Resource Depression/Anxiety the silent killers - everyday is RUOK day. #SpeakUpStayChatTy

[Themanbun]

Owing to an unusual situation at my work with a few colleagues, I pretty much had my first mental breakdown on the weekend. It certainly crept up on me and I thought I was dealing with it well, until I wasn't. Spoke to medical professionals who all said get in quick and fast with a few weeks off, and always take more than you think you need.

They said too many people pretend they're sick for one or two days, then throw the mask back on and in a few months time they have a full blown one.

While I'm feeling a bit better, I'm taking them up on that advice. Thought I'd pass it on here.

 

[Makeshift Park]

Owing to an unusual situation at my work with a few colleagues, I pretty much had my first mental breakdown on the weekend. It certainly crept up on me and I thought I was dealing with it well, until I wasn't. Spoke to medical professionals who all said get in quick and fast with a few weeks off, and always take more than you think you need.

They said too many people pretend they're sick for one or two days, then throw the mask back on and in a few months time they have a full blown one.

While I'm feeling a bit better, I'm taking them up on that advice. Thought I'd pass it on here.

Take care mate.

 

[gokangas]

Owing to an unusual situation at my work with a few colleagues, I pretty much had my first mental breakdown on the weekend. It certainly crept up on me and I thought I was dealing with it well, until I wasn't. Spoke to medical professionals who all said get in quick and fast with a few weeks off, and always take more than you think you need.

They said too many people pretend they're sick for one or two days, then throw the mask back on and in a few months time they have a full blown one.

While I'm feeling a bit better, I'm taking them up on that advice. Thought I'd pass it on here.

Good luck mate - take the professional advice.

 

[Hojuman]

Owing to an unusual situation at my work with a few colleagues, I pretty much had my first mental breakdown on the weekend. It certainly crept up on me and I thought I was dealing with it well, until I wasn't. Spoke to medical professionals who all said get in quick and fast with a few weeks off, and always take more than you think you need.

They said too many people pretend they're sick for one or two days, then throw the mask back on and in a few months time they have a full blown one.

While I'm feeling a bit better, I'm taking them up on that advice. Thought I'd pass it on here.

I had a great GP who did a mental health plan with me a few years ago. Best thing l could have done.

Get Well soon TMB
Keep posting too brother.

 

[Themanbun]

Thanks guys. Making some real progress this week.

 

[gokangas]

Thanks guys. Making some real progress this week.

Good news - hang tough.

 

[Hojuman]

Thanks guys. Making some real progress this week.

You'll get through TMB. It seems like you never will, but with the right support around you you'll get there. Be patient

 

[DarkPhoenix]

Had the absolute pleasure of listening to Mitch McPherson from Speak Up, Stay ChatTy talk at my work today.

I went to school with Mitch, he was always a really genuine, decent guy and have really appreciated the work he has done within the mental health field over the last decade.
I had never really heard the full story of what happened to him and his family, and his presentation was genuinely moving, tear jerking and informational.

I highly recommend that if you get a chance to attend one of his talks that you get along, especially if you're struggling yourself.

https://staychatty.com.au/

 

[Marstermind]

Mrs MM wants to 'separate' after 20 years. She concedes I haven't done anything wrong - I'm a good father and husband. We don't fight, we're good when we're together. She says she's just changed. I want to work on things, she doesn't. Work means she's away 3-4 nights a week anyway.

I have no friends - none close enough to really fall back on anyway. I sought professional help this year for low self-esteem. My only safe place has always been my marriage and kids and now that looks gone and I can't understand why.

I know that I'm a good man. I just don't get why no one else sees it.

 

[Twinkletoes]

Mrs MM wants to 'separate' after 20 years. She concedes I haven't done anything wrong - I'm a good father and husband. We don't fight, we're good when we're together. She says she's just changed. I want to work on things, she doesn't. Work means she's away 3-4 nights a week anyway.

I have no friends - none close enough to really fall back on anyway. I sought professional help this year for low self-esteem. My only safe place has always been my marriage and kids and now that looks gone and I can't understand why.

I know that I'm a good man. I just don't get why no one else sees it.

That sucks mate. Many of us have been through it, including me, but not after establishing a family and world you’d like to think is your safe haven for life. I truly hope she has a change of heart and opens herself to counselling and re-establishing the connection. I don’t understand the want to break that up. Never have. My ex wife travelled for work (no kids involved) and what began as the typical “absence makes the heart grow fonder” journey eventually saw her drift down the same path as your wife. In my case (in hindsight) it turned out she was whispering sweet nothings with her boss who she eventually had a year long affair with. Hopefully nothing of the sort in your case.

I’ve seen it with mates in recent years and said nothing. Mates who’ve left the wife and four kids, moved interstate, left bitterness and heartbreak in their wake etc. For what?

Anyway, all the best Mm. You’re a good bloke and great dad and I hope things work out. It seems you also internalise things (as do I) but I hope you can find someone to speak with on a personal front for your own sake at the very least.

 

[Makeshift Park]

Mrs MM wants to 'separate' after 20 years. She concedes I haven't done anything wrong - I'm a good father and husband. We don't fight, we're good when we're together. She says she's just changed. I want to work on things, she doesn't. Work means she's away 3-4 nights a week anyway.

I have no friends - none close enough to really fall back on anyway. I sought professional help this year for low self-esteem. My only safe place has always been my marriage and kids and now that looks gone and I can't understand why.

I know that I'm a good man. I just don't get why no one else sees it.

Aw mate, I'm sorry. I hope its just a short passing phase for her.

 

[Hojuman]

Mrs MM wants to 'separate' after 20 years. She concedes I haven't done anything wrong - I'm a good father and husband. We don't fight, we're good when we're together. She says she's just changed. I want to work on things, she doesn't. Work means she's away 3-4 nights a week anyway.

I have no friends - none close enough to really fall back on anyway. I sought professional help this year for low self-esteem. My only safe place has always been my marriage and kids and now that looks gone and I can't understand why.

I know that I'm a good man. I just don't get why no one else sees it.

Been down the same route MM after 23 years with marriage one. Always a shock when it happens and a HUGE hurdle to jump. I was left very financially bereft and spent 2 years practising covid lockdown from 2010 - 12 to get back on my feet.
Hopefully you got family around you and people who have experienced the same. Never forget, you're not alone and you are a VALUABLE RESOURCE to us in here.
You'll look back one day and wonder how you got through, but you will.
If you got access to professionals make sure you use them. Open up, be honest.
We will be here to catch you when you need

 

[Themanbun]

I keep getting kicked in the nuts at work and it's fkd. Got over my mental breakdown after seeing a psychologist, moved areas, only to be presented with a possibly worse set of circumstances.

Not as big as some of the other issues people have going on but spending 9-10 hours a day in extreme stress is killing me.

 

[Hojuman]

I keep getting kicked in the nuts at work and it's fkd. Got over my mental breakdown after seeing a psychologist, moved areas, only to be presented with a possibly worse set of circumstances.

Not as big as some of the other issues people have going on but spending 9-10 hours a day in extreme stress is killing me.

Can you take more time out TMB ?

 

[Themanbun]

Can you take more time out TMB ?

Out of sick leave mate! COVID and my issues in November took care of that unfortunately.

 

[Hojuman]

Out of sick leave mate! COVID and my issues in November took care of that unfortunately.

Good G.P. should take care of sick leave. Work Cover ?

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Time to check into this thread to see how everyone is doing.

If anyone is struggling atm and feels open to chatting, then please let me know. Even if it’s just to talk any old rubbish.

 

[Jonnoo]

Have just seen this thread, hope everyone is doing ok.

I had some tough times in 2021, extreme stress at work and some family issues and 24/7 worry. Lockdowns didn’t help.

Blood pressure was through the roof. GP said that if I kept it up I could drop dead at my desk. His strong advice was to leave the job, which I did (resigned the next day) and looking back now, 3 yrs later I’m so glad I did. Absolute right decision.

Other issues were also resolved and can prob be traced to the work stress affecting so many areas of my life.

It’s nothing compared to others struggles, but the take away is definitely to look after yourself and make decisions that support that.

 

[HELLSBELLS]

Have just seen this thread, hope everyone is doing ok.

I had some tough times in 2021, extreme stress at work and some family issues and 24/7 worry. Lockdowns didn’t help.

Blood pressure was through the roof. GP said that if I kept it up I could drop dead at my desk. His strong advice was to leave the job, which I did (resigned the next day) and looking back now, 3 yrs later I’m so glad I did. Absolute right decision.

Other issues were also resolved and can prob be traced to the work stress affecting so many areas of my life.

It’s nothing compared to others struggles, but the take away is definitely to look after yourself and make decisions that support that.

Im a bit stuck in the same spot with my work again.
Makes me feel physically sick to go and I just hate it.
I can feel myself changing with every day I have to go.

Problem is financially I can’t leave or we are screwed.
Other issue is being a big bloke it’s hard to get a chance anywhere.
I have had plenty of interviews but never get the job even though despite my size I can work as well as anyone, pick things up quick especially any computer programs or freight programs have excellent customer service as well ect ect.
Proof is 17 years and at one jobs and 6 at this one. If I was no good I wouldn’t hold a job that long. But all bosses see is a fat bloke and instantly think no good.
(I have dropped 40kgs so far as I embark on that journey)

So for now it’s keep working and hate it or leave be maybe happier but then also maybe not really because then financially we are screwed.

Take me back to being a kid.

Adulting sucks.

 

[rickety]

Have just seen this thread, hope everyone is doing ok.

I had some tough times in 2021, extreme stress at work and some family issues and 24/7 worry. Lockdowns didn’t help.

Blood pressure was through the roof. GP said that if I kept it up I could drop dead at my desk. His strong advice was to leave the job, which I did (resigned the next day) and looking back now, 3 yrs later I’m so glad I did. Absolute right decision.

Other issues were also resolved and can prob be traced to the work stress affecting so many areas of my life.

It’s nothing compared to others struggles, but the take away is definitely to look after yourself and make decisions that support that.

Mate well bloody done, I absolutely love this! I told a mate years ago to pack his job in and it took a complete breakdown for him to see I was right. Nearly lost it all, and for a materialistic guy/family, that would have been devastating. He is now back on track, new job for the last 18 months, not quite happy days, but a lot better than where he was at. Well done again mate, you can join ferball and I for a beer 1 day - my hook

 

[rickety]

Im a bit stuck in the same spot with my work again.
Makes me feel physically sick to go and I just hate it.
I can feel myself changing with every day I have to go.

Problem is financially I can’t leave or we are screwed.
Other issue is being a big bloke it’s hard to get a chance anywhere.
I have had plenty of interviews but never get the job even though despite my size I can work as well as anyone, pick things up quick especially any computer programs or freight programs have excellent customer service as well ect ect.
Proof is 17 years and at one jobs and 6 at this one. If I was no good I wouldn’t hold a job that long. But all bosses see is a fat bloke and instantly think no good.
(I have dropped 40kgs so far as I embark on that journey)

So for now it’s keep working and hate it or leave be maybe happier but then also maybe not really because then financially we are screwed.

Take me back to being a kid.

Adulting sucks.

Adulting is the biggest scam ever - they, whoever they are, promise so much when you're at school, and then when you're out enjoying the life of being in your 20's and being footloose and fancy free, you're an adult and we'll tax you, fine you, lump a f@ck load of expectations and demands on you, and the list just grows and grows. Then it rains and your footy team gets rolled. Bollocks!

But, bloody well done on shedding 40kg - that there is a very solid achievement in itself.
I hope you win the lottery .... not tonight because I'm gonna, but maybe next week.
Chin up mate, you'll be right. There's a good fight in you if you can now dance lighter on your feet!

 

[Jonnoo]

Im a bit stuck in the same spot with my work again.
Makes me feel physically sick to go and I just hate it.
I can feel myself changing with every day I have to go.

Problem is financially I can’t leave or we are screwed.
Other issue is being a big bloke it’s hard to get a chance anywhere.
I have had plenty of interviews but never get the job even though despite my size I can work as well as anyone, pick things up quick especially any computer programs or freight programs have excellent customer service as well ect ect.
Proof is 17 years and at one jobs and 6 at this one. If I was no good I wouldn’t hold a job that long. But all bosses see is a fat bloke and instantly think no good.
(I have dropped 40kgs so far as I embark on that journey)

So for now it’s keep working and hate it or leave be maybe happier but then also maybe not really because then financially we are screwed.

Take me back to being a kid.

Adulting sucks.

Well done on the 40kg mate, that’s super impressive. You may already be seeing a GP, but if not, try to see a good one and get your health checks done. Both physical and mental. They can help on both fronts.

You aren’t going to be any use to your family if your health tanks, esp due to a job. Keep working on yourself mate and keep your options open! A new job can be a major blessing.

rickety cheers mate, I’d be happy to be the one buying!

 

[Themanbun]

I keep getting kicked in the nuts at work and it's fkd. Got over my mental breakdown after seeing a psychologist, moved areas, only to be presented with a possibly worse set of circumstances.

Not as big as some of the other issues people have going on but spending 9-10 hours a day in extreme stress is killing me.

It got better for a bit, but now here we go again.

At the very least I have the tools to deal with it now.

 

[Gasometer]

Im a bit stuck in the same spot with my work again.
Makes me feel physically sick to go and I just hate it.
I can feel myself changing with every day I have to go.

Problem is financially I can’t leave or we are screwed.
Other issue is being a big bloke it’s hard to get a chance anywhere.
I have had plenty of interviews but never get the job even though despite my size I can work as well as anyone, pick things up quick especially any computer programs or freight programs have excellent customer service as well ect ect.
Proof is 17 years and at one jobs and 6 at this one. If I was no good I wouldn’t hold a job that long. But all bosses see is a fat bloke and instantly think no good.
(I have dropped 40kgs so far as I embark on that journey)

So for now it’s keep working and hate it or leave be maybe happier but then also maybe not really because then financially we are screwed.

Take me back to being a kid.

Adulting sucks.

Just putting a thought out there HB (I feel like I’ve known you so long) if you are thinking of a life change Regional Vic is screaming out for IT workers. Cheaper homes ($500,000 gets you a 3 bedroom home with 600 getting you 4 bedroom PLUS a decent size yard) minimal traffic hassles and all the good stuff country life brings…Ballarat, Bendigo, here etc

Anyway as they don’t say in the classics, keep on Pepsi Maxxing

 

[Hojuman]

It got better for a bit, but now here we go again.

At the very least I have the tools to deal with it now.

Any options open to you TMB ?