Health R U OK?

[craigos]

The University of Life, bro.

But come on every second person says they've had depression. Oh you were sad for a fortnight? **** me, that happens! People think negative feelings should be less permanent than others, or they only last a few hours, and you should perk back up by the next day. Sometimes you feel low. These days any prolonged sadness is considered depression. Half of the stories in this thread are so tenuous.

I'm 30, and I can't say I've had anywhere near the same experience as you in regards to people citing depression and anxiety as often as it seems you do.
I probably wouldn't go using AFL/NRL players as a measuring stick to societies current issues either.

 

[Smoooothy]

I think if you've had clinical depression you realise that there's a lot of difference between that, and feeling a bit sorry for yourself.

Yep, massive difference between someone who feels a little sad, and someone who can't even get out of bed

 

[Scotland]

I probably wouldn't go using AFL/NRL players as a measuring stick to societies current issues either.

That was me.

10 years ago you never heard of depression/mental health in footy. Nathan Thompson came out and announced he was suffering depression and it was an eye opener. He wasn't out of form or on the trade table or anything, either.

Now it's commonplace.

McCarthy wants out of GWS: depression/mental health.
Franklin: depression/mental health.
Mitch Clark every time things aren't going his way: depression/mental health.
Mitchell Pearce behaves like a goose: depression/mental health.
Etc.

It's pretty tiresome now, and reflective of a society that as a whole is becoming softer over time. It's become a get out clause which is undoing good work done in getting mental health out in the open.

 

[PP34]

I don't think you were depressed.

You had a few weeks where your friends weren't talking to you. Not wanting to get out of bed? This is such a vague statement. I don't want to get out of bed most days.

Your issues were your mates were probably too busy to not talk s**t in a group chat. Some people go through their entire schooling with no friends. Some people have issues stemming from their s**t parents that limit them socialising, and they can never fully form meaningful, fun, bonding relationships. And your work mates are boring, dull deadshits? Welcome to work in general. I hate everyone I work with. All they do is bitch about each other and tell me about their cars or something. So what?

This 'healthy mind' thing is something I have an issue with. It's so vague. What does it mean? People would say anger is unhealthy, but it's not really, it's something we all face and go through. So what? It comes and it goes.

ffs every kid has anxiety or depression these days. We are simply animals lucky enough to have an extremely diverse, colourful, and confusing array of emotions. We go through different states every day. Sometimes these feelings are obviously definable, and sometimes they're confusing. It's normal. It is also normal to feel like absolute s**t, and it's extremely normal for these feelings to last a few months. Just because life has thrown troubles at you – no matter how big or small – doesn't mean those months of sadness, anger, or lack of energy is depression.

I feel like people have this weird, divine entitlement to always be happy. That is not fair. You are not always going to be happy.

People talk about 'I've been feeling low lately' and it's an insult to people who spend years with depressive thoughts, tendencies, and have genuine, serious issues. People have to quit jobs, can't perpetuate relationship, may turn to hurtful vices, and generally have severe issues as a result of something very hard to fix. A bunch of suburban people whinging about debts and work is such a ludicrous joke. If everyone who said they had depression or has had it actually had it, close to 60% of the population would.

A mate of mine had come back from two years where 10 in 12 months were spent in Europe or Africa, galivanting around the place, drinking piss, meeting girls, going to festivals, being constantly energised by new sights and smells and experiences. He comes back to Perth and starts talking about how he's depressed one night. Alright mate, tell me about it, what's up? How long has it been this way? How does it feel? Has it been there a long time? "Umm nah just since I got back really, I just feel like life is so boring, like it's just not worth it." Of course life is going to suck when you're back living in suburbia with your parents, drinking Swan Draught instead of Bitburger steins, and working a job you hate. That isn't depression. That's crashing back down after living a life of privilege.

I have a history of mental ailments and illness in my family. On both sides. This goes from people just being crazy, to things that have resulted in physical issues, to alcohol dependencies (ie dying at 55 from it and stealing warm beers, not the 'I have a beer every night' alcoholism), to things like bi-polar. I do not think mental illness in general is made up, or some modern construct. They are very real and can have some scary, sad effects, and can make a person's life incredibly tough. It's probably knowing and hearing about the things these people face – the thoughts in their heads – that makes me so angry when people cry depression and anxiety.

I had years in high school where I felt like s**t. I had a good two years of it where it felt incredibly lonely. Really lonely. Things felt dull but I never had depression. I was just an entitled angsty little s**t whose problems were self-caused or circling around s**t like friendships, and not serious issues. It's not depression, it's just a rough trot. People don't know true struggle, true helplessness. I don't. But at least when I feel like s**t for a few weeks I don't go citing depression. People need to own their emotions more and be far more realistic and removed.

The idea of intense sadness goes back centuries. It is traceable in art, letters, statues, all around the world, in all these separate and diverse cultures. Those things have always been there. It's the way it is. It's not a serious, chemical depression – it's you feeling confused because your great life has had a few bumps in it.

Yeah I never actually felt like I had depression, just saying having someone there when you're feeling a bit s**t is a good thing.

On the healthy mind thing, I understand humans go through a range of emotions all the time, but it's just constantly thinking bad thoughts, doubting where you're going and thinking you're a mess that I feel isn't beneficial. That kind of thing can't be good for your mental wellbeing. I don't know. All I know is if I kept feeling sorry for myself and not wanting to do much each day I wasn't going to end up in a good way. Does that make sense?

I agree on the whole not everything is depression angle. But this movement, day or whatever it is surely can't be that bad of a thing. If anything it may get some people to chat to their mates about things they usually wouldn't, which can help alleviate feelings of loneliness, sadness etc. It doesn't have to be related to plain and simply being depressed.

The AFL is the worst. Have a very reliable source within the AFL that has told me how BS all these mental health issues players are getting are. It's almost all drug related.

The worst is Gary Lyon, the bloke is a massive cokehead who puts away his best mate's misses and then goes into hiding and claims depression when people don't want a bar of him anymore. Pleaseeeee.

 

[Firestarter]

That was me.

10 years ago you never heard of depression/mental health in footy. Nathan Thompson came out and announced he was suffering depression and it was an eye opener. He wasn't out of form or on the trade table or anything, either.

Now it's commonplace.

McCarthy wants out of GWS: depression/mental health.
Franklin: depression/mental health.
Mitch Clark every time things aren't going his way: depression/mental health.
Mitchell Pearce behaves like a goose: depression/mental health.
Etc.

It's pretty tiresome now, and reflective of a society that as a whole is becoming softer over time. It's become a get out clause which is undoing good work done in getting mental health out in the open.

Thompson or Jonathan Hay?

Oh that was probably different.

 

[Silent Alarm]

Yeah I never actually felt like I had depression, just saying having someone there when you're feeling a bit s**t is a good thing.

On the healthy mind thing, I understand humans go through a range of emotions all the time, but it's just constantly thinking bad thoughts, doubting where you're going and thinking you're a mess that I feel isn't beneficial. That kind of thing can't be good for your mental wellbeing. I don't know. All I know is if I kept feeling sorry for myself and not wanting to do much each day I wasn't going to end up in a good way. Does that make sense?

I agree on the whole not everything is depression angle. But this movement, day or whatever it is surely can't be that bad of a thing. If anything it may get some people to chat to their mates about things they usually wouldn't, which can help alleviate feelings of loneliness, sadness etc. It doesn't have to be related to plain and simply being depressed.

The AFL is the worst. Have a very reliable source within the AFL that has told me how BS all these mental health issues players are getting are. It's almost all drug related.

The worst is Gary Lyon, the bloke is a massive cokehead who puts away his best mate's misses and then goes into hiding and claims depression when people don't want a bar of him anymore. Pleaseeeee.

I don't think depression begins because you feel s**t and continue to keep feeling s**t because you feel s**t. Depression and feeling low are two completely different things. I like you so I'm not having a go, but it's unfair to bring up your anecdote when heaps of people suffer genuine issues – my problem with depression now is that everyone thinks they've had a brush with it. Quite simply, it is a mental illness and the majority of people have not come into personal contact with it.

You see attention seekers stooping to the lowest common denominator with 'r u okay?' posts on instagram for this day. Then there's some stupid little caption about "I have had my own brushes with the black dog..." it's like * off, no you haven't; you're 21, hot, you go to Europe for a month every year and life is easy and fun... you felt s**t for six weeks because your boyfriend dumped you. These things really aren't that hard.

FFS there are real sob stories out there and they don't have depression. Some people have awful, tough lives, and they show resilience. That is because they do not have chemical outbalances; they are simply confused and sad. Kids have 1/100th of those dramas and say they're depressed.

It's a joke and days like this just perpetuate it.

 

[Silent Alarm]

It just reminds me of when people say "oh I was drinking when I was sad." Honestly every chick who's ever been dumped goes on a two-month long piss-binge. Every bloke does too. We love equating our issues or lives to something bigger – better, or sadder, or worse. Because saying you're sad is boring. But depression? That's like a fashion accessory.

 

[TheKanga]

The only time i've ever cried anxiety (and to a lesser extent depression) it's always only been when it's effected my day to day life.
Like for example last week i had a really bad panic episode out of the blue.
Ever since then it brought up some old fears and obsessions.
I'm slowly getting back on my feet, it's been a tough couple weeks.

I struggle with morning anxiety, i am sleeping but i wake up with nervous energy, dread and fear at stupid hours like 5am and can't get back to sleep.
If i can get that part under control it will be great, as my anxiety seems to improve a lot as the day goes on.
I'm going to try something tomorrow and fill my head with positive affirmations.
Try and not let the morning anxiety get to me as much, fingers crossed i miss the times of being able to roll over and go back to sleep.

 

[PP34]

I don't think depression begins because you feel s**t and continue to keep feeling s**t because you feel s**t. Depression and feeling low are two completely different things. I like you so I'm not having a go, but it's unfair to bring up your anecdote when heaps of people suffer genuine issues – my problem with depression now is that everyone thinks they've had a brush with it. Quite simply, it is a mental illness and the majority of people have not come into personal contact with it.

You see attention seekers stooping to the lowest common denominator with 'r u okay?' posts on instagram for this day. Then there's some stupid little caption about "I have had my own brushes with the black dog..." it's like **** off, no you haven't; you're 21, hot, you go to Europe for a month every year and life is easy and fun... you felt s**t for six weeks because your boyfriend dumped you. These things really aren't that hard.

FFS there are real sob stories out there and they don't have depression. Some people have awful, tough lives, and they show resilience. That is because they do not have chemical outbalances; they are simply confused and sad. Kids have 1/100th of those dramas and say they're depressed.

It's a joke and days like this just perpetuate it.

Yeah, depression obviously can just be a completely random and isn't something you really have control over avoiding. I was just mainly talking about the whole healthy mind thing. The R U Okay thing should focus more on differentiating depression and just a few down days/weeks.

I'm pretty well aware of the extent of depression thanks to someone in my year levels experience with the whole thing. It still kills me today to see what it has done to a promising career he had. I used to be question what depression truly was in my later high school days until I came into contact with his issues and realised what a ****ed up thing it generally is.

I was pretty happy to not see any posts on the day with attention seeking BS. Saw one post from a girl who had a brother kill himself, and that's actually an understandable one.

The whole its okay to talk viral craze shitted me more. So many people all of a sudden pretending to care about mental health.

Self diagnosis seems to be fairly common in all ages these days. Older people do it, people my age read things on the internet and become convinced of something, and I'd hate to imagine the s**t some younger kids watch on Youtube that gives them the wrong idea about things. A lot of those claiming they've had "brushes" with depression will realise what they had doesn't compare to what depression truly is when they see someone around them face it.

 

[Procrastinator35]

ASK ME NOW....

 

[Shell]

Ask me now.

 

[peternorth]

ASK ME NOW....

R U NOT OK?

 

[peternorth]

That was me.

10 years ago you never heard of depression/mental health in footy. Nathan Thompson came out and announced he was suffering depression and it was an eye opener. He wasn't out of form or on the trade table or anything, either.

Now it's commonplace.

McCarthy wants out of GWS: depression/mental health.
Franklin: depression/mental health.
Mitch Clark every time things aren't going his way: depression/mental health.
Mitchell Pearce behaves like a goose: depression/mental health.
Etc.

It's pretty tiresome now, and reflective of a society that as a whole is becoming softer over time. It's become a get out clause which is undoing good work done in getting mental health out in the open.

i do not think you are alone in your assessment there. there is much cynicism and skepticism these days. is it because more footy players are declaring mental illnesses? OR is it because the trailblazers in this industry (thompson et al) made it OK for players to speak up about their lives and hence depression etc?

making mental health more prevalent and at the forefront of society has helped (fundraising and awareness through facebook posts for a day), but has also opened the door for people to use it to their advantage

 

[perthblue]

In nearly all conversations I've had about depression, and in posts on BigFooty, the theme seems to be that it's better to talk about it. This has been the standard advice for at least the forty years I mentioned above. I sometimes wonder whether it is always, without exception, necessarily and constantly the thing to do in such circumstances. I further wonder that, if talking about it be the only answer, why is it that the epidemic this illness has developed into is only becoming worse. Is it in any way possible that constant reference to ones problems only brings the painful feelings to the surface on a permanent basis?

skilts

talking about it is definitely not always, without exception a good thing. a lot of people find it doesn't help at all, others find themselves feeling worse for having burdened somebody else or embarassed by sharing their feelings. and don't get me started on these 'depression help groups' let me tell you, if you are suffering from depression, then being in a room full of depressed people, talking about how depressed they are, is NOT going to do you much good.

if you feel compelled to 'talk about it' then do so with a professional and get yourself clinically diagnosed. don't google the symptoms and conclude that you are suffering from this or that. If you found a potentially cancerous lump on your body while in the shower, then you would go get a professional to look at it, and not Dave from the pub, so treat your mental health with the same level of respect.

 

[skilts]

skilts

talking about it is definitely not always, without exception a good thing. a lot of people find it doesn't help at all, others find themselves feeling worse for having burdened somebody else or embarassed by sharing their feelings. and don't get me started on these 'depression help groups' let me tell you, if you are suffering from depression, then being in a room full of depressed people, talking about how depressed they are, is NOT going to do you much good.

if you feel compelled to 'talk about it' then do so with a professional and get yourself clinically diagnosed. don't google the symptoms and conclude that you are suffering from this or that. If you found a potentially cancerous lump on your body while in the shower, then you would go get a professional to look at it, and not Dave from the pub, so treat your mental health with the same level of respect.

Thank you so much for your post. Personally, I write from a position of complete ignorance of what it is to to suffer this disease. Apart from a lack of experience of the condition, I've found it difficult to work out the mechanics of it, from what people say, what I've read and what is posted on this site. Apparently, it's not easy to fully explain being in the midst of it. Alternatively, maybe I'm just a drongo.

One particular comment of yours about depression groups struck a chord with me. I went to visit a bloke in Larundel psychiatric facility about twenty years ago. He suffered badly from schizophrenia. He went off his meds (which rendered him impotent), so he could pursue a sexual relationship with a girl he'd met during a previous, forced committal. Predictably, his mind became 'ratty' and he stabbed each of his parents in the chest with a carving knife, and belted them around the head with a gold chain he'd been wearing. Luckily, they both survived. When I asked him how he was coping with being in the facility, he said (paraphrasing here), "Being surrounded by crazy people makes recovery or control of what's going on in your head more difficult, if not impossible." Now, I know we are discussing two separate conditions here, but what you wrote eloquently expressed some of what I was thinking.

FMD, I've just realised we are talking about talking about, or not talking about, depression. That's how much of a drongo I am, but with such a serious matter, I think it necessary to examine all aspects, including those which seem counter-intuitive and outside mainstream thinking. Sadly, some professionals in this area tend to want to emphasize the efficacy of their particular form of treatment, rather than searching for what is best for the sufferers, which is a whole other nest of worms.

Thanks again. I've found your insights most enlightening.

 

[Procrastinator35]

R U NOT OK?

Can't seem to get the words 'Isaac F#&$ing Smith' out of my mind.

 

[skilts]

I don't think depression begins because you feel s**t and continue to keep feeling s**t because you feel s**t. Depression and feeling low are two completely different things. I like you so I'm not having a go, but it's unfair to bring up your anecdote when heaps of people suffer genuine issues – my problem with depression now is that everyone thinks they've had a brush with it. Quite simply, it is a mental illness and the majority of people have not come into personal contact with it.

You see attention seekers stooping to the lowest common denominator with 'r u okay?' posts on instagram for this day. Then there's some stupid little caption about "I have had my own brushes with the black dog..." it's like **** off, no you haven't; you're 21, hot, you go to Europe for a month every year and life is easy and fun... you felt s**t for six weeks because your boyfriend dumped you. These things really aren't that hard.

FFS there are real sob stories out there and they don't have depression. Some people have awful, tough lives, and they show resilience. That is because they do not have chemical outbalances; they are simply confused and sad. Kids have 1/100th of those dramas and say they're depressed.

It's a joke and days like this just perpetuate it.

An interesting and useful assessment of the realities of the disease.

 

[Silent Alarm]

i do not think you are alone in your assessment there. there is much cynicism and skepticism these days. is it because more footy players are declaring mental illnesses? OR is it because the trailblazers in this industry (thompson et al) made it OK for players to speak up about their lives and hence depression etc?

making mental health more prevalent and at the forefront of society has helped (fundraising and awareness through facebook posts for a day), but has also opened the door for people to use it to their advantage

Footballers use it to their advantage.

Buddy Franklin? Pretty suss. Gary Lyon was just done for being a pantsman and a snake of a friend and ended up crawling away, using his reported issues at a very very convenient time. There are also suss things around Mitch Clarke if you ask me – the bloke only ever cries it when he's wanting to go to another club. For someone so in touch with their feelings, old Clarky sure doesn't give too many *s about many other people.

 

[Run n Spread]

I think everyone reads to much into it. I think it is more about awareness and watching how you treat people as you don't really know their back story.

Besides that what is someone really going to say? No?

 

[Bomberboyokay]

That was me.

10 years ago you never heard of depression/mental health in footy. Nathan Thompson came out and announced he was suffering depression and it was an eye opener. He wasn't out of form or on the trade table or anything, either.

Now it's commonplace.

McCarthy wants out of GWS: depression/mental health.
Franklin: depression/mental health.
Mitch Clark every time things aren't going his way: depression/mental health.
Mitchell Pearce behaves like a goose: depression/mental health.
Etc.

It's pretty tiresome now, and reflective of a society that as a whole is becoming softer over time. It's become a get out clause which is undoing good work done in getting mental health out in the open.

Aside from sportspeople in the public eye, do you know anybody who's used mental health as a shield?

 

[Bomberboyokay]

The worst is Gary Lyon, the bloke is a massive cokehead who puts away his best mate's misses and then goes into hiding and claims depression when people don't want a bar of him anymore. Pleaseeeee.

She wasn't his wife anymore.

 

[Run n Spread]

Sorry but its a load of bullshit. Well meaning bullshit, that is.

Most items of value in society are finite. i.e. Resources, status, beautiful women. Ever since prehistoric times, people have competed to have the lionshare of these items. It is innate in human beings. It's what drives us to work hard in society to get ahead. It's what drives us to spend all our money on "status signalling" consumption items and aesthetics. It's what causes us to bully or be bullied at work, home, school. It's what leads to the winner and loser dynamic that you see in every culture in the world.

I am not saying this is good, but I am saying this is the reality.

So you will never be able to create a social norm where people really, truly support others who are downtrodden. You can force people to be polite in such circumstances, but this will only be out of shame and self-interest. They will still silently bask in schadenfraude and gossip behind that person's back afterwards. Unless they view that person as a complete non-threat, that is. Or unless you are talking in generalisations (i.e. the faceless depressed man) where people can backslap each other without actually doing anything.

You see, people don't share how they truly feel with others because it then becomes a weakness that others can exploit. If you could just share how you felt and there was no consequence afterwards, wouldn't everyone just do it given how cathartic it is? People don't do it because ultimately it is in their self-interest.

We don't need R U OK? days, which is about self congratulation and virtue signalling. People who are downtrodden need to be taught the actual skills to compete in society with their peers who are out-playing them. Or the skills to find happiness with their lot if need be (although that can be a form of exploitation in itself). Only family and close friends and paid professionals, who actually have an interest in helping people, can make that happen. Not the average joe blow who sees them as a threat to his chances to claim resources, status and beautiful women.

That's my rant but I think its true.

PS. In case people misunderstand, I am not saying that sadness = weakness. I am saying that sadness plus expressing that to every Tom, Dick and Harry = inevitable exploitation.

Harshly put. Would love to get on a rant about how much I disagree but a lot is true especially the bold.

I don't think the day is bullshit as it is a positive message and hopefully gets people to think about how they treat others........

But a lot is true in what you say.

 

[Run n Spread]

Ask me now.

R U OK for PF tickets?

 

[skilts]

ASK ME NOW....

Ask me now.

What silly sausages you both are. I love it. BTW, I'm somewhat astounded that the tenor of the three threads on this topic on BF is to treat other posters respectfully, sympathetically, helpfully and with good humour.

 

[Shell]

R U OK for PF tickets?

Yes i OK 4 PF tix (am a melb 11 member)