Roast Grumpy Old Thread- 10k posts of whinging

[Shermanator]

We need a cafe that serves great coffee and plays Motorhead

There's definitely a market for that BS.

 

[DarkPhoenix]

Reviewing for front foot no balls after a wicket. Since when has this not been the umpies' job at the point of delivery?

Brought this up in the cricket thread, they always review Australias wickets like they're trying to let the opposition off the hook by finding a no ball.

Rarely review it when it's one of our blokes that is out.

 

[DarkPhoenix]

People that take Learner drivers out on high traffic road areas before they're ready.

Theres a road that I have to take to my girlfriends thats about 20k long, no other ways you can go.

Got stuck behind three motorbike riders (full licence in front and back and Learner shielded between them) doing 60k in the 80 areas and 70-80k in the 100 areas for the entire journey, and then at the end of it they went to go around a roundabout and the learner stalled on the massive turning circle.

I've had my bike license before, if you can't take a roundabout without stalling you shouldn't be out on those roads at 6pm slowing down the rest of the traffic doing 20k below the speed limit.

 

[Twinkletoes]

Yesterday I had this idiot determined to get in front of me in the right lane so she cuts me off as I was approaching causing me to brake pretty hard and then proceeded to drive at 10 ks below the limit. You ******* selfish campaigner. Got caught for about 3 ks behind the clown.

I'm not sure how to label what I saw on Friday arvo when driving home from the office along the Monash, having passed AAMI Park and the bridge over Punt Rd, but I suppose I can say that my version of a grumpy old man saw an even grumpier much older man get his comeuppance.

I was slowly descending the single lane bridge in heavy traffic watching the Punt Rd entrance traffic outbound merging into our queue of cars and trucks one by one. Then there was this one old bloke in a Commodore, with an equally old passenger alongside him, who was right up the clacker of the young buck's car in front, with both hoping to merge into our lane. In front of me was a big Kenworth truck without a trailer attached. The truck driver seemed to be happily inviting the young bloke into the lane in front of him, no worries there, but all the while the old bloke decided "f*** this, I'm not going to sit behind the truck!" So, pushing forward as if forcing his way in would work, and completely ignoring the fact the truck driver wouldn't have even seen him in his blind spot, I thought to myself "Errrrrrrrrr you're gonna lose this argument champ, so I suggest you give up quickly before your lane comes to an end."

Nup. The twat pushed on, virtually touching his front bumper on the rear of the young bloke's car and WHACK, the truck virtually wiped out the front right quarter panel, driver's side door and front end as they inevitably came together.

Both pulled to the side to exchange heated words and details and, me being a grumpy bastard myself who had the clear option to stop and provide my own details as a corroborating witness, I cruised on happily into the weekend. Even happier knowing I no longer sat behind a truck in peak hour traffic on the packed freeway myself.

 

[DarkPhoenix]

What always gets me when I'm in melbourne is the whole hook turn thing. I know it works but it seems so complicated and unnecessary.

Best thing I ever saw was a couple of young chicks pulled in to do a hook turn, taxi driver took the orange light (couldn't stop safely) and the "hookers" started to turn

BOOM huge collision 2 meters from me.

Chicks got out of the car, one of them obviously smashed and blasted the poor taxi driver even though (in my opinion) they were clearly in the wrong.

Screaming about how it was a new car, which by my judgement was now totalled. fair bit of damage.

 

[Shermanator]

As I get older I feel Aussie mateship is dying; The old look out for each other trait.

Some workplaces actually encourage you to dob in a mate now and give bonuses accordingly. Disgraceful!

 

[blackshadow]

There's definitely a market for that BS.

Grumpy Caf [emoji1]

 

[Twinkletoes]

What always gets me when I'm in melbourne is the whole hook turn thing. I know it works but it seems so complicated and unnecessary.

Best thing I ever saw was a couple of young chicks pulled in to do a hook turn, taxi driver took the orange light (couldn't stop safely) and the "hookers" started to turn

BOOM huge collision 2 meters from me.

Chicks got out of the car, one of them obviously smashed and blasted the poor taxi driver even though (in my opinion) they were clearly in the wrong.

Screaming about how it was a new car, which by my judgement was now totalled. fair bit of damage.

It's necessary due to the trams. Pre hook turns the right turn'ers would block the trams off and cause the entire road system in the centre of the city to clog up and go nowhere. It's piss easy as long as everyone's doing it correctly and, as you illustrate, there will always be a car (usually a taxi, no offence Gifo) making the Dandy Dollar Dash through an amber or red light to be wary of. Those "hookers" you mentioned obviously hadn't learnt that lesson yet.

 

[see see]

It's necessary due to the trams. Pre hook turns the right turn'ers would block the trams off and cause the entire road system in the centre of the city to clog up and go nowhere. It's piss easy as long as everyone's doing it correctly and, as you illustrate, there will always be a car (usually a taxi, no offence Gifo) making the Dandy Dollar Dash through an amber or red light to be wary of. Those "hookers" you mentioned obviously hadn't learnt that lesson yet.

I doubt anyone born after about 1972 would have any clue what this reference means. Nice one Toes

 

[Twinkletoes]

I doubt anyone born after about 1972 would have any clue what this reference means. Nice one Toes

Us grumpy old men have our own code see see. It's a way of weeding out the young infidels posing as grumpy old men.

 

[Gasometer]

Hook turns...my advice is wait until that orange goes red because campaigners run orange lights...anyone toots me from behind this is what they get...

 

[Gasometer]

Geez, Peaches Geldof found dead.

Any doubters, see the 'You Might Also Like' below.

It appears now and then.

 

[IschenkoUBeauty]

Geez, Peaches Geldof found dead.

Any doubters, see the 'You Might Also Like' below.

It appears now and then.

She died last year.

 

[Gasometer]

She died last year.

No it says 'Peaches Geldof found dead at 25'.

Has told me that all weekend.

Very sad.

 

[DarkPhoenix]

No it says 'Peaches Geldof found dead at 25'.

Has told me that all weekend.

Very sad.

This is why i run an https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/account/upgrades .

 

[Gasometer]

This is why i run an https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/account/upgrades .

I don't mind them...some of them are interesting.

But that one is dumb dumb.

 

[naturally north]

The missus and I were standing within 5 metres of the Foo Fighters' stage at Jihad surrounded by people who spent the entire 3 hours looking up to their filming phone screens. Madness!

As for the rest of the thread, I'm developing RSI of the neck from nodding in a knowing way so that well and truly marks me as a grumpy old man.

Driving at 60kph on the Monash Freeway behind a conga line of B-Double trucks in the right lane this morning reminded me of another pet hate BTW. F*** off out of the fast lane you selfish turkeys!

I think you and I both missed the email....

Freakin hate those campaigners that sit in the right hand lane all ****en day. Am fairly confident that those pricks get home of a night and say, shit, a guy passed me today and I think he had a turn behind the wheel.

**** off!

 

[Passmore]

Woolworths is not a playground.

 

[ShinbonerBaz]

New shirt

 

[Only Forwards]

Us grumpy old men have our own code see see. It's a way of weeding out the young infidels posing as grumpy old men.

Define young

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Define young

24 and under.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

 

[Gasometer]

Define young

Anyone who was not alive when the trots were on Saturday night tv on Ch 7.

 

[Lorne Malvo]

People who want to talk to me when I'm working shit me. Read the ques people and **** off. I don't care where you're next holiday is and I certainly don't give a rats arse about your pets health condition.