VelvetSledge
Modagainerator
ESSENDON BOMBERS
What the fu** was that?!
A week after a somewhat demoralizing loss to a Top-4 side, losing three starting 22 players to 10 (or so) week injuries, and we come out breathing fire and put a pathetic St Kilda to the sword to the tune of 75 points.
Our highest score since 2013, and our biggest win since 2014. We simply haven't destroyed a team in a long time, but we certainly did last week.
It's amazing what happens when you put players in their natural positions. First Nick Hind, dominating off half-back, and Darcy Parish in the guts had his best game for the club.
Zach Merrett is unreal, and we should pay him whatever he wants. He has genuine Brownlow contender written all over him. We can't go into 2022 without him in our side. Generational.
Harry Jones finally got his first goal(s), and celebrated like a madman. He presented and pressured all day, and finally got his snags with a glorious boot from 50m straight in front, another quick snap from the pocket on the run.
Alec Waterman was the feel-good story of the year so far, finally making his AFL debut after so many setbacks. He finished with 2 goals, and showed off his insane distance that he can get off a few steps.
Can't forget Cale Hooker. 32 years old, the oldest player on our list, and pops up with 5 goals. Keep him forward.
Archie Perkins, the best looking man in the league, made his debut and did some seriously impressive things. If he had slotted that goal on the run from the arc, the Etihad roof would have lifted clean off and landed in Portsea.
Nik Cox looks to be gathering more and more confidence every single week, and his snap in the first quarter showed that. He has insane vision and a bullet of a kick which hits targets lace out almost every time.
Jake Stringer looks to be as fit as he's ever been, having lost 7kg over the pre-season. He popped up with four goals in the first half before he found himself out of the game somewhat. That will only get better as time goes on.
The only downside to the game was Mason Redman coming off with what looked like a hamstring injury (after slotting a gorgeous running goal from 50 I might add), but even that was settled throughout the week when it was revealed he wasn't actually injured after all.
Walla doesn't miss.
Brayden Ham played what was probably his best game for the club, and the news of his impending 2 year contract extension suddenly makes a whole lot more sense.
Jordan Ridley is a freak. A genuine, genuine freak. 35 touches, 7 marks, and cemented his position as one of the game's best intercept defenders.
Credit to Truck Rutten. He looks like the players are playing for him, and they believe in the plan. It's all coming together a bit quicker than we'd thought.
Should also mention that St Kilda were woeful. If Norf hadn't played the day before, they would have easily been the worst side last week.
ESSENDON BOMBERS 22.11 143
def.
ST KILDA SAINTS 9.14 68
GOALS: Hooker 5, Stringer 4, McDonald-Tipungwuti 3, Waterman, Snelling, Jones 2, Smith, Cox, McGrath, Redman
BEST: Parish, Ridley, Merrett, Hooker, Stringer, Hind, Smith, Ham
--------
SYDNEY SWANS
The kids are alright, aren't they?
It's not the done thing to go to the MCG and make this all-conquering Richmond side look second rate, but that's what these Swans did. And it didn't even look hard.
Most of the damage was done in the second term for this young Sydney side, in which they kicked eight goals and consigned a vast amount of Richmond fans to Richmond station and the trains home. Pathetic.
The Swans opened up a 40-point lead at half time and kept the Tigers at bay for the rest of the game. The Swans forced them to play in an unorganized, frantic, panicked way, the likes of which we haven't seen from Richmond in quite some time.
Chad Warner, Logan McDonald, Errol Gulden and Sam Wicks. Remember these names, as they are a force already and will only get better.
Nick Blakey is almost a veteran to those guys, and yet slots in with them perfectly.
The Swans have a mix of enthusiastic youngsters and polished veterans like Luke Parker and Josh Kennedy, which has seen a supposed bottom-four side be equal top after three rounds.
Even Tom Hickey looks like a jet all of a sudden.
Tom. *******. Hickey.
Tom Papley continues to impress, which is making Carlton's unsuccessful lure to him even funnier.
And yet, they did it all without Buddy.
RICHMOND TIGERS 10.12 72
def. by
SYDNEY SWANS 17.15 117
GOALS: Papley 4, Wicks 3, Heeney, McDonald, Warner, Hickey 2, Parker, McLean
BEST: Wicks, Papley, Mills, Parker, Florent, Kennedy
ESSENDON INS: Dyson Heppell
ESSENDON OUTS: Mason Redman (Hamstring), Tom Cutler (Tom Cutler)
SYDNEY INS: Lance Franklin
SYDNEY OUTS: James Bell, Hayden McLean (Both omitted)
---
Subs announced approx. one hour before bounce.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A pretty standard week at selection for both sides after strong wins last week. The Bombers are resting Mason Redman with "High-Grade Overload" or some sh*t on his hamstring and have brought back captain Dyson Heppell, who has overcome back spasms to line up against Sydney's 15 opposition captains tonight. Tom Cutler was also dropped after being the medical sub for three weeks straight. I highly suspect we'll see David Zaharakis take his spot tonight.
Sydney brought back our perpetual dominator, Buddy Franklin. Though he's 83 years old and has legs made of string cheese, there's every chance he's going to pull out a vintage Buddy performance and slot 6 goals. And 14 behinds. He finds himself in the team in place of James Bell and Hayden McLean.
Sydney coffee is sh*t.
ROUND 2, 2020
SCG
14/6/2020
SYDNEY SWANS 11.7 73
def. by
ESSENDON BOMBERS 12.7 79
---------
ESSENDON GOALS: McKernan, Stringer 3, McDonald-Tipungwuti 2, Smith, Merrett, Langford, Parish
SYDNEY GOALS: Taylor, Papley 3, Sinclair, Lloyd, Heeney, Blakey, McCartin
ESSENDON BEST: Merrett, McGrath, Shiel, Saad
SYDNEY BEST: Parker, Papley, Lloyd, Florent
---------
CHANGES SINCE THEN
ESSENDON OUTS: Shiel, Saad, Hurley, Cutler, Redman, McKernan, Zaharakis, Bellchambers, Townsend
ESSENDON INS: Laverde, Zerk-Thatcher, Jones, Hind, Ham, Cox, Wright, Perkins, Waterman
SYDNEY OUTS: Aliir, Sinclair, Taylor, Rowbottom, O'Riordan, Hayward, Brand, Gray
SYDNEY INS: Franklin, Reid, McDonald, Wicks, Hickey, Campbell, Warner, Gulden
Both teams were expected to be bottom 4 this year, but both put on incredible efforts last week. The Swans, in fact, have been doing it for three weeks. If Essendon brings the same game they did against St Kilda, this one will go down to the wire.
Sydney by 3.
Yes I'm still salty about the goalpost thing
Last edited:
