Indian Tour vent thread.

[Gough]

In an attempt to keep frustrations about real, or imagined outrages that are going to occur over the next twenty days of Test out of the match threads, I present to you the venting thread. It's here that we can relive ourselves of our frustrations, and anger in a safe, controlled environment, an injecting room for cricket junkies if you will.
Have it.

 

[Seagrave_Holmes]

Oh boy this will be fun

 

[PhatBoy]

You're all c***s

 

[Fat Nyfe]

Why was player X picked. He must have photos of the selectors

 

[Mkcaptain]

The first vent will be when Smith announces the teams at the toss.

 

[PhatBoy]

I predict it will take until Ashwin has two out of the three wickets to fall before the 'doctored pitches' excuse rears its head.

 

[Gough]

I predict it will take until Ashwin has two out of the three wickets to fall before the 'doctored pitches' excuse rears its head.

Doctored pitches is a bullshit excuse. Australian wickets always mysteriously find pace, and bounce when the Indians tour here.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

Good idea.
I think I can put the whole series top ten vents down now.

1 - Wade, you hack
2 - ffs, Davey, head down, this isn't an Aussie flat track
3 - Maxwell, really? we are so shit
4 - Give the ball some ****ing air GOAT
5 - Why keep picking all-rounder who can't bat or bowl?
6 - Well, that's just shit. OK, you're getting belted but at least ****ing try sometimes.
7 - Another innings defeat - can we play Zimbabwe next please, and not in Asia
8 - Soft hands, it can't be that hard, you spuds are fuill time professionals
9 - So many "spinners", so little talent : stop picking so many when the quicks are more dangerous (but still getting belted)
10 - MMarsh, Wade, CAREER OVER - we wish but know it ****ing won't be

And finally the reflection weeks after the end:
I guess 4-0 isn't that bad, its not like we lost every match by an innings.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

I predict it will take until Ashwin has two out of the three wickets to fall before the 'doctored pitches' excuse rears its head.

I think its already out there, with the first photos of the first Test deck.

 

[PhatBoy]

I think its already out there, with the first photos of the first Test deck.

What, because like every other Indian wicket since time began, its dry?

 

[Underarm]

Oh boy this will be fun

Off to a good start. Gough mentions injection rooms, Bombers fan is first to reply!

 

[dogs105]

Shut up Clarkey. Bring back Jim Maxwell.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

What, because like every other Indian wicket since time began, its dry?

People have already started on it. It does look a bit crumbly early, but that happens a lot in India (and Pakistan) without doctoring.

 

[PhatBoy]

People have already started on it. It does look a bit crumbly early, but that happens a lot in India (and Pakistan) without doctoring.

Exactly.

 

[greatwhiteshark]

Doctored pitches is a bullshit excuse. Australian wickets always mysteriously find pace, and bounce when the Indians tour here.

Don't agree at all, we have been playing on batting highways for the last 15 years here no matter who the tourists are. I love that in india they make the pitches suit themselves.
We should do it also and have 5 green tops when they tour but we don't because Aussies like saying things are better when its fair and the TV stations don't like a 3-4 day test.
India don't care though and 2 of these next 4 test matches will be lucky to go into a 5th day and they won't care at all.

 

[PhatBoy]

Don't agree at all, we have been playing on batting highways for the last 15 years here no matter who the tourists are. I love that in india they make the pitches suit themselves.
We should do it also and have 5 green tops when they tour but we don't because Aussies like saying things are better when its fair and the TV stations don't like a 3-4 day test.
India don't care though and 2 of these next 4 test matches will be lucky to go into a 5th day and they won't care at all.

1. Australia are as bad on green tops as any nation in the world. Can't believe you would even breathe such a notion - every time we bat in a billiard table we play like we are fresh out of a kanga team. So no, we couldn't do that when other teams tour because there is a strong chance we'd get embarrassed. India's pace attack isn't great but it's good enough that it would cause us problems in the conditions you mentioned.

2. I don't think we juice the wickets up when India comes here. But remember, while we might look at our 6 main test venues and think 'ok, only really Perth and Brisbane are noticeably bouncy or quick' you need to realise that if you come from India, SL, Pakistan or even the West Indies these days, ALL Australian wickets are fast and bouncy.
Just like we go over there and declare all their wickets rank crumbling turners, I'm sure if you're Indian, there are noticeable differences from pitch to pitch.

 

[Fat Nyfe]

'That's just the way he plays' × 8 for every Warner dismissal

 

[STFU Donnie]

I do like a nice vent. Here are some of my favourites.

 

[PhatBoy]

I do like a nice vent. Here are some of my favourites.

View attachment 339207 View attachment 339208 View attachment 339209 View attachment 339210 View attachment 339211

 

[LukeParkerno1]

I'm sure there will be plenty of venting about Wade and rightly so!

 

[Barry_Badrinath]

Doctored pitches is a bullshit excuse. Australian wickets always mysteriously find pace, and bounce when the Indians tour here.

Except for last time, when the pitches were so flat they completely blunted Mitchell Johnson at his peak.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

I'm sure there will be plenty of venting about Wade and rightly so!

The thing with vents (see above) is they usually let less through than Wade does.

 

[PhatBoy]

Except for last time, when the pitches were so flat they completely blunted Mitchell Johnson at his peak.

That was the one glaring example yes. Awful decks.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

Except for last time, when the pitches were so flat they completely blunted Mitchell Johnson at his peak.

That is one difference. Australian broadcasters want Tests to last five days, Indian broadcasters want Tests over and done with so the important limited over (50 and 20) stuff can be focussed on again.

 

[Barry_Badrinath]

I won't complain about the pitches for the tests. We know they're all going to be spinning dust bowls and there's no issue with India doing that. I will say though that it was poor form to offer up a pitch with grass on it in the practice matches so that the Aussies couldn't adjust to the conditions. A lot of people on the board lament the lack of warm-up matches in the lead up and but if India are gonna serve up green tops there is no point.