Family & Relationships How do you get over a girl?

[coldpieswarmbeer]

haha damn thats cold, but you're right.. would have made things easier

but no way in hell im leaving a good job because of a broad.. thats terrible advice dude

 

[swiftdog]

I'd say it means spending heaps of time together, doing stuff together, playing around and in some cases sleeping together without being exclusive for whatever reason (Could be one of you still isn't over a previous relationship..).

Sleeping together aside the other stuff you mentioned isn't a relationship, or being together, not in the mind of a girl anyway (note: i am not a girl). It's just friendship. Sleeping together (depending on the situation) is obviously a bigger deal but even so you're not instantly together when you sleep with each other. Moral of the story is that until you actually talk about being exclusive then you're not together. Taking the mentality that you're together before having that talk is only going to end badly unfortunately.

I read your initial post and I know how much it sucks to have someone constantly on your mind. I think I may have posted in this thread a few months ago about a girl and she was on my mind non-stop for months. Luckily for me after we stopped talking, when I wasn't so emotionally involved anymore, I realised she was a lying, manipulative bitch to me. I'm simply a better person.

 

[davoss]

Once you completley ignore them when they try to contact you, she will will realise that she has stuffed up and threw away something good.
This is what has happened in my situation and it has only confirmed that I deserve better

 

[coldpieswarmbeer]

Sleeping together aside the other stuff you mentioned isn't a relationship, or being together, not in the mind of a girl anyway (note: i am not a girl). It's just friendship. Sleeping together (depending on the situation) is obviously a bigger deal but even so you're not instantly together when you sleep with each other. Moral of the story is that until you actually talk about being exclusive then you're not together. Taking the mentality that you're together before having that talk is only going to end badly unfortunately.

I read your initial post and I know how much it sucks to have someone constantly on your mind. I think I may have posted in this thread a few months ago about a girl and she was on my mind non-stop for months. Luckily for me after we stopped talking, when I wasn't so emotionally involved anymore, I realised she was a lying, manipulative bitch to me. I'm simply a better person.

im surprised people are pointing this out. last few years ive found it extremely common to get to be friends with a girl and the relationship moves naturally into a sexual one, and then you discuss whether you guys are dating as in exclusive. seems so old fashioned these days to me to ask girls lets be boyfriend/ girlfriend, would rather just take them out on the pretense of friends, see if there's a chemistry.. if there is make a move maybe its me or maybe its this country.

 

[FootyJunkie]

im surprised people are pointing this out. last few years ive found it extremely common to get to be friends with a girl and the relationship moves naturally into a sexual one, and then you discuss whether you guys are dating as in exclusive. seems so old fashioned these days to me to ask girls lets be boyfriend/ girlfriend, would rather just take them out on the pretense of friends, see if there's a chemistry.. if there is make a move maybe its me or maybe its this country.

seems to be a common trend in Oz... the concept of a "date" is blurred or subtle, things develop naturally with little planning if chemistry is there, while here in the States, its more strictly defined

 

[carn tigez]

seems to be a common trend in Oz... the concept of a "date" is blurred or subtle, things develop naturally with little planning if chemistry is there, while here in the States, its more strictly defined

That's exactly how I see it.

 

[Punt_Road_Roar]

Here's the truth:

You never completely get over the special girls in your life.

You just move on, and they fade in your memory.

This is true.

I still think about my first serious relationship and it was messy for a long time.

Been many since and I have a great lady in my life now but still every now and then I still think about the first one for some reason.....

 

[carn tigez]

This is true.

I still think about my first serious relationship and it was messy for a long time.

Been many since and I have a great lady in my life now but still every now and then I still think about the first one for some reason.....

That;s interesting. In what kind of way?

 

[coldpieswarmbeer]

^^^^lol.

 

[Ed_Gein]

Long story short, i am an utter, utter arseh*le.

In the end, i'm struggling to get over a girl i wasn't officially dating (she loves me too), but i have to get over.

I'm backpacking at the moment which would seem like it would take my mind off things, but it's not working.

 

[IAMJUNGLEMUFFIN]

How to get over a girl?

Cut them completely out of your life. No catch ups, no chats, no sms, no nothing. Eventually you'll stop thinking about it.

 

[Dan Moody]

Here's the truth:

You never completely get over the special girls in your life.

You just move on, and they fade in your memory.

Agree with this.
Although I'm over my first loves, you always fondly remember the good times you had with them and find yourself occasionally wondering what they would be doing these days.

 

[Byron_Clanger]

Find another girl

 

[Caesar]

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

 

[cammania]

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

These are the philosophies in life more people should take. Works wonders.

 

[Damon_3388]

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

[YOUTUBE]dU9hrd35Dsg[/YOUTUBE]

 

[BACCS]

How to get over a girl?

Cut them completely out of your life. No catch ups, no chats, no sms, no nothing. Eventually you'll stop thinking about it.

What if the girl ended things out of the blue when things were going well, as the relationship was moving too fast for her? She still wants to be friends and shit, still clearly cares about me, but for some reason can't be with me. It just makes no ****ing sense.

Oh, getting blind drunk at Uni bar helped for a momentary period last night...

 

[Caesar]

She's letting you down easy. Don't fall for the let's be friends move.

 

[BACCS]

She's letting you down easy. Don't fall for the let's be friends move.

I haven't, there is no way I'm going back to being friends, considering we never actually were in the first place.. We have only known each other as a couple. It is just shit, the reasons given to me just make no sense, and even she admits that she doesn't have a solid explanation. People just don't change their mind over the course of one hour, after having a couple of drinks, it isn't fair.

 

[camsmith]

I haven't, there is no way I'm going back to being friends, considering we never actually were in the first place.. We have only known each other as a couple. It is just shit, the reasons given to me just make no sense, and even she admits that she doesn't have a solid explanation. People just don't change their mind over the course of one hour, after having a couple of drinks, it isn't fair.

Do you think she gave you reasons that dont make sense and doesn't have a solid explanation because the true reason why she wants to break up might hurt you? Or something similar?

It is shit. I have gone without talking to a girl since march and it is getting easier, although I know the next time I see her it will all go back to square one (this happened last time, after I had forgotten her, we met back up after about 2 years and had a fling, then same thing happened and she didn't want to know me after a while).

I think its pretty impossible to be "friends" with someone you have only ever been a couple with, only exception would be after you have found someone later that you like more.. but even then would make things difficult.

 

[IAMJUNGLEMUFFIN]

What if the girl ended things out of the blue when things were going well, as the relationship was moving too fast for her? She still wants to be friends and shit, still clearly cares about me, but for some reason can't be with me. It just makes no ****ing sense.

Oh, getting blind drunk at Uni bar helped for a momentary period last night...

It makes perfect sense, but you aren't ready to accept it yet.

Things may have been going well for you, hence why you still have feelings, but obviously not for her, as she wouldn't have left you.

The "we can still be friends" line is just her not wanting to hurt your feelings, so that she can go to sleep at night.

All that friends stuff is the worst possible scenario. You still have feelings for her and want her back, she doesn't have feelings for you and wants you to accept that. Sticking around in even the slightest possible way will result in you doing everything you can to get what you want (her), including allowing your emotions to be walked over like a door mat. Even though that may not be her intentions, that will be the result.

Just remember that almost everyone goes through the same sort of experience at some point in their life, so don't feel ashamed about it.

Such is life brother.

Good luck.

 

[Sepoy]

First major breakup?

If it's a serious breakup - stay the **** away from her. This is the most important thing. Just get on with your life.

This

best advice you will ever receive

 

[camsmith]

This

best advice you will ever receive

Hate to sound like a ********.. but thats pretty hard when she was your life.

/emo

 

[Ed_Gein]

yeah it sounds so easy in theory, but the reality of it is much harder to deal with.

with my situation, we both love each other a lot. buuuuut... she still lives with her ex. it's a long story and i don't think it's something i should share on here.

but the reason why i am finding it so difficult to move on is because we do actually love each other, but i think the circumstances behind the whole situation is too difficult to deal with and work around.

i think it would be better for me to cut my ties, as much as we love each other.

 

[Caesar]

Thirty days to break a habit.

Pack your schedule full of stuff to do, hang out with mates as much as possible, tell them to not let you talk about her. When I broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5yrs I signed up for a cooking class, started playing competitive tennis and took an extra subject at university the next semester.

Result? Still felt like shit for a little while, but was so busy I didn't really have time to scratch myself, let alone miss seeing her. By the time everything slowed down again it was a relatively distant memory.

If/when my current girlfriend breaks up with me I'll probably learn Spanish or something.