On the job at work.

[Gough]

http://www.smh.com.au/small-busines...l?utm_source=hootsuite&utm_campaign=hootsuite

Look, maybe it’s just the types of people I hang out with, but recent straw polls among my circle of friends have revealed a majority have masturbated at work. This includes not only me but also a few of the girls, one of whom says she’s even done it hands-free at her desk without her colleagues noticing. This isn’t as uncommon as you might think.

Yes or no?

 

[Messenger]

No, no, no, no.

 

[Summer Nights]

I don't like the idea of other people doing it because there's the thought of shaking their hand afterwards, even though they'd wash them. Plus I'm sure it would add to the overall pube-rate on the toilets and floor.

 

[Ahern2Boof]

I work in a coffee shop, so no.

 

[The Passenger]

Had a fair few over the years. If I had to hazard a guess maybe once a month.

Other activities in the article such as falling asleep, stealing stationery and arriving late once a week I have all taken part of. Who hasn't taken a pen home from work?

 

[Colin D'Cops]

No, no, no, no.

x 2

 

[quickstraw]

Had a fair few over the years. If I had to hazard a guess maybe once a month.

Other activities in the article such as falling asleep, stealing stationery and arriving late once a week I have all taken part of. Who hasn't taken a pen home from work?

Me. never stolen stationery.

As for rubbing one out at work - just no. wtf? Who does that shit?

 

[The Passenger]

Me. never stolen stationery.

i guess it depends if we are talking systematic stealing or just taking home a ruler, or a pen or whatever. the latter i've done, but not the former. i don't really have that much need for stationery in my life.

As for rubbing one out at work - just no. wtf? Who does that shit?

apparently a third of males.

 

[quickstraw]

apparently a third of males.

So where do people do this? Just slide off to the bathroom and rub one out?

Everytime I'm with 2 dudes I'm going to ask "which one of you c***s is it? I know one of us has rubbed one out and work and it's not me. So which one of you is it?"

 

[The Passenger]

When I've done it I've just gone to the toilets. In my most recent job it was no drama because the bathroom is just a one person bathroom, not a multi toilet bathroom.

If I had to hazard a guess I probably mostly do it on a monday morning after a big weekend when i've not sealed the deal. That being said, I don't really keep track of it or take notes.

 

[Freofalcon]

I've done it. Great cure for a hangover.

 

[The Passenger]

I've done it. Great cure for a hangover.

Sex and wanking is great for a hangover.

 

[rocker_oz33]

NO but pooed my pants at work once.

 

[BotsMaster]

NO but pooed my pants at work once.

Needs expanding.

 

[Shell]

NO but pooed my pants at work once.

Lmfao.

Yes story needs more details please ozzy.

 

[Freofalcon]

Lmfao.

Yes story needs more details please ozzy.

Yep. Love a good poo story.

 

[The Passenger]

I fourth a story expansion

 

[Shell]

Long story with no punctuation Oz, just how Cruff likes it.

 

[Fadge]

NO but pooed my pants at work once.

Needs expanding.

Yep. Love a good poo story.

I fourth a story expansion

Haven't we all?

Standing at the urinal, think you might let a sneaky little fart out the back door - Oops..

 

[Freofalcon]

Haven't we all?

Standing at the urinal, think you might let a sneaky little fart out the back door - Oops..

Not standing at the urinal. Lying face down in the urinal, maybe.

 

[Footypie32]

A couple of times back when I was a horny teen. When you're getting a boner every 5 mins it's the only cure.

 

[rocker_oz33]

Lmfao.

Yes story needs more details please ozzy.

Ok I Bent over a bunch of boxes to get something what I thought was just a normal run of the mill fart.Fact it was not just a fart it was poos lucky for me my jockeys caught all the mess.I went and tidied myself up and free balled the rest of the day.Checking the zipper on my pants more times i would like to say.Just making sure my junk was not hanging out.

 

[BotsMaster]

In 2011, a woman by the name of Ana Catarian Bezerra won the legal right to masturbate at work. This victory came after she took her employer to court, claiming a chemical imbalance resulted in a level of hyper-sexuality so high it could only be relieved by masturbating 47 times a day. With drugs and legal permission to do so, this was reduced to just 18 times a day.

 

[class78]

Did it at high school in the toilets when I was trying to bludge a lesson before lunch.

 

[Shell]

Ok I Bent over a bunch of boxes to get something what I thought was just a normal run of the mill fart.Fact it was not just a fart it was poos lucky for me my jockeys caught all the mess.I went and tidied myself up and free balled the rest of the day.Checking the zipper on my pants more times i would like to say.Just making sure my junk was not hanging out.

Disappointing oz.

Too many full stops and capital letters as well.