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Unofficial Preview Roast the Wettoast

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Hi all,
Here we go again...derby time. To be honest I've "got the fear", in regards to this weeks game. But a bit of a pattern has formed regarding our form. Our boys play crap for two weeks then put up a fight on the third week. This is week three. I am a long suffering Docker so optimism rarely runneth over but we're playing the slime and a long over due derby win would be oh so sweet. Now I'm going to try to not get a holiday for what I'm about to write but I'm coming from a place where the hate for all that is blue and yeller is very strong. So beware, you would be well advised to close one eye as you read further.. The stats dont look pretty losing the last 6 and if we could buy some clearances from the centre we might have half a chance. If the hawks game is anything to go by, we are royally fingered. Ross needs to DO SOMETHING to fix this asap. Mundy, Steven Hill and Neale need some help. Darcy need to channel Dale Kicket and give them a solid kick in the gooch. He is the man for the job. I don't care if it ends with him getting weeks...he will be loved buy the faithful forever. I highly recommend starting with Luke Shooeey. Early in the first when he ducks his weaselly mellon to milk a putrid free would be nice. Ross it really is time to take something from the Philippines basketball coaches handbook on tactics and rev our boys right up because all we got left as supporters this year is a chance to ruin the boasters top 2 chance. Robert Walls got it right when he described that maggot crutch club as evil. They are. Kudos to you Rob for calling it as you see it. The VFL ...opps...AFL seem to have some sort of godfather agreement with the slime for proping up the almost bankrupt competition back in the day when they took their coin to enter the comp but fair bloody go...stop handing them wins by allowing crooked umpires to officiiate games for them week after bloody week. It is now common knowledge for all to see. They get half a dozen gifts with the whistle directly in front every damn week. I guess it evens out with the opposition getting some catch up token frees on the wing half way through the last quarter...blimey. i would like to finish this rant with a simple observation. All the tyrants of history over the last few thousand years have used the symbol of an eagle to generate oppression over the masses. But eventually they all crumble and fade away with history vewing them for what they truly are. So in summary ...CARN THE DOCKERS....SMASH THEIR SLIMY CONDICENDING CHARDONY SIPPING FREE KICK MILKING HEAD DUCKING MELONS IN.
 
It’s simple mathematics.

They average 89 we average 71 for points scored.
They average 74 we average 89 for points conceded.

So... based on that very basic metric we lose 89 to 71-74

However, I must place my Freo glasses on when looking beyond just the mathematical facts and stats. I must apply hypotheticals... just cause I know Ross hates them.

Adding Bennell, Taberner and someone else and removing Sutcliffe, Jones and someone else represents roughly a 42 point swing in our scoring.

No JK and Nic Nat sees Eagles value drop roughly 28 points.

So now we have a Eagles score of 61 and Freo score of 111.

But I’m no idiot. It’s an Eagles home game so you have a 12 point swing to each team. Now we’re tightening up at 73-98 but still in Freo’s favour.

We win by 25!

Ohhh. Forgot umpires... if Margett’s umpires that’s a 68 point swing total.

So 107-64 to the Eagles.

Those are the numbers. Take them to the bank.
 

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True Story by a guy I know, involving an A4 printed version of this infamous photograph.

9c3e43974003570f033d7c9d27048f56


"Just went to the airport to welcome West Coast back to Perth after their hard fought 40 point defeat to the Kangaroos. I went up to my hero Jack Darling and asked him to sign this picture of him in action during the 2015 Grand Final. To my horror, he threw my pen down and refused to sign it claiming I was "taking the piss". Perhaps he was upset at his 8 disposal 0 goal performance? Anyway, I explained my distress to another Eagle and Tom Barrass was intoxicated enough to sign the picture.

We should never meet our heroes.
1f622.png


Btw I apologised afterwards and congratulated him on his 8 touches."




 
True Story by a guy I know, involving an A4 printed version of this infamous photograph.

9c3e43974003570f033d7c9d27048f56


"Just went to the airport to welcome West Coast back to Perth after their hard fought 40 point defeat to the Kangaroos. I went up to my hero Jack Darling and asked him to sign this picture of him in action during the 2015 Grand Final. To my horror, he threw my pen down and refused to sign it claiming I was "taking the piss". Perhaps he was upset at his 8 disposal 0 goal performance? Anyway, I explained my distress to another Eagle and Tom Barrass was intoxicated enough to sign the picture.

We should never meet our heroes.
1f622.png


Btw I apologised afterwards and congratulated him on his 8 touches."



Man deserves a statue.
 
True Story by a guy I know, involving an A4 printed version of this infamous photograph.

9c3e43974003570f033d7c9d27048f56


"Just went to the airport to welcome West Coast back to Perth after their hard fought 40 point defeat to the Kangaroos. I went up to my hero Jack Darling and asked him to sign this picture of him in action during the 2015 Grand Final. To my horror, he threw my pen down and refused to sign it claiming I was "taking the piss". Perhaps he was upset at his 8 disposal 0 goal performance? Anyway, I explained my distress to another Eagle and Tom Barrass was intoxicated enough to sign the picture.

We should never meet our heroes.
1f622.png


Btw I apologised afterwards and congratulated him on his 8 touches."




This story is so full of crap.

No way Darling threw the pen down... he would’ve dropped it!
 

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True Story by a guy I know, involving an A4 printed version of this infamous photograph.

9c3e43974003570f033d7c9d27048f56


"Just went to the airport to welcome West Coast back to Perth after their hard fought 40 point defeat to the Kangaroos. I went up to my hero Jack Darling and asked him to sign this picture of him in action during the 2015 Grand Final. To my horror, he threw my pen down and refused to sign it claiming I was "taking the piss". Perhaps he was upset at his 8 disposal 0 goal performance? Anyway, I explained my distress to another Eagle and Tom Barrass was intoxicated enough to sign the picture.

We should never meet our heroes.
1f622.png


Btw I apologised afterwards and congratulated him on his 8 touches."




You had him stumped after asking him to write his name...
 
Update on that bloke's Darling encounter. As he walked past the baggage carousel, JD was passing some bags to a couple of his team-mates. This guy might have been heard to comment in Darling's general direction, "Careful, don't drop it." :D
 
More than happy to prove you lot wrong.

2 weeks ago, No one gave us a chance vs Port. Need to clog it down and Keep it tight.... A forward line of Cox, Jones, Tabs, Walters and Matera/ballantyne might do the trick.
 
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