Education & Reference Excellent antics at school

[SweetLeftFoot]

One of the few things I envy the younger generation for is all these websites now where kids can totally pay out on teachers and ambush them and tape it and generally take classroom annoyance to a new level.

In my day, we didn't have that. It was sort of like 'Once the bell goes, bets are off'.

I've always thought **** that. Hence my jealousy of modern teacher trolls.

Anyway, post here stories of school/uni antics, especially those involving shitting up teachers.

For example:

My Year 10 maths teacher Mr Keyte was - and almost certainly still is - a prick of the highest order. First day of Year 10 maths he goes 'In case anyone is wondering, yes, Jennifer Keyte is my cousin'.

Anyway, maths never being my strong suit and my discovery of weed combined to mean I got something like 9 per cent for the first term of maths. He totally paid me out to my folks at parent teacher night. I mean sure, I was failing, but he made it really personal. My folks had heard a lot of shit about me at parent teacher nights over the years but this just took the cake.

I immediately plotted revenge, vbiding my time. I even made sure to pass a test or two in order to cover my tracks a bit.

Then he made the mistake of announcing that his missus had just had a baby.

So I spent the next months ringing him at like 3AM. No pattern to it, being smart enough to sneak out of the house and use local phoneboxes. Occasionally I'd let two weeks pass with no call. Then BANG! Three calls within an hour every night for a week.

The best ones were when I could hear the newborn child crying in the background, knowing I had woken it and that his night was ****ed.

I went on to fail Year 10 maths abysmally. But every time I failed a test and he tried to pay me out, seeing his red bleary eyes and noting how irritable and tired he was made it all better.

 

[coke_zero]

so what happened when you failed yr 10 maths, as i am about to fail it with one term left to try and just pass.

 

[ThePuppetMaster]

so what happened when you failed yr 10 maths, as i am about to fail it with one term left to try and just pass.

who cares??? its year 10!!! if your failing maths don't do it next year, and if your only doing maths to get into a career, you should consider changing thoughts

just saying this cos im doing year 12, and some of my mates have done that, they hate maths but are excited to do engineering..... which is basically all maths

 

[ThePuppetMaster]

anyway a good antic at school, excellent in fact was done by year 12's at my school (carey) last year

the librarians are the biggest bitches, you literally cannot talk louder than a whisper in the library anymore otherwise you get banned from it.

Anyway these blokes got a few old books together and took about 30 of them into the library and placed them on shelves, one day they all ran in in masks grabbed the books and started ripping pages out and tearing them, etc.

The librarian started crying which was ****ing hilarious, thats the story

 

[Ricketts]

There was a period towards the end of primary school, where our diaries had a library barcode stuck in to the back of them, so we could "self-serve" when borrowing books.

So we'd just take someone's diary, borrow a bunch of books under his name, then hide the books underneath/behind shelves.

 

[BACCS]

I kinda like the new SLF, he seems a reformed man.

 

[coke_zero]

alright ill give it a crack, this one teacher always makes us throw out our gum and she has probably made me waste around $300 on gum probably more. and the last day before the term ended we brought in all this food like biscuits, lollies, chips, fizzy and she slowly confiscated it as she kept finding it and she pretty much took it all then at the end of the lesson it was all in a plastic bag up the front we took it and run out then at lunch time went up to the teachers lounge and we asked for her and we showed her the bag as i think she forgot about it then the 3 of us bailed so hard. Still one more term to go with her.

 

[rofltown]

lol thats hilarious
you should probably take his name down tho

 

[Jaeger]

That is funny, but as if you could be stuffed getting up at 3am all the time to ring him.

You would have been just a tired as he was.

 

[Mattman93]

alright ill give it a crack, this one teacher always makes us throw out our gum and she has probably made me waste around $300 on gum probably more. and the last day before the term ended we brought in all this food like biscuits, lollies, chips, fizzy and she slowly confiscated it as she kept finding it and she pretty much took it all then at the end of the lesson it was all in a plastic bag up the front we took it and run out then at lunch time went up to the teachers lounge and we asked for her and we showed her the bag as i think she forgot about it then the 3 of us bailed so hard. Still one more term to go with her.

You sound like the biggest sped.

 

[ballanFYNE]

My Maths teacher that i had previously was a gun. We always talked about Footy. There was this one kid in our class that is just weird. Annoying, but he doesn't try, he is just weird. He has anger problems (so i think) and he used to be stupid to me and my mate. He told us that both our hair cuts looked like a bush that has been r*ped too many times. We called him a lady (simple but effective) and he went nuts. He Picked up my mate and pushed him into the teachers table (which snapped ) then the teacher was yelling at him and all that kind of stuff. He then went onto me (just for calling him a lady) and picked up a chair and threw it at me. Missed everyone but was dangerous. The funny thig was, he said he hates me but tried to sit next to me every oppurtunity he got. Everyone around school takes the Piss with him, and he doesn't get it. He thinks he is the biggest lady man.

 

[Stats Man]

Some of my best memories are from school antics. The audacity of some kids was awesome.

In year 9 (probably one of the peak years for stupidity), we had this teacher we thought was pretty damn old (when in fact he was probably...70?) and spoke really slowly and had these funny ways about him. In time we got to appreciate how funny and what a good bloke he really was, but in year 9 it was just chaos with him. One kid brought a cap gun to school and pretended to fire it at him. But he didn't notice.

In the same class, there were tinted windows at waist height for those walking past on the path outside. One time, a teacher who was fairly odd walked past, and the kid sitting next to the window stuck his hand out and grabbed her jacket. She had this really deep voice, and she jumped going 'oh my!'. Sounds pretty small, but maybe you just had to be there. Funny as.

There was also stacks-on on the bus. It used to get pretty willing in there. The record was 23 people at once. Another time a kid let off a stinkbomb on the bus when it was packed on a 35+ degree day. Mayhem.

Finally, we had this really tense and odd maths teacher in years 7-8. In year 8, he used to go on about having to 'circle the X' and 'ALWAYS put in the = sign' (to do with algebra, not my strength let's just say). There was one day where you could feel the tension in the room, the whole class was backed up against him and trying to poke him until he cracked it. He was staring the class down after it had been talking before a kid put his hand up with a half giggle. He says 'Oh what is it now Ben?', with the kid saying 'Ah I think you've forgotton the equals sign' (on the whiteboard). The class giggles, and he turns around, has one look at the board, looks back at the class (everyone's silently thinking YES!) before grabbing the whiteboard marker like he was holding onto a bar, rather than a texta, and drove the marker onto the whiteboard to write the = sign. With the first stroke, everyone laughed (and it made this really squeaky, angry noise), he stopped, and did the 2nd stroke. Everyone laughed again. Was hilarious at the time.

The same teacher a few years later used to write on a whiteboard with an obvious black dot marked somewhere on it which couldn't be removed. Every time he wrote up an equasion, for some stupid reason it would always be somewhere near this dot. This would prompt people to knowingly ask 'is that an 11 or a 1.1?'. Finally he cracked it, resting his arm on the whiteboard and his head on his arm for about 5-6sec before turning around and screaming 'IT'S A DINT IN THE GODDAMN BOARD!'.

 

[r dub 19]

This was a favourite past time of mine. The best thing we ever did was in Information technology. We had a beast of a teacher, she was like a grizzly bear with a dudes voice. We all questioned whether or not she was a man.

Anyway there were about 30 computers in the room with 5 or so not being used by students. When she went out of the room a few of us logged on with this losers' account IIRC his password was "bonerman". We then went into microsoft powerpoint and made slideshows with as many noises as possible, with sounds from cow moos to truck horns. We then turned the monitor off and set the slideshow to play in a minute or so. The sounds started off very slow and quiet before you just heard a massive MOOOOOOOOOOOO and that is when the whole class just lost it laughing. The teacher flipped out every time but could never find out who was responsible.

 

[coke_zero]

You sound like the biggest sped.

Add something to the thread or gtfo.

Another time a kid let off a stinkbomb on the bus when it was packed on a 35+ degree day. Mayhem.

When i first got into high school in summer someone would let one off everyday on the bus. Also you cant move at all since there is about 100 kids squeezed onto the one bus.

 

[smiddaz123]

Cooking was the best class ever. I can't remember a single class where the teacher didn't get pissed off.

Favourite memory was probably when I pissed off this dude working next to me and my partner. The two sinks were joined, so if you blew down one of the holes, the pressure went up the other. While the guy was unclogging his drain, he had his face bent down near his sink hole, so I ran over and blew as hard down the sink as I could so all the soggy food hit him in the face. Was actually surprised how well the food shot out of the sink.

 

[Pumbi]

In Grade 11 we had a bit of a war with the teachers. It revolved around Mario Kart. We had the emulator shiz on the School Computers and usually a gang of about 8 of us would play most lunch times in the winter when it was waayyy too cold outside. So, it would be four to a computer, 2 keyboards (One would use the arrows and the other would use A,S,W,D) and we would complete a tournament within lunch time. Was an epic time killer. A bit off topic but I was Peach, and she is supremely underrated. Was late to the party so all the good characters were gone; blessing in disguise. Run amok with that hottie.

Anyway, back to the saga. Teachers began to catch on when they noticed swarms of teenagers occupying the labs at Lunch Time. Their first step was to give us the glare, before telling us to either do some work or get out. As we continued our merry way, their next method of prohibition were signs in the Computer Labs saying 'NO GAMES'. However, there were a number of 'hidden' computer labs that no one frequented. Science was never used, and Housing and Design was always abandoned. We thought we had hit gold. But alas, teachers began popping up (A snitch in the group?). At this point, Mario Kart was more than a game; it was an addiction. It became so bad that a dedicated group of us began wagging class/utilising free periods to complete tournaments. The theory behind this was that teachers were busy teaching, allowing us to do as we will. However, teachers have free periods too. Marauding teachers would constantly catch us out. 'Shouldn't you be in class? This is the 4th time i've caught you guys out, I don't want to see you playing that game ever again.'

Things then got srs. Anyone who has had an addiction knows how hard is to break. This was no different. Our persistance was brave, but how long could we last? Well, we got our answer on a Monday Lunch Time. We vacated the Graphic Design Lab, checked that the coast was clear and sat down to play. My mate went to unplug a keyboard from another computer so we could begin.

'Its locked.'
'What do you mean its locked? How do you lock a keyboard?'

The teachers had barred the USB Ports at the back of the computer so that you couldn't access them. One mate nearly broke down as we came to the sudden realisation that we had played our last Four Player Mario Kart Tournament.

 

[Powerade 08]

Anyone have a teacher go off at them when they were really pissed?

We had an older lady, substitute teacher who called us "Small penises" because we wouldn't shut up. Another told me to "F$%* off"

 

[Johnson#26]

On our bus, there used to be no stopping points, just the station and that was it. One day we had a new driver, and as we turned out of the school and onto the road, someone accidently leant on the button and off went the bell. No one thought anything of it. But the driver stopped at the first public bus stop on the road. Everyone went quiet before one guy yelled out WTF drive the bus DRIVE THE BUUUUSSS! So he took off, but one guy had the brainwave to press it again. So the driver pulled over and stopped at the next one 100m up the road. Everyone groooaaaaanned. And so it continued all the way home. The driver said nothing and everyone went berserk lol. This happened a few years later on another bus with someone pressing the button for every stop but no one getting off resulting in the driver getting out of his seat and screaming at everyone that THEYRE ALL GONNA GET OFF THIS BUS IF SOMEONE PRESSES IT AND DOESNT GET OFF AGAIN! lol

 

[Pumbi]

Oh and one that I didn't do but was funny but so so so harsh at the time.

In cooking we made Christmas Cakes. You know, those fancy ones covered in White Icing. They took a couple of days to set or whatever with all the icing etc. So, we finished them in our Tuesday Class and were going to finalise them in our Thursday Class. Anyway, so in our class was this pretty fat chick (Obviously has a passion for the course) who has a bit of a pig nose. So, we rock up on Thursday to check out how our cakes went. We all get ours before we hear this scream. I am probably the furthest away from the action, so before I get there I begin to hear murmors. I peak over the crowd to see what all the commotion is. On the table is Fatty's cake. Blotched over the Pristine White cake, in red icing, the words, 'You look like a fat pig.'

No one ever fessed up.

 

[Powerade 08]

On our bus, there used to be no stopping points, just the station and that was it. One day we had a new driver, and as we turned out of the school and onto the road, someone accidently leant on the button and off went the bell. No one thought anything of it. But the driver stopped at the first public bus stop on the road. Everyone went quiet before one guy yelled out WTF drive the bus DRIVE THE BUUUUSSS! So he took off, but one guy had the brainwave to press it again. So the driver pulled over and stopped at the next one 100m up the road. Everyone groooaaaaanned. And so it continued all the way home. The driver said nothing and everyone went berserk lol. This happened a few years later on another bus with someone pressing the button for every stop but no one getting off resulting in the driver getting out of his seat and screaming at everyone that THEYRE ALL GONNA GET OFF THIS BUS IF SOMEONE PRESSES IT AND DOESNT GET OFF AGAIN! lol

haha, that Billy Madison scene comes to mind.

 

[SHAKESPEARE]

My school antics were cruel and appalling. I am now receiving karma as a substitute teacher

 

[TheStinger]

Anyone have a teacher go off at them when they were really pissed?

We had an older lady, substitute teacher who called us "Small penises" because we wouldn't shut up. Another told me to "F$%* off"

I don't remember the entire story as it was a while ago but my Year 9 history teacher, who I think was old enough to have been around when the stuff he was teaching was current events, was going off at me for some reason, I probably didn't do an assignment or was being a dick in class, whatever and I had a short fuse so I picked my desk up and threw it at him, well in his general direction anyway. Have no idea how I didn't hit anyone with it.

Anyway he got the shits with me and grabbed my upper arm and literally threw me out of class. The next day I had this massive bruise on my arm which my mum saw. I told her that he had grabbed me (not sure if I told her the entire story at the time) so she went down to the school for some vengeance. The whole story came out but he still copped his whack for grabbing me.

At the end of the year he put in for retirement. Oh well, hope he is happy wherever he is now.

 

[foley_falcon]

Pumbi's story reminds me of a craze that went through our school but not with Mario Kart, it was Peggle.

Also a story about Cooking class comes to mind. In year 7, one of my mates hated the teacher and the teacher hated him. The teacher decided on this day that he wasn't allowed to take the cake he cooked home, instead the teachers in the staff room would enjoy it because he was misbehaving during the theory part of the class. To get revenge he pissed in the cooking mixture, cooked it and then gave it to the teachers to enjoy. The cake turned out pretty good in the end but not sure how it tasted.

 

[Rise_up_Stiffy]

These stories are depressing. I'm a 24 year old teacher. I bust my ass to help kids to well at school and get an education. Some of the shit that we have to deal with is ridiculous. I work at a pretty good school and all the pranks I've had to deal with are pretty light hearted and good natured, and that's cool. I'm all for having fun. But having some ****wit throw a desk at me? **** that. I wish that teacher did more than bruise your arm. There's so many punks out there. Bring back the cane I say.

PS 98% of the students I teach are awesome, I don't have a view that all students are shits, but theres a few kids that need some serious discipline.

 

[TheStinger]

These stories are depressing. I'm a 24 year old teacher. I bust my ass to help kids to well at school and get an education. Some of the shit that we have to deal with is ridiculous. I work at a pretty good school and all the pranks I've had to deal with are pretty light hearted and good natured, and that's cool. I'm all for having fun. But having some ****wit throw a desk at me? **** that. I wish that teacher did more than bruise your arm. There's so many punks out there. Bring back the cane I say.

PS 98% of the students I teach are awesome, I don't have a view that all students are shits, but theres a few kids that need some serious discipline.

If I had my time over again I wouldn't have done half the shit I did back then. I was a bit of a......special kid. I had issues with authority and a massive attitude so my way of dealing with things was to make it worse.

I'm all better now though, thanks for asking.