Dad jokes - add yours

[rickety]

What do you call a Greek Skydiver?

... Condescending

Or the famous Greek necrophiliac ....... Fukkakakis


Famous Russian prostitute?


Onya Bakubic

 

[Royal Flush]

We knew this bloke who was half Greek and half aboriginal.
His name was Yasu Yindi

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[Waynesworld]

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who sits at your front door?
Matt

What do you call a man with no legs or arms in you pool?
Bob

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who rolls around in your garden?
Russell

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who hangs on your wall?
Art

 

[RobZombie]

What do you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns?





Go for the juggler.

 

[danj]

What do you do if you see a spaceman?

Park in it man!

 

[Warrboy]

A couple were having kiss and cuddle in front of a fire one night when the woman stopped and said "why am I like the fire?"
"I don't know" said the man
"Because I am so bright"
The couple continued to kiss and cuddle for some time before the man said "why am I like the fire?"
"I don't know" said the woman
"Because if I don't soon get a poke and I am going to go out"

 

[DarkPhoenix]

What do you call a Greek Skydiver?

... Condescending

What do you call a snobby prisoner travelling down stairs?

A condescending con descending.

 

[Gippy Roo]

What do you call a room full of Collingwood supporters?

Answer: A full set of teeth.


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[DarkPhoenix]

What do you call a psychic midget who just recently broke out of gaol?

A small medium at large

 

[Dirty_11]

What do vegetarian dingoes eat?
Cabbage patch kids.

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[ansonholt]

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who sits at your front door?
Matt

What do you call a man with no legs or arms in you pool?
Bob

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who rolls around in your garden?
Russell

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who hangs on your wall?
Art

What do you call Art's legs and arms on the other wall?
Pieces of Art

What do you call an Irishman who bounces off walls?
Rick O'Shea

[My all time favourite]
What do you call an Irishman who sits immobilised on his verandah?
Paddy O'Furniture

 

[Luke72]

Did ya hear about the circumcision doctor? He slipped and got the sack

 

[sheridan]

how does an elephant cry?





sits on his arse and balls

 

[Gippy Roo]

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[Gippy Roo]

https://twitter.com/DadsPuns?s=17


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[DarkPhoenix]

Did ya hear about the circumcision doctor? He slipped and got the sack

His pay sucked but at least he got to keep the tips

 

[Orange Peanut]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh

 

[roos_fanatic08]

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who sits at your front door?
Matt

What do you call a man with no legs or arms in you pool?
Bob

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who rolls around in your garden?
Russell

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who hangs on your wall?
Art

What do you call a woman in the distance?
Dot.

What do you call a lady who hangs in the middle tennis courts?
Annette

What do you call a man with a shovel? Doug.

What do you call a man without a shovel?
Douglas.

What do you call the non-religious man?
Godfrey.

 

[Luke72]

What do you call a man with a gun?
Sir

 

[rickety]

What do you call a man in jail?

Anything you want

How about the Irish magician that couldn't pull a rabbit from his hat, but he could pluck a hare (hair) from his arse

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Barman goes "why the long face" :--- D

For those that know English football ....... The home of Sheffield United, Bramall Lane, was broken into overnight, with the contents of their trophy room being stolen. South Yorkshire Police are on the lookout for some red and white carpet! hahahahahahaha they ain't won nothing!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

[DarkPhoenix]

Recently I attended an interview for a new job that I was keen for.

The interviewer asked me: "Can you perform under pressure?"

I thought for a second and replied: "Honestly, I don't know it that well, but I'll have a fair crack at Bohemian Rhapsody"

 

[Val Keating]

Apparently the people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones,
but the people in Abu Dhabi do.

 

[ferball]

What do you call a Greek Skydiver?

... Condescending

What about the Greek electrician - Confused.

The really old Greek guy, Concrete.

The Greek boxer - Conduct.

The Greek Lawyer - Contort.

I used to go out with a Greek chick and she loved those jokes. If we ever catch up and do it for old times sake I've got a new one.


The Greek who started 4chan - Control.

 

[big_e]

Angela Merkel turns up at Athens Airport.
'Nationality?' asks the immigration officer.
'German,' she says.
'Occupation?'
'No, just here for a few days.'

 

[darko]

What do you call it when Batman skips the church?

Christian Bale