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Do you ever really 'move on'?

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fairdinkum

Norm Smith Medallist
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Hello friends.

Today, after umpiring a game of footy (finals = double pay. Sexytaaaarme :thumbsu:) I was in the supermarket buying some snags for tonight.

Anyways, what song comes on as I walk into the shops? Cliff Richard's 'We Don't Talk Anymore'.

It is my ex-girlfriend's birthday today. Last year, when I was (looking back) very much still into her (even though I had moved interstate [partly to help me move on from her]) I made and sent her a personalised birthday card. This time round I didn't plan to even call or text her; certainly no hand-made birthday card this time round. Didn't see the point. I began to accept it was over ages ago.

But I heard this song and thought, you know what? I reckon I will always love her. Even if it is clearly over, we never talk, we live 1000 miles apart, we're both seeing other people now, etc. I don't reckon I will ever stop 'loving' her. She meant and means too much to me.

I want your thoughts, bigfooty.

Do you ever really 'move on' from a true love?

Posted while under the influence
 
You do. For sure. But I'm speaking with the benefit of putting sixteen years between me and a particularly tough break up.
 

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You find a reason to, but its very difficult to open yourself to someone and then forget about them.
 
I feel as though me commenting would be premature. I broke up with my girlfriend about four months ago, and you all know my age. I loved her and she was my best friend for half of the 26-odd months we had together. But, I dunno... I just got over her and the love I once felt has disappeared. There was some physical lingering for a while, but even that has passed.

So, yes, I have.
 
Having the mammoth experience of only two relationships that could be classified as 'serious' I'd say the answer is no at this point in my life.

The first one was the closest thing I've ever to 'love' in a romantic sense, but was completely polarising and highly volatile. During the relationship I'd either feel on top of the world, or hate life. It ended badly and the aftermath was definitely the toughest period in my relatively trouble-free life.

The second one was more recent and was definitely influenced by the first one. This girl was by all objective measures a 'better' girlfriend: smarter, happier and a generally nicer person. But I don't think I could commit to the relationship due to having remained pre-occupied with the girl from the previous relationship (even though they were quite a substantial period of time apart).

I still quite regularly think about the girl from the first relationship even though we have had little contact in recent times. The second girl (although I like her and want the best for her) l I don't really think about too much, even though I still have some limited contact with her through mutual friends etc.

/d&m with bigfooty.
 
I remember feeling exactly the same way: That I wouldn't get over it, just learn to live with it.
I was wrong.

Get on with your life and in a while you'll wonder why you felt this way.
Without wanting to sound patronising, the silver lining is that you know what it's like to have a broken heart. A life experience that makes one deeper, wiser and more understanding.

The other thing is that it's not a broken heart. It's your broken heart, an intensely personal experience. An alone feeling that no one else really understands (if you know what I mean). Probably as intense as falling in love.
 
I want your thoughts, bigfooty.

Do you ever really 'move on' from a true love?
I'd say a large part of that depends on whether you broke up with her or vice versa. If you broke up with her then you know on some level at least it's not going to work so time and distance will eventually heal the raw edges. If she broke up with you then I think there'd always be some small part that will think 'If only she hadn't' and what could have been.

So who broke up with who? (And no there is no such thing as a mutual break up someone always wants out more, so please don't say that).
 

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Yes.
Quite easily too.
You'll have many 'the ones'

Find a hot girl (work/uni/socially) download the song 'Closer' by 'Nine Inch Nails' and listen to it while thinking about your new crush.
 
Anyone got any love poems they wanna share too? Shee wizz man up people this is a footy forum not Cleo!

I know it seems impossible when your young, but your better off moving on. Never let a women headscrew you and dictate your emotions cos its a total complete waste of energy and time. Missing your ex is likely cos your lonely.

But the good news is you get over the ex the moment you get your piece wet inside a women who is better, less of a b*tch and you find more attractive. So focus on this and dont stop until this happens!

Make haste now.
 
Depends on how the break up happens. If you do it on good(ish) terms, yeah, you do.
 

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i would ask why it is necessary to 'move on' if you're content some time down the track in some way. perhaps even in an overall sense, that relationship being only one aspect of a life.
i believe forgiveness can be an empty, cliched gesture, done only because it gets done and without knowing why. i'm talking about an ex who was a piece of shit. she was amazing during the good times but i hate her for some of the things she did otherwise. i don't feel any worse for holding onto any hatred for her.

i was very much aware that breaking up was going to be difficult. how are you supposed to deal with loving someone and hating them at the same time? i preferred not to fight to stave off any misery and if i wanted to be a sook about it then i did it. i just figured i would be ok in some fashion down the track, whenever that may be, even while telling myself i could not forgive (ie, moved on).
 

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