Roast Grumpy Old Thread- 10k posts of whinging

[ansonholt]

Hey guys, what's the qualification for being a grumpy old man? Is there more more emphasis on the grumpy, or more on the old?

 

[Gasometer]

I ran amok at mine.

Give one example.

 

[Gasometer]

Hey guys, what's the qualification for being a grumpy old man? Is there more more emphasis on the grumpy, or more on the old?

I would say both.

But please. ..as IUB would say. ..lub at the end of the day.

 

[Gasometer]

Srs...you have to graduate PS...why acknowledge or reward it...oh i miss the 70's.

 

[KiwiRoo]

Pretty grumpy with certain umpires right now.......

 

[blackshadow]

Pretty grumpy with certain umpires right now.......

Have you been rewatching the duckers final?

 

[Gasometer]

Have you been rewatching the duckers final?

Could be 94 PF?

 

[KiwiRoo]

Have you been rewatching the duckers final?

different shaped ball but equally as incompetent

you could say he ducked making the correct decision

 

[see see]

Grade 6 Graduation. ...wtf.

Prerequisite skills necessary to graduate from Grade 6: breathing (doing so through nose optional).

That is all.

 

[Just4Kicks]

That big advert for new retro AFL woollen jumpers seen on the freeway near Dynon road. The f***ing building it is on is sitting about a drop punt away from Arden st and it has every Victorian side plus Sydney shown and no North Melbourne. Pisses me off no end and I hope the person/s involved die a slow, horrible death.

Shits me as well, passing through there every day on the train.

Sent from my LG-D802 using Tapatalk

 

[Dirty_11]

There is one other year that takes the cake for all of them....thankfully erased from the history records.






Jarman.

I don't mention it as it does not exist.

 

[utility]

Home with the kids, one is sleeping so I decide to take a nap while the other plays. As I'm about to doze off I hear him complaining in the bathroom. Turns out he was using his tinker tailor soldier spy as a fire hose while sitting on the throne and there's urine everywhere - including his t-shirt. Had to strip him off and have a shower and clean up the mess... there goes my nap!

 

[TooUglyForFugly]

Running out of milk at noon and having to walk to the shop to restock then walk back home.

GRRŘRRŔRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRŔRRRRRRRŔ

 

[utility]

Home with the kids, one is sleeping so I decide to take a nap while the other plays. As I'm about to doze off I hear him complaining in the bathroom. Turns out he was using his tinker tailor soldier spy as a fire hose while sitting on the throne and there's urine everywhere - including his t-shirt. Had to strip him off and have a shower and clean up the mess... there goes my nap!

On the flip side he volunteered to put himself to bed for a nap and waved goodbye that would have melted the heart of a tyrant. The ying and the yang of small children!

 

[Twinkletoes]

Home with the kids, one is sleeping so I decide to take a nap while the other plays. As I'm about to doze off I hear him complaining in the bathroom. Turns out he was using his tinker tailor soldier spy as a fire hose while sitting on the throne and there's urine everywhere - including his t-shirt. Had to strip him off and have a shower and clean up the mess... there goes my nap!

That reads like a footy trip incident utility.

I'm coming off an attempt at my usual four hours sleep with kid #1 creeping into bed with us after my first hour claiming "I'm siiiiiiiiick" closely followed by kid #2 an hour later with the same claim. One hour of them tossing and turning while kicking shit out of me in the bed later and I managed a decent one hour worth of sleep.

 

[utility]

Home with the kids, one is sleeping so I decide to take a nap while the other plays. As I'm about to doze off I hear him complaining in the bathroom. Turns out he was using his tinker tailor soldier spy as a fire hose while sitting on the throne and there's urine everywhere - including his t-shirt. Had to strip him off and have a shower and clean up the mess... there goes my nap!

So the boy goes to bed, here's my chance for a nap. About to doze off... bang! The daughter wakes up. Been asleep for ages so need to give her lunch. After lunch I thought I'd take the opportunity to catch a power nap. I thought the sofa was a safe bet as she could play on the floor... she had other ideas. Starts throwing toys and shoes and clothes at my face, then climbs up onto the sofa unassisted. Hard to get angry as it's the first time she's elevated like that. Ends up climbing all over me so figure today's not my day, and I need to bring in the clothes and start preparing dinner. Flip side is that it's always fun when she wants to play.

Yes, you're old and grumpy when you don't get your afternoon nap!

 

[TooUglyForFugly]

I hear too many mentions of The View to maintain a steady blood pressure.

 

[Twinkletoes]

The bright side of that scenario is that your daughter didn't wake you by throwing said toys at the tv screen utility.

 

[utility]

The bright side of that scenario is that your daughter didn't wake you by throwing said toys at the tv screen utility.

I don't have a television so not a problem to worry about.

 

[Horace]

I started complaining about ANZ Internet Banking in the Random Thoughts thread, but further experience last night has got my "grumpy old" up to new levels.

Now I know that ANZ were having troubles with their internet banking system yesterday (I wonder why ) but I logged on around 11.30 pm as I wanted to transfer some funds from one account to another before making a Bpay transaction. Took forever to get in so things started poorly.

But once in things deteriorated rapidly. Would not let me transfer the funds where I wanted them to go, but instead just nominated an account I rarely use. So I had to make the Bpay from an account i didn't want to and then when that took some time, I decided on some more feedback of the ":very very stern look" variety and it wouldn't let me do it.

 

[blackshadow]

I started complaining about ANZ Internet Banking in the Random Thoughts thread, but further experience last night has got my "grumpy old" up to new levels.

Now I know that ANZ were having troubles with their internet banking system yesterday (I wonder why ) but I logged on around 11.30 pm as I wanted to transfer some funds from one account to another befor making a Bpay transaction. Took forever to get in so things started poorly.

But once in things deteriorated rapidly. Would not let me transfer the funds where I wanted them to go, but instead just nominated an account I rarely use. So I had to make the Bpay from an account i didn't want to and then when that took some time, I decided on some more feedback of the ":very very stern look" variety and it wouldn't let me do it.

: is an illegal character?

 

[Horace]

: is an illegal character?

Quite possibly. It speaks volumes for those things that cannot be spoken, if you know what I mean.

 

[Horace]

That reads like a footy trip incident utility.

I'm coming off an attempt at my usual four hours sleep with kid #1 creeping into bed with us after my first hour claiming "I'm siiiiiiiiick" closely followed by kid #2 an hour later with the same claim. One hour of them tossing and turning while kicking shit out of me in the bed later and I managed a decent one hour worth of sleep.

Should have stayed "up and about" for all of the night then T'toes.

Aren't they just the worst nights when one or more of the kids gets sick and any chance of a decent nights sleep just disappears. And it always used to happen on the nights that you least needed it. Thank god ours are way past that stage.

 

[Twinkletoes]

Should have stayed "up and about" for all of the night then T'toes.

Aren't they just the worst nights when one or more of the kids gets sick and any chance of a decent nights sleep just disappears. And it always used to happen on the nights that you least needed it. Thank god ours are way past that stage.

Yeah I used to complain about such nights but now just accept that they're rare and this stage should be embraced for what it is as it will pass before we know it and beyond that we'll hit the opposite stage where the kids don't want a bar of us. All good but still worth a whinge in this thread for such matters.

 

[Twinkletoes]

I presume parking inspectors piss us all off so I've posted this joke which was doing the rounds on facetwatogram this week:

I went to the supermarket today , and I was there for literally 5 minutes.
When I came out there was a cop writing a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Dick headed cop. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires!

So I then asked him if his psychiatrist makes him lie face down on the couch cause he's so ugly.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on until he had placed 5 tickets on the windshield... the more I insulted him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.