Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 of 2013 ***TOTY 2013***

[Mofra]

Ok, so September is almost upon us which means football is almost over. Ahem.

Anyways while many famous media icons prefer to blow smoke up the collective arses of players who probably don't deserve it, we at the Bay 13 Department of Keeping Things Real understand that for every Tom Liberatore, Gary Ablett or Ryan Griffen, there is an uber-spud whose time, effort and failure to live up to the opportunities grated to them should cause supporters to demand their membership dollars back.

This is a celebration of those for whom mediocrity is a level they have failed to achieve, whose misdeed make the rest of us non-professionals feel better about ourselves. This is the bottom 50.

The rules:

- My listings are final. If you disagree with me, you are wrong.
- The order is (basically) sorted already.
- Players with less than 20 games in total are excluded.
- Ideally, a player has spent 3 years or longer on an AFL list.
- Weightings have been granted for those who are over-rated, over paid, are noted squibs and who are overtly Gen Z.
- Votes for Jack Watts will not be counted. Probably.
- Yes, there are Bulldog players in my list. No bias is intended.

Player profiles will be prepared for your entertainment progressively over September.

Hyperlinks now available to each profile.

Official List:
50. Jason Tutt
49. Michael Hurley
48. Aaron Cornelius
47. Jack Trengove
46. Scott Gumbleton
45. Alex Silvagni
44. Mark Jamar
43. Nick Duigan
42. Cameron Pedersen
41. Jarrad Waite
40. Michael Firrito
39. Luke Tapscott
38. Tom Scully
37. Rhys Stanley
36. Lukas Markovic
35. Drew Petrie
34. Travis Colyer
33. Josh Hunt
32. James Sellar
31. Lynden Dunn
30. Jared Petrenko
29. Adam Selwood
28. Rohan Bail
27. Trent Dennis-Lane
26. Ben Jacobs
25. David Hille
24. John Butcher
23. Rhys Palmer
22. Quinten Lynch
21. Chris Yarran
20. Jordan Russell
19. Terry Milera
18. Setanta O'hAilpin
17. Aaron Joseph
16. Robin Nahas
15. Bret Thornton
14. Stefan Martin
13. Shaun McKernan
12. Sam Reid
11. Campbell Brown
10. Alwyn Davey (brought to you by Aaron Davey)
9. Nick Maxwell
8. Daniel Stewart
7. Patrick Veszpremi
6. Richard Tambling
5. Brent Renouf
4. Karmichael Hunt
3. Stephen Milne
2. Cale Morton
Pick #1 - Justin Koschitzke

 

[Smell The Glove]

Richard Tambling's inclusion in this list is about as certain as a dog eating its own vomit.

 

[Mofra]

No 50. - Jason Tutt

Pictured: the closest thing Tutty has been to a contest during the year
Ok, some of the motivation here is to avoid bias, but Jason Tutt kicks off this years' bottom 50 with the inexplicable effort of being mediocre despite being blessed with almost every natural football advantage imaginable.
Pace? Tick, one of the fastest at the club
Endurance? Tick, top 4 or 5 at the club
Strength? Club record holder for chin ups with a 20kg weight
Disposal? 60m kicks on either foot with ease.

If only there wont those pesky opposition players on the field, Tutty would be a star. Unfortunately Jason doesn't like contested football which means a strong endurance freak with pace who can kick the ball well has been on the fringe at a bottom four side that is screaming out for a strong endurance freak with pace who can kick the ball well.
He did managed to kick 3 goals with his first three kicks in AFL football. Unfortunately, the end of the first quarter of his first game remains his footballing peak.

Jason, swallow a teaspoon of concreate and work hard over pre-season son. You have kicked off this years' bottom 50.

 

[Krujan]

Although he has been on our list for only 2 years for a total of 14 games, I would still like to nominate Josh Bootsma as the worst player in the AFL. Age and inexperience is no excuse for being a spud of the highest order.

 

[LeverPuller]

Expecting #1 to be the Melbourne FC as an entity.

 

[Mofra]

Although he has been on our list for only 2 years for a total of 14 games, I would still like to nominate Josh Bootsma as the worst player in the AFL. Age and inexperience is no excuse for being a spud of the highest order.

Sorry gingy - Bootsma, despite giving up 6 goals on the weekend at VFL level to a tall forward playing on the windiest ground on the planet, fell below the benchmark.

 

[Les Norton]

Mofra; looking forward to list growing and the inclusion of the mighty Petrenko.
How many games has King Tutt played?

 

[Krujan]

Sorry gingy - Bootsma, despite giving up 6 goals on the weekend at VFL level to a tall forward playing on the windiest ground on the planet, fell below the benchmark.

Your standards for botton 50 are clearly too high, Mofra. His display of ineptness on the weekend is enough for the muppets on the Carlton board to deem him a must IN for our do or die clash with Poort this week. The levels of delusion on that board regarding the playing ability of this spud is only superseded by the Jamestown board disciples in their support for Tird.

 

[Tyler Durden007]

I had never heard of Jason Tutt until I opened this thread. True Story.

 

[Mofra]

Ok, time to get a little controversial. Someone lauded as a hero who is mediocre at best

No. 49 - Michael Hurley

Pictured: Hurley wearing Kyle Reimers' boots to try and make him quicker. It didn't work.

If I told you a pick #5 who across his averages 1 contested mark per game, less than a tackle per game, not much more than a goal per game and was as slow as treacle was the key forward for a side that was sitting 2nd on the ladder halfway during the year, and was getting gold-plated delivery from a midfield led by the reigning Brownlow medallist*, you'd probably say I'm crazy.

Pictured: Bombers 2003 proving my point

Heck, even doped up to the eyeballs on everything from Mexican wonder drugs to experimental Rhinocerous semen extract (probably, it's Essendon) hasn't helped his cause. He plays 2 or 3 good games per year and now even they have an asterisk next to them.
Michael Hurley, you would be a VFL star but at AFL level you are a downhill skiier.

 

[Boxhead_31]

Nothing say's finals time than the annual bottom 50 from Mofra
Looking forward to who collects the No:1 spot

 

[Les Norton]

Ok, time to get a little controversial. Someone lauded at a hero who is mediocre at best

No. 49 - Michael Hurley

Definitely a controversial selection Mofra.
Should be top 25 (or bottom) whichever way you read it. Certianly didn;t expect to see the big dud this early in the count.

 

[Mofra]

No 48 - Aaron "The Acorn" Cornelius

Pictured: An Aacon, which is the most interesting aspect of Aaron

"The Acorn" is noted for his sticky hands, his slightly higher than Michael Hurley's career goal average, and a nickname that is probably more appropriate for Nick Dal Santo. He has spent 5 years on an AFL list for a total of 25 games, including 3 this year despite father-time starting to catch up with a real forward, Jonathan Brown. The ability to be a liability if he doesn't mark it (which, aside from 3.3 times per game this year, he hasn't) really helps him gain a nomination in a team where his ranking as "18th in line to be the third tall" is not something he will want carved on his footballing gravestone.

For outstanding achievements in the field of mediocrity, your place in this list is assured.

 

[T2B_]

Fully expecting to see Marcus Davies in this list. And Alwyn Davey, who is possibly the biggest s**t-truck I've ever seen grace a football field, and that's even with PEDs.

 

[Mudd]

3 votes... Z. Dawson

 

[Dory_77]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Tutt
While I've enjoyed reading your rankings thus far Mofra, unfortunately Tutt doesn't meet the 20 games criteria. He's only managed 19.

 

[carnthemlions]

Hoping to see John Butcher and Nathan van Berlo make an appearance.
Mitch Robinson also has to get a gig. Inexplicable turnovers, stupid free kicks, misses easy goals regularly. What can't Robbo do?

 

[royals1922]

Have you read the title- it's Mofra top 50- let the great man go to work ( cringing about the inclusion of NM players)

 

[subaru]

Mofra; looking forward to list growing and the inclusion of the mighty Petrenko.
How many games has King Tutt played?

Petrenko kicked a winning goal this year. I think that may drag him out of the bottom 50....

 

[stormee]

Was thinking Jesse Chrichton would be a MONTY for this, but he's only played 17 games

 

[Mofra]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Tutt
While I've enjoyed reading your rankings thus far Mofra, unfortunately Tutt doesn't meet the 20 games criteria. He's only managed 19.

I'm getting in one round early

 

[MrSinistah]

yeah, leave the posts to Mofra, i dont want to read some crows flog make a pea hearted troll of a shitfight reference to this potentially amazing thread. theres 50 spots, settle down flogs - the spuds will rain down in good time.

 

[Bartosrules]

Should this be renamed the "Bay 13 Mark Blake Medal"?

 

[PertRoosOsborne]

This thread is always worth reading......keep up the good work dickface

 

[jacko57]

Have you read the title- it's Mofra top 50- let the great man go to work ( cringing about the inclusion of NM players)

Thinking Harper? Jacobs? or maybe Anthony?