Society & Culture The BigFooty Guide to getting the woman of Your Desire (Part 7)

[Jimmy1992]

As is, not very trashy at all.

 

[TheFreshBanana]

I thought it was sound advice about being overtly sexual to get out of the friend zone..... until he used that example.

 

[Jimmy1992]

I thought it was sound advice about being overtly sexual to get out of the friend zone..... until he used that example.

Oh, the advice, per se, about being overtly sexual is fine. To get out of the friendzone you have to push the boundaries and make it clear where you stand. So, saying the advice was bad, was, incorrect.
However, that example is awful, to be brutally honest.

 

[checkraiseulite]

The best advice is to never get in the friend zone in the first place.

 

[Jimmy1992]

The best advice is to never get in the friend zone in the first place.

Thus is true, but people can make mistakes. It happens.

 

[checkraiseulite]

Thus is true, but people can make mistakes. It happens.

Such mistakes can be compounded by continuing to throw good money after bad. It's better to learn from your mistakes, not invest further resources in what is likely to be a lost cause.

If you're in the friendzone, 95% of the time, you're deep in the quicksand, and you're only sinking deeper and appearing more pathetic the more you struggle to get out if it.

 

[Jimmy1992]

Such mistakes can be compounded by continuing to throw good money after bad. It's better to learn from your mistakes, not invest further resources in what is likely to be a lost cause.

If you're in the friendzone, 95% of the time, you're deep in the quicksand, and you're only sinking deeper and appearing more pathetic the more you struggle to get out if it.

I agree with you, but there are ways to get out, and I don't think they are as hard as some people claim them to be, depending on people's perception of you. You can do everything right and fall in the friendzone, it does happen. It is those cases that are hard to claw your way back. If you have played the wrong cards it is easier to get out of the friendzone, imo. If you start playing the right cards, then you can turn the tables back to you. The main thing to do is take control of the situation in terms of when you guys talk, what you walk about etc.

A little alcohol and poor judgment never goes astray, either.

 

[ThePuppetMaster]

There is no such thing as the friendzone - if they find you attractive there is always a way around being friends first.

If they don't find you attractive, then there's no chance either way...

 

[Jimmy1992]

There is no such thing as the friendzone - if they find you attractive there is always a way around being friends first.

If they don't find you attractive, then there's no chance either way...

I think there definitely is such thing as the friendzone, I just think in some ways it is completely overstated how dire it is. Yeah, it sucks, but if you are good (enough) looking and she finds you physically attractive, it isn't overly difficult to get out of. It's definitely not the abyss it is made out to be.

 

[I bleed Blue]

Friendzone is a polite way of saying they arn't attracted to you.

 

[Run n Spread]

Friendzone is a polite way of saying they arn't attracted to you.

Yep this. Call it whatever but only ask once. If it is a no move on asap. The persistent suitor is a myth most of the time. If they are playing hard to get or whatever do you really want the drama? Far better chasing someone that is interested and attainable.

 

[Jimmy1992]

Yep this. Call it whatever but only ask once. If it is a no move on asap. The persistent suitor is a myth most of the time. If they are playing hard to get or whatever do you really want the drama? Far better chasing someone that is interested and attainable.

I agree (almost) completely. But, similarly, I think that friendzone is sometimes mistaken to be 'the abyss'. It can be turned around, but not as a persistent suitor. That bit I agree with. It is something that can, not will, turnaround if you actually don't give a shit. If you start chasing her, being that persistent suitor, you might as well put dog shit under your arms and walk round to her place. If you move on and couldn't care in the slightest you won't **** her, you, in a cruel twist of logic, are far more likely to.

 

[Dagless]

I agree (almost) completely. But, similarly, I think that friendzone is sometimes mistaken to be 'the abyss'. It can be turned around, but not as a persistent suitor. That bit I agree with. It is something that can, not will, turnaround if you actually don't give a shit. If you start chasing her, being that persistent suitor, you might as well put dog shit under your arms and walk round to her place. If you move on and couldn't care in the slightest you won't **** her, you, in a cruel twist of logic, are far more likely to.

Two of my close mates just started going out recently - Ridiculously close friends for a few years, neither particularly attracted to one another, then something just happens.

Sounds ghey as fuark, but sometimes you just need to try and get close to somebody for the right reasons rather than for your D's sake.

Bishes love genuine closeness.

Different situation, but you've gotta look at things in perspective.

 

[Zach Package]

I think there definitely is such thing as the friendzone, I just think in some ways it is completely overstated how dire it is. Yeah, it sucks, but if you are good (enough) looking and she finds you physically attractive, it isn't overly difficult to get out of. It's definitely not the abyss it is made out to be.

it's only an abyss if you let it be, as philosophical, cheesy and stupid as it might sound.

Just have to be as blunt as a sledgehammer and tell her what's up.

 

[Jimmy1992]

it's only an abyss if you let it be, as philosophical, cheesy and stupid as it might sound.

Just have to be as blunt as a sledgehammer and tell her what's up.

The friendzone can be an abyss. It is an abyss for that guy who will wait on his new best friend hand and footy. There are two ways to play the friendzone;
1. Be as blunt as you can E.g. as a sledgehammer. Be sexually suggestive, but, you can't message her anytime you think she might be free.
2. The second is to accept that you now have a friend and stop trying to plow her at every opportunity. There is nothing wrong with having a friend whom is a girl. It doesn't mean that you will instantly not have a thing for her anymore, and you may still want to smack dat/wife dat/get into a loving, committed relationship (lol) with dat. But, you have to accept that you might only ever just be friends. If she sees you as a friend, but finds you attractive, and alcohol is in the mix, you might just get to have sex with her as well.

 

[Zach Package]

The friendzone can be an abyss. It is an abyss for that guy who will wait on his new best friend hand and footy. There are two ways to play the friendzone;
1. Be as blunt as you can E.g. as a sledgehammer. Be sexually suggestive, but, you can't message her anytime you think she might be free.
2. The second is to accept that you now have a friend and stop trying to plow her at every opportunity. There is nothing wrong with having a friend whom is a girl. It doesn't mean that you will instantly not have a thing for her anymore, and you may still want to smack dat/wife dat/get into a loving, committed relationship (lol) with dat. But, you have to accept that you might only ever just be friends. If she sees you as a friend, but finds you attractive, and alcohol is in the mix, you might just get to have sex with her as well.

Good summation. There's nothing wrong with female friends, they can make good wingwomen.

She might even just grow out of it as well, hang around long enough and she might learn to like you

 

[Jimmy1992]

Good summation. There's nothing wrong with female friends, they can make good wingwomen.

She might even just grow out of it as well, hang around long enough and she might learn to like you

Yeah, it's not the dire issue that a lot of people make it out to be. The only time it becomes an issue is if it is a person that you simply cannot be friends with due to feelings. If that is the case it is more on the guy as opposed to the situation of being friendzoned.

 

[Doss]

There is definitely such a thing as a friend zone.

It is possible for there to be a parallel where you might find a friend of yours very, very attractive and have fantasies about nailing them, but the fact you've been friends for so long can mean it would just be too, for the want of a better word, 'weird'.

In fact, to take it further, you could even have a situation where not only do you want to get into their pants, but you also reckon they wouldn't be half bad in a relationship sense, either.

But again, in parallel with that, you just know you've been 'just friends' for so long that it's very hard to conceptualise of it happening in practice.

Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but I reckon that's the way it often works.

 

[Cruyff14]

I don't even think the friend zone is that bad tbh, a lot of exaggerating going on in here.

 

[vealesy]

I don't even think the friend zone is that bad tbh, a lot of exaggerating going on in here.

It expands the possibilities.

Friendzoned by the popular girl can do wonders.

 

[Xtreme]

Just a quick straw poll...... i was recently told by a girl to not think about her too much. Initial impression was that she was flirting with me and likes + wants my attention. My other line of thinking is that she maybe wants me to keep my distance and not get too attached to her (ie: her own way of avoiding letting me down in future).

This has heightened the curiosity factor and i would like to explore exactly what she meant by what she said, but at the same time i will probably shoot myself in the foot, regardless of the way i go.

 

[Run n Spread]

Just a quick straw poll...... i was recently told by a girl to not think about her too much. Initial impression was that she was flirting with me and likes + wants my attention. My other line of thinking is that she maybe wants me to keep my distance and not get too attached to her (ie: her own way of avoiding letting me down in future).

This has heightened the curiosity factor and i would like to explore exactly what she meant by what she said, but at the same time i will probably shoot myself in the foot, regardless of the way i go.

Either doesn't want you to get too clingy or is not interested. Probably not interested.

 

[checkraiseulite]

Or she wants you to stop thinking and start acting.

 

[Xtreme]

Well which ever way this goes, it could be an awkward flirting story in the making so it's win - win for bigfooty

 

[Jimmy1992]

Just a quick straw poll...... i was recently told by a girl to not think about her too much. Initial impression was that she was flirting with me and likes + wants my attention. My other line of thinking is that she maybe wants me to keep my distance and not get too attached to her (ie: her own way of avoiding letting me down in future).

This has heightened the curiosity factor and i would like to explore exactly what she meant by what she said, but at the same time i will probably shoot myself in the foot, regardless of the way i go.

I don't know what you said to her, but you should have told her not to flatter herself.