Mega Thread The Random Thoughts Thread Part 2: Electric Portaloo

[CharlieKelly]

 

[edgie]

Started a sentence with "But".

 

[Capital Power]

Telstra Customer Service Or: 83 Minutes of Terror

Disconnected the home phone yesterday. But had to reconnect it. Coz apparently my ADSL interwebz won't work without it.

(Is that shit true or is Telstra just f@%king with me?)

Eh, whatever, I'll reconnect and be back shitposting on ExtremeRossFaulkner in no time.

Er, no.

Because the account is still in my 79yo Mum's name. And she had to authorise me doing anything. Which meant the Indian call centre operator having to ring her in the nursing home.

But Mum thinks every Indian with a phone is a scammer so she hung up on them.

Every. Single. Time.

Next thing I've got a milllion missed calls and voicemails and I'm dreading calling her but know I have to.

Because interwebz.

Anyway, I make the call and cop this hysterical verbal assault about Indian scammers trying to rip off her life savings.

"BITCH, PLEASE! YOU HAVEN'T GOT ANY MONEY!! F@%K!!!"

Finally got a word in. But now she's going off at me. And apparently I'm "in cahoots with the feckin Indians."

Errrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhh...

"Yeah, I'm in cahoots with the feckin Indians. We're gonna rip you off blind. But when they call again - "
"Yera, they better not!"
"Yera, they will. Authorise me. Gimme permission. Whatever."
"Feckin arseh*le."
"Just say yes! For ****'s sake."

CLICK! She hung up on me. Shit. F@%k it, I ring Telstra again not knowing if the crazy old bitch will give me the all clear. They ring her in the nursing home again. This time, she doesn't hang up.

She authorised me and shit.

BOO-YA!!! So now we're in the reconnection home straight. Smooth sailing from here. Until they notice my monthly bill is a week overdue.

Shit.

"Yeah, I pay online. So, um, I was gonna sort it out when the internet was back up. Er, yeah."
"Let me just consult with my manager."

No need. I know what's coming. But I still hold on listening to that f@%king awful elevator music. Clinging to faint hope. Desperately.

"Hello, sir."
"Hi."
"We can reconnect your home phone - "
"Great!"
"When the outstanding amount is paid in full."

And that's when I hung up, dropped to my knees and looked up at the cracked, peeling ceiling.

Then sobbed uncontrollably.

A broken man...

It took me three months, several "live chat" sessions, at least half a dozen calls and finally a visit to the Telstra shop to get my phone and my ADSL put on the same account so I could bundle them. My crime? My wife originally set up the phone and I the broadband, long before the ability to have a single account was a thing. Telstra is even less progressive than the Government - they don't seem to recognise marriages of any flavour. It literally took less time to buy a house.

 

[68vette]

 

[raman]

US election betting pool!

Winner gets... one match of your choice worth of drinks on me at AO next year (I am a generous drink buyer, but keep it within reason...), or equivalent something or other if you're interstate. The winner is the one who gets closest to the popular vote % margin and the electoral college margin.

My picks:

Clinton to win popular vote by 4.2%
Clinton to win electoral college by 307 to 231

Use the map at http://edition.cnn.com/election/interactive-electoral-college-map if you want to do some sums.

 

[Duck Farmer]

View attachment 308652

You're just messing with Forzaport's mind.

 

[Dylan8]

View attachment 308652

Hillary's head looks like something out of Deus Ex (the first one)

 

[Magpiespower]

Clinton 312-226 and 3.8%...

 

[bomberclifford]

Clinton is the iguana.
Trump is the snakes.

 

[raman]

Clinton is the iguana.
Trump is the snakes.

Ugly as ****, amazing ability to improvise and survive (I mean iguanas who dive into the ocean to eat seaweew, come on)

vs

Creepy as ****, love a good populist gang-up.

I like it.

 

[Contested Marx]

Clinton is the iguana.
Trump is the snakes.

Can someone repost that video

Been looking all day for it but can't remember what feed I saw it in

 

[Contested Marx]

Nvm I found it everywhere

 

[SureBuddy]

Trump to win popular vote by 1.2%
Trump to win electoral college 283-255

 

[BornPort]

My picks:

Clinton to win popular vote by 3.5%
Clinton to win electoral college by 293 to 245

 

[raman]

Can someone repost that video

Been looking all day for it but can't remember what feed I saw it in

Just get on episode one of Planet Earth II in 1080p at minimum. Amazing stuff.

 

[Dylan8]

A Dean liked something I posted on Facebook while What Deaner Was Talkin About was playing

And I clicked on his profile and the first thing was a post about him being friends with a Gene for however many years. Eddie Dingle I believe that is "so brown".

 

[chiwigi]

US election betting pool!

Winner gets... one match of your choice worth of drinks on me at AO next year (I am a generous drink buyer, but keep it within reason...), or equivalent something or other if you're interstate. The winner is the one who gets closest to the popular vote % margin and the electoral college margin.

My picks:

Clinton to win popular vote by 4.2%
Clinton to win electoral college by 307 to 231

Use the map at http://edition.cnn.com/election/interactive-electoral-college-map if you want to do some sums.

Popular vote but 2%
Electoral college 250/288 ish

 

[raman]

Popular vote but 2%
Electoral college 250/288 ish

In the interest of broad based fairness and transparency, it's probably best to denote names.

 

[Contested Marx]

HC by five percent
HC 290//248 DT
And he won't even get Florida

 

[LukeSA]

HC by five percent
HC 290//248 DT
And he won't even get Florida

Bold call.

 

[Arthur Dunger]

 

[bomberclifford]

Great doco on ABC about Mambo right now.

 

[Contested Marx]

Bold call.

I literally have no idea

 

[LukeSA]

I literally have no idea

Me either.

 

[raman]

Kassidy gawn from ANTM