Roast What the heck is this? 12 Days of Crows Christmas promo

[lincsPJ]

I just listened to it for the first time after watching the first half yesterday.

My emotions fluctuated more than the keys she was singing in. Shock. Shame. Anger. Hilarity. Picturing how hot the singer is when she "sings" 5 Eddie goals. Acceptance.

 

[Mike Smyth]

Will Nige let us sing this at the next chant night?

 

[Pugsley]

Will Nige let us sing this at the next chant night?

Only if we wave a flag like a nimrod

 

[PrideOf]

Ok, having a more in-depth listen now

She literally fluctuated between 3 different keys in the first 3 verses. PrideOf could back me up here, I'm guessing? Amateur hour for sure

Yep. Three keys. G, G flat, and G even flatter.

I played this for my kids. Their response was: "did Port Power put this out to try and make us look bad?"

No kids. We did a good enough job of that ourselves.

 

[Brentmeister]

Crows roped Tim and Eric into their marketing team by the looks of it. Good work Fages.

Saw Tim & Eric at Hamer Hall on Wednesday night. Hilarious stuff.

This 12 days of christmas vid though. That ain't good.

 

[Brentmeister]

At least everyone on the main bigfooty board are getting a good laugh out of it.

 

[Drugs Are Bad Mackay?]

At least everyone on the main bigfooty board are getting a good laugh out of it.

Heads must roll

 

[moogerfooger]

I think this is someone's idea of an autotune gag. Doesn't sound like the singer was at fault - sounds like an amateur producer played around with autotune in mixing and deliberately made it sound off key.

 

[Cap]

At least everyone on the main bigfooty board are getting a good laugh out of it.

who cares? do you live your life on what other people think?

 

[cammo6556]

Oh dear god. It's aural sandpaper.

 

[Houston]

I'm pretty keen on the three Darren Jarmans though.

 

[Pugsley]

Heads must roll

Nude nut would at least get a wig as a parting gift.

 

[Pugsley]

I'm pretty keen on the three Darren Jarmans though.

He'd eat for 6 of us, Texas.

 

[1970crow]

Heads must roll

Who cares what a bunch of anonymous bloggers think.

 

[Drugs Are Bad Mackay?]

Is one of our media team getting moved on and this is their parting shot?

 

[Huntercrow]

This video gives me flashbacks to the Tippett sanctions. To quote Cmndstab 'I could kill a child'. I had thought that I was winning my battle with depression and social anxiety, but this video has made question that, it has made me question the point of my life. I have seen some horrible, disturbing s**t, but this is objectively the worst thing I have ever seen, and that is struggling to be hyperbole. I cringed so much watching this that my head is now permanently wedged within my torso, I have no neck, and I have never played Rugby. Shame on you Adelaide Football Club.




Is obviously hyperbole

Hey it inspired your ripping response............so was worth the pain!

 

[Huntercrow]

As much as I admire her devotion to off season entertainment we should draw the line at the Auditorily disabled.

 

[Huntercrow]

I've been floating in my pool for several hours sucking Vodka and her dulcet tones are winning me over.

 

[Huntercrow]

Time for bed

 

[Messiah]

Time for bed

They should have given my favourite singer Wing a gig

 

[FR0GGY]

Is one of our media team getting moved on and this is their parting shot?

They'd want to make sure their next job was already lined up!

 

[King Elvis]

What a piece of s**t.

Is Smart heading our marketing department these days?

 

[Glenno23]

 

[Glenno23]

The idea about a 12 days of Christmas song is not new, nor is it that bad..... but the execution.... what were they thinking?

 

[Slippery Pete]

They say every cloud has a silver lining. Out of the train wreck that is this video has emerged perhaps the greatest thread of 2015. Never before have I used the like button so liberally.

We start with a much deserved dig at Phil the walking, talking insomniac cure Harper:

Harper went rogue.

Wright Away captured the majority video reaction perfectly:

To quote Cmndstab 'I could kill a child'.

Rippa calling out the North Korean Crows media department:

Negative comments on the YouTube video were deleted...how about instead delete the video and pretend it never existed, AFC?

Spackler decided sarcasm would be the best form of defence, but must have known not even cynical humour can make this better.

I know Port fans have been laughing at the Christmas video but I think there is a strong element of jealousy going on.

Captain obvious award goes to Kristof:

She really can't sing.

1990Crow has a dig at a Port intruder:

Why are you here?

(In fairness, 1990crow, if Port released this absolute abomination we'd all be over there, too.)

Sangiuinarius asks the salient questions we all know will never be answered. Along with "Why is Phil Harper still on the payroll?" and "About that logo..." Ah, forget it.

I didn't make it past day two.

What the actual **** is this...

Who approved this?
Who oversaw this?

And then who decided that it should be released?

Hemi captured exactly what I was thinking. That this absolute embarrassment was crafted, produced and sung by Katrina Gill. Katrina, apologies if it's not you, but you do have form:

What was that? and did they skip a professional singer and stick Katrina Gill in to blast out some notes?

And what would a bad singing thread be without a Meat Loaf reference? Even if the Crows Christmas video made Meatloaf's GF performance sound like Sinatra:

It was downright deplorable. Made me singing Evie in a karaoke bar sound like Meat Loaf singing at a grand final except I wouldn't run out of breath.

Some posters, amazingly, even tried to defend the indefensible:

You lot are acting like they have put this on TV as a membership commercial, or are playing it after every goal at Adelaide Oval. It's just a shitty youtube video made by the media team after probably being told to make some Christmas videos.

That doesn't make it right Pdub.

Knobby proves he's either tone deaf, blind or both:

I actually like it

StonesThrow touches on how hard it is starting to get just telling people you support this club:

I think people are annoyed/embarrassed because things like this create an image of a club they love and pay money to be a member of.

PrideOf elegantly assuages the detractors with a beautiful Spackler-esque assessment of Gill et al's musical prowess:

To all you haters out there, listen up.

As a musician, I can tell you just how hard it is to sing in the key of G, then G-flat, then F - all in the same verse.

But this clip has pulled that off. So back off.

Below is the gif of the year. By miles. Kids, if there's a gun in your house, PLEASE do not let anybody listen to the Crows Christmas song:

Holy s**t that is bad. Just listening to that is like

PrideOf again, pointing out, quite accurately, that children are more perceptive than our media department:

I played this for my kids. Their response was: "did Port Power put this out to try and make us look bad?"

And sometimes, you just have to save the simple, most salient assessments for last:

What a piece of s**t.