WWE TV, Rumours and Discussion

[gaskin]

I saw some bloke wearing an Edge hockey Jersey on the bus a few weeks ago.

 

[Bomberboyokay]

Shout out to /u/illmurray for the inspiration.

At 6:28 p.m. I got off the subway at Times Square, scanned the street for cops, and then popped a sugar cube dosed with liquid LSD into my mouth. I walked the few blocks to Madison Square Garden, rolling the cube around my mouth to make it break down and dissolve faster.

I've never been to MSG before, so my first challenge was the surprisingly intense security check because I had a chunk of a very strong weed cookie hidden away in my bag (this is important later). Fortunately it was in a zippered compartment that the guy didn't open, but I was sweating it for a minute. I was inside MSG by 7 p.m., and I didn't feel like I was experiencing any LSD effects yet but I still found it difficult to figure out how to find my section so I stopped to pay way too much money for a sausage from a stand called Sausage Boss and a big plastic cup of beer.

As I made my first real attempt to find my seat, things started to get confusing. I would ask one of the dudes who take your ticket how to get to my section but I couldn't really follow what he told me so I just went to the next guy and he would give me (presumably) the same directions and I did this two or three times before I found my section. Then the row/seat numbering system didn't make any sense. Eventually I found my seat.

As a WWE TV viewer, I am a smark arsehole who likes cool heels. In the days leading up to the show I wondered out loud to my wife about whether I'd be around other scumbag smarks or mark families. I ended up in between a dad and his Cena-loving son and another family with three or four kids, and instantly any desire I'd had to cheer for heels or start the "SETH IS HORNY!" chant that someone here proposed or even join in the "CENA SUCKS" half of the chant disappeared. I also started to wonder: Is it going to be obvious to these nice wholesome families that I'm high as *? Because once the show gets rolling, I'm well on my way to being high as *.

The guy a row in front of me is wearing a Paige sweatshirt over a Paige T-shirt, and has a picture of Paige as the wallpaper on his phone. I start to think about how if I heard that Paige was abducted while she was in NYC I would assume it was this guy.

Eden (I think?) botches the hashtag to vote on whether Brie Bella is allowed at ringside during Nikki's match with Paige; what she says is in a different order from the hashtags on the 'Tron. Bad News Barrett shows up on the 'Tron to deliver the bad news that he's defending the Intercontinental championship in a triple threat match with Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler. This seems like good news to me but I am on LSD, and the match actually felt kind of boring. Barrett stayed outside for a bunch of it. I'm also more used to watching wrestling on TV so at first I'm watching the screen out of habit instead of focusing on the ring. There was a wacky finish with Barrett winning but Ambrose taking the belt again.

Paige vs. Nikki Bella is next and I wonder if the guy in front of me in all the Paige gear is gonna split after this or just sit there bored for the rest of the show. I'm watching the ring now, and as Nikki takes Paige to the mat, it looks like Paige's flesh is melting into a puddle under her back. I start to worry that she's going to melt away or transform into some weird monster but then I remember the acid.

Kidd/Cesaro vs. The New Day might have actually been before that Divas match. Kidd and Cesaro are awesome. Everyone in MSG hates New Day and chants "NEW DAY SUCKS" a lot. The colors on Cesaro's 'Tron are mesmerizing.

Chris Jericho comes out. I hate Chris Jericho so I decide to hit the bathroom and get another beer. As I make my way back to my section I hear him talking about a match with Luke Harper. I love Luke Harper! I get back in time to catch most of it, and I swear when "the crowd" did a ten count on some top-rope punch Jericho did it was piped in through the speakers, it sounded way too loud to be just crowd noise.

Cena vs. Rusev was seriously great. By this point I was extremely high and I really locked into the storytelling and psychology of the match. At the same time, I was kind of obsessing over the weirdness of seeing all these people I've only seen on TV in person. Like: I'm technically in the same room as John Cena and Rusev. Am I close to them, or am I far away? I could interact with them if I just stood up and ran down to the ring. (I didn't run down to the ring, I just pondered the possibility of it.) And then on top of that, I'm kind of in awe at the purity of little kids' love for Cena. They did a spot where the ref took a bump, and before the replacement ref came out Cena put Rusev in a submission hold and Rusev actually tapped but there was no ref to see it, and kids were FREAKING THE * OUT about it. "BUT RUSEV TAPPED OUT! HE TAPPED OUT! CENA IS THE US CHAMP!" In my head I say, "c'mon, they're not gonna have a title change hands at a house sho--" and then I feel like a huge arsehole.

(At some point in the show there's a long promo for Connor's Cure and that s**t is a real bummer if you are on drugs.)

Intermission! I buy another beer and take a phone pic of a little kid with a Goldust mask and Stardust gloves.

It's still intermission when I get back to my seat, and even though I'm tripping pretty hard I decide that it's a good idea to add that piece of weed cookie to the mix. Fandango vs. R-Truth is next and I realize that they're the "people are still coming back from intermission" match and I feel sorta bad for them. I can hear R-Truth's raps more clearly than on TV, and they include "you can get with this, or you could get with that/New York City, what's up with that?" Does Vince ghostwrite his lyrics? He also dropped "Whoomp! There it is!" again. What the * man.

Time for Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton. I do my first real audience participation of the night by being a firefly. I've got limited experience with live wrestling, just one ROH show and one Chikara show before this, and I am still working through the famous-TV-guys-in-real-life acid weirdness, but Bray Wyatt is far and away the guy with the most palpable live presence I've seen so far. Luke Harper was actually in second place in that regard, and I hope he and Bray team up again one day. Wyatt/Orton has my absolute favorite moment of the night, when Wyatt does Reigns' apron dropkick, then does this funny little dance/pout routine, like "look at me, I'm a pretty boy!" If Reigns is gonna be champ, then Bray should be the top heel who tries to get in his head.

OH s**t IT'S HULK HOGAN APPRECIATION NIGHT. Jimmy Hart introduces him. It's been about 45 minutes since I ate that chunk of weed cookie, and as the Mouth of the South yelps about Hogan's legacy I realize that I'm really, really uncomfortably high. Every time someone comes out -- Hart, Hogan, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash -- I stand up so I can see them in the flesh instead of on the 'Tron, but every time I stand up I get overwhelmed by the sheer size of MSG and the audience. When I first got here and the show started I thought it felt smaller and more low-key than it looks on TV, but now it's seriously too much to handle.

I hear "Also Sprach Zarathustra" and Ric Flair is out. I love Flair but it's retroactive because I dropped out of watching WWE for huge periods and I never watched WCW as a kid. The combo of the music and Flair's entrance and the rapturous response he gets from the crowd gives me legit "I'm not worthy" anxiety, like Flair is the actual god of pro wrestling (at least in his kayfabe presentation) and I'm just a smark who watches dumb 2011-present WWE. Triple H comes out with some executives from Madison Square Garden. He has like an all-corporate entrance video package that's just shots of him doing business stuff, and I think about the MSG guys who are just as real executives as Trips but don't have hype packages. I feel bad for them like I did for Fandango and R-Truth.

I feel really weird through this whole Hulk Hogan appreciation thing. They're showing his baby pictures and s**t. I text my wife to say it feels like it's been going on for two hours. She tells me it's been about 40 minutes. I start to worry that there might not be any more wrestling. Hogan gets a banner on the MSG rafters but I don't know anything about MSG or sports and when they unveil it I just feel like I'm in a giant pachinko machine or something.

There is a main event: Kane/Rollins vs. Bryan/Reigns. My wife asks if I'm going to chant "SETH IS HORNY" and I tell her no. The famous-TV-guys dissonance is strong. Kids mark out beautifully. "NO WAY, YOU CHEATERS!"

LOLROMANWINS. After the show I bought a Slim Jim and a 40 of Olde English. They were delicious.

EDIT: At one point late in the show, the guy in all the Paige gear was looking at Paige's Instagram on his phone.

http://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/2xj8uo/i_took_lsd_and_went_to_the_wwe_live_event_at/

 

[Damon_3388]

They just showed him live on UFc, hes coming back baby!

I suppose Mickey Rourke is going to fight in the UFC too, because they showed him in the audience on the telecast?

(He's actually good friends with Jake Ellenberger).

 

[JordanWCE]

Can't wait for Mandy Moore to step in the octagon.

 

[Lensen]

Can't wait for Mandy Moore to step in the octagon.

17 year old me would've given everything in the world to have her put me in a rear naked choke

 

[Filthy Sanchez]

I rarely see people wearing WWE shirts but when they do it's usually this one:

This is my favourite wrestling shirt and I wish I'd bought one myself. And as you say from time to time I've seen people wear it. I think the thing that makes it so popular is that it's a well known wrestling shirt and symbol without looking like it has anything to do with wrestling.

 

[cheesedogg]

You can't get them any more can you?

Recently got the 'I'm a Paul Heyman guy' shirt. That & the white Punk one are the only 2 Id ever consider wearing in public I reckon

 

[gaskin]

You can't get them any more can you?

Recently got the 'I'm a Paul Heyman guy' shirt. That & the white Punk one are the only 2 Id ever consider wearing in public I reckon

I'd wear the Sami Zayn 'INZAYN' shirt in public.

 

[NSWCROW]

sin cara penis shirt

 

[Maxwell110]

http://wrestlingnews.co/more-on-bro...ted-argument-lesnars-status-for-wrestlemania/

 

[StevenwellerHFC]

I don't really care what Brock does after WM31, as long as Reigns is WWEWHC.

 

[pantskyle]

With Lesnar being shitty though it will lead to a crap match like the Goldberg v Lesnar match when both were leaving straight after.

 

[E92_]

With Lesnar being shitty though it will lead to a crap match like the Goldberg v Lesnar match when both were leaving straight after.

I think it's going to be a pretty sloppy match, I hope the crowd s**t on it or massively side with Brock.

 

[Quivorir]

It may shock you, but I'll be supporting Brock.

 

[E92_]

It may shock you, but I'll be supporting Brock.

 

[Baird]

It'll be a MOTYC.

 

[pantskyle]

I'll actually be supporting Brock as well, well supporting the Rollins cash in.

 

[Zach Package]

I lo've Brock but I'll be supporting a Rollins cash in too.

Reigns is improving (thank god for that) but he just does absolutely nothing for me

 

[Bomberboyokay]

I don't hate Lesnar but I wouldn't mind if he leaves. Way over the part time TV presence.

On the flipside if it comes out he's gone it'll be a very predictable main event.

 

[Filthy Sanchez]

It'll be nice to have the WWE title defended monthly again

 

[E92_]

I don't hate Lesnar but I wouldn't mind if he leaves. Way over the part time TV presence.

On the flipside if it comes out he's gone it'll be a very predictable main event.

If he's leaving I hope he wins and they do a Rollins cash in.

 

[Quivorir]

No way, he has to take the belt to UFC and drop it in the bin.

 

[Bomberboyokay]

The n00dz scandal has torpedoed that option.

 

[pantskyle]

The n00dz scandal has torpedoed that option.

It really hasn't.

I'd be very surprised if Rollins isn't champ come end of Wrestlemania.

 

[E92_]

It really hasn't.

I'd be very surprised if Rollins isn't champ come end of Wrestlemania.

*or Raw after.