Roast Port Adelaide Book of Feuds

[70sDinosaur]

I believe it's a promo shot for an episode of Strange Sex.

Episode 1 - Eade + fish.

Episode 2 - Smithson + goat.

Episode 3 - Caleb + fountain pen.

It's shaping up to be an epic series.

 

[Pappagallo]

Episode 1 - Eade + fish.

Episode 2 - Smithson + goat.

Episode 3 - Caleb + fountain pen.

It's shaping up to be an epic series.

Episode 4 - Penbo + alpaca.

 

[S.Patrol.G]

That still makes me rage. The league basically said,

1) A player can chase another player who he is intending to tackle, in any manner he chooses. Head down, no profiterole [sic] vision, no awareness beyond his own lane a la a sprinter at an athletics track? Doesn't matter. You don't have to have a care in the world. You're completely free of any responsibility for your own safety. Just worry about sticking that horse collar.

2) Hartlett, in choosing to protect Wingard [the most valuable playing commodity the club had at that time by an absolute street] with a shepherd, had to do so in a manner that resulted in zero contact to the head. Incidental or otherwise. Even if the chaser was contributing to his own demise by blindly sprinting with his head forward and low.

Ultimately, in getting as low as possible, with feet planted, elbow tucked in and shoulder down, Hartlett impacted Tape predominantly in the chest, with the shearing forces of the impact and a partial head clash causing the SUNS player's brain to blue screen.

Remember though, this wasn't one of those clear "alternative was to tackle" scenarios.

The only alternative for Hartlett was to either watch Tape go past and potentially run down and tackle Wingard, leaving his teammate exposed to potential injury, the team missing out on a goalscoring opportunity and being labelled an unreliable selfish squib himself - or go into the block half-hearted and limp out of overconcern for tunnel-vision Tape, vastly increasing the chances of himself coming off second best and getting hurt given the SUNS player would have all the momentum at impact.

Insane.

The funny thing is, given the re-jig for incidental head contact a couple of years ago - exemplified by the ludicrous exoneration of Ryan Burton for sending Shaun Higgins into la-la land despite picking him off high when the North player had the ball and the clear alternative to tackle was spurned - Hartlett would actually get off that now.

Nah, he wouldn't. No "good bloke" or "plays for Hawthorn" downgrading. He'd still get suspended on the rationale that he "didn't have to shepherd" and he could have "veered" or "run away" from the contest. The MRO would make it fit and if he couldn't, Hocking would be sure to get it over the line.

 

[Vic_Vinegar]

A favourite of mine

 

[El_Scorcho]

Nah, he wouldn't. No "good bloke" or "plays for Hawthorn" downgrading. He'd still get suspended on the rationale that he "didn't have to shepherd" and he could have "veered" or "runaway" from the contest. The MRO would make it fit and if he couldn't, Hocking would be sure to get it over the line.

Yeah look I tend to agree.

They'd have trotted out the same "When you choose the bump the onus is on you to avoid injuring the bumped player" line they always do (unless it's a Hawthorn or Geelong player).

Remember they literally told Robbie that he should have just avoided the contest in this, the year of our lord Jesus Christ 2018, despite the fact that Robbie was actively trying to avoid the contest at the time of the contact and theoretically should have had every "good bloke" discount under the sun given his standing in the game and what he'd gone through over the offseason.

 

[GremioPower]

Remember when Biglands tried to bump Pickett...

This is great! I have never seen it before. Biglands deserves a "bad lip reading" for when he is talking to the doctor on the cart.

 

[Magus]

A favourite of mine

Huddo's reaction is what makes it.

 

[raman]

Huddo's reaction is what makes it.

And Dingle keeps a straight face like the pro he is.

 

[Marmozet]

Hawthorn!

Ever seen a more protected species? Always getting off with slaps to the wrist by the MRP/O. Meanwhile Hamish Hartlett gives Brad Hill and Cyril Rioli love taps, the latter absolutely milking it and Hartlett gets the book thrown at him. Or how about Kane Cornes getting rubbed out for a push in the back on Sam Mitchell? A push in the back is worth just a free kick, not a suspension! But nothing will ever be more baffling than Luke Hodge getting five minutes in the naughty corner for an attempted murder of Chad Wingard! AFL needed to protect their favourites on the eve of finals tho.

I don’t care how “good” they were, the “unsociable” way they played was disgraceful and nothing short of glorified thuggery! But it’s all sweet because they’re a good bunch of blokes...they really take it for granted how much the media protect them as well. If any of our players ever did any of those things Hawthorn players have gotten away with over the years, they’d call for the death penalty to be brought back.

In conclusion, as a footy team they’re not much chop once they’re made to play under the same set of rules as the rest of the competition and they deserve multiple decades worth of pain and suffering as a football club.

 

[RossFC]

I can understand Impey being homesick but going out in terrible form irks me.

 

[Zakk Wylde]

 

[Janey]

I've said it before, but it still staggers me that the MRP could look at this vision and not rate it as deliberate.

 

[finbarr]

'Member Since 2013' scarves.

 

[Shaucob_Burjan]

We were a fraction away from seeing Hodge end Wingard's career with that hit into the post.

Shocking that it only got 2 weeks. Advantages of being a big personality for Ch7, playing for Hawthorn and a 'good bloke' I guess.

One of the most disgusting acts I've ever seen in footy.

 

[Schulzenfest]

* everything about Hawthorn except Jarman Impey.

 

[raman]

Five premierships from 83 to 91, then somehow went within a hair’s breadth of a merger in ‘96. I mean really, what kind of weak s**t is that.

 

[Schulzenfest]

Five premierships from 83 to 91, then somehow went within a hair’s breadth of a merger in ‘96. I mean really, what kind of weak s**t is that.

A merger in which they would have been the non-dominant party.

To Melbourne.

MELBOURNE!

 

[JimmyBeerCans]

I don't care how many flags they've won that colour combo is what I flush every morning after my coffee yuck imagine having to wear their merch.

 

[TeeKray]

I hate them for beating us in two finals by three points each time in games we could and probably should have won in seasons when we were good enough to go on to win the flag.

 

[Marmozet]

Crowd of 11k at the MCG when they hosted us in 2004

 

[Magus]

**** the protected species that is the Tassie Hawks

 

[Jonts]

my first ever packet of footy card's i received 4 Jonathan Hay's in the same pack.

feeling ripped off i never tried footy cards again. Hawthorn ruined a part of my childhood

 

[TheFVK]

ex-hawk John Platten wouldnt sign my signature book at half time when I was a kid watching a Port v Centrals game.

Soon, John Platten. Soon.

 

[Andre]

Crowd of 11k at the MCG when they hosted us in 2004

I was one of the 11k that day.

Five premierships from 83 to 91, then somehow went within a hair’s breadth of a merger in ‘96. I mean really, what kind of weak s**t is that.

And with no excuses like we faced. They had visible support in the media, plenty of recent success, no shorty license holder etc. damn Don Scott for saving them.

 

[Portology]

They're not just the "poo and wee".
They are diarrhea and incontinence: their colors should be used as the universal medical symbol for extreme dehydration.
Maybe that explains some of the bending over double after light contact, and some of the let-offs after ... poor conduct.

I think that... big splash just about covers it all

And now, from the "mindless trivia I have enjoyed way beyond its importance level" department of my mental facility: watching us destroy Don Scott's nascent coaching career by smashing South Adelaide off Alberton way back in 1985, while we were in quite an on field hole ourselves.

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On a less "brown" note, credit to them for not following North Melbourne's trajectory after success, and for not following Melbourne's lead after failure.