What's wrong with Carlton?

[James]

Ladies and gentleman, I think with the use of subterfuge, this Bay 13 poster might just have given us an insight into what is wrong down at Carlton.

Let's take a look again at what this specimen said:

"Lucky we have Waite, Hampson, Kreuzer and Henderson".

Wow, yes, I think I was right. I think in this seemingly pro-Carlton comment, we can uncover something, a rare nugget of insight. Just let me get the microscope out so we can take a closer look at that:

"Lucky we have Waite, Hampson, Kreuzer and Henderson".

Yes! Yes! There it is! When placed under the microscope, we can clearly see that this Carlton supporter believes that Waite, Hampson, Kreuzer and Henderson are very good key forwards!

Bafflingly, this specimen has neglected that Waite is an injury prone backman sometimes switched forward, to minor effect, that Hampson is a "good ordinary player" at BEST, that Kreuzer is a ruckman as far as everyone else in the universe is concerned, and a Justin Koscitzke'esque forward at best, and that Henderson is, well, a potato, who cannot kick straighter than 45 degrees right of his target, as evidenced here -

[YOUTUBE]DQ24WphV4YU[/YOUTUBE]

He also managed to miss a shot for goal, from inside the goalsquare, in 2011.

So, Carlton have placed their KPP hopes in these four below average forwards, and this Carlton supporter is using this as evidence that nothing is wrong at Carlton.

Clearly, we see the Stockholm Syndrome in full effect here. This team, so used to failing, now accept failures of players, and indeed celebrate them.

Let's look at it again under the microscope, just one more time:

"Lucky we have Waite, Hampson, Kreuzer and Henderson".

Yes. Yes there can be no doubt about that. Clearly this supporter is suffering badly from the Carlton Stockholm Syndrome. If anyone knows this supporter in real life, please direct him IMMEDIATELY to a psychiatrist, he will require heavy, prolonged treatment before he is well again.

Maybe we should have traded for this potato?

[YOUTUBE]C1oIV6pzA14[/YOUTUBE]

 

[lamaros]

Let's take a look again at what this specimen said:

"Lucky we have Waite, Hampson, Kreuzer and Henderson".

Wow, yes, I think I was right. I think in this seemingly pro-Carlton comment, we can uncover something, a rare nugget of insight. Just let me get the microscope out so we can take a closer look at that:

"Lucky we have Waite, Hampson, Kreuzer and Henderson".

Yes! Yes! There it is! When placed under the microscope, we can clearly see that this Carlton supporter believes that Waite, Hampson, Kreuzer and Henderson are very good key forwards!

Bafflingly, this specimen has neglected that Waite is an injury prone backman sometimes switched forward, to minor effect, that Hampson is a "good ordinary player" at BEST, that Kreuzer is a ruckman as far as everyone else in the universe is concerned, and a Justin Koscitzke'esque forward at best, and that Henderson is, well, a potato, who cannot kick straighter than 45 degrees right of his target, as evidenced here -

[YOUTUBE]DQ24WphV4YU[/YOUTUBE]

He also managed to miss a shot for goal, from inside the goalsquare, in 2011.

Excellent points. Lets follow up some of this insight.

Jarrad 'untapped potential' Waite has missed 33 games in the last three years. Despite this poor record Jarrad, now 29 years old, is going to overcome these setbacks and blossom into a key position forward in the twilight of his career. Unless he is required to go back and help the defence...

Lachlan 'I don't want to be a defender, but the coaches think I'm rubbish' Henderson has finally been convinced of what everyone else has known for some time now - he's just not very good:

"Every time I kick a goal at training, I throw up they should put me back forward but ... I think it will be a permanent move."

Shaun 'power forward' Hampson might look like a bit of a spud when he plays, but looks can be deceptive. This all action super hero has the kind of output that genuine key forwards can only dream of. Think Setanta's 67 goals in 80 games was impressive? Wait 'till you take a gander at Hampson's output. 44 inspiring AFL games for 14 goals. With a career high 6 goals for the 2010 AFL season to build upon, Shaun Hampson will be tearing your defence apart in 2012!

Matthew 'I'm actually a ruckman' Kreuzer is actually a ruckman, strange as it may seem. Perhaps the fact that he is tall and kicks more goals than Carlton's actual forwards is confusing you - he wowed them down at Visy Park with 7 goals in 2011 - but let me set you straight: this guy plays in the middle.

 

[Duritz]

HHHHmmmmm, and you took 5.00 for your team to finish above mine?

I think you can write your own song and call it "don't believe my own hype"

But you are still a traineee mod......God man go back to high school, they are crying for prefects ......Please Durex, change the sig man, it really does reek.....and answer the question, why do you want to be a mod??????
If they asked you that is one thing,
but to squeal I want to be a cheerleader/prefect? I just dont get it, used to think you were funny but now the jury is out......

Why WOULDN'T you want to be a mod??? They have the power. And therefore the women.

 

[Essendonia]

When did it ever open?

 

[Franc de Borges]

Henderson is a very good defender. That's where the Bears played him also. I reckon Duritz is pissed that their best defender is now a Carlton player, while he's forced to watch Brendan Fevo...oh wait.

 

[Duritz]

Henderson is a very good defender.

To quote Lionel Hutz, "Wait a minute, I'm confused!"

Didn't your fellow Carlton supporters just claim he was a great key forward? Let's revisit -

Lucky we have Waite, Hampson, krezuer and Henderson

Yes, yes there it is again! Why, I thought you said he was a defender?

Jarrad Waite, the 29yo who is apparently about to become a forward.

Shaun Hampson, the spud who is apparently about to become a forward.

Matthew Kreuzer, the ruckman who is apparently about to become a forward.

And Lachie Henderson, the defender who is apparently about to become a forward.

It really is becoming clearer, this Carlton Stockholm syndrome. Even in the face of compelling evidence to the contrary, they defend their defenders and ruckman and spuds to the hilt, claiming they are "forwards".

This syndrome runs deep, it seems.

 

[Dazb86]

Thread will backfire this weekend.

 

[Bay 13 God]

Henderson (thanks bears) like Waite can play forward or back, its called versatility. Look it up.

 

[Leather Poisoning]

Henderson (thanks bears) like Waite can play forward or back, its called versatility. Look it up.

It's called not being good enough in either position.

 

[Baldur]

Excellent points. Lets follow up some of this insight.

Jarrad 'untapped potential' Waite has missed 33 games in the last three years. Despite this poor record Jarrad, now 29 years old, is going to overcome these setbacks and blossom into a key position forward in the twilight of his career. Unless he is required to go back and help the defence...

Lachlan 'I don't want to be a defender, but the coaches think I'm rubbish' Henderson has finally been convinced of what everyone else has known for some time now - he's just not very good:


Shaun 'power forward' Hampson might look like a bit of a spud when he plays, but looks can be deceptive. This all action super hero has the kind of output that genuine key forwards can only dream of. Think Setanta's 67 goals in 80 games was impressive? Wait 'till you take a gander at Hampson's output. 44 inspiring AFL games for 14 goals. With a career high 6 goals for the 2010 AFL season to build upon, Shaun Hampson will be tearing your defence apart in 2012!

Matthew 'I'm actually a ruckman' Kreuzer is actually a ruckman, strange as it may seem. Perhaps the fact that he is tall and kicks more goals than Carlton's actual forwards is confusing you - he wowed them down at Visy Park with 7 goals in 2011 - but let me set you straight: this guy plays in the middle.

Forwards avg more then 1 goal a game. Good forwards avg more then 2 goals a game. To even suggest that spuds who avg less then a goal a game are power forwards is so delusional that the Carltank flogs need medical help.

 

[James]

Henderson is a very good defender. That's where the Bears played him also. I reckon Duritz is pissed that their best defender is now a Carlton player, while he's forced to watch Brendan Fevo...oh wait.

Yeh but they have Maguire & Patfull as their CHB options this year!

 

[Duritz]

Thread will backfire this weekend.

Not in the slightest... thread is not about how they go against Brisbane, it's about why they aren't winning premierships or making preliminary finals, when they have had access to all those draft picks, and when they got Judd outside the cap. As I said earlier, if they don't beat us then things are even worse than I thought when I started this thread.

Henderson (thanks bears) like Waite can play forward or back, its called versatility. Look it up.

Here is some of Hendo's "versatility" -

[YOUTUBE]DQ24WphV4YU[/YOUTUBE]

You're right there. Not many players are "versatile" enough to pull that one off.

 

[T2B_]

Henderson >>> any Bears player bar Brown

 

[Franc de Borges]

To quote Lionel Hutz, "Wait a minute, I'm confused!"

Didn't your fellow Carlton supporters just claim he was a great key forward? Let's revisit -



Yes, yes there it is again! Why, I thought you said he was a defender?

Jarrad Waite, the 29yo who is apparently about to become a forward.

Shaun Hampson, the spud who is apparently about to become a forward.

Matthew Kreuzer, the ruckman who is apparently about to become a forward.

And Lachie Henderson, the defender who is apparently about to become a forward.

It really is becoming clearer, this Carlton Stockholm syndrome. Even in the face of compelling evidence to the contrary, they defend their defenders and ruckman and spuds to the hilt, claiming they are "forwards".

This syndrome runs deep, it seems.

Waite - excellent forward, just needs to stay injury free
Hampson - due to having three ruckman, will be used predominantly as a forward
Kreuzer - ruckman, can pinch hit up forward
Henderson - went to defence last season due to needs, excelled in that position and looks set to stay there

The real question is, what's wrong with you?

 

[Duritz]

The real question is, what's wrong with you?

LOL.... I don't think we have enough time for that one.

 

[SamFisher25]

What's wrong with Carlton?

Judd has only won as many flags as St Kilda

 

[blues_10]

so duritz what your saying is, because we lost to the doggies and because collingwood lost to melbourne means that both the blues and the pies are gone right? And because winning the preseason cup like we did in 2005 got us real far in the home and away season!


You idiot! NO need to take it out on us because we all know brisbane will be shi* for the next decade. FAIL!

 

[blues_10]

Henderson >>> any Bears player bar Brown

Nahhhh, actually henderson>>>any bears player including brown. (brown wont play another afl game)

 

[Duritz]

so duritz what your saying is, because we lost to the doggies and because collingwood lost to melbourne means that both the blues and the pies are gone right? And because winning the preseason cup like we did in 2005 got us real far in the home and away season!

Nope, that's not what I am saying.

I am saying that I am worried about your club, because of your lack of success, even with all the "talent" at your disposal.

Tell me, blues_10, why do you think your club has failed to deliver thus far, even though it's been gifted draft picks, Judd, etc?

 

[BLUEALLTHRU]

Duritz I hope you will be a big enough man to eat your words at the end of the year because every thing will be revealed.

PS Nice trolling though.

 

[Duritz]

Duritz I hope you will be a big enough man to eat your words at the end of the year because every thing will be revealed.

PS Nice trolling though.

Everything will be revealed??? Holy shit, is Gary Niewand a Blues fan???

 

[PieBeast]

Henderson - went to defence last season due to needs, excelled in that position and looks set to stay there

Conceding 3/4 goals per game is not what I'd call excelling but one can understand where you're coming from, it was either that or getting delisted for Hendospud.

 

[T2B_]

Judd has only won as many flags as St Kilda

You're proud of the fact St Kilda has only won as many flags as a single player who's been going barely a decade?

CULCHA!

 

[Bombers 2003]

I get an enlarged penis every time judd runs on the field

you are very odd twomey

 

[cooper966]

Apart from having a culture of salary cap cheating, paying off women who their players r*ped, being run by criminally corrupt businessmen and donating guernsies to be draped over the coffins of murderers?

Not much, they are the family club

Unless I have missed something?

Mmmmmm.......

Cuz, Gards, Special K Kerr, Embers, Flatliner Fletch, Edwards, Mainy, Hunter, Lynch......

Have I missed anyone?