The Da Metriou Code

[WAG]

What is the source of Fev’s gambling problem.



Few always though each bet brought him closer to his next good win. And who else thought this way? That’s right Simple Simon Goodwin.



Outside of football and gambling Simple Simon Goodwin’s next greatest enjoyment was the Sydney Gay Mardi gras.The Sydney Gay Mardi gras is all about music and gayness. Instrumental in bringing these two together was Michael Tippett, who was one of the first openly gay composers to explore issues of sexuality in his work.



Michael Tippett shares the same surname with overpaid Camry Crows forward Spud Tippett.



Spud Tippett usually gets chopped up and baked by opposition defenders making him resemble a potato chips.



Potato chips are the favourite fair of seagulls. The biggest seagull to ever play the game is Chipscab McLeod.



Chipscab McLeod was taught his salute by Lleyton Hewitt when he shared a place with him after he was caught cheating on his urchin of a wife.



Hewitt’s antics used to fire up his opponents. One such opponent to beat Hewitt was Mardy Fish in the 2009 SAP Open where he said he was egged on by Hewiit’s behaviour.



It is common knowledge that fish eggs are called roe.



Rowe is also the name of an Adelaide radio personality who is full of shit and likes going fishing on a boat.



When you are full of shit and on a boat you have to use the toilet which is called “the head’ in nautical terms.



The most famous person associated with the word head is Monica Lewinsky.



Monica is also famous for her dexterous use of a cigar.



Cigars are most commonly associated with Cuba.




The band Dragon sang a song about the April Sun in Cuba.


The dragon is the national symbol of Wales.



David Rhys-Jones is of Welsh decent and was charged 25 times and suspended for a total of 22 matches.



The most famous person reported and suspended for striking David Rhys-Jones was, you guessed it, Andrew Demetriou.



Therefore the source of Fev’s gambling problem is undoubtedly Andrew Demetriou

Your obsession is strong in this post !

 

[STC]

Who was responsible for Hawthorn taking Mitch Thorp instead of Joel Selwood?

Mitch Thorp is a faux-hardass notorious for his FIGJAM attitude and the fact that he likes to play with dogs, much like:

Joel Monaghan, a former NRL player now out of a job because of his off-field indiscretions, similar to:

Brendan Fevola, who is as stupid as he looks and loves a game of poker, just like the great man:

Shane Keith Warne, the greatest bowler of all time and a notorious sex addict who cheated on his wife many times, as did another of the greatest sportsmen in the world:

Tiger Woods, whose real name Eldrick is almost as ridiculous as

An Egyptian baby named Facebook Ibrahim, named after the social networking site, in honour of its role in overthrowing feared dictator

Hosni Mubarak, who ruled with an iron fist and refused to admit he was wrong, much like

Yep, Andrew Demetriou was responsible for Hawthorn's infamous drafting blunder, taking Mitch Thorp over Joel Selwood

 

[davywap]

This is more accurate than you know

Glad someone saw what I did there

 

[davywap]

Who is responsible for St. Kilda's consistent failure in Aussie Rules competition and social culture?

Nick Riewoldt is the face and leader of the St. Kilda football club. Recently he has acquired a haircut resembling a member of the Aryan Race:

Possibly the most well known Aryan groups is the Aryan Nations of the United States. They are infamous for 'unofficially' running the American prison system from the inside:

Prisons are establishments where people found guilty of breaking the law are sent for rehabilitation:

Those given the responsibility of upholding the law and arresting these offenders are known as 'police officers':

Former Richmond footballer Emmett Dunne is also a well known police officer:

Another famous Dunne in Aussie Rules football was St. Kilda's Jeff Dunne:

Therefore, JeffDunne is responsible for St. Kilda's consistent failure in Aussie Rules competition and social culture!!

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Best one yet Davy!

 

[Geoffa32]

St Nick's haircut is a lil disturbing.

 

[Paganism]

Who is running BigFooty?

BigFooty is mainly accessed by the unemployed

Unemployed people need to get some work

Then they can be considered a working man

Working man sounds like Workman, a slain gangster in the gang land wars

Workman was killed by Alphonse Gangitano

Who in turn was killed by Jason Moran

Who once shot Carl Williams in the stomach

Who was married to Roberta Williams

So in conclusion, Roberta Williams is running BigFooty

 

[LOKO]

Who is responsible for giving Kelli Underwood an opportunity to call games?

*Kelli Underwood*

*Kelly Osborne* Goth punk who can't sing....has brother jack...parents Ozzy & Sharon.

*Sharon Stone* Can't act to save herself......known for spreading her legs in this scene in Basic Instinct.

*St Kilda school girl* She spread them for Sam Gilbert

*Gottfried Gilbert* Jewish comedian known for the voice of Iago in Aladdin

*Aladdin*

In conclusion......I find this arabian.....flying carpet....terrorist to be responsible for giving Kelli Underwood a gig at calling AFL games

This wasn't funny at all... it was racist and hateful, and just unpleasant.

 

[D_One]

Who is responsible for Collingwood being the most racist and repugnant football club in the AFL?

Nicky Winmar was the player who first brought to Australia’s attention the racism and repugnance of the Collingwood Football Club with his display of “I’m black and I’m proud” aimed at the Collingwood redneck supporters.

And who was the first athlete to bring black power to the attention of the world media? Bob Beamon after winning the long jump medal in the Mexico City Olympics back in 1968.

Bob Beamon won his gold medal after a long leap. And “a long leap” is an anagram for the words “plane” and “gaol”. And who else would be alive today if they were in gaol where they belong instead of flying around in a third world plane? Hansie Cronje, that’s who.

And when you think of Hansie Cronje you think of match fixing. Cricket has become embroiled in match fixing with many fans saying the game is on the nose. Federal Sports Minister Mark Arbib is in discussions with Cricket Australia and wants to pass a Bill into Law similar to the UK’s anti-cheating legislation, which mimics the stock markets insider trading laws. And when you think of Nose, Cricket, Bill and Law, you think of Bill Lawry

And who was the only Australian Cricketer who could match Bill Lawry in terms of proboscis length? Lenny Pascoe. Lenny’s nose was so big that it was often suggested that he wear a veil.

And who was the most famous VFL player recruited from Pascoe Vale, you guessed it. Andrew Demetriou himself.

Therefore Andrew Demetriou is responsible for Collingwood being the most racist and repugnant football club in the AFL

 

[STC]

Well done D1 that was actually pretty good

This guy would be proud:

 

[Gary Ayres]

LOL pwned yourself it got stickied bro

The mods choose for it to get stickied bro not the bay .

Settle down princess...im sure bosk will be back soon for a shoulder to cry on and mop up your tears that someone on a footy forum said your thread was shit

Bayer is a sensitive man. He is as sensitive as a wwoman's clit, not that he would know what that is like.

 

[Bayer_]

The mods choose for it to get stickied bro not the bay .



Bayer is a sensitive man. He is as sensitive as a wwoman's clit, not that he would know what that is like.

Not posting as snoochems today, dymwit?

 

[D_One]

Why are the Swans the most boring team to watch in the AFL??

When you want to understand a club you have to look at its traditional and spiritual leadership. And in the case of the Swans it is the veggie-eating Dalai Lama-loving Buddhist Brett Kirk. Although no longer the Captain his aura and effect remains strong at the club.

And when you hear the words Captain and Kirk together you think of Star Trek’s Captain Kirk played by William Shatner.

And when you think of Star Trek and William Shatner you think of the way he refuses to associate with "annoying" Trekkie fans and once advised a room full of Trekkies to "Get a life".

A self professed Trekkie was none other than Tom Hanks who tried to start a Star Trek club at his school and Hanks was actually the original choice to play Zefram Cochrane in Star Trek: First Contact, and desperately wanted to play the role, but had to back out due to his earlier commitment to another movie.

And when you think of Tom Hanks you think of his character Robert Langdon. Langdon is a Boston Professor who unravels farfetched conspiracies where the perpetrators always end up saying “I would have got away with it if it wasn’t for that pesky Boston professor”. And when you hear this you immediately think of the closing line of every Scooby-Doo episode where the bloke in the sheet ends up saying “I would have got away with it if it wasn’t for those pesky kids”

And when you think of Scooby-Doo you think of the latest release CGI television movie titled “Scooby-Doo, Curse of the Lake Monster”

And when you hear the words Monster and Lake you think of the movie Monster starring Charlize Theron …

… and the fact that she owns a holiday villa on Lake Como, Italy …

And who is the best known Australian personality that owns a holiday house in Lake Como, Italy. You guessed it Vlad himself. All the clues lead back to Vlad.

Therefore it is all Andrew Demetriou’s fault that the Swans are the most boring team to watch in the AFL.

 

[Bayer_]

Agree strongly. This thread started off poorly and went downhill after that. The fact that it's been stickied yet has barely made it to 5 pages is only further proof of how shit it is.

Would have died a long time ago had the mods not forced us to keep looking at it

You're just jealous your ad hominem thread didn't get stickied. This thread is quality, as evidenced by the quick accumulation of views. There aren't many pages because it takes a brain to contribute - which you, Jade's and dymwit haven't.

Stick to your Judd circle jerk threads you **** sucker.

 

[kreuze_missile]

You're just jealous your ad hominem thread didn't get stickied. This thread is quality, as evidenced by the quick accumulation of views. There aren't many pages because it takes a brain to contribute - which you, Jade's and dymwit haven't.

Stick to your Judd circle jerk threads you **** sucker.

The page view is due to the sticky, flog. Don't take it so personally, it's not like this is the first shit thread you've posted

 

[Tyler Durden007]

Any more lame attempts to slag the stickiness of this thread will earn cards... I dare you slagging flogs to come up with something Lulzier than this thread... You can't you're just being pissants and I'll be very happy to bring the banzhammer on you dumb asses

 

[Bayer_]

The page view is due to the sticky, flog. Don't take it so personally, it's not like this is the first shit thread you've posted

If only it were as simple as you are, KM.

In my corner are the Bay's respected posters, who not only appreciate this thread, but also contribute to it.

In your corner are flogs like dymwit and Jade's, who - like you - have never posted anything slightly entertaining in their entire time on the Bay. Like the Terror Squad, except the Terror Squad were at least amusing in an angry chihuahua kind of way.

 

[charcoalchicken]

The mods choose for it to get stickied bro not the bay .

It's still stickied though bro have you even made a thread ever you irrelevant flog this is the 1st time I've even noticed one of your posts and it's only because it was directed at me

 

[Bender_]

Who is responsible for the SA Bay 13 shit fights?

"Shit fight" is derived from describing these SA football focused threads as poster's flinging poo at one another, much like our primate ancestors:

Michael Jackson had a pet chimp known as Bubbles:

Michael Jackson had a hit with his song "Black or White", which at the time had a monumental cost for the making of the music video well into the millions, which also starred Macauley Culkin:

Macauley Culkin, in his infinite wisdom, turned down the lead role in the film "Titanic" directed by James Cameron:

"Titanic" was the highest grossing film of all time, until James Cameron made his next block buster "Avatar":

The film "Avatar" was based on the fictional planet "Pandora", Pandora derived from the ancient Greek tale of Pandora's Box:

And who is a high profile member of the AFL who's of Greek descent?

Andy D is responsible for the SA shit fights - possibly to distract the inhabitants of SA from the quality of Football coming out of the state itself!

 

[Rudeurrection]

Stickies just aint what they used to be.

Can we have the old mods back now?

Note: An old mod wouldnt card me for this comment.

 

[davywap]

Why have Port Adelaide become a completely shit-house, dog's breakfast of a club?

Until last year Mark "Choco" Williams was coach of Port and is they're only premiership coach. He shares his name with a New Zealand born pop artist:

Mark Williams is currently the lead-singer for the reformed NZ/Aussie legendary band Dragon. Possibly Dragon's most successful album was O Zambezi:

The name of this album borrows itself from a river and town in the African nation of Zambia:

Zambia is officially a Christian nation, with 85% of its population being of Christian persuasion. Christian places of worship are generally referred to as a Church:

Adelaide is an Australian city known for its abundance of churches and not much else. One of the more well known suburbs of Adelaide is Port Adelaide:

As you can see, Port Adelaide have only themselves to blame for becoming a completely shit-house, dog's breakfast of a club.

 

[bontshow]

So, why was this thread stickied?

The thread was created by Bayer, who is a Hawthorn supporter

Hawthorn are known for selling home games to Tasmania

Tasmania is known as the Apple Isle

An apple a day keeps the doctor away

Doctors get paid a lot of money

Gary Ablett left Geelong for a lot of money

TylerDurden007 is offended over Gary Ablett leaving

Therefore, TylerDurden007 is responsible for stickying this thread

 

[davywap]

^^^ I Lulzed

 

[chefmeister]

Any more lame attempts to slag the stickiness of this thread will earn cards... I dare you slagging flogs to come up with something Lulzier than this thread... You can't you're just being pissants and I'll be very happy to bring the banzhammer on you dumb asses

"The first rule of Fight Club is...."

 

[chefmeister]

Who is responsible for Hawthorn's embarrassing form since the '08 premiership..?

Andrew Demetriou played for Norf Melbourne but he also had a brief stint at the Hawks in their premiership year of 1988.

The Hawks have only made the finals once since their last flag, losing in humiliating fasion to Fremantle.

Fremantle, who have never won a premiership are coached by Essendon great and premier player, Mark Harvey.

Andrew Demetriou has an older brother Jim, who played for Essendon who are known for their premiership success with a record *16 flags.
*Carlton to a lesser extent also share this mantle...

Andrew Demetriou was reported in 1984 for striking a Carlton player named David Rhys-Jones who tore the Hawks a new one in the '87 Grand Final.

The Hawks were also flogged back to back in the '84 & '85 grand finals by Essendon with a half back flanker named Peter "Bradbury" featuring for the Bombers in '84.

"Bradbury" is the name given to any win as a result of miraculous circumstances, despite being in a losing position.
Especially in the case of sporting triumph, such as your competition falling over at the finish line, eg;

Coincidentally, this is how everyone not associated with Hawthorn see the Hawks last premiership win over Geelong.

Andrew Demetriou has never played for the Cats and Essendon have never beaten Geelong in a Grand Final, yet Geelong have wiped the floor with the Hawks in every meeting since the "Bradbury" of 27-09-08.

So as you can clearly see, Geelong are to blame for Hawthorn's embarrassing demise since 2008.







Please don't banzhammer me Tyler.