Suicide

[CLUBMEDhurst]

Probably a cliched answer, but really dont want to resort to medicaiton. I dont think Im allowed to have them anyway - Im an epileptic. Have always kind of wondered if my epilepsy medication (Epilim) has contributed to my anxiety and indecisiveness. Been so long I dont know otherwise.

It's possible, however I doubt it (it is one of the commonest meds used in the treatment of bipolar affective disorder). Sounds to me like the suicidal thoughts are related to your anxiety (particularly around work). As others have stated, hook up with a psychologist, CBT and mindfulness based therapies are the way to go.

 

[Hudu Gurusingha]

It's possible, however I doubt it (it is one of the commonest meds used in the treatment of bipolar affective disorder). Sounds to me like the suicidal thoughts are related to your anxiety (particularly around work). As others have stated, hook up with a psychologist, CBT and mindfulness based therapies are the way to go.

Have found a lot of benefit in mindfulness techniques. I like to use them playing sport too.

 

[BALKAN]

People who commit suicide have zero sympathy from me, can't handle their problems so they throw all their burden on the loved ones left behind. Rot.

Pretty embarassed by this post, in hindsight. My attitude towards suicide has changed since then.

 

[CLUBMEDhurst]

Have found a lot of benefit in mindfulness techniques. I like to use them playing sport too.

Any active sportsman has to be very focused; you've got to be in the right frame of mind. If your energy is diverted in various directions, you do not achieve the results. I need to know when to switch on and switch off: and the rest of the things happen around that. Cricket is in the foreground, the rest is in the background.

I get 0.5 seconds to react to a ball, sometimes even less than that. I can't be thinking of what XYZ has said about me. I need to surrender myself to my natural instincts. My subconscious mind knows exactly what to do. It is trained to react.

Sachin Tendulkar

 

[Hudu Gurusingha]

Sachin Tendulkar

Yep exactly. Nadal said something similar. Basically, you've get to trust your sub-conscious to get the job done. It knows what to do. Emotions and outcome orientated thoughts get in the way. You have to stay in the moment.

 

[Doss]

I grew up with a depressive mother and I constantly feared as a kid that she would take her own life. She never did attempt it, thankfully.

 

[Morganashlee]

I grew up with a depressive mother and I constantly feared as a kid that she would take her own life. She never did attempt it, thankfully.

I lived with this also, she tried and was unsuccessful on multiple occasions which I think added to her feelings of failure. In her eyes she couldn't even get that right.

If there is something in your life that you can pinpoint as contributing to these feelings, remove it immediately from your life. You don't have long enough to put up with things that create such unhappiness.

 

[skilts]

you need to quit your job, I've seen you complain about it so much on these boards

Life is short, you don't need it as much as you think you do, you probably have a bunch of people around you that you think you'll disappoint by quitting but I think they would be more disappointed in you for not taking control of your life and doing something positive because you're obviously in a bad way, and if they would rather you keep fronting to this job and feel like shit then get off on disappointing them out of spite

There are a bunch of people in this world who lost people to suicide who wish that person had the courage to walk away from their problems (jobs etc)

Just do it, you'll land on your feet

What a lovely thing to say.

 

[blackcat]

Probably a cliched answer, but really dont want to resort to medicaiton. I dont think Im allowed to have them anyway - Im an epileptic. Have always kind of wondered if my epilepsy medication (Epilim) has contributed to my anxiety and indecisiveness. Been so long I dont know otherwise.

if my advice can be, dont take anecdotal advice on bigfooty, need to see your gp for the referrals to the specialists

We've all thought about it mate, no shame there. See a doctor though if goes beyond a bit of a bummer into something more meaningful.

+2 gotta see the professional(s)

Dont know - what are the natural medications? Im a bit skeptical to be honest

St Johns Wort for one. **not contradicting my advice on no advice. this is not advice.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

My nephew recently committed suicide and nothing anyone said or did was going to change what he did. It was always going to be a matter of when.

He leaves behind a beautiful daughter, heartbroken family and friends and all because he didn't believe he was worthy.
It was a selfish act and we have all ranted at that selfishness at some time over the last few months but in saying that we hope he know longer walks in the shadow of darkness. I wonder though when he took that final step if he pondered the questions, the legal mess, the grief, the residual and future hurt that you leave behind - if he did I don't think he would of gone ahead with it.

Suicide is not the answer and if you are feeling that way please I implore reach out for help.

Yes, he almost certainly did.
He may have felt that the pain of his going would be less for everybody, including himself, than the pain of him staying. But that's largely me projecting my thoughts onto someone, his thoughts were almost certainly diferent. Just because it causes pain doesn't mean he didn't seemingly rationally take that into account. His rationale might not seem rational to other people, but that doesn't mean things are not thought through and well reasoned. That's what depression an anxiety do, they distort reality to the point where only the negatives exist.

In my case, I know the right thing to do is commit suicide. Maybe a dozen people would be hurt badly for a short time and then that fades. Not to nothing, but it fades. That is far better than mny people being daily impacted by my negativity, which cannot be forced away, and those same dozen people affected big time by it for years to come.
I contribute nothing, radiate negativity, hurt everyone I think I care about ona very regular basis, waste resources the species and planet don't have, and from a selfish standpoint have always been unable to enjoy anything. There is not one reason, for myself or anyone else, why I should stay alive.
I'm just too much of a coward to do the right thing.

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

I work in hotels and it's amazing and terrifying how many people book rooms for the sole purpose of committing suicide. I've sat with housekeepers and assistant managers who have found people who have succeeded in killing themselves, I've sat with staff who have actually tried to revive suicidal people and those who have actually saved other people's lives. I've seen a body of a woman who committed suicide in one of our bathrooms and it's something I'll never forget.

It's so awful, the impact that it has on so many people. They choose hotels because they feel like they're doing their families a favour because at least they won't find them, but it's so, so hard on the people that do walk in, even though they're strangers.

 

[Doss]

It's the same wherever it occurs- whoever is first on the scene is very adversely affected.

My mother's cousin has been driving suburban trains in Melbourne since 1977 and he's been the driver on no less than four occasions when someone has thrown themselves in front of the train. Tragic.

I do not for a moment condemn those who do it as cowards because I think that's disrespectful and because we have no possible way of knowing just how great the torment inside someone's head is. That said, the impact on the family/friends/those who find them is enormous and no doubt this is what probably stops more from doing it.

 

[Gough]

Yes, he almost certainly did.
He may have felt that the pain of his going would be less for everybody, including himself, than the pain of him staying. But that's largely me projecting my thoughts onto someone, his thoughts were almost certainly diferent. Just because it causes pain doesn't mean he didn't seemingly rationally take that into account. His rationale might not seem rational to other people, but that doesn't mean things are not thought through and well reasoned. That's what depression an anxiety do, they distort reality to the point where only the negatives exist.

In my case, I know the right thing to do is commit suicide. Maybe a dozen people would be hurt badly for a short time and then that fades. Not to nothing, but it fades. That is far better than mny people being daily impacted by my negativity, which cannot be forced away, and those same dozen people affected big time by it for years to come.
I contribute nothing, radiate negativity, hurt everyone I think I care about ona very regular basis, waste resources the species and planet don't have, and from a selfish standpoint have always been unable to enjoy anything. There is not one reason, for myself or anyone else, why I should stay alive.
I'm just too much of a coward to do the right thing.

Based on what you contribute here I wouldn't agree with this.

 

[Doss]

Based on what you contribute here I wouldn't agree with this.

Seconded.

 

[BALKAN]

Sorry for bumping an old thread, but recently have been having weird thoughts that I think would help to share. In times of major stress and when I'm feeling overwhelmed, almost always involving work, I find my mind resorting to thoughts like "well I could just resort to ending it all" - as in that would be one way to get rid of all the agony of my anxieties. I go as far as thinking about what would it be like to do it, how Id do it and the aftermath. The feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed are at their worst first thing in the morning or during intense times at work. I struggle to get out of bed, and getting ready for work I'm a complete mess.

I know Id never do anything, I could never do it to my fiance, friends and family. And I don't want to do it - I've got too much to live for. Any normal person would look at my life and say its great. I have great friends and family, am healthy and have lots of opportunities. But these thoughts just creep in my mind - as if its some form of comfort to know that there is a way out if things get too out of hard.

Are these normal? Should I be worried? Anyone experienced anything similar?

Yes I'd say it is normal, depending on if they're just fleeting thoughts that don't affect your day.

I've been thinking about suicide a lot the past few months, contemplating how I'd do it, I wrote a suicide note (but I had no intention of actually going through with it, so not sure why I wrote it in hindsight) I think my anxiety is becoming more than just a minor issue I can bottle and pretend it's not there and is starting to manifest itself into real life in my sleeping and eating patterns, in my work and uni and social circle. I don't want to die but living is beginning to be such a burden on me and I feel it's affecting everyone I come into contact with. I'm just sick of being worried and scared about every damn little thing.

The thought of death is comforting to me as well, in a way. I wouldn't purposely put myself in a risky situation but I have thoughts like "If I get hit by a drunk driver/get diagnosed with a terminal illness/if this plane crashes...it wouldn't be so bad" I'm not sure if these thoughts are common or not but they comfort me when I start to feel really shitty.

 

[blackcat]

It's the same wherever it occurs- whoever is first on the scene is very adversely affected.

My mother's cousin has been driving suburban trains in Melbourne since 1977 and he's been the driver on no less than four occasions when someone has thrown themselves in front of the train. Tragic.

I do not for a moment condemn those who do it as cowards because I think that's disrespectful and because we have no possible way of knowing just how great the torment inside someone's head is. That said, the impact on the family/friends/those who find them is enormous and no doubt this is what probably stops more from doing it.

i dont envy a V-Line driver.

but even the Met trains too, I knew a kid who (NOT suicide) died at a level crossing, it cant be great if you pass on the anxiety and illness to a driver doing his/her gig

 

[TheMightyEagles]

Years ago I went through a bad patch after a break up. I just felt ambivalent to life, and not necessarily suicidal but more like I felt life was pointless. Anyway it felt like a death sentence at the time but I'm my normal self these days. What I discovered later is these feelings were actually related to physical problems even though they played out psychologically. This is certainly not the case for everyone, but my advice is always always see your GP (and a psychologist if you can) in this situation. Also it sounds trite but you do learn a lot during the dark periods and come out stronger on the other side. But yeah IMHO chat to your GP...and second the comment about changing jobs!

 

[blackcat]

Lifeline Australia home 13 11 14 - Crisis Support and ...

 

[Off The Couch]

Yes, he almost certainly did.
He may have felt that the pain of his going would be less for everybody, including himself, than the pain of him staying. But that's largely me projecting my thoughts onto someone, his thoughts were almost certainly diferent. Just because it causes pain doesn't mean he didn't seemingly rationally take that into account. His rationale might not seem rational to other people, but that doesn't mean things are not thought through and well reasoned. That's what depression an anxiety do, they distort reality to the point where only the negatives exist.

In my case, I know the right thing to do is commit suicide. Maybe a dozen people would be hurt badly for a short time and then that fades. Not to nothing, but it fades. That is far better than mny people being daily impacted by my negativity, which cannot be forced away, and those same dozen people affected big time by it for years to come.
I contribute nothing, radiate negativity, hurt everyone I think I care about ona very regular basis, waste resources the species and planet don't have, and from a selfish standpoint have always been unable to enjoy anything. There is not one reason, for myself or anyone else, why I should stay alive.
I'm just too much of a coward to do the right thing.

Seeing my post quoted gave me a bit of a jolt and has made me quite emotional - today bizzarely enough is the 3rd anniversary of his death and I miss him terribly.

You aren't a coward, in fact you've shown courage and strength just by posting your thoughts. As others have said, reach out, get some help and most importantly keep talking to anyone and everyone, don't go closing up and keeping it to yourself.

Our workplace has started using mindfulness at the beginning of each day and in turn I've started using it at home as well, as my son suffers from severe anxiety and I have found it to be quite helpful and I would encourage you to link in with someone who offers it as it may be quite beneficial.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

Based on what you contribute here I wouldn't agree with this.

Thanks for that. Coming from someone I respect (as much as can be done on random anonymous forums) it means something.

I also think to some extent it underlines the point. The starting point of a depressed, or a suicidal, person often begins at a very different position from how another person perceives things. The rationalisation begins from a potentially distorted viewpoint and continues from there.
And I'm not saying I feel like that all the time. Quite a bit of the time recently, and certainly whenever I think about suicide or depression.

As for BF posts, I don't really count that as "contributing" anything.

 

[PaddyO]

I've got significant (professional) experience in this area and if anyone * seriously wanted to talk to someone I'd be fine with arranging it thru a mod or whatever.

* over 18, I'm not a weirdo etc etc.

 

[Borry]

Some average comments on this thread from the beginning of it, even from posters who I think would know better than what they have posted and liked.

The discussion is much better with certain posters banned.

Heard about a train runover incident that occurred some decade ago in Perth that turned out to be a girl that my family knew from a school I went to. She ended up topping herself this way. My mum mentions a fair bit about her weight at school and the fact that she was relentlessly was bullied an alienated at school because of it. I am in no position to criticize such a decision to top oneself.

The world is a better place with charities and sections of the media addressing the issue of school bullying these days.

 

[blackcat]

Yes, he almost certainly did.
He may have felt that the pain of his going would be less for everybody, including himself, than the pain of him staying. But that's largely me projecting my thoughts onto someone, his thoughts were almost certainly diferent. Just because it causes pain doesn't mean he didn't seemingly rationally take that into account. His rationale might not seem rational to other people, but that doesn't mean things are not thought through and well reasoned. That's what depression an anxiety do, they distort reality to the point where only the negatives exist.

In my case, I know the right thing to do is commit suicide. Maybe a dozen people would be hurt badly for a short time and then that fades. Not to nothing, but it fades. That is far better than mny people being daily impacted by my negativity, which cannot be forced away, and those same dozen people affected big time by it for years to come.
I contribute nothing, radiate negativity, hurt everyone I think I care about ona very regular basis, waste resources the species and planet don't have, and from a selfish standpoint have always been unable to enjoy anything. There is not one reason, for myself or anyone else, why I should stay alive.
I'm just too much of a coward to do the right thing.

sometimes, things just don't have an explanation.

but p'raps the docs may palliate the severe symptoms. p'raps they can't. but it is an option.

re:resources, that aphorism about the measure of a society is how they treat their downtrodden, well, I would hope that there are resources. I also hope that the gov't solves the issue of welfare provision to aborigine settlements in the WA outback. But this is quite impractical utopia i appreciate

 

[little graham]

Lifeline Australia home 13 11 14 - Crisis Support and ...

They preach pharmaceutical propaganda. This is a problem if your depression is caused from pharmaceuticals and their unethical behaviors. They just refer you to someone who'll more than likely kick you in the teeth.

 

[little graham]

I'm just too much of a coward to do the right thing.

I don't see a coward, cowards hide from their emotions, not run, not talk about, not admit, they hide. Generally by hurting others and maneuvering themselves into positions of power. People who think deeply about suicide, understand that when thought deeply it is a rational, very compassionate and considerate option. They have so much to offer to humanity when they come out the side of such deep thought. The more you have to offer, normally means the more curve balls lifes thrown you, will throw you.