Roachy8
Brownlow Medallist
Now clearly in 2010 we were never going to poll lots of Charlie votes due to our crapness early in the year and from posting only 6 wins...
However, in a couple of years when we are hopefully pushing into the 8, if we want to avoid being disappointed on Brownlow night like Pies supporters were, we need to start planning on getting our players 'looking' like Brownlow winners. (Swan never had a chance with those tatts...)
Clearly you need to have a few attributes in these modern times to catch the umpires eye and therefore poll well.
General baldness of the head always goes down well as does a beaky sort of nose which makes you look like you are always scowling and blocked up with snot.
Red ruby lips looking like they have been shmeared liberally with the latest Helena Rubinstein red-lock 7 lipstick always appeals.
Also helps if your about 50 feet tall... pretty hard to miss when your big head and ears are eclipsing the sun for half a game.
No doubt that Judd, Ablett & Sandilands are all fine players but let's face it... just being a great player is not good enough anymore to grab the umpires attention so what can our boys do to raise their profile?
I seriously fear for Dusty's ongoing polling ability with that angry look and neck tattoos and all... was lucky to get any votes last night IMO.
Lids & Cotch are just too pretty... basically no hope and unless one of them starts dating a human pretzel they will not get their profile up. (By the way... that is how I know for sure that Juddy has not yet progressed his relationship with Twig past half a base... even with his mosquito phallus, any nocturnal carnal activity would surely have snapped that human chicken wing clean in two by now!)
So who else have we got that might snare some votes?
Forget Jack or any other forwards, not to mention defenders... this is not their category.
I reckon our Brownlow hopes may well rest with everyones locker room pal, 12 wet towells Andy!!!
Get him to swollow a handful of viagra before each game and the fully 'erected' 8 man tent in the front of his shorts for the next few hours will surely differentiate him enough from all other players and snare him enough 3 votes to 'salute' come finals week
However, in a couple of years when we are hopefully pushing into the 8, if we want to avoid being disappointed on Brownlow night like Pies supporters were, we need to start planning on getting our players 'looking' like Brownlow winners. (Swan never had a chance with those tatts...)
Clearly you need to have a few attributes in these modern times to catch the umpires eye and therefore poll well.
General baldness of the head always goes down well as does a beaky sort of nose which makes you look like you are always scowling and blocked up with snot.
Red ruby lips looking like they have been shmeared liberally with the latest Helena Rubinstein red-lock 7 lipstick always appeals.
Also helps if your about 50 feet tall... pretty hard to miss when your big head and ears are eclipsing the sun for half a game.
No doubt that Judd, Ablett & Sandilands are all fine players but let's face it... just being a great player is not good enough anymore to grab the umpires attention so what can our boys do to raise their profile?
I seriously fear for Dusty's ongoing polling ability with that angry look and neck tattoos and all... was lucky to get any votes last night IMO.
Lids & Cotch are just too pretty... basically no hope and unless one of them starts dating a human pretzel they will not get their profile up. (By the way... that is how I know for sure that Juddy has not yet progressed his relationship with Twig past half a base... even with his mosquito phallus, any nocturnal carnal activity would surely have snapped that human chicken wing clean in two by now!)
So who else have we got that might snare some votes?
Forget Jack or any other forwards, not to mention defenders... this is not their category.
I reckon our Brownlow hopes may well rest with everyones locker room pal, 12 wet towells Andy!!!
Get him to swollow a handful of viagra before each game and the fully 'erected' 8 man tent in the front of his shorts for the next few hours will surely differentiate him enough from all other players and snare him enough 3 votes to 'salute' come finals week
