Media TJASTA's Declassified SFA Survival Guide

[TJASTA]

IN A SUB-FORUM FULL OF BULLIES
INSANE PERSONALS
AND GROSS INDIVIDUALS
TJASTA, THAT'S ME, AND MY TWO BEST FRIENDS TRY TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE:
CREATE A GUIDE TO HELP YOU SURVIVE THE SFA


*Results may vary​

 

[Supersuns]

Subbed

 

[Dingster]

Bastyy wtf is this?

 

[Bovo]

I’m amazed at the effort here. I won’t lie, I was expecting a lot less

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

View attachment 1048155
IN A SUB-FORUM FULL OF BULLIES
INSANE PERSONALS
AND GROSS INDIVIDUALS
TJASTA, THAT'S ME, AND MY TWO BEST FRIENDS TRY TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE:
CREATE A GUIDE TO HELP YOU SURVIVE THE SFA

View attachment 1048408
*Results may vary​

 

[DenieD]

View attachment 1048155
IN A SUB-FORUM FULL OF BULLIES
INSANE PERSONALS
AND GROSS INDIVIDUALS
TJASTA, THAT'S ME, AND MY TWO BEST FRIENDS TRY TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE:
CREATE A GUIDE TO HELP YOU SURVIVE THE SFA

View attachment 1048408
*Results may vary​

Why would anyone seek advice from a fury?

 

[Senor M]

Why would anyone seek advice from a fury?

Spoken like a true former member of the Furies.

 

[DenieD]

Spoken like a true former member of the Furies.

Yes. I was a Fury for a day and it was the worst day of my life. But then TheInjuryFactory saved me from a career of wasted potential.

 

[Senor M]

Yes. I was a Fury for a day and it was the worst day of my life. But then TheInjuryFactory saved me from a career of wasted potential.

I wish I could say that this was the first time I’ve heard the name TheInjuryFactory in the same sentence as “wasted potential”, but alas that is not the case.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

I wish I could say that this was the first time I’ve heard the name TheInjuryFactory in the same sentence as “wasted potential”, but alas that is not the case.

Never said that about you. Halfy did though.

 

[TJASTA]

hey can all of the warriors posters go jerk themselves off elsewhere k thanks

 

[Senor M]

Never said that about you. Halfy did though.

Another former Furies player at the Warriors.

How many is that now?

 

[PhenomenalV1]

Out of all the Furies who could've fit the title of the show, surely Flanders would work better, right?

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

Another former Furies player at the Warriors.

How many is that now?

All the clever ones.

 

[Bastyy]

Bastyy wtf is this?

I felt bad for the kid so I put my name on this, then I felt really bad and put yours on

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Another former Furies player at the Warriors.

How many is that now?

All the clever ones.

Not the best response, given renowned dill NaturalDumbarse plies his tawdry trade at your mob.

 

[Santoz]

TJASTA gets slaughtered across most threads he visits from what I've seen, therefore I'm not expecting any content after this OP

 

[philreich]

This kinda reminds me of this:

TOP 5 WAYS TO OVERCOME LAZINESS:

1.

 

[Bovo]

TJASTA gets slaughtered across most threads he visits from what I've seen, therefore I'm not expecting any content after this OP

Are you insinuating that this is nothing more than a “look at me” thread? How dare you Santoz, it’s honestly no wonder you have no friends. Well except that one bloke, but we shouldn’t discuss that publicly again!

 

[Santoz]

Are you insinuating that this is nothing more than a “look at me” thread? How dare you Santoz, it’s honestly no wonder you have no friends. Well except that one bloke, but we shouldn’t discuss that publicly again!

If we did discuss it publicly it'd sure as s**t make a better thread than this one

 

[BLUEALLTHRU]

A poor copy of a current thread running now. I'm a little disappointed TJASTA . You probably won't see this but oh well...

 

[Pugsley]

Wouldn't read again. ******* hippies.

 

[Matera92]

I find it unbelievable that TJASTA has two friends.

 

[VeinGlorious]

I wish I could say that this was the first time I’ve heard the name TheInjuryFactory in the same sentence as “wasted potential”, but alas that is not the case.

 

[TJASTA]

THE FIRST DAY​

TJASTA: It’s the first day of the SFA season, and it can be frightening. The key to surviving is whether your ready, or not. Now you are probably wondering if I was ready, Well….

Season 24 TJASTA: Man, I am BORED. Richmond being somewhat successful has killed all of the funny melts. Huh, what is the Sweet FA? Fantasy Football? Meh, might be fun.

The answer is no. I bet my good friend and league legend Dingster was.

Dingster: Well….

Dingster back in season 3, outside the Golden Throne: EXTRA, EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT! SMELLEVISION REPLACES TELEVISION! WAGSTAFF SEZ: ‘IT WILL NEVER WORK!’. Paper mister?
blueworms: Sure kid, how much?
Dingster: That’ll be fifty-two pounds, nine thruppence sir.
*blueworms pays and Dingster flick pass the paper to him*
blueworms: Say kid, that’s one hell of a flick pass, want to join my football team, the Junkyard Dogs?
Dingster: I don’t know mister; I would have to ask my mother and father….
blueworms: Not a problem, I will give your father a suit, six shirts and a pair of shoes.
Dingster: Hmm okay
blueworms: Excellent! Come now!

Okay, maybe not. Surely, my other good friend, Bastyy was.

Bastyy: Well…

WHAT THE * IS THIS? THE IMPRACTICAL ******* JOKERS? WHY IS EVERYONE SAYING THAT!

Bastyy, pre-season 29: Man, that weird Tour of Qooty was fun, and it looks like I am getting heaps of offers. The Warriors seem fun. Their captain is a freo dude, they like the slaps roof of car meme. Guess I will sign with them

*Fill out the sign-up form*

Hmm, looks like I am getting even more offers. Who is TJASTA and what are Fighting Furies? It looks likes he wants me to completely fu** over the Warriors and join him? Nah I am a loyal person and the Warriors got in touch first...WAIT, I CAN HAVE MY PREFER GUERNSEY NUMBER AT THE FURIES! fu** THE WARRIORS, FURIES HERE WE COME!

Well, I guess there is a point to all this. Nobody will be completing 100% ready once they dropped into the league. No matter what you are told in club PM’s or others. And that’s 100% okay. I asked some of the league most prominent posters about their early days in the league and here is what they said

Hi cool guy. McEvoy, The Filth Wizard and Blacky recruited me from the swans board. I had zero idea what it was about and I pretty much still have no clue.

First few matches I was way out of my depth but I think you because accustomed to that feeling.

A PM appeared from Naturaldumbarse out of the blue asking if I was interested in joining the SFA and the Furies. So I had a look at the place for the first time and couldn't make heads nor tails out of what was going on. ND lured me with promises the SFA was a place were posters could run amuck and mods rarely involved themselves, somewhere that 245kg of love muscle could let loose, get nude and be myself without judgement or penalty. So of course I joined.

Was I ready for it, I was born for this. You have to have a thick skin to survive this place and back yourself against all others, whether you go toe to toe with your direct opponent or take on a whole team, you have got to be up for the fight and be prepared to give as good as you take as well as back it up on the qooty field with match winning performances. To survive as a qooty player you have to be genuine and stay true to your character or you will be found out quick enough and eventually fade away.

First match threads took some figuring out, actually thought somehow our posting and involvement effected the result. Fortunately in my second or 3rd week I got sent to Banhammer prison, who would have thought a tastefully nude bondage scene could cause an issue. Anyway I got to meet some SFA tough men in there and they soon straightened me out with how the SFA ran, who the top dogs were and the etiquette of the SFA. Best advise I got was to stop trying so hard, don't post just to get likes and take nothing personally -its fantasy. Looking back on my rookie season I wouldn't change anything other than joining the Furies, what a bunch of flogs.

Ok, so I was recruited to the league under a different username many many years ago.

I was a great poster then, and I’m even better now with my new identity, and am probably one of the best the league has ever seen.

As a professional in the field of *redacted* I found it relaxing to come on here and dissect the multitude of personalities and posting styles that the Sweet FA has to offer, and to break them down and analyse them word for word.

Rather than tell you when it was that I started or who introduced me to the league, I’ll tell you about how the league is now compared to then as it tends to run in a bit of a cycle.

Originally it was pretty chill and qooty banter-oriented with some longstanding feuds here and there. Then it progressed into a toxic environment which was well-received by very few, and the vicious cycle continued on its merry way throughout the annals of league history.

Now is as chill as it’s been in a long while which is what the greater majority of league coffers and participants are currently interested in, and what will attract new and exciting posters to the league.

The SFA is easily the best thing about BigFooty, and I urge anyone who is reading this to at least give it a try for one season, as it is a great little community and has been for all the years I’ve been involved in it.

I started at the Demons in season 23, courtesy of a PM from Van_Dyke, who asked if I'd like to join the mysterious, unknown world known as the SFA. When I agreed, I could not have imagined the multiple premierships or individual awards that awaited me. In real life, I would need a 50 metre penalty, to enable me to kick a ball 55 metres. But in this fantasy league, I was an overnight sensation, and I thought to myself, "I could get used to this!!!" It culminated in a best on ground performance in the season 27 grand final, which coincided with becoming a premiership player for the first time.

One of the great things about the SFA is a sense of mateship that you develop with your team mates, which I've found to be true with both the Demons and Rats. Another special aspect of the place is the caring nature of the wider SFA community: when the SFA commits to a particular cause, they give it their all, and a very impressive amount of money has been raised during my time here.

Finally, people who join the SFA need to understand that, if they take this place too seriously, they won't survive too long. If you give as good as you get, you'll be fine.

I was distracted by a strange, shining object one day on the Dogs board... It was called a "Qooty Tour of BigFooty", and the OP made absolutely no sense whatsoever....

It was written by Ant Bear though - so I later learnt, this was to be expected...

Despite repeatedly saying "I have no idea what is going on", fitzroybowiedog thought that this made me a potential premiership rover for the Roys - although I still had not a single clue what any of these words were....

So, after some soft lighting, a nice dinner and some music, I decided I'd join the Roys - whatever they were.

I debuted (R2, S25) the week after my first posts in the match threads - which always simultaneously amuses and confuses Mobbs . My first few weeks consisted of explaining to people "That I was new here" and generally having no idea what was going on. This was followed by further weeks of having no clue at all what was happening, some interviews explaining I had no idea what was happening and localised periods of massive bewilderment.

Despite this, I received votes in many things, repeatedly ran into open goals and missed on numerous occasions and we ended up fulfilling fitzroybowiedog 's prophecy and ran away with the S25 flag....

Then there was the time I used JoshWoodenSpoon as a stepladder - but that's another story.....

my brother told me

my brother told me

the furies said it was a tennis sim

Anyway, me and my friends have come up with some tips to help you be somewhat ready:

TIP #683.4: Avoid overstuffing your backpack. Never pace too many items in any container. Plus, nobody like messy people (especially the Furies, but legally they are not technically human).

TIP #109A: If you want a haircut, get it two weeks before the start of the season. It will grow in.

TIP #736M: Avoid a last-minute mum haircut job. Nobody wants to be a coconut head.

TIP #305F: The nature of the Sweet FA, especially if you come from the Tour of BigFooty, will try to break you away from your mates. However, there are many different ways to can still do stuff together. Media threads are a good way, but there is also stuff like competitions that will pop up throughout the season.

and most importantly

TIP 503.B: Be ready for surprises. DON’T PAINC!

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