Family & Relationships No christmas

[Jesse Custer]

Hey guys, wouldn't mind your opinions on this.

For the last 15 years or so i have felt nothing at christmas. You know the family thing, presents and all that. My family has always had fights, siblings living on the other side of the world. Again another christmas comes around and i feel nothing. I don't even want to go to the family get together. (whatever is left that is).

This year, i have bought no one including my partner presents. I feel if i don't feel anything then why should i buy anyone something. No one ever buys me anything anyway. Am i being selfish? Should i seek help?

I don't care for myself, i just don't want to ruin my partners christmas all the time.

 

[Ben the Gooner]

When you say your family has fights, do you mean your side or your partner's side?

If it's your side, then spend Christmas with your partner's side of the family and avoid the fights.

I guess it depends on what your partner's thoughts on Christmas are.

 

[Caesar]

I had this discussion with my girlfriend the other day, actually.

I feel similar to you. Christmas has always been one of those things that you do 'just because' in our family - everyone except my dad kind of dislikes it, and it's always been a bit of a strain to try and get through the day without major fights and ensure everyone has a 'happy day'. But it really bothers her. I think the issue is that although I see myself as kind of ambivalent to the whole thing, because it's sort of a mainstream thing by opting out she sees it as being actively anti-Christmas.

She doesn't want me to give her stuff, but her giving me something makes her happy and part of her happiness involves me enjoying myself as well. Grinching all over it is kind of a buzzkill. So I am sort of participating in a low-key way, for the sake of her and to a lesser extent my family. Although I can take it or leave it personally, I don't really want to be "that guy who hates Christmas" and bringing everyone around me down.

 

[Leon]

I completely agree with the OP.

I really avidly dislike Christmas for these reasons:

- Don't believe in it/have no time for what it supposedly meant to be about. Have a strong dislike of the Catholic Church and the crap they sprout.

- Expensive. I have a good job and have enough dough basically to pay rent, go out with mates/girlfriend and generally have a good time. It's annoying having to scrape cash together for relatives I either don't care for or rarely even see.

- The fakeness of it all. I'm sorry, but the whole cheery singing christmas carols/santa claus thing that one side of my family insists on doing is just not for me.

- Family (at least some of the distant ones), "because its Christmas!" I have to pretend I like certain people? Pfft


I haven't been to Christmas at my mum's family for ages because of the reasons above.

Essentially we go to my family and the girlfriend's family for lunch/tea, don't give presents and don't receive any, and that is it.

Christmas is now much more tolerable. I still hate it, mind.

 

[raskolnikov]

I feel the same. Christmas does nothing for me. Most Christmases for me have involved in-fighting in the family(mostly between my sister and her now ex - including him laying down behind the car so I couldn't drive my sister home) or my myriads of nephews and nieces being selfish prigs. Plus the fact that most of my family live in Queensland now and I have to fork out $500 or so every Christmas for airfares plus put my dogs in kennels and they never offer to help pay for my flights but they expect me to be there, with presents for each and every nephew and niece.

As Scrooge said, "Christmas - Bah, Humbug".

 

[Bert1]

Christmas is now based entirely on money, which is the root of all evil. Therfore Christmas=Evil

But seriously though Ceturion, if your partner has feelings about or fond memories of Christmas maybe still get her a gift just for her sake and as BTG said, just spend the day with her family. If half of your aren't around anyway, won't to bad if you aren't there either.

Maybe even your absense and the fact the family numbers at the Xmas do get lower each year might make the culprits of the fight starting realising what reaction these actions are causing and seek to inprove the family relationships.

 

[Kid Presentable]

Last year was my first and last attempt at no christmas. Sure I did buy a gift for my missus (who was away with family getting our wedding prepped), talked to the family over the phone, but not being around family or people I love on a day when I was usually flocked did not seem right...

Xmas for me is more about boozing up with family and having a nice time for people to relax. **** presents and cashed up sales.

 

[Lazarus]

Don't celebrate Christmas either.

 

[Messenger]

On my side of the family Christmas is just a rare lunch together, a couple of presents for my son but the adults no longer exchange gifts.

On my wife's side it is a much bigger deal, but aimed at the kids. But after watching my son receive a pile of presents he literally couldn't jump over for two years running, I've asked for some moderation.

It's a bad time of year and I find the lead up brings out the worst in many.

Happy Festivus anyway.

 

[Doctor Feel]

I'm 22 and really couldn't care less. I havent celebrated it for around 3 years.

 

[Doctor Feel]

On my side of the family Christmas is just a rare lunch together, a couple of presents for my son but the adults no longer exchange gifts.

On my wife's side it is a much bigger deal, but aimed at the kids. But after watching my son receive a pile of presents he literally couldn't jump over for two years running, I've asked for some moderation.

It's a bad time of year and I find the lead up brings out the worst in many.

Happy Festivus anyway.

This!

I'm working at dick smiths at the moment full time while Uni is off. People are so snappy, loathed to be handing over more money, flustered, rushed and so over the entire thing that it brings into question why we even do this to ourselves.

 

[deeman12]

Looks like a few of us here need to put the Christ back into Christmas.

It's always been a religious day for myself and my family and it's always been observed as such.​

 

[Caesar]

The religious aspect is good for those who believe in that stuff. For others it's a bit harder to define. So you wind up with this sort of amorphus day which is half centred around the fuzzy idea that everybody should enjoy spending time with family, and half centred around consumerism. Not a good mix if your family doesn't get along.

Personally I think there's too much "shoulding" involved with Christmas all round. If more people defined it by doing what they actually want to do, then more people would enjoy it. You don't see people dreading Australia Day get-togethers... Christmas is kind of unique like that and IMO it's BECAUSE it's all about preconceived ideas that everybody feels they have to live up to.

/rant

 

[Bert1]

Looks like a few of us here need to put the Christ back into Christmas.

It's always been a religious day for myself and my family and it's always been observed as such.​

Nothing about Christmas and Easter in God's word, the Bible my friend.

In fact if you go by the Bible it's more likely that Jesus was birth took place in like September

The Christmas holiday is a pagan one that the Catholics tried to make a Christian one.

 

[AG]

Novelty wore off after after I left school.

 

[deeman12]

Nothing about Christmas and Easter in God's word, the Bible my friend.

In fact if you go by the Bible it's more likely that Jesus was birth took place in like September

The Christmas holiday is a pagan one that the Catholics tried to make a Christian one.

You mean solstice? I follow the Orthodox tradition in any case. But my point remains. The secular Christmas customs and festivities stink. Based on the responses here, most people would tend to agree.

 

[Jesse Custer]

Thanks for your reply guys.

Spending time with her family is all good, but the problem is that i feel depressed when im with her family because everything is fine in her family. I start thinking about my family and it all goes down the gurgler.

I guess i have to keep acting. Pity im not in hollywood earning millions.

 

[Plugger35]

Prefer Boxing Day to Christmas Day.

Boxing Day you can just chill out and watch the cricket, plus shops and stuff are open. Christmas Day is a pain in the arse, just want the day to be over as soon as possible.

 

[BandF]

Xmas is just about the Kids for me, small family get together for the kids & there gifts from Santa. Otherwise it is just another day to get pissed. Religious rubbish has never meant anything to me & for years I have just looked forward to the time off work & laying on the couch in the air con sorting out a hangover watching the boxing day test.

 

[BarneyBent]

I've been completely over it for the last couple of years. Nice to give a few gifts, nice to get a few gifts, and always nice to stuff yourself, but we've had a massive family falling out between two of my Mum's siblings and their children (my aunts and cousins, in other words). Happened about 4 years ago on Christmas day, and they are still at each other. Also, just the effort, expense, worry, it's just meh.

Having said that, for some reason I've been more keen for Christmas this year. Maybe it's the fact that I've finally made that transition from "kid" to "adult" in the family setup (I'm 20, turning 21 early next year), rather than that murky middle-ground. I can drink and get drunk with my parents and other older relatives and feel comfortable doing it. I have actually contributed to the organisation a bit. Maybe once you grow up you get out what you put in, I don't know.

Who knows, maybe by the time Christmas rolls around there will be another family fight, I'll be stressed, the booze will run out and I'll get shitty presents, and I'll be over it again. I'll update on Boxing Day (probably at lunch of the cricket ).

 

[Byron_Clanger]

Novelty wore off after after I left school.

This, but I kind of have to get back into it since I have younger cousins, but I love the family get togethers and I never ask for presents

 

[WeetBixKid]

Haven't felt any excitement or even had the motivation to put up a tree since I was 16/17. I think it's pretty normal when you're a childless adult with no younger siblings/cousins etc. Only time I can see myself getting into Christmas would be for kids, because I do remember how awesome it is as a 10 year old. For the non Christian it's really just a fun day for kids as far as I'm concerned.

 

[Messenger]

Only time I can see myself getting into Christmas would be for kids, because I do remember how awesome it is as a 10 year old.

Seven years ago our Christmases were sitting around eating, fairly boring. This Christmas we will have nine kids running around. The day is for them.

 

[Power King]

I really enjoy not only Christmas but Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. It's the feeling of the occasion, although this obviously differs for different people and families. I love being with my extended family and gathering around a feast. It helps that we are a family that is close-knit. I also like mass. Presents has never been a focus in our Christmas' either (unless you haven't gone through puberty, luckily we don't have many people this age anymore in our family), which is great because I don't care for presents. Hearing about workmates only talk about the presents side of things is the only thing that annoys me about Christmas as I can't stand how it has distracted from its meaning. I won't deny though that I don't mind receiving cheap presents.

Most people would be disappointed with receiving a pair of socks for example, but the surprise of receiving anything makes me feel grateful for whatever I do happen to receive, socks included. If you truly don't expect anything or care if you don't get anything, you really do enjoy whatever you get that much more. A bit like a 1/10 copping a root I suppose. You appreciate it that much more, even though other people wouldn't take much value in it.

 

[cammania]

Agree with some posts here
-More for the kids now
-To many people getting greedy and wanting too much an dgetting too much.
-Its a day to get together with family. is all good and well. But i am not a fan of the modern Christmas so to speak. In a more simpler times it would have been the one time of the year a family as a whole get together. Nowadays, its seperated mums and dads having dinners and lunches and mass trasporting and other relatives cracking the shits cos you dont go to thiers.
-Outlook obviously changes from adult to kid. I like to get a gift or three, but i work within my boundaries. Like this year, dad told me he had X amount to spend on us as he had to have an operation a few weeks back so money was tight. thats fine. i dont need thousands spent on me. But it seems some do and still arent happy.
-spose some of the joys will come back when im a father and have kids, and my parents would enjoy seeing my kids etc etc be happy.

Wanna talk about over rated events. Have a look at new years.