Discussion Struggling with Mental Health (Call Beyond Blue (1300 224 636), Lifeline (131 114))

[Remboy]

Thanks guys.

Just a quick update.

My son has been given the all clear physically. He has stated he regrets what he did. The stresses of school and possibly bullying seem to be the cause.

He did just go through a break up with his first ever girlfriend and the possibility of her spreading stuff about him has crossed my mind. It's ironic because when he told me he had a girlfriend I tried to give him as much advice as I could. I even told him that if they were to break up its important to not bad mouth them afterwards and not share information that's private between the two of them.

I'm so mad that I want to go full on investigation mode and find everyone responsible for making him feel how he did. But I know I can't. At least not until my son is in a better place.

Hopefully my sharing this has made people more aware of how this could happen right under your nose. If it seems like your child is withdrawn or holding back there may be something more serious going on under the surface. I was lucky but there's lot of parents out there that aren't.

My brother and sister in law had no idea my niece had been self harming until she needed to go to hospital. Thankfully she’s in a much better place now but it’s taken quite a few years to get there and there are still dark times.
I’ve had my own issues with depression but fortunately it never got to that stage. Good luck in the future.

 

[Mowman]

Thanks guys.

Just a quick update.

My son has been given the all clear physically. He has stated he regrets what he did. The stresses of school and possibly bullying seem to be the cause.

He did just go through a break up with his first ever girlfriend and the possibility of her spreading stuff about him has crossed my mind. It's ironic because when he told me he had a girlfriend I tried to give him as much advice as I could. I even told him that if they were to break up its important to not bad mouth them afterwards and not share information that's private between the two of them.

I'm so mad that I want to go full on investigation mode and find everyone responsible for making him feel how he did. But I know I can't. At least not until my son is in a better place.

Hopefully my sharing this has made people more aware of how this could happen right under your nose. If it seems like your child is withdrawn or holding back there may be something more serious going on under the surface. I was lucky but there's lot of parents out there that aren't.

Great news mate
Very happy for you that things are looking better

 

[Grav]

 

[George]

 

[Dr Spaceman]

The story broke while I was aboard a V/Line train heading for the Elimination Final at the MCG.

The details surrounding Tim's sudden departure from the team were quite sketchy and certain information was rightfully kept inhouse. Rumours swirled around the footy forums and social media. Nonetheless the club and the Membrey family remained silent respecting Tim's privacy through an obviously very difficult time.

I must admit that although I had no details surrounding what had occurred, I nonetheless got a strong vibe and that vibe had me pretty convinced that we would never see Tim on a footy field wearing a Saints jumper again.

To be to this stage, where Tim is fully functioning, talking about his journey, completing his pre season, playing in the practice matches and doing well and is now a lock for Round 1 is simply fantastic news.

Well done champ

 

[Simon Templar]

As a person that has suffered life-long depression & has been on the brink of suicide numerous times, can I I say it's the minor or little things that can tip the scales either way...

I actually stopped posting on Bigfoot years ago because most of my comments were met with an avalanche of derision & abuse.. I suppose, looking back, it wasn't the best thing for me to say that Stevie Milne was a goal hungry c**t & should be dropped immediately.

I always thought that sharing your opinion on football & players was what this site was all about... it is... but it is full of blokey, testosterone filled, nasty shitbags that want to gain mileage from putting others down. Not that should have surprised me but I was taken-a-back. Football (AFL) was, at that time, one of my last most cherished possessions. in my most darkest hour, it was my last bastion... Custer's last stand. It was all I had left... It lwas my last piece of life's pleasure. In reality it was all I lived for.

We are weird creature... it all plays out in our heads...

I just want to say a big thank you to a few people on the Saints BigFoooty forum, unfortunately I can't recall who the names of the few that treated me humanely or the c**ts that were hell bent on bringing me down, but there were a couple of guys on here that made all the difference.

My point is... one small off comment can make all the difference... Choose your words wisely... before you say something derogatory to another person online, even if is just about football, just tender it a bit.

Thanks Gringo... your thumbs up probably makes for 90% of my score. Otherwise my sick post to response ratio would look even sicker than it does now. Maybe one day... in a few years from now, if I haven't topped myself, I might gain a positive rating.

 

[George]

As a person that has suffered life-long depression & has been on the brink of suicide numerous times, can I I say it's the minor or little things that can tip the scales either way...

I actually stopped posting on Bigfoot years ago because most of my comments were met with an avalanche of derision & abuse.. I suppose, looking back, it wasn't the best thing for me to say that Stevie Milne was a goal hungry c**t & should be dropped immediately.

I always thought that sharing your opinion on football & players was what this site was all about... it is... but it is full of blokey, testosterone filled, nasty shitbags that want to gain mileage from putting others down. Not that should have surprised me but I was taken-a-back. Football (AFL) was, at that time, one of my last most cherished possessions. in my most darkest hour, it was my last bastion... Custer's last stand. It was all I had left... It lwas my last piece of life's pleasure. In reality it was all I lived for.

We are weird creature... it all plays out in our heads...

I just want to say a big thank you to a few people on the Saints BigFoooty forum, unfortunately I can't recall who the names of the few that treated me humanely or the c**ts that were hell bent on bringing me down, but there were a couple of guys on here that made all the difference.

My point is... one small off comment can make all the difference... Choose your words wisely... before you say something derogatory to another person online, even if is just about football, just tender it a bit.

Thanks Gringo... your thumbs up probably makes for 90% of my score. Otherwise my sick post to response ratio would look even sicker than it does now. Maybe one day... in a few years from now, if I haven't topped myself, I might gain a positive rating.

It was plugger66, I remember it well lol. He's gone for good from here now and glad to see you're doing well mate. Exciting season ahead!

 

[Simon Templar]

It was plugger66, I remember it well lol. He's gone for good from here now and glad to see you're doing well mate. Exciting season ahead!

OMG... I can't believe you can even recall anything, let alone a name. Yeah, he was one of them.

I'm doing really well, it's always nice to be asked. I am very excited about the season ahead. Thanks George

 

[George]

OMG... I can't believe you can even recall anything, let alone a name. Yeah, he was one of them.

I'm doing really well, it's always nice to be asked. I am very excited about the season ahead. Thanks George

I'm not just a pretty face

 

[Simon Templar]

I'm not just a pretty face

Your parents lied... you can't sing & you're really ugly.

 

[Brains Trust66]

So due to my back I haven’t worked for 20 years now and I’m only 60 . Unfortunately it’s the disks that are a problem, back surgeon says there is no cure and all I have is a spinal cord stimulator which sends signals from the back to try disguise the pain signals . It works abit . Soon I will need another operation to replace the batteries which last 5 to 7 years . Anyhow I’m getting off point . I’m suffering deep depression due to not working for 20 years and never working again . It’s becoming hard to fight on . Bad thoughts are appearing more and more in my head . Y big hope this year it the Saints get on a roll and do well to keep me resonsonbly happy.

 

[Simon Templar]

So due to my back I haven’t worked for 20 years now and I’m only 60 . Unfortunately it’s the disks that are a problem, back surgeon says there is no cure and all I have is a spinal cord stimulator which sends signals from the back to try disguise the pain signals . It works abit . Soon I will need another operation to replace the batteries which last 5 to 7 years . Anyhow I’m getting off point . I’m suffering deep depression due to not working for 20 years and never working again . It’s becoming hard to fight on . Bad thoughts are appearing more and more in my head . Y big hope this year it the Saints get on a roll and do well to keep me resonsonbly happy.

Quite often we equate our worthiness in life to our productivity or ability to work. It's not really so... make your grandkids laugh or connect the wifi to your neighbours house. Whatever you can do... it's not all thebphysical. I hope you can find something.

 

[gringo2011]

Quite often we equate our worthiness in life to our productivity or ability to work. It's not really so... make your grandkids laugh or connect the wifi to your neighbours house. Whatever you can do... it's not all thebphysical. I hope you can find something.

100% the older I get the more joy I get from small things in life and the less anxious I get too. You get to an age where you realise that you don't need to let people's opinions control how you see yourself. I love taking off to the bush with no-one around where once the socialising was more important to me. Having a project to work on even if it's a diary or like Brains Trust had a podcast or website is a great idea. Anything you can channel energy into that gives you a sense of achieving something no matter how small it seems.

 

[gringo2011]

As a person that has suffered life-long depression & has been on the brink of suicide numerous times, can I I say it's the minor or little things that can tip the scales either way...

I actually stopped posting on Bigfoot years ago because most of my comments were met with an avalanche of derision & abuse.. I suppose, looking back, it wasn't the best thing for me to say that Stevie Milne was a goal hungry c**t & should be dropped immediately.

I always thought that sharing your opinion on football & players was what this site was all about... it is... but it is full of blokey, testosterone filled, nasty shitbags that want to gain mileage from putting others down. Not that should have surprised me but I was taken-a-back. Football (AFL) was, at that time, one of my last most cherished possessions. in my most darkest hour, it was my last bastion... Custer's last stand. It was all I had left... It lwas my last piece of life's pleasure. In reality it was all I lived for.

We are weird creature... it all plays out in our heads...

I just want to say a big thank you to a few people on the Saints BigFoooty forum, unfortunately I can't recall who the names of the few that treated me humanely or the c**ts that were hell bent on bringing me down, but there were a couple of guys on here that made all the difference.

My point is... one small off comment can make all the difference... Choose your words wisely... before you say something derogatory to another person online, even if is just about football, just tender it a bit.

Thanks Gringo... your thumbs up probably makes for 90% of my score. Otherwise my sick post to response ratio would look even sicker than it does now. Maybe one day... in a few years from now, if I haven't topped myself, I might gain a positive rating.

That's good to hear you're in a better place Simon. I'm guilty of being an idiot online as much as I try not to be a prick. Plugger I'm guessing had his own demons. He was a weird cat, I think he wanted to be liked but seemed to need to be noticed more than respected above everything. As you said we all play everything out in our own heads.

We've all let footy take too much responsibility for providing happiness and following the Saints was probably not the ideal choice but it has made us bloody resilient I guess.

A good reminder not to flippantly criticise other's posts and try not to be petty.

Keep posting heaps, I'll get you there as a personal challenge.

 

[Simon Templar]

That's good to hear you're in a better place Simon. I'm guilty of being an idiot online as much as I try not to be a prick. Plugger I'm guessing had his own demons. He was a weird cat, I think he wanted to be liked but seemed to need to be noticed more than respected above everything. As you said we all play everything out in our own heads.

We've all let footy take too much responsibility for providing happiness and following the Saints was probably not the ideal choice but it has made us bloody resilient I guess.

A good reminder not to flippantly criticise other's posts and try not to be petty.

Keep posting heaps, I'll get you there as a personal challenge.

Thanks Gringo... I just want to add & it's probably an a appropriate time with "Spuds Game" this week, that I am in the best state of mind. I actually can't remember a time when I felt this free of mental anguish... I think a lot to do with it is that you give less f**ks as you get older. Maybe retirement helps too.

 

[gringo2011]

Thanks Gringo... I just want to add & it's probably an a appropriate time with "Spuds Game" this week, that I am in the best state of mind. I actually can't remember a time when I felt this free of mental anguish... I think a lot to do with it is that you give less f**ks as you get older. Maybe retirement helps too.

That's awesome. Definitely worth remembering for everyone that the things that weigh on us are temporary and where you are now isn't for ever. Hopefully we start winning games of footy and you get a great footy season to add too it. I can't wait to retire, working gets in the way of all the stuff I want to do.

 

[BigPowerForward]

Thanks Gringo... I just want to add & it's probably an a appropriate time with "Spuds Game" this week, that I am in the best state of mind. I actually can't remember a time when I felt this free of mental anguish... I think a lot to do with it is that you give less f**ks as you get older. Maybe retirement helps too.

I always try and remind myself that problems are just the speedbumps in the road of life. Sometimes those speedbumps are big. Sometimes they are small. Sometimes they are close together and sometimes they are far apart. You can't avoid them but you will always be able to get over them.
No matter how bad things seem now, they will always pass in time.
Finding something to quiet down the chatter in your head is important too. For me that something is gardening and cooking/preserving. I also find that cold showers in the morning get me off to a good start. Great to hear your doing well Simon!

 

[gringo2011]

I always try and remind myself that problems are just the speedbumps in the road of life. Sometimes those speedbumps are big. Sometimes they are small. Sometimes they are close together and sometimes they are far apart. You can't avoid them but you will always be able to get over them.
No matter how bad things seem now, they will always pass in time.
Finding something to quiet down the chatter in your head is important too. For me that something is gardening and cooking/preserving. I also find that cold showers in the morning get me off to a good start. Great to hear your doing well Simon!

Loved everything but the cold showers.

 

[BigPowerForward]

Loved everything but the cold showers.

After more than 2 years, I still don't look forward to them but I do feel great afterwards and I use f*** all water now!

 

[gringo2011]

After more than 2 years, I still don't look forward to them but I do feel great afterwards and I use f*** all water now!

Yeah we have a friend who does it and swears by it.

 

[George]

Yeah we have a friend who does it and swears by it.

Does he work for a conglomerate? Perhaps in a big decision making role?

Can you send me his full details so I can buy some new Nike's?

Ffs

 

[gringo2011]

Does he work for a conglomerate? Perhaps in a big decision making role?

Can you send me his full details so I can buy some new Nike's?

Ffs

Na muso. People who do responsible jobs don't have time for washing in cold water because someone on YouTube says it keeps you young.

 

[gringo2011]

I'm a middle-age inner-city w***er, all our mates are corporate or creative inner city w***ers that think we are better than you because we can afford to be charitable. It's a tribe. Not sure why that seems unusual to you. Like all your mates are milquetoast gym-bros, that's your crew.

 

[Dr Spaceman]

Does he work for a conglomerate? Perhaps in a big decision making role?

Can you send me his full details so I can buy some new Nike's?

Ffs

THE SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION

(GRINGO EDITION)

 

[sammm]

So due to my back I haven’t worked for 20 years now and I’m only 60 . Unfortunately it’s the disks that are a problem, back surgeon says there is no cure and all I have is a spinal cord stimulator which sends signals from the back to try disguise the pain signals . It works abit . Soon I will need another operation to replace the batteries which last 5 to 7 years . Anyhow I’m getting off point . I’m suffering deep depression due to not working for 20 years and never working again . It’s becoming hard to fight on . Bad thoughts are appearing more and more in my head . Y big hope this year it the Saints get on a roll and do well to keep me resonsonbly happy.

Bad thoughts are with most people i think. At different times in my life I didn't want to live. Bad thoughts would take over. Over lots of time, help, and other positive influences, I'm not so bad anymore. It helps to find someone to talk to it also helps with back pain (at least for me) to find something to distract you. 16 years ago I developed pain in my neck down though my arm to my fingers ha s. It turned out that I had collapse discs, degeneration etc etc. It took many years to get where I am now. But still my self esteem is s**t.

It how you try and live your life anyway that can help.
Footy should be not bad this year.