Mod. Notice Depressed? Anxious? Call Beyond Blue (1300 224636), Lifeline (131114), resources in OP

[Truetiger]

That's tough, mate. Try to remember to prioritise your health. You can't rescue another person by letting your own health suffer. You need to remain as strong as you can be in order to be of any use to her, and you will have more resilience in supporting her the more healthy you are. You can also serve as an example to her of staying focussed on well-being and not giving up.

You have your own respective challenges, like we all do - and we all have a responsibility to ourselves to be as well as we can be. If you feel she is self-indulgent in her state sometimes, you probably need to find a way to deliver that message to her somehow in a way she can handle. I know, easier said than done when dealing with depressed people. But I have found that usually there is a way to help people see when they are not doing all they can to pull themselves out of a bad state. The best way is if you can get them to think that they have realised this themselves rather than being lectured to about what they're doing wrong. At the very least, make a deal that you both need to take a walk together each day. A simple walk with a supportive person can start to shift things - partly because motion is necessary for health and well-being, and partly because it promotes conversation and builds the collaborative potential of the relationship in terms of tackling the problems. I don't know if this perspective helps - disregard it if it's not helpful, but maybe give it some thought. Best of luck, mate.

Thank you.

 

[The_Wookie]

This is a time of the year where people can get very down and depressed. If you need to talk, please use the resources in the OP of this thread, or post in this thread where we can see and respond.

Thanks again to everyone who has opened up or helped with advice in this thread. You are all legends.

 

[Hoop1888]

Second that The_Wookie

I've been talking to a therapist about possibly being ADHD/Autistic. Might as well write out the whole story:

This year, and the end of last year, have been a write off. I don't want to do anything, is the short version. But I feel heavily depressed and that blanket/cloud that feels trapped inside your brain has increased significantly. I think it's possible it's a delayed response from losing my brother in 2023, but it kind of does feel like it at times and at other times it doesn't.

Anyway, I contacted a therapist in October time, talked pretty much about my brother's passing and he asked me if I'd been assessed. Wasn't sure what he meant at first and asked for what? to which he replied being neurodivergent, which caused me to get a bit annoyed and ask what does that mean? Explained it away to me and I had told him that, since I've been seeing psychotherapists and psychologists/CBT, I had mentioned it a couple of time (I think I read something online about symptoms and it made me think, but that was the extent of it) and I mentioned it to them months, maybe a year later if I had ADHD. The shrink just looked at me and seemed to relay that I would be jumping around the room, talking at 100 miles an hour and he didn't see any traits of it in me, so I didn't push him on it, as I really didn't know much about it at the time. I asked a psychologist during a CBT session and they put it to me that everyone has a it of ADHD in them. Again, the F do I know if he's right or wrong. So that was my experience in the past looking at it possibly being a thing.

With the new therapist he, carefully I would add, said he would be surprised if I didn't have either or both ADHD/Autism. I had responded with what little I knew about either condition and he told me that there's so many more factors to it. Plus, there seems to be an issue where mental health professions are not qualified or aware of how to pick up symptoms, characteristics or traits, which I found a bit incredolous. My only sort of reluctance in getting the assessment is because it seems every 2nd person now has some sort of neuodivergent condition, but a lot of would make sense the more I read about it, which I'm mindful that I may not have either condition and it would 'explain some things' But it seems worth going ahead with and will do so some time next year.

 

[demondavey]

My mental health is at a big low, internally. Outwardly I appear fine bar some moments of struggle, but internally i am literally a ticking suicide bomb. The thing is, I just don’t care. I am not even unhappy, weird, right? But I’ve just come to the realisation that everything is pointless and we are all going to end up in the same void of nothing.

It’s a liberating feeling knowing you want to die but you can still achieve enjoyment in life, it’s just the pure fact that the whole notion of life is beyond meaning to me and we are on our way to self destruction as a race anyway.

I genuinely hope I gather the courage to end it next year. I’ll get the whole ‘be grateful, appreciate your health etc etc, stop being so self pitying’ but you know what? If you’ve got this in you and you reconcile it then there’s not much you can do nor you care to do. It’s not that I don’t appreciate life, it’s just that I know it’s a hiding to nothing and I couldn’t GAF about my future as we are all heading for the same chasm anyway.

There isn’t a higher power, there is nothing. I am actually looking forward to that void.

 

[Hoop1888]

My mental health is at a big low, internally. Outwardly I appear fine bar some moments of struggle, but internally i am literally a ticking suicide bomb. The thing is, I just don’t care. I am not even unhappy, weird, right? But I’ve just come to the realisation that everything is pointless and we are all going to end up in the same void of nothing.

It’s a liberating feeling knowing you want to die but you can still achieve enjoyment in life, it’s just the pure fact that the whole notion of life is beyond meaning to me and we are on our way to self destruction as a race anyway.

I genuinely hope I gather the courage to end it next year. I’ll get the whole ‘be grateful, appreciate your health etc etc, stop being so self pitying’ but you know what? If you’ve got this in you and you reconcile it then there’s not much you can do nor you care to do. It’s not that I don’t appreciate life, it’s just that I know it’s a hiding to nothing and I couldn’t GAF about my future as we are all heading for the same chasm anyway.

There isn’t a higher power, there is nothing. I am actually looking forward to that void.

I've been there in some form - get me off this planet, I don't want to live or die, people are self centered arseh*les who I can't be bothered sharing a room with, pretentiouness and other stuff that almost built up like mold in the brain, not just negative perceptions of people.

Any outlier reasons why you're thinking the way you are?

 

[demondavey]

I've been there in some form - get me off this planet, I don't want to live or die, people are self centered arseh*les who I can't be bothered sharing a room with, pretentiouness and other stuff that almost built up like mold in the brain, not just negative perceptions of people.

Any outlier reasons why you're thinking the way you are?

Definitely no outliers. Just realisation that everything we do for the majority as human beings is for gain, benefit to ourselves, self centred ideologies. It’s simply a sick and gross existence. Parasitic. Ironically we are destroying the planet yet that planet will end up adjusting in such a way as to hopefully rid us of existence. Are all people awful? No. It’s the capitalist grubs that consume and own and degrade. Unfortunately many of us have no choice but to succumb to those grubs; food, heat, shelter etc.

I just think what we stand for is hopeless. The sooner people realise that the better. It’s refreshing realise this and have the liberation and choice to end it. I think that’s the greatest freedom we have, to kill ourselves if we want.

 

[Proper Gander]

Definitely no outliers. Just realisation that everything we do for the majority as human beings is for gain, benefit to ourselves, self centred ideologies. It’s simply a sick and gross existence. Parasitic. Ironically we are destroying the planet yet that planet will end up adjusting in such a way as to hopefully rid us of existence. Are all people awful? No. It’s the capitalist grubs that consume and own and degrade. Unfortunately many of us have no choice but to succumb to those grubs; food, heat, shelter etc.

I just think what we stand for is hopeless. The sooner people realise that the better. It’s refreshing realise this and have the liberation and choice to end it. I think that’s the greatest freedom we have, to kill ourselves if we want.

I hope you don’t harm yourself. I understand how you are feeling. Being around for the journey might be the best anyone gets? One tiny little moment in one tiny point in time in a vast universe?

I like seeing you on BF and I would like always to do so.

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

My mental health is at a big low, internally. Outwardly I appear fine bar some moments of struggle, but internally i am literally a ticking suicide bomb. The thing is, I just don’t care. I am not even unhappy, weird, right? But I’ve just come to the realisation that everything is pointless and we are all going to end up in the same void of nothing.

It’s a liberating feeling knowing you want to die but you can still achieve enjoyment in life, it’s just the pure fact that the whole notion of life is beyond meaning to me and we are on our way to self destruction as a race anyway.

I genuinely hope I gather the courage to end it next year. I’ll get the whole ‘be grateful, appreciate your health etc etc, stop being so self pitying’ but you know what? If you’ve got this in you and you reconcile it then there’s not much you can do nor you care to do. It’s not that I don’t appreciate life, it’s just that I know it’s a hiding to nothing and I couldn’t GAF about my future as we are all heading for the same chasm anyway.

There isn’t a higher power, there is nothing. I am actually looking forward to that void.

“Stay in the game.” — Senator John Fetterman

 

[Mr Meow]

Definitely no outliers. Just realisation that everything we do for the majority as human beings is for gain, benefit to ourselves, self centred ideologies. It’s simply a sick and gross existence. Parasitic. Ironically we are destroying the planet yet that planet will end up adjusting in such a way as to hopefully rid us of existence. Are all people awful? No. It’s the capitalist grubs that consume and own and degrade. Unfortunately many of us have no choice but to succumb to those grubs; food, heat, shelter etc.

I just think what we stand for is hopeless. The sooner people realise that the better. It’s refreshing realise this and have the liberation and choice to end it. I think that’s the greatest freedom we have, to kill ourselves if we want.

I understand and relate to the nihilism and cynicism. If existence isn't painful though, why the need to expedite your journey into the inevitable void? To prove you have the freedom to do so? You know that you have that either way. Are you actively harming the planet and others in a meaningful way, that would not exist if you were dead? If not, what does the planet or anyone you know gain from you choosing to cut your journey short?

Just because we all die doesn't necessarily mean an express ticket out of here is a superior route. Life of all things simply is. Pointless or unfathomably wondrous, depending on your perspective. You're living it anyway. There doesn't have to be a fear of death, or belief in an afterlife, to simply stick things out in whatever way you find most meaning or comfortable (depending on your needs). I'm sure plenty of people enjoy interacting with you, and that things capture your interest from time to time.

PS this is not meant to come across as judgemental or hostile. Simply a different way of looking at things. I respect your right to feel how you feel, but there's always two sides to the coin.

 

[WillHayward]

Hope everyone in this thread is hanging in there.
Xmas brings up a lot of sadness and unhappiness.
Can be a shit time.

Sad news about Phoenix Spicer

 

[Ando727]

One thing that really annoys me is that the word suicide has been censored out of existence in Australia. How are we supposed to have a mature conversation about this very real contemplation that countless people are having if all we are allowed to say or read about it is, "Feeling blue? Struggling? Call LifeLine". I fail to see how this approach really stops anybody from self-harm. If anything, I think it marginalises people thinking about suicide even further than they already feel. Time to grow up and start using grown-up words.

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

One thing that really annoys me is that the word suicide has been censored out of existence in Australia. How are we supposed to have a mature conversation about this very real contemplation that countless people are having if all we are allowed to say or read about it is, "Feeling blue? Struggling? Call LifeLine". I fail to see how this approach really stops anybody from self-harm. If anything, I think it marginalises people thinking about suicide even further than they already feel. Time to grow up and start using grown-up words.

It’s really to not do anything that could be a trigger to others. Suicide has to be handled very carefully. Copycatting is a real thing.

 

[Ando727]

It’s really to not do anything that could be a trigger to others. Suicide has to be handled very carefully. Copycatting is a real thing.

I know that's the logic, but I've seen it go the other way too. People who feel like they aren't supposed to speak openly about their thoughts because some words are taboo. They can feel like they are supposed to understate what they are thinking. I literally found myself talking to some very desperate people who said the reason they left it so late to talk about it was because they felt like they weren't supposed to - that people don't want to hear the gory truth. They felt the mild suggestions to call Beyond Blue or Lifeline didn't speak to them. It's encountering this from real people that made me post what I did. I get it, it's a tough call - but I'm not convinced that censorship is the way to go.

 

[Proper Gander]

I know that's the logic, but I've seen it go the other way too. People who feel like they aren't supposed to speak openly about their thoughts because some words are taboo. They can feel like they are supposed to understate what they are thinking. I literally found myself talking to some very desperate people who said the reason they left it so late to talk about it was because they felt like they weren't supposed to - that people don't want to hear the gory truth. They felt the mild suggestions to call Beyond Blue or Lifeline didn't speak to them. It's encountering this from real people that made me post what I did. I get it, it's a tough call - but I'm not convinced that censorship is the way to go.

I agree. Whatever we are doing isn’t working so well. And it’s conflicting that the mental health media discussion promotes “time for a chat” but there is a point where the chat is cut off.

I can see both sides, but could it be that by making suicide a dirty word you might be isolating those at risk even further?

 

[Whats a Battle]

One thing that really annoys me is that the word suicide has been censored out of existence in Australia. How are we supposed to have a mature conversation about this very real contemplation that countless people are having if all we are allowed to say or read about it is, "Feeling blue? Struggling? Call LifeLine". I fail to see how this approach really stops anybody from self-harm. If anything, I think it marginalises people thinking about suicide even further than they already feel. Time to grow up and start using grown-up words.

Bang on. I feel strongly about this.

It's rather strange that in this supposedly modern and enlightened time we still talk about suicide in hushed tones and roundabout euphemisms.

 

[franko85]

Hoping everyone is doing ok. If anyone needs a chat, you can pm me anytime. Other than that, happy 2026 all