shell
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I can relate mate, hundred per cent. Just know there's others out there (including women) with huge insecurities and fear too. It just takes time perhaps to let all that crap go, until you find someone thats your match.
All the best.
This
I feel most at ease when I stop caring what others are thinking of me, and just be someone that I'm proud of- and that confidence will show and often the confidence is what girls notice- rather than your looks or your bank balance.
Shell
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There is nothing sexier in a guy than confidence. And a nice smile.
Couldnt give a s**t about bank balance (or car)- looks tho, there has to be some chemistry there. so looks do count; from both sides.
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Anyone who says looks aren't important are in need of a dose of reality.
Not saying it's the be all and end all, or condoning materalism/shallowness, but it is part of the chemistry requirement.
Shell
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Of course.
I think some women go overboard with their "has to have blonde hair, these coloured eyes, this tall" pfft- just so picky. Thats not what im really talking about anyway tho.
peternorth
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I reckon low self esteem and disillusionment overlap.
Go into something with a negative mindset and it's unlikely anything good will come of it. I'm not good looking enough, I don't make enough money, I'm 47 and live at home with my parents... whatever. Other people will pick up on that negativity.
Go into something with a positive mindset and get a negative result, it's not always easy to bounce back and stay positive. But that's life. Quitters never win and all that.
Go into something with a positive mindset and get what you perceive as a positive result that is ultimately negative and you walk away wondering what the hell happened. Don't know about anyone else but give me a s**t date where you run out of things to talk about after 5 minutes every day of the week over a good date where you talk comfortably for hours and the next day you get a text with some generic platitude/cliche that just translates to 'nope, never want to see you again'.
Go into something with a negative mindset and it's unlikely anything good will come of it. I'm not good looking enough, I don't make enough money, I'm 47 and live at home with my parents... whatever. Other people will pick up on that negativity.
Go into something with a positive mindset and get a negative result, it's not always easy to bounce back and stay positive. But that's life. Quitters never win and all that.
Go into something with a positive mindset and get what you perceive as a positive result that is ultimately negative and you walk away wondering what the hell happened. Don't know about anyone else but give me a s**t date where you run out of things to talk about after 5 minutes every day of the week over a good date where you talk comfortably for hours and the next day you get a text with some generic platitude/cliche that just translates to 'nope, never want to see you again'.
This is why I always arrange dates at cafes or activities that I haven't been to and have been wanting to visit anyway. So even if the date sucks (or she texts the next day saying nah), I've tried something new that I now know whether I like or don't like.
Having said that, I've never had a first date where we spoke for 3+ hours and I didn't at least get a second, so I think you are quite unlucky there.
