News Melbourne player accused of sexual assault

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Demon 16

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What would you recommend the young lady who has accused the Melbourne player of sexual assault have done differently? If you're going to apply the "same principle" attitude to the Broad photo incident as you are to a break-and-enter then surely you have an opinion on what she should do differently next time. It's victim blaming, plain and simple.
He hasn’t said anything about her because we don’t have any information about this alleged incident.

There is a difference between victim blaming, and suggesting that someone use a few street smarts to help avoid getting into a situation you would rather not be in.

You’re trying to troll Cannon82 into making a nasty comment, but it’s not working - he’s too smart for you.

Go fishing elsewhere.
 

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Bluelegs

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Do you lock your house when you leave it and no one else is home?
Do you lock your car?
Do you leave your wallet, phone, laptop, etc lying around in public and wander off?

Same principle. You're not the one who has done the wrong thing, but if you didn't want your **** stolen then I have a few suggestions for you.
I get what you're saying, it's a risk to take any intimate photos and share them with anyone because no one knows what might happen in the future that could lead to those pictures getting out, but as a society we should not be shaming people for taking that risk with someone they trusted. If you give your house key to a close friend of yours, someone you trust to take care of it, should you then be shamed if they went behind your back, cut a bunch of copies for their mates, and then you got robbed by people you've never met?

If we get to a point where we have to take so many precautions to ensure something private doesn't end up in the wrong hands then we essentially make that act illegal.
 
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Rockford

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He hasn’t said anything about her because we don’t have any information about this alleged incident.

There is a difference between victim blaming, and suggesting that someone use a few street smarts to help avoid getting into a situation you would rather not be in.

You’re trying to troll Cannon82 into making a nasty comment, but it’s not working - he’s too smart for you.

Go fishing elsewhere.
Not at all. How is it not victim blaming?

I’m just asking him how he can apply his comments to a break and enter, car theft and sharing an intimate photo with someone but not to a sexual assault. And if you really want to know my motivation, my sister has been sexually assaulted. And on more than one occasion people have relayed the attitude that “if she just hadn’t been out drinking with her friends then none of this would have happened”. I’ll stand by my comment.
 

Topkent

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Not at all. How is it not victim blaming?

I’m just asking him how he can apply his comments to a break and enter, car theft and sharing an intimate photo with someone but not to a sexual assault. And if you really want to know my motivation, my sister has been sexually assaulted. And on more than one occasion people have relayed the attitude that “if she just hadn’t been out drinking with her friends then none of this would have happened”. I’ll stand by my comment.
Sorry mate but that's a different scenario. Being naked in front of a camera by choice isn't comparable to sexual harrasment.

If I had a daughter I'd be telling her not to send photos to anyone she wouldn't be happy with other people seeing. Basically don't be stupid.
 

demondavey

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I get what you're saying, it's a risk to take any intimate photos and share them with anyone because no one knows what might happen in the future that could lead to those pictures getting out, but as a society we should not be shaming people for taking that risk with someone they trusted. If you give your house key to a close friend of yours, someone you trust to take care of it, should you then be shamed if they went behind your back, cut a bunch of copies for their mates, and then you got robbed by people you've never met?

If we get to a point where we have to take so many precautions to ensure something private doesn't end up in the wrong hands then we essentially make that act illegal.
I don't know if she knew him that well to be honest
 

demondavey

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Sorry mate but that's a different scenario. Being naked in front of a camera by choice isn't comparable to sexual harrasment.

If I had a daughter I'd be telling her not to send photos to anyone she wouldn't be happy with other people seeing. Basically don't be stupid.
I have a daughter, and those messages will be made very clearly, as will many others. Education for both young men and women is very important.
 

Demon 16

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Not at all. How is it not victim blaming?

I’m just asking him how he can apply his comments to a break and enter, car theft and sharing an intimate photo with someone but not to a sexual assault. And if you really want to know my motivation, my sister has been sexually assaulted. And on more than one occasion people have relayed the attitude that “if she just hadn’t been out drinking with her friends then none of this would have happened”. I’ll stand by my comment.
I'm sorry to hear about your personal situation. Without knowing the details (and I don't suggest that we discuss it further here), it is abhorrent and I am both disgusted and angered.

Don't presume you are the only person here that might have been affected by such an instance though. And please be careful not to conflate anyone's comments around precautionary behaviors, and victim blaming. They are 2 different things.

Given the emotive nature of this topic for you, I propose that we close our conversation down at this point, other than to agree that sexual harassment or indecent behavior is disgusting and wrong, and nobody should be blamed other than the person who committed the indecent act/behavior. We are side by side here.
 

demondavey

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You're right. You don't know.

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Oh get off you're high horse FFS..... there are two people involved and maybe she should've been a bit more careful flashing her carriage in front of his I phone. He is a total moron for what he did, and lucky he hasn't been charged, but come on, regardless of whether she knew him well or not you need to take some ownership for your actions.
 

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Cannon82

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What would you recommend the young lady who has accused the Melbourne player of sexual assault have done differently? If you're going to apply the "same principle" attitude to the Broad photo incident as you are to a break-and-enter then surely you have an opinion on what she should do differently next time. It's victim blaming, plain and simple.
I believe you mean "alleged" and "victim", unless you know something else? I don't know the details of that one, so I'll just suggest she goes to a nunnery.
 

Cannon82

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I get what you're saying, it's a risk to take any intimate photos and share them with anyone because no one knows what might happen in the future that could lead to those pictures getting out, but as a society we should not be shaming people for taking that risk with someone they trusted. If you give your house key to a close friend of yours, someone you trust to take care of it, should you then be shamed if they went behind your back, cut a bunch of copies for their mates, and then you got robbed by people you've never met?

If we get to a point where we have to take so many precautions to ensure something private doesn't end up in the wrong hands then we essentially make that act illegal.
Is there any indication she was a close friend of the guy? By your analogy, it's more like she lent her house keys to a rock star she just met and had a thing for.
 

Cannon82

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Not at all. How is it not victim blaming?

I’m just asking him how he can apply his comments to a break and enter, car theft and sharing an intimate photo with someone but not to a sexual assault. And if you really want to know my motivation, my sister has been sexually assaulted. And on more than one occasion people have relayed the attitude that “if she just hadn’t been out drinking with her friends then none of this would have happened”. I’ll stand by my comment.
Bless you, sweet child. May you never need to take precautions in life and may every action you take play out precisely as intended.

While we're on the subject, don't you find it utterly disgusting how people blame car accident victims? Why should they wear seatbelts if they've done nothing wrong???
 

WolfgangV

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Do you lock your house when you leave it and no one else is home?
Do you lock your car?
Do you leave your wallet, phone, laptop, etc lying around in public and wander off?

Same principle. You're not the one who has done the wrong thing, but if you didn't want your **** stolen then I have a few suggestions for you.
And if someone is foolish enough to not lock their house when no one is home does that diminish the culpability of the person who commits theft by entering that house and making off with assorted items? They have still committed a crime irrespective of the circumstances that allowed them to do it. The concern beyond the criminal act is that so many people have an automatic knee-jerk reaction to seek to wave away the crime by focusing their criticism on the victim, and justifying this attitude because the victim may not have been as wise, or cynical, or untrusting, or even just as experienced as some would think they should have been.

Unfortunately this attitude is still quite common, especially in matters of sexual assault. But fortunately, as we have recently seen, things are changing.
 
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