Family & Relationships How do you get over a girl?

[Stats Man]

one thing with girls is that with some especially the ones you consider to be the geelong or collingwood of your world...if theyre single you wonder what could possibly make you stand out from the rest in that, if other guys can't acheive success with her then what makes you different? you have to hav self belief.

 

[NMFCMUFC]

Not sure if you have any friends or they are just all f'wits but what a load of shit.

Your advice is shithouse as well. I advice anyone reading this thread to not listen to this person if unless you want to turn into a wussy little girl!

Agree, hanging out with good mates is awesome, if they're your proper mates they will see to it you have a good night and make you feel better, lots of laughs, lots of piss good times.

 

[swiftdog]

One thing I forgot to mention before. Some things that have been said and done by me that have been misinterpreted and taken out of context by her as me being really interested in her. I don't want to continue giving her the impression that she's got me on the hook so that's why i'm a little hesitant to text/call straight away. I want to contact her Elvis but only really to set up a time and place for us to talk and throw everything out in the open. Her message today told me she was too busy to do something this week.

 

[Ferris_rules]

Thank you so much for the mature responses in here guys.

It is scary and maybe for those who may have thought of insults, etc, I was at a dangerously low point, where I was vulnerable and weak a few days back. It was a dark place but I am much better now.

In re: to the situation, I have backed off and halted all communication, in fact I have avoided any potential situation where she may see me.

If she did love me, she would want me back, otherwise she never did love me and I can move on easily.

On the positive, Footy is back very very soon and the world cup is about to start. My life will be busy and it is exciting times for me, house and car on my list of priorities.

 

[King Elvis]

One thing I forgot to mention before. Some things that have been said and done by me that have been misinterpreted and taken out of context by her as me being really interested in her. I don't want to continue giving her the impression that she's got me on the hook so that's why i'm a little hesitant to text/call straight away. I want to contact her Elvis but only really to set up a time and place for us to talk and throw everything out in the open. Her message today told me she was too busy to do something this week.

Sorry mate, but I reckon she's cut you loose.

 

[Ferris_rules]

Sorry mate, but I reckon she's cut you loose.

Sadly I will be joining his club as being cut loose too.

Nobody is that busy to not make time.

Hmm example if the hottest or nicest chick you ever met asked if you were free, you would make time regardless.

Exception your team is playing in the GF. Even then there is before and after the game, lol.

 

[Mancey]

Her message today told me she was too busy to do something this week.

It's done.

She might ring you in a week and flip flop (probably because the better deal she's trying to get going right now falls through), but in the meantime organize an awesome Aussie Day for tomorrow and try to enjoy yourself.

 

[Smoooothy]

Exception your team is playing in the GF. Even then there is before and after the game, lol.

in your (our) case mate, thats pretty unlikely...

 

[Ruck Machine]

Shag as many other women as possible!

 

[La Di Da]

Shag as many other women as possible!

Doesn't really help.

 

[Ruck Machine]

Doesn't really help.

Couldn't hurt.

 

[swiftdog]

Yeah you guys are probably right. I get the feeling she's more indifferent about meeting up as opposed to completely not interested though. She's told me before that she's not really the passive-aggressive type. Ended up shooting her a message before. We'll see what happens. Tuning up another couple of girls atm also so hardly putting all my eggs in one basket. But honestly this one has a lot of the things I look for in a girl and I'm not really the type to start falling for someone easily.

 

[Groggyk]

Move on mate.

It'll just do your head in if you keep chasing her and tbh she'll lose respect for you and more importantly you'll eventually lose a bit of respect for yourself.

If she's pulling this shit with you in the first place she's not worthy of your attention/affection.

Follow what some others have said here. Hang with your mates, get drunk a bit, vent your frustration, then go out and pull as many women as you can.

Plenty more fish, etc.

 

[Mancey]

She's told me before that she's not really the passive-aggressive type.

She's not being passive aggressive at all tho.

She probably does sorta care about you and as a result has given you the "I'm busy, sorry" rather than the "Not interested, sorry" as an attempt not to hurt you.

Result is the same unfortunately

 

[tonk]

root her mum

 

[Mancey]

You dun goofed

 

[Caesar]

Without wanting to be harsh, because it's obvious you're going through a really tough time... you didn't leave her much choice. It's like the Ferris's problem with the girl in reverse - you don't want the relationship, but you still want bits of it on your terms (like her not seeing other guys).

Once you break up with person, it is what it sounds like: the relationship is broken. Temporarily or permanently, it doesn't matter - the rules cease to apply. You're not offering her a relationship, and take it from someone who's been on her side of the fence - there is nothing that sucks more being in love with someone and sitting around waiting for them to maybe one day be ready to be in a relationship with you.

As much as it sucks to hear it, she's 100% doing the right thing for her own sanity by moving on with her life. And in order to truly move on from someone, you essentially have to write them off completely - if you're in love with someone and you still hold a small amount of hope that one day you might get (back) together, you can never really commit to anybody else.

That's not to say she won't be open to a relationship one day down the track if you do get yourself sorted out, but I doubt she's really looking in that direction and she's almost certainly not expecting it. As someone who's had personal issues that have affected my relationships as well, the best thing for you to do is focus on sorting yourself out and then move forward with your life - with or without her.

 

[tige19]

Dude you need to faaarking forget that girl, to me she has been playing both of you and when the decision was to be made she rissoled you and went with the new version. As much as this sucks I'd basically cut all contact with her and if she ever comes back to you (which is likely as 90% of us boys are arseholes) you either flick her or make her earn her stripes. Dude time heals everything, I'd suggest sticking fat with good friends and if you play footy or some kind of sport spend as much time with team mates as possible.

Now I have a situation I'd like to share, I'm sure this will top most of what's written on here, it's something I'm going through now.

Over 2 years ago I met a bartender from Perth working in a Melbourne club, I was blind after a footy function and was chock full of confidence and told her I'd marry her! We exchanged numbers and not before to long we were an item. Anyway this girl was studying in Melbourne and didn't have to Many people Here for support so lent on me alot, I did everything possible to support her.

So after a year and half she wants to move in with me (I'm happily living with a few of the boys at this stage) being the nice bf and completely in love I agree and we move in. Everything I'd rosy besides the fact there is always the thought of her moving home and me possibly coming. So this Xmas we go overseas with a group of 14, in the last week overseas she mentions she wants to move home! I'm shocked, we have a 12 month lease and only half way through. I talk her around. Back in Perth it starts again and she wants to move home, I tell her she can do what she likes and the next day I'm on the plane back to Melbourne.... Alone. I then proceed to go on a team mates bucks weekend in Echuca and in my drunken state I bowl over a local, I'm angry I don't give a shit.

Girlfriend comes home Monday to pack stuff, we talk we cry and tell each other how much we love eachother and promise to do long distance and visit alot. She leaves Wednesday! I'm ok but after a day I start to resent her and when talking to her and hearing her happy in her voice I start turning. I'm now hanging out with old flames, going to clubs, drinking my self silly on benders and grabbing any straggler that walks, once again I'm angry and I don't care (I want her back desperately and have never cheated on her).

Things are going down hill, we speak but she seems flat, I'm not a priority anymore, shes trying to organize her life! She says she's stressed out and that makes me angry! She's stressed out?? She left me to back to her family mention worth 10mill and I'm here to shift everything and try and get out of this lease and find another home to live in (back to parents at 26). We start arguing and im loving it, I'm thinking about things she's done that have annoyed me and I'm teeing off on her, she deserves it right? She left me..!

This once strong relationship has gone pear shaped in a matter of weeks after an amazing holiday... WTF my world has been turned upside down. We last spoke yesterday and I said to her I'm not gonna talk to her, I need to look after my self and not hear your voice (I love her a hell of alot but am so stubborn). So last night being depressed and alone I invite an old flame who is 100% marriage material and who is stunning to my place, she cheers me up but I dont have the feelings for her like I do this girl in Perth.

Are we fcuked?? I'm pretty honest and I believe we are. I also believe after a while she will come running back sucking up my arse (she has already txt me, I didn't reply), should I just leave this and move on??

I'd like to add whilst we first started seeing eachother she went to the states to visit a friend and ended up having a fling with some army ***, she never told me but I found out as I hacked her Facebook and read old messages.

I might sound like a contradicting pig but I'd like to point out I've always supported and looked after this girl. As it stands I have no idea what is happening and after speaking to dad for hours about this he believes I should leave her be And move on and concentrate on business (I work for him).

I feel like nailing a million birds (I've dipped my finger and felt shit afterwards) and just carry on like a twit and get blind with the boys every Saturday. I'm probably not the most mature person but feel as though this may be a good step in my life. Do the right thing and cut contact or really try and Persue her and lose all my credibility by back peddling? I'm to proud so as it stands she's being wiped from my brain to the best of my ability.

I'd like to add I'm also depressed right this second. Corona?? Faark me, I can't even cook for my self.

 

[breeno]

Have you thought of telling her this, how you miss her and would love for her to live with you in Melbourne etc. Obviously if she still wants to stay in Perth, you have two choices in my mind; go with her or break up - I'd be suggesting the latter tbh. I honestly think long distance doesn't work, it's just extremely difficult.

You seem to recognise a lot of the things you're doing wrong. If you're depressed, getting drunk with the boys is always good to relieve some stress after a break up, but if the extent of your depression is that bad getting hammered on a regular basis will not help you.

I'd talk to her, clear the air with her completely, and see where you go from there. At the very least, you've taken a weight off your shoulders and can then go about getting over/forgetting about her.

I'm of the belief that if you're not a priority for someone, they shouldn't be a priority for you. It's clear you two had a fantastic relationship and it has really hurt you, but you need to be sensible about the way in which you deal with your situation.

Again; all of this is only my opinion. Some of the more notorious posters should be able to give you some fantastic advice mate.

 

[tige19]

Mate I feel like I've told her all I could, she knows Joe much she means to me, we have been everything to eachother for the past 2 and half years! To be honest I've never given a shit about females but this one had me hook line and sinker.

To me it's happen just so quick, one minute were shagging on a paradise island in indonesia, the next she's moving home, this happen in a matter of days! Can't believe it. Mates being mates have given me some sound advice but everyone I've spoken to that know us as a couple are shocked (mum said she a sneaking suspicion this would happen though). I've been given all sorts of advice, some I use some I don't but it's good to speak to others who have been through tough situations and have pulled through fine.

Im such a proud person that I know I won't contact her, I know I'll make her work as hard as possible to get the right to speak to me, it may get to the point where I push her away totally, that's something I don't want to happen but on the flipside there's no chance of me going against my pride and credibility as a man to give in first or easily.

What I want to happen is for her to have a month away, for me to nail as many girls as possible and then for her to come back crawling saying she can't live without me and she's moving home. I want all that to happen without me saying a thing!

Selfish? Yuup, immature? Yuup, pig headed and wrong? Yuup. But that's what I want. Of course if she was to come back I'd do everything 100% and treat her like a princess, I never do things half hearted whether that be training, drinking or in a relationship.

Gee I sound as faarked up as anyone I know, please tell me someone else thinks like me lol.

 

[Big Sledge #32]

Bumping due to the dissolution of a relationship


Any tips GD brethren?

 

[kwame]

Bumping due to the dissolution of a relationship


Any tips GD brethren?

bang another chick ASAP if breakup was messy then one of her friends is perfect...and cut off all contact

 

[The OBSTacle]

Here's the truth:

You never completely get over the special girls in your life.

You just move on, and they fade in your memory.

 

[Big Sledge #32]

Here's the truth:

You never completely get over the special girls in your life.

You just move on, and they fade in your memory.

True that.

It's a messy situation due to the fact that it was long distance. We still both have feelings for each other but we just keep fighting over small things which wouldn't even get mentioned if we weren't 7 hours away from each other.

We had another fight today and she just said she couldn't take this anymore and ended it less than 30 minutes before I had to hop on a 7 hour bus ride home. So today has been just about the most humiliating day of my life.

 

[Andre]

True that.

It's a messy situation due to the fact that it was long distance.

That's the problem with long distance, at some point one party is going to have to move at some point. If you are 100% against moving, but still want to see her, and she's the same you're fraked.

I'm from Adelaide and my wife is from Melbourne, since moving back to SA I've had arguments over things (not initiated!) that wouldn't have rated a mention when we were living there (we lived together there for 7 years, back in SA for 3). My wife hates it here and I know that at best (from my point of view) we'll have to move back when the kids finish school (only just started). An ongoing stress in an otherwise great marriage.

It's hypocritical perhaps, as even with the stress I'm still very happy and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else, but my advice for anyone contemplating a long distance relationship is one word - NO. Just NO. With only a chance of yes if YOU are 100% sure YOU are completely happy moving where the other person is, as you can't trust the reverse - even if they say it, when push comes to shove and they move they may end up not being.