Media BREAKING NEWS from the Colosseum - Welcome Akkaps

[haydo]

I know who it is.

You dont know s**t Thrilla

So do I.

You don't know s**t, Crushie

 

[haydo]

That is the way of the Pennsylvania Valley Death Vipers, you know this.

Should have went with the Vipers name, it's just so much cooler

 

[NaturalDisaster]

You dont know sh*t Thrilla


You don't know sh*t, Crushie

I know

 

[Cadsky]

I know

I Know you're a dickhead

 

[BLUEALLTHRU]

I Know you're a dickhead

As if anyone doesn't.

 

[SSwans2011]

Geez, big things happening at The Colosseum. It'd be ******* exciting to play for the Wonders right now. Luckily, I do, and you can too! Just flick me a message if you would like to join the Wonders.

 

[haydo]

BREAKING NEWS

Akkaps joins the Wonders ​

League stalwart and club whore akkaps has agreed to sign a $7,000 multi year deal with the West Coast Wonders shortly after a heartbreak Grand Final loss to the Gold City Royals in the S30 premiership contest this afternoon. Experts say the akkaps deal had been signed and delivered weeks out before the Swamprats Grand Final loss and they would be correct in that prediction with the Wonders seeking out the veteran early in the season to come and sign for the struggling club, this comes on the back of last weeks signing of new co-captain and ex-Bomber Cadsky.

We caught up with the Swamprat earlier in the week and asked him why he chose the Wonders as his destination going forward.

LG- Welcome to the team. What took you so long to become a Wonder?

Akkaps - I remember when I first joined the league, I always saw the Wonders as the Collingwood of the SFA, a bit up themselves, But as the years have gone past, I can see that was the Golden Years of the Wonders, they actually had everything going for them.

LG - How many seasons do you think you'll last before chasing a spot in the one or two teams you are yet to play for?

Akkaps - I honestly don't know. I'll look at the club leadership and atmosphere; if it's something I want to be around longer I will make the Wonders my home for longer. It could be one season, it could be four. You never know, I may settle at the Wonders or come back to the Wonders after the tour is done.

LG - Which players are you most looking forward to playing with and what excites you about Season 31 as a Wonder?

Akkaps - Does Marklar_33 still play for the Wonders? I'll finally be able to see what all this fuss is about at the Wonders, and what ClarkeM has done to keep the club relevant.

LG - Parma or Parmy?

Akkaps - Parma with Napoli Sauce, mozzarella cheese. No Ham. And chips to the side.

LG - Who would have been your preference for admin in Season 31?

Akkaps - I'm assuming there's a 3 season cut off now, seeing boncer34 took his sweet and merry time in the position. Would love to see Mobbs as admin again, and see what he could league 30 seasons on. It was his brain child, and as long as he continues to stay an active member of the SFA, I would love to see him take some league leadership position.

LG - Who's the most entertaining players from the Games Nights on Discord?

Akkaps - There are heaps of things. Chipmunk's sexy British accent, porp_please_ya laughing at everything, I Dont Care hatred for anything that is not FNQ. I honestly think it's a great way to mingle with people every couple of weeks, and talk about whatever we want to talk about.

LG - Do you even know what our club colours are?

Akkaps - When I joined the league, I thought you were a West Coast Eagles "affiliate" with the colours and the name, and seeing the Furies, Gumbies, Hawks, Bombers, Roys, Demons all had colours matching their AFL counterpart. I'm assuming this came from eagleskickass when the Wonders took the West Coast name all those seasons ago

LG - You're well known for being a squib in Sweet FA Grand Finals; how do you think this will help the Wonders or is it redundant given we're usually packed up by then?

Akkaps - In the 15 seasons that I have played, I have made the Grand Final 6 times, that's a 40% hit rate. I think that's a lot better than the Wonders have been travelling over the past few seasons.

LG - Can you name three players not at the Wonders that you'd love to see come across this off-season with you? Please... we need more ideas for recruits...

Akkaps - Santoz, BLUEALLTHRU, Jobe3votes, and The Majestic

LG - Wise Guy Sam offered you a position at the Wonders when you first joined the league - would you like to say anything to him now that you've finally agreed to join the club you dislike the most?

Akkaps - I remember that conversation with Wise Guy Sam all those years ago, I went with boncer34 at the time. Though I wouldn't have had to wait 14 seasons for my first premiership. If I had gone with WGS's proposal at the time, I may have been a different poster, I may not be a "turncoat flog", but that's not something I can change now.


AKKAPS CAREER TO DATE

GAMES - 270
HITOUTS - 27
KICKS - 1,909
MARKS - 726
HANDBALLS - 1,817
DISPOSALS - 3,726
TACKLES - 413
FREES FOR - 209
FREES AGAINST - 233
GOALS - 177
BEHINDS - 131
DREAM TEAM - 13,921


Unfortunately we have no pics of Akkaps in a Wonders uniform as we've had to keep this one under wraps. Surely though with all these SFA photographers out there, someone can share a pic of Akkaps in a Wonders jumper within the next few days

 

[SSwans2011]

Based on what just happened in my pants, I can safely say that, contrary to popular belief, haydo's expansion bid was entirely successful.

 

[Barrybran]

AKKAPS CAREER TO DATE

GAMES - 270
HITOUTS - 27
KICKS - 1,909
MARKS - 726
HANDBALLS - 1,817
DISPOSALS - 3,726
TACKLES - 413
FREES FOR - 209
FREES AGAINST - 233
GOALS - 177
BEHINDS - 131
DREAM TEAM - 13,921

It's probably worth including the number of clubs akkaps has played in his stats for at this point

 

[Cadsky]

welcome to the Wonders akkaps looking forward to making many GF's with you on our side!

this is just the second of many great signings at the Wonders this off season!

 

[ClarkeM]

Welcome Akkaps!

 

[Cadsky]

It's probably worth including the number of clubs akkaps has played in his stats for at this point

sorry baz. the fact that he has never played for the Wonders actually makes that stat pointless

 

[Chipmunk]

I see he didn’t notice the ‘pa’ being removed from the contract last minute so it’s $7k over the whole contract. Well played Wonders lawyers.

 

[akkaps]

The move is now official

 

[haydo]

It's probably worth including the number of clubs akkaps has played in his stats for at this point

Probably easier to include the clubs that he HASN"T played for and think it's now 2

 

[akkaps]

It's probably worth including the number of clubs akkaps has played in his stats for at this point

9th club.
1 Premiership
5 GFs lost, all at different clubs

 

[Metalcrusher]

Droll. Feeble almost.

 

[haydo]

5 GFs lost

Why was this stat not mentioned in your interview?

 

[akkaps]

I see he didn’t notice the ‘pa’ being removed from the contract last minute so it’s $7k over the whole contract. Well played Wonders lawyers.

Who says I’ll be there for more than a year?

 

[akkaps]

Why was this stat not mentioned in your interview?

Because at the rate the Wonders are going at the moment, a finals spot is a massive improvement.

 

[Cadsky]

Because at the rate the Wonders are going at the moment, a finals spot is a massive improvement.

it seems luck is now on our side!

 

[Barrybran]

9th club.
1 Premiership
5 GFs lost, all at different clubs

If the Swamprats win a flag next season I know who to blame

 

[Metalcrusher]

Who says I’ll be there for more than a year?

Because at the rate the Wonders are going at the moment, a finals spot is a massive improvement.

That's commitment right there folks, absolute gun recruit .......

Well done #lolWonders

You never cease to amaze.

 

[Cadsky]

That's commitment right there folks, absolute gun recruit .......

Well done #lolWonders

You never cease to amaze.

you will be amazed when you see our next recruit

 

[Metalcrusher]

Found an appropriate song for you arsehats ...