Training the House Down - your club's preseason so far

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Who bought Bennell a calf and what does Lyon expect Bennell to do with it when it grows up to be a cow?
To become the greatest wrestler in Greece, to win six Olympic laurels, Milo had to train like the rest of us. His method? Borrow a new born calf and carry it around Croton day after day, week after week, and month after month. As the calf grew, so did Milo’s strength, until he was the strongest wrestler in Greece and could carry the now full grown bull upon his back.
http://miloandthecalf.com/about/
 
Carlton: Lesser knowns only.

Clem Smith has looked great and nothing like last year. Sure he's had his indiscretions but on-field he's been dynamic and hard......very hard.
Ciaran Byrne should have been the player that jumped out last year before a series of injuries messed up what may have been a breakout year.
Not a lesser known here but Cripps has put on some serious muscle and added speed to his armoury. He's a monster..............in the nicest way.
Graham is always so neat & compact. works his arse off and does everything right. Will become a regular.
Kerridge will be a walk up starter. Not sure how Adelaide let him go.............they must be loaded with riches.
Phillips from GWS has been the real surprise for me. Such an agile and smart giant. Will get regular games next year without doubt.
 

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At Freo;

Fyfe started mainly in the gym but has been pumping out the laps lately. Not yet part of the main group.

Bennell started in the main group but then seemed to get a minor calf complaint in December and was put in the rehab group.

Brady Grey rehabbing a shoulder initially but joined in main group sessions lately.

Sutcliffe also had should surgery in the offseason but returned to normal duties before Grey.

Clancee Pearce also mainly doing laps.

Alex Silvagni mainly in rehab group.

Shane Yarran recovering from medial knee strain from WAFL GF. Lately been pumping out end to end runs with Fyfe.

Morabito completing all main sessions as well as additional agility exercises. TTHD.

Balic - no ball work yet. Recovering from wrist injury.

Neale last year had a limited preseason and struggled with the running loads. This year is one of the better runners. TTHD.

Jon Griffin - TTHD.

Zac Clarke - mainly part of rehab group.

Smokie for best 22; Ethan Hughes, a Fyfe like physical transformation.
 
Jimmy Toumpas sent shockwaves through the Port Adelaide dressing room in scenes not seen since the famous Andrew Walker incident a few years back. He rocked up to the first 3km time trial of the preseason wearing a cap, notable as he was the only player to equip himself with one. He subsequently finished in sixth place, although there is some conjecture as to what sort of impact the hat played in the ordeal. Ken Hinkley had some interesting words to say after the event. "Look, bubblegum, lemon and pandemonium all have an 'm' in them. Birthdays mean nothing to mountains and trees grow and fall."

Travis Boak has continued to stamp his mark, picking up a variety of stamps from the cheap as chips craft section. It has been rumoured that his favourite stamps are of a train and a star with the caption 'good job' underneath the imagery. Robbie Gray has been said to have pestered Travisy about sharing his stamps among the playing group to which he has apparently agreed to. Morale is high.

Westhoffy and Hartletty have bulked up immensely. Westhoffy has apparently put on 500 grams to weigh a staggering 15% more than at the same time last year. Broadbenty and Pittardy have been working on their offensive aerial intercept collecting drives, implementing a range of strategies and high-performance training methods to their increasing workloads while adjusting their metabolic retention capabilities through the use of advanced sports technology and training methods.

Of the new recruits, Snellingy and Bonnery have hit the track hard on a number of occasions, but have picked themselves up each time and continued on with training.

Look for rapid improvement from Sam the Port Adelaide Man of Mystery Gray, who this year successfully cooked 7 steaks all medium rare for himself and six dwarves before then devouring 16 raw eggs with his arms tied behind his back on June 16th. He'll be looking to increase on these returns in 2016 and apparently once walked in on a strange scene involving his parents when he was 17. After being startled by a nightmare, Sam, or 'Samuel' for short, entered his parents room with the intention of sleeping in between them that night where he would be safe. Upon opening the door, Sam found his dad dressed in nothing but a bath mat tied around his neck like a cape, while his mother had sticky taped six empty toilet rolls to her head as she rubbed his fathers left hairy nipple with her elbow while singing the national anthem.

All in all Port Adelaide looks set for a massive year in 2016, possibly bigger than the grand canyon. We have upped performance levels by 53.6% across all areas and have strategized our attack methods, ready to assault 2016 with vigour and conviction as we strive to once again lead the national footballing agency in to the new millenium with the speed of one thousand ostriches.
 
At Freo;

Fyfe started mainly in the gym but has been pumping out the laps lately. Not yet part of the main group.

Bennell started in the main group but then seemed to get a minor calf complaint in December and was put in the rehab group.

Brady Grey rehabbing a shoulder initially but joined in main group sessions lately.

Sutcliffe also had should surgery in the offseason but returned to normal duties before Grey.

Clancee Pearce also mainly doing laps.

Alex Silvagni mainly in rehab group.

Shane Yarran recovering from medial knee strain from WAFL GF. Lately been pumping out end to end runs with Fyfe.

Morabito completing all main sessions as well as additional agility exercises. TTHD.

Balic - no ball work yet. Recovering from wrist injury.

Neale last year had a limited preseason and struggled with the running loads. This year is one of the better runners. TTHD.

Jon Griffin - TTHD.

Zac Clarke - mainly part of rehab group.

Smokie for best 22; Ethan Hughes, a Fyfe like physical transformation.

Great update. Cheers.
 
Sure he is in the USA training, not visiting g his partners family;):p
He's just doing what he does at this time every year in recent years, which is, as you say, spending time with his wife's family and so-on over there, but it's not like he just sits on the couch all day! He does his own training, and apparently this time he's amped up the running side of it and has or intends to shed some bulk.
 
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I have glimpsed in on a couple of sides. All St Kilda players are looking like absolute beasts, so I wont even pick out individuals - it would be unfair. I ventured down to Collingwoods training, Adams looks good. Next door I watched Melbourne - standouts were Petracca and Vandenberg. I will try and get to Richmond's training this week, and will keep you guys posted. But all I can say for sure is that St Kilda look like the stand out side this pre-season.
 

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Im just really glad we are doing 3km time trials instead of 2km. Our new fitness guru has shaken things up alot. Its what we needed.
Brace yourself for a mass exodus of players next off season, because they preferred the standard 2km time trial.
 
Geelong as a whole ABSOLUTELY training the house down.....



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Can you explain this joke for those playing at home?

Is it an inference that he is a dog?

Or that he lives in a dog's house?

Or his training loads have diminished?

I dislike the kennel reference. I would have been more subtle and said that Masten was chomping at the bit, ready to go and was muzzled for everyone else's safety
 

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Training the House Down - your club's preseason so far

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