Funny s**t your kids have said

[Chief]

"Today we learned that Jesus died on a hot cross bun."

 

[04 Durif]

"Today we learned that Jesus died on a hot cross bun."

Did he get to eat them 3 days later?

 

[Chief]

Did he get to eat them 3 days later?

They also put the Jewish kid in a hole and put a rock over it.

 

[Oraaaaazio]

Don't have any kids but I wasn't bad on the lip as a toddler... Apparently enjoyed Asian cooking shows, too.

1. Going through the supermarket in the small country town I was in, wasn't many Asians living there at this stage but one oriental gentleman walked past..

"Hey mum! It's Yan can cook!"

2. A fat ugly person of some descript walked past and I yelled this one

"Are you a really ugly fat man or a really ugly fat lady?"

3. Sudanese fella walks past...

"Look at that black man! He's chewing chewy!!! I want one!! Why are his teeth so white!!?"

Used to love going to the supermarket. Was also a racist.

 

[NotAMagpieBogan]

Was at work today and served a mum and her young daughter. The daughter was a complaining and wanted a chocolate bar, the mum was resisting and then the daughter pulls out a 'Remember you said loved me?'. The mum cracked and I did as well, even though I tried to keep it together. The girl didn't her chocolate either

 

[chunkylover]

My boy at pre school told me nic natanui came to the school last week for Harmony Day. Asked his teacher and they had a visit from an African dance group. Did laugh

 

[Chief]

"Jesus, King of the juice."

 

[IschenkoUBeauty]

LanceJr is 5 now but yeah.. he loves all that stuff

I called some kid's mother a fat c*** at a birthday party in early primary school once. Was very funny but nobody else found it funny.

 

[Boomerfan99]

I called some kid's mother a fat c*** at a birthday party in early primary school once. Was very funny but nobody else found it funny.

Sure you did.

 

[Duritz]

I called some kid's mother a fat c*** at a birthday party in early primary school once. Was very funny but nobody else found it funny.

You're a real hero.

 

[John Tron]

"why is he fat?"

 

[IschenkoUBeauty]

You're a real hero.

Thanks.

 

[IschenkoUBeauty]

Sure you did.

Yeah.

 

[Gubbz]

I called some kid's mother a fat c*** at a birthday party in early primary school once. Was very funny but nobody else found it funny.

Would've been funnier if you had tied her shoe laces together.

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

 

[NaturalDisaster]

I was explaining that Australia is technically a continent to my 6 year old nephew

he didn't believe me

I ask why and he said "it just isnt!"

so i said "it is, theres 7 continents on earth!" and named them for him including australia

and he said "dont be so silly, thats just something they tell little kids to make us feel better about ourselves"

so apparently, Australia being considered a continent is a global conspiracy to make Aussie kids feel good about themselves

 

[Lord_Flashheart]

Introduced my 14 year old son to Star Wars when The Force Awakens was in cinemas a few months back.

A week or two later we were looking for his phone so I thought I would ring it to find it and I hear the imperial march playing from another room.

I asked him if he had a Star Wars theme as his ring tone for me and he said yes, because you are my father.

 

[Illinois Nazi]

How does a kid reach age 14 without seeing Star Wars?

 

[Cruyff14]

27 and I still haven't seen it.

 

[Gough]

Heathen.

 

[RedmanWasHere]

27 and I still haven't seen it.

24 years old and have neither seen all movies or liked the series.

 

[Plugger35]

 

[Gough]

24 years old and have neither seen all movies or liked the series.

If you grew up around the time of episode 1, or 2, I quite liked 3, I can understand the disdain. But the original ones, and the Force Awakens are great. I would recommend you watch them.

 

[Lord_Flashheart]

How does a kid reach age 14 without seeing Star Wars?

I'm a terrible parent

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

My dad took my brother and I to see them when the 20th anniversary sessions were on at the cinema, absolutely loved it. We even read Star Wars books and played computer games etc after that

 

[dales.girl38]

I grew up with a Star Wars obsessed brother, gladly played with the figurines and watched the films with him dozens of times.