Travel What irks you most about airlines?

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Yes I know cancellations, lost baggage, pricing and queues and the general ennui of having to hang around will feature. And to be sure these ‘features’ of airline travel are somewhere on my list.

Top of my list by the length of Runway 1 at Tullamarine are obnoxious children and their odious parents.

On really busy routes like Melbourne -Sydney, domestic carriers should provide for family friendly flights at a heavily discounted price. The same innovation should be mandatory on long international flights.

Balancing this adults like me would pay more - 10% maybe - travelling with the joy of knowing some malevolent child of Satan will not be kicking the back of your chair, shrieking away etc.

….. And not having to argue with their gormless parent(s) when you politely ask them to control their child and they don’t then slightly irritate them when you say you have a 2nd hand parachute in the overhead luggage that you are happy to put on their child. Of course my efforts to educate said gormless parents on nature v nurture debates are often sadly wasted.

A friend had an acquaintance who took her famously difficult three youngsters off to London.

My friend, “However did you manage with the kids.”

The mother, “It was fine. I thought it through and used some mild sleeping pills”.

My friend, “That was a bit risky. How did the kids respond?”

The mother, ”What! No! I’d never drug the kids. I took the pills. It was great. I figured they couldn’t run away or cause too much trouble and besides there were lots of other adults around.”

Lest you think I am some kind of monster, I am not suggesting banning children flying on adult preferred flights. Of course they can and their doting folks can pay 50% more than the adult fare. While on board children would be placed at the back of the plane in a sound proofed plexiglass glass closed area, like at Ikea or some pubs.
 
Not so much airlines, but airports.

It shits me to no end how there is no standard in airport security practices and different airports (even in the same country) just do different shit.

For instance, having to take your shoes off in the US - dumb. Having to take out your individual toiletries and put them in a plastic bag in the UK - dumb.

Having to take all individual electronic devices out of your bag is also stupid, ffs every airport needs to upgrade their machines to the ones in Perth airport which scan the whole bag, no need to take anything out. Some of the airports have those now (props to Atlanta, great scanners) however some don't have them yet (looking at you LAX).

The lack of standard between airports says to me that a lot of the quirks are pointless and not necessary.
 
Airports - ****wits who crowd around the baggage collection carousel. Stand back a couple of metres, and everyone can see and access the belt.
 

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Airports - *******s who crowd around the baggage collection carousel. Stand back a couple of metres, and everyone can see and access the belt.
To add on to this, dumbarses who either walk too slowly in main walkways or just stop in the middle of a busy walkway or intersection to talk or use their phone.

Dumbarses who aren't prepared when they get to security and are fumbling around getting their shit together holding everyone up

Dumbarses who don't have their boarding passes ready when going through the gate.
 
Diversity hiring. Truly horrifying.
You can listen to Airline CEO's (interviews are out there) bat on about how they need more females/mentally challenged people/ "unstable" people, "recovering" drug addicts, physical disabled the list goes on...
Horrifying.
The standard answer should be "We understand we have a very serious responsiblity in having peoples lives literally in our hands, and ensure we only employ the best most qualified people to work the jobs required in our organisation"
But no, not a word of anything like that, just got to hit those quotas.
Stay out of the air, is very nearly here as a valid option.
Who would have thought, we all would have laughed at that only a few years ago, but this is the absolute clown world reality in which we all now live.
Look at the arse clownery just this week of a ****ing door plug getting sucked off a plane, because someone "forgot to tighten the bolts"....
GTFOH, absolute shit show and its only going to get worse.
 
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Diversity hiring. Truly horrifying.
You can listen to Airline CEO's (interviews are out there) bat on about how they need more females/mentally challenged people/ "unstable" people, "recovering" drug addicts, physical disabled the list goes on...
Horrifying.
The standard answer should be "We understand we have a very serious responsiblity in having peoples lives literally in our hands, and ensure we only employ the best most qualified people to work the jobs required in our organisation"
But no, not a word of anything like that, just got to hit those quotas.
Stay out of the air, is very nearly here as a valid option.
Who would have thought, we all would have laughed at that only a few years ago, but this is the absolute clown world reality in which we all now live.
Look at the arse clownery just this week of a ******* door plug getting sucked off a plane, because someone "forgot to tighten the bolts"....
GTFOH, absolute s**t show and its only going to get worse.
Stick with the middle eastern airlines, they don't entertain that sort of shit.
 
I could make a list of about 50 things I reckon, done quite a bit of flying lately. The lack of a standardised security procedure is a good one, even between Adelaide and Melbourne they're different.

I actually started a list on my phone of things about flying that annoy me here are a few things:
  • Crying kids
  • Sick people on the plane
  • USB ports on some planes and not others
  • Wifi- waste of time offering it if you burn through it in 5 mins
  • Airports that are so big you get on a bus as soon as the plane lands
  • Being well over 6 foot, if I'm in the aisle my leg gets knocked everytime someone walks down the aisle
I could go on....
 
People who sit in the wrong seat. How hard is it to find a row number and take the correct seat, I’m amazed some of these people even made it to the airport.
 
Yes I know cancellations, lost baggage, pricing and queues and the general ennui of having to hang around will feature. And to be sure these ‘features’ of airline travel are somewhere on my list.

Top of my list by the length of Runway 1 at Tullamarine are obnoxious children and their odious parents.

On really busy routes like Melbourne -Sydney, domestic carriers should provide for family friendly flights at a heavily discounted price. The same innovation should be mandatory on long international flights.

Balancing this adults like me would pay more - 10% maybe - travelling with the joy of knowing some malevolent child of Satan will not be kicking the back of your chair, shrieking away etc.

….. And not having to argue with their gormless parent(s) when you politely ask them to control their child and they don’t then slightly irritate them when you say you have a 2nd hand parachute in the overhead luggage that you are happy to put on their child. Of course my efforts to educate said gormless parents on nature v nurture debates are often sadly wasted.

A friend had an acquaintance who took her famously difficult three youngsters off to London.

My friend, “However did you manage with the kids.”

The mother, “It was fine. I thought it through and used some mild sleeping pills”.

My friend, “That was a bit risky. How did the kids respond?”

The mother, ”What! No! I’d never drug the kids. I took the pills. It was great. I figured they couldn’t run away or cause too much trouble and besides there were lots of other adults around.”

Lest you think I am some kind of monster, I am not suggesting banning children flying on adult preferred flights. Of course they can and their doting folks can pay 50% more than the adult fare. While on board children would be placed at the back of the plane in a sound proofed plexiglass glass closed area, like at Ikea or some pubs.
Easily solved.

Slightly discounted fare provided to those travelling with young kids then a premium added which is decided at the end of the flight by the other passengers.
 
WTF were they thinking with Terminal 4 at Tullamarine?

You would nearly find more space in a can of sardines.
 

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For a techno enthusiast, I've genuinely never understood why a laptop can't be scanned whilst inside a bag.

The explanation that makes most sense is that it's hard to distinguish amongst everything else in the bag, but still doesn't seem quite right to me...

I've seen a trial at a few airports recently where you don't have to take anything out of your bag - I was surprised at how much more convenient it was.
 
For a techno enthusiast, I've genuinely never understood why a laptop can't be scanned whilst inside a bag.

The explanation that makes most sense is that it's hard to distinguish amongst everything else in the bag, but still doesn't seem quite right to me...

I've seen a trial at a few airports recently where you don't have to take anything out of your bag - I was surprised at how much more convenient it was.

It seems every domestic airport has different rules, you need to leave the laptop in the bag, you need to take it out, you need to have them on separate trays, you need to take your belt off, you don't etc.

And the pricks at security always seem exasperated, like you should have an Excel table of the requirements at every airport and know it off the top of your head.
 
Not so much airlines, but airports.

It shits me to no end how there is no standard in airport security practices and different airports (even in the same country) just do different s**t.

For instance, having to take your shoes off in the US - dumb. Having to take out your individual toiletries and put them in a plastic bag in the UK - dumb.

Having to take all individual electronic devices out of your bag is also stupid, ffs every airport needs to upgrade their machines to the ones in Perth airport which scan the whole bag, no need to take anything out. Some of the airports have those now (props to Atlanta, great scanners) however some don't have them yet (looking at you LAX).

The lack of standard between airports says to me that a lot of the quirks are pointless and not necessary.
Flew through Canberra and Adelaide. Canberra gets grumpy if you tkae item's out, Adelaide they get snarky if you don't take everything out at security. Same rules but only actual similarity is both places had heaps of staff standing around doing stuff all watching 2-3 people actually working.

My main hate for airlines at present is no updates, you get prompts to rush to gate, get to the gate and there is no plane - ask a staff member (if you can find one) for an update, get told plane is on time - point to empty gate you are supposedly boarding at in five minutes and they reluctantly get on their radio and finally tell you it will be late but they have no clue by how much.

On SM-A125F using BigFooty.com mobile app
 
I can't stand flying with people who think there are "unwritten rules" about flying and try to police tedious shit like who reclines their seat and who puts what in the overhead storage.
 
I can't stand flying with people who think there are "unwritten rules" about flying and try to police tedious s**t like who reclines their seat and who puts what in the overhead storage.
There's only one:

Aisle gets an armrest and extra leg room, window gets an armrest and a wall to lean on, middle gets 2 armrests.
 
Arlines not checking bags through to a final destination

Flew from LA to Perth via Melbourne last week and I had to pick up my bag at the carousel and then check it again, almost missed my connecting flight because of it.

This is supposed to be a standard practice. If a huge airport like Qatar can manage to send bags through to a final destination surely Tullamarine can too
 
Seriously, Melbourne to Sydney is an hour flight. If you can't put up with kids for an hour then maybe drive. On a long international flight I get they can be a nuisance. But a short domestic trip? Please.
 
Seriously, Melbourne to Sydney is an hour flight. If you can't put up with kids for an hour then maybe drive. On a long international flight I get they can be a nuisance. But a short domestic trip? Please.
Also just invest in some decent noise cancelling headphones?

Problem solved
 
Cabin crew who think they're comedians when doing to the pre-flight announcements.

Had a Jetstar flight recently where the cabin crew talked very loudly at the back of the plane about their life for the whole flight.

I thought it was very inconsiderate.
 
Airlines offering a food service for flights between Melbourne and Launceston. It's 50 minutes, just wait lol
 

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