Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 of 2017 - the "finals were better last year" Edition

[sthmelb_dimmies]

The Swans reportedly shopped Kurt around this year and found less enthusiastic suiters than

...than one of Bobby Doyle's staffers?

 

[BEaston]

where everyone got a chance at some point (ok, no more comments about said ex-girlfriend).

haha

 

[Dinsdale]

Player #3 - Kurt Tippett
So Tippett started 2017 with a huge load upon his shoulders, and I don't mean his head. After a woeful performance in the 2016 Grand Final where he was awarded the Leon Davis medal with only perennial underperformer Gary "Hutchence" Rohan as serious competition for the award, expectations were high. Combined with Buddy and Reid, the Swans tall forwards were about as expensive as Hanson and slightly less hard at the ball. What would Kurt do, would he make amends for his 2016 and show everyone what he is capable of? Would he justify his huge salary of $4m over 4 years when he left Adelaide like so many of his ex-teammates before him?

Kurts demise started in 2014, and he has featured in more losing grand finals than I can poke a statistician at.

 

[spenze]

Don't summon the Clementinedevil.

She rides a mighty high horse for someone who contributes nothing

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Based on search interest - Ty drew the most attention over the year. Obviously due to his approach to extra curricular business strategy.

Bar chart on the bottom left can't split Average (dis)interest over time for Mayne or Kurt.

Is Google correct?
View attachment 445935

Can you do that for any search term... like Shakespeare pr0n?

 

[A Scratch Below]

Player 49 - Cyril Rioli


Pictured: Cyril tries to fill the gap at the Hawks left by Sam Mitchell's departure

Ah Cyril. Bruce McAvaney was still losing his s**t over Cyril this year despite his less than stellar form in the first two months.
Not since Gabi Greko walked around Bourke St topless has someone so average received so much undeserved attention.

Cyril had a really, really poor year by his standards. Without a dominant midfield and no longer copping the 4th or 5th best defender, Cyril has been exposed as a 'flash in the pan when everyone else does the heavy lifting' type small forward. Who would have thought getting rid of your two best midfielders would have a negative effect on the team hey?

'Oh, but it's what he does when he doesn't have the ball' the Hawfies will cry. Yeah, well I can not get the ball from the stands, knock over a pie and beer at the halftime break, and not impact on the salary cap in any way. I'll even uber to training if I've had a skinful, wow I'm a good bloke.

Anyway Cyril, constantly nominated (by Hawks fans only) as one of the game's premier small forwards, managed 5 goals 7 behinds this year, less than 8 and a half effective disposals per game and somehow 2 hit outs for the year. "But... but... he provides defensive pressure" which is an interesting defence when you consider he managed only one tackle in total in his last two games for the year (rounds 7 & 8).

"But he brings others into the game"... yeah, with his free tickets perhaps. In only one out of 8 games did he manage any goal assists - so he's either burning his teammates and playing selfishly or... nah, the first explanation is the only one that matters. Someone should really sit him down this off season and explain to Cyril that football is a team sport, like soccer, cricket or a Cronulla Sharks date.

Cyril, the only thing 'delicious' about you this year was the tears of your supporters desperately trying to explain away your drop in output. Welcome to your first entry in a Bottom 50.

Bosk here,

* you Mofra!!! You stupid campaigner!

How can you put a player in who played 6 games!

This list is a joke and I am reporting you

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Didn't Kurt tell Adelaide he wanted to leave because he was homesick, before taking the cash to go somewhere he never lived before.

 

[Mister_Football]

Don't summon the Clementinedevil.

She rides a mighty high horse for someone who contributes nothing

Nothing? Who would tell men they're awful and always wrong if she didn't?

 

[Starburns_]

Nothing? Who would tell men they're awful and always wrong if she didn't?

Their wives?

 

[El Dubya]

Their wives?

Mrs Dub likes this.

 

[Mister_Football]

Their wives?

I'll set em up, you knock em down.

 

[TedDougChris]

Their wives?

That's how it works in my household...

 

[Linda Lovelace]

Didn't Kurt tell Adelaide he wanted to leave because he was homesick, before taking the cash to go somewhere he never lived before.

I don't remember that. But if he did, now he just needs to say he's cracked the sads to get out of his current contract before moving somewhere else again to be eligible for the distinguished Mitch Clarke Best Clubman Award.

 

[bontshow]

You stuffed that one up Mof, I promised myself never to like anything with Clementine Ford in it

 

[benji2]

I don't remember that. But if he did, now he just needs to say he's cracked the sads to get out of his current contract before moving somewhere else again to be eligible for the distinguished Mitch Clarke Best Clubman Award.

I do. A junior with the BRISBANE Bullets and an athlete on the Gold Coast gets homesick for Sydney all of a sudden

On [device_name] using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[leobarryustar]

Kurts demise started in 2014, and he has featured in more losing grand finals than I can poke a statistician at.

2?

 

[BLERN]

2?

In his defense, its pretty hard to poke someone with a statistician.

2 would probably be my limit aswell

 

[Dinsdale]

isn't 2 enough?

 

[largebus]

 

[leobarryustar]

isn't 2 enough?

Well what were you getting at? You need a statistician to count to 2?

 

[SaintsSeptember]

I think it was Tippet's agent who had talked Adelaide into the Salary Cap cheat as well.
Adelaide managed to get penalized for not following the system correctly while NOT ACTUALLY EXCEEDING THE SALARY CAP.

I'm sorry Adelaide have "sucker" written across their foreheads, and Tippet is obviously a man of high integrity.(compared to most Mexican drug cartel members ).

 

[TedDougChris]

In his defense, its pretty hard to poke someone with a statistician.

2 would probably be my limit aswell

Are we talking pencil thin, nasally type statisticians or the more Robbo sized statisticians ??

 

[TedDougChris]

I'm sorry Adelaide have "sucker" written across their foreheads, and Tippet is obviously a man of high integrity.(compared to most Mexican drug cartel members ).

Or recent Essendon coaches....

 

[spenze]

You stuffed that one up Mof, I promised myself never to like anything with Clementine Ford in it

A coffin?

 

[sonnywalters]

Kurts demise started in 2014, and he has featured in more losing grand finals than I can poke a statistician at.

I think his demise started the day after he was drafted by the Crows. That was certainly his peak.