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Exercise gives a boost to dopamine. Heres the thing. The more you limit or eliminate high dopamine hits the more impact from exercise. Im seeing this now
Wants and fears are natural feelings. Just don’t dwell too much on them. Dwelling will not alter the state of life flow coming your way.In the last 3 weeks I've started something new. No social media, for 5 weeks (Facebook, Insta etc. Bigfooty is my channel. It's far less toxic, except when debating the rolling AA team, i've been off high level dopamine hits. I've started eating healthy, lost 4kg already, hit the gym daily. Meditation, I'm keeping a spreadsheet of all of my metrics from happiness, contentment, frustration, mood.........
It's taken 3 weeks to notice some results but every metric is off the charts although night shift has been all over the shop, but the gym is absolutely crucial. I'm now feeling better on night shift than I was previously on day shift. my mood and focus is like never before. The crazy thing about Social media is that the algorithm is super aware of what we're doing, and it knows I'm stepping back. I talked to someone at work the other night for the first time in a year, and they came up as an alert on Instagram for a post the next day of which has never happened before.
Here's what I think:
Continual happiness is not achievable. Since I've been measuring it and taking note of those moments, on a very good day, I've seen a dozen raw, organic happy moments usually when socializing. At work, it's barely 3-4 on a shift. The thing is, I don't think it's healthy to strive for that continual happiness, but rather contentment, which I'm measuring. I'm driving home from the city the other day and I'm just chilled, no music, just calm and content. Neither happy, nor sad and that's where I think it's at.
In terms of unhappiness I think it stems largely from WANT and DESIRE and from unfulfilled expectations. If I'm thinking about my investments and wanting them to go up so I can get my 4wd and caravan, and house and set myself up so I can do the things I want to do in life it can easily lead to unhappiness if I dwell on it. The same goes for romantic interest. I've had some of the most painfully lonely moments of recent times because I've been so hung up on someone that there were days where it was literally all I thought about. I think there's some power in being content, and living in the moment rather than investing so much time into the things we desire so strongly.
At least that's how I see it, and it seems to be helping me mentally in this last month.
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Beyond Blue - 1300 22 4636
Lifeline - 13 11 14
More than 3 million Australians suffer from depression and anxiety.
Everyone at BigFooty strongly urge people in this situation to seek the assistance of friends, family or the dedicated staff at several organisations who are more than willing to listen.
You can call either Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline on 13 11 14 at any time.
If you would like more information please visit www.beyondblue.org.au or www.lifeline.org.au.
Theres an apropriate discussion thread on the subject here or If you'd like to know more, below is an interview that 76woodenspooners did with Beyond Blue back in 2013.
Mental Health resources:
Thanks to Proper Gander
Beyond Blue – call 1 300 22 4636
OR use this form to make contact by email at https://online.beyondblue.org.au/WebModules/Email/InitialInformation.aspx
AND for general information about Beyond Blue, depression, anxiety and related issues go to the Beyond Blue website at:
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/
Lifeline – call 13 11 14
OR use the online chat service at https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/online-services/crisis-chat (between the hours of 7PM and 4AM EST)
AND for general information about Lifeline, and tools and resources for managing stress, depression anxiety and related issues go to the Lifeline website at:
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Kids Helpline
Phone: 1800 55 1800
Email: counsellor@kidshelpline.com.au
Web chat: https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens/get-help/webchat-counselling/
Other telephone resources to consider are:
Suicide call Back Service – 1 300 659 467 and
Mensline Australia – 1 300 789 978
Further:
Another useful resource to explore is mindhealthconnect – which is an Australian Government supported information and support network which can help guide you to the specific resources, information and assistance for your needs.
Find mindhealthconnect at http://www.mindhealthconnect.org.au/
EMERGENCY / CRISIS CONTACTS by State and Territory
These numbers above are important for anybody who is experiencing a mental health crisis or caring for someone experiencing a mental health crisis. This could include the emergence, or flare-up, of a psychotic episode, or risk of self-harm, or suicidal feelings or loss of control.
- ACT - 1800 629 354 FREE– Mental Health Triage Service
- NSW - 1800 011 511 FREE – Mental Health Line
- NT - 08 8999 4988 – Top End Mental Health Service
- QLD - 13 43 25 84 – 13 HEALTH
- SA - 13 14 65 – Mental Health Assessment and Crisis Intervention Service
- TAS - 1800 332 388 FREE – Mental Health Services Helpline
- VIC - 1300 651 251 – Suicide Help Line
- WA - 1800 676 822 FREE – Mental Health Emergency Response Line
The State or Territory crisis line will provide expert support, and help work out with you what services can best help. This could be your own doctor, or if required presenting at a community health service or a hospital emergency department. In some cases, a Crisis Assessment and Treatment Team (CATT Team) may be sent to wherever you or the affected person is located at the time.
YOU CAN ALSO ACCESS EMERGENCY SUPPORT FOR A MENTAL HEALTH EPISODE BY CALLING 000 AT ANY TIME
ALCOHOL and DRUG Addiction
There are numerous support services and networks available. The best place to go as a first stop is the Australian Drug Information Network (ADIN) at http://www.adin.com.au/
Amongst other things, ADIN has a large support services directory where you can search for help and support for particular issues by location.
If you would like to talk to someone at once, contact Counselling ONLINE – an Australian Government funded program operated by Turning Point. Amongst other things, Counselling ONLINE offers online one on one counselling as well as forum discussion and assistance. The website can be found at https://www.counsellingonline.org.au/
OR BY PHONE…
If your preference is to speak to someone by phone, you can contact a 24 hour Alcohol and Drug information services in your state:
ACT (02) 6207 9977
NSW 1800 422 599 (regional) or (02) 9361 8000 (metropolitan)
NT 1800 131 350
QLD 1800 177 833 (regional) or (07) 3837 5989 (metropolitan)
SA 1300 131 340
TAS 1800 811 994
VIC 1800 888 236
WA 1800 198 024 (regional) or (08) 9442 5000 (metropolitan)
Gambling Support
There are numerous support services and networks available specific to issues related to gambling. The best starting point online is Gambling Help Online at https://www.gamblinghelponline.org.au/ which provides information, online support and assistance.
To speak to someone about gambling issues, call 1800 858 858
Rental/Tenants Help and Support
Victoria Legal Aid:
Provides free legal advice and services. Some services are available to everyone, while other services are only for eligible people.
For help or more information:
- Ph: 1300 792 387. Hours: Monday to Friday, 8.45 am to 5.15 pm.
- See Victoria Legal Aid's website.
Tenants Victoria:
COVID-19 information
www.tenantsvic.org.au
Tenants Victoria aims to inform and educate tenants about their rights, improve conditions for tenants, improve the status of tenants and represent the collective interests of tenants in law and policy making.
Anika Legal
Free help with rent reduction:
All of the above resources are free and confidential
Hey mate, that sucks that you're feeling this way. It probably doesn't mean much, but I'd like to acknowledge you for being a good and decent person. Sure, you've made mistakes - we all have, plenty of them. You're doing your best to take care of people who need it. That is not a bad thing. I believe you will eventually be rewarded for your efforts and you'll find people, and that special person, who gives you what you're missing at the moment. Chin up, mate.
had the best vocals. His voice was heavenly
What the heck man. Why on earth wouldn't he take his boys with him. That is inexplicable. It's not like they're toddler age.
Fair enough. I don't get that at all, though. As someone who never had the chance to be a father...I find that all baffling. It's like mums that moan about how annoying their kids are, it really grinds my gears to hear it.
Grinds my gears too. I've got a young daughter and honestly, it's my most treasured time. I try to spend as much time with her as I can. We have a ball together and I'm treasuring every moment before she grows up and goes out on her own. I had an absent father who never gave a crap and I know what that can do to a young mind. I didn't think parenthood was on the cards for me, but lo and behold, in my 40's my life took a sharp left and things changed. Best thing that ever happened to me. It baffles me why people have kids and then try to palm them off every chance they get.
Yup that's another one that I don't get. My father and I butted heads a lot, and to be honest still do to an extent, but he was thankfully always there. His own father was awful. I never understood that. My mum's father is brilliant and my mum's parents were the best role models I've ever had. The best people I've ever met.
Thank-you mate, I wish that for you too. Believe it or not, I think for guys like you and me, the golden period is a little later in life. For people who have been on a bit of a journey, been single for a long time (I spent most of my 30s on my own), there is a fair bit going on in that time which has the effect of refining what we value, what we prioritise, what has meaning - and stripping away the crap and doing the work on yourself. This means that in your 40s, you are more primed to get what you want in life because you're more aware and you're more capable. A lot of people who get things earlier in life foreclose on their personal development to a degree and end up living life in a programmatic sort of way. This is why so many relationships fail, career crises happen, mid-life crises happen. You might find that a lot of women who have had longterm relationships that failed are suddenly coming back on the market with very different ideas on what makes a good partner than they used to have. As somebody who is more caring and considerate, as I can tell you are, you will be very much in demand. So, my guess is that you will have more options in the future than you have ever had. So, don't give up - better times ahead!
That's tough, mate. Try to remember to prioritise your health. You can't rescue another person by letting your own health suffer. You need to remain as strong as you can be in order to be of any use to her, and you will have more resilience in supporting her the more healthy you are. You can also serve as an example to her of staying focussed on well-being and not giving up.
