Society & Culture Things in life you just don't understand

[quickstraw]

Some context of your own situation and experience would be useful to frame things a bit better

This is not about me. It's about human nature. We can dress this up any way we like but in the end it all boils down to the underlying human nature.

Some claim they are still madly in love. Drill down a bit and what it really means is "I'm happily married and accept that over time the love fades and you become less physically attracted to your partner". Whether people want to call this "still in love" or "out of love" is subjective, but underneath its still all the same. But "madly in love", yeah bullshit, that's just people kidding themselves or maintaining an exterior facade.

 

[Quivorir]

Maybe if we all ignore him he will go away.

 

[Catfish Alley]

Are you in love like you were in the first 3 years? If you say yes, then I call bullshit.

Are we all touchy-feely like in the dating days? No, not as much. That's chemical infatuation that is well documented. I think that's what you meant by 'madly in love'. I know people that change relationships and chase that. I can understand it if that's the thing for you.

To me, those days weren't as good as now though. I would definitely say we know and understand each other much better now and the love is deeper. And certainly physical attraction is still there and strong.

 

[Cruyff14]

This is not about me. It's about human nature. We can dress this up any way we like but in the end it all boils down to the underlying human nature.

Some claim they are still madly in love. Drill down a bit and what it really means is "I'm happily married and accept that over time the love fades and you become less physically attracted to your partner". Whether people want to call this "still in love" or "out of love" is subjective, but underneath its still all the same. But "madly in love", yeah bullshit, that's just people kidding themselves or maintaining an exterior facade.

Again, can't accept anybody else's opinion as your own.

 

[quickstraw]

Are we all touchy-feely like in the dating days? No, not as much. That's chemical infatuation that is well documented. I think that's what you meant by 'madly in love'. I know people that change relationships and chase that.

Thanks for acknowledging my point.

I can understand it if that's the thing for you.

it's not for me. I've been with my partner for 15+ years and happy with the choice.

To me, those days weren't as good as now though. I would definitely say we know and understand each other much better now and the love is deeper. And certainly physical attraction is still there and strong.

You call it it "love is deeper" I call it "cohabitation and going through the motions like everyone else". It's the same shit, just different ways of looking at it.

 

[quickstraw]

Again, can't accept anybody else's opinion as your own.

How many times do you need to repeat it? I heard it first time, many moons ago, on another thread. You're spinning your wheels. Either add something or go away.

 

[Catfish Alley]

You call it it "love is deeper" I call it "cohabitation and going through the motions like everyone else". It's the same shit, just different ways of looking at it.

Not going through the motions at all. Way happier now than years and years ago. Just trying to point out that people can be extremely happy after years together without a want to sleep with others. I get that that is settling to you. Others may have a different take on it though. As I said, people are different.

 

[Quivorir]

How many times do you need to repeat it? I heard it first time, many moons ago, on another thread. You're spinning your wheels. Either add something or go away.

Says you. What do you add? You aren't open to others opinions. Its your way or the highway. Either add something, other than "you're wrong im right", or go away.

 

[HBF]

The guys head is so far up his own ass its unbelievable.

That Gen Y has to be seen to be believed......

 

[quickstraw]

Just trying to point out that people can be extremely happy after years together

I'm very much aware of this and never claimed any different.

without a want to sleep with others.

Never claimed this either - assuming "want" means "would if single, wouldn't because I don't want to cheat".

I get that that is unsettling to you.

It's not. Perhaps you need to better understand my point because it seems you have misinterpreted.

Others may have a different take on it though. As I said, people are different.

They are only different in they perceive it differently, but people are more or less the same on this. Perhaps its you who can't see you're the same? You just choose to dress it up differently.

 

[quickstraw]

What do you add?

Talking point without losing my shit and going "I don't like you, waa waa waa".

 

[Sanders]

This is not about me. It's about human nature. We can dress this up any way we like but in the end it all boils down to the underlying human nature.

Well it kinda does come down to you when you talk about what you know and what you have seen.

Its useful to know what experiences are involved in shaping your opinion

 

[Catfish Alley]

It's not. Perhaps you need to better understand my point because it seems you have misinterpreted.

I never said "unsettling". I'm not sure why this has gone on for pages if you agree:

• People can be very happy after years together
• Do not feel the need to cheat
• Different relationships work for different people

Seems like we're on the same page.

 

[quickstraw]

Well it kinda does come down to you when you talk about what you know and what you have seen.

Its useful to know what experiences are involved in shaping your opinion

I've told you what I've seen. There's no exceptions in what I've seen. Psychological studies back it up.

Why don't you come back when you're in your 40s and hanging out in marriage/family wonderland and tell me what you see?

 

[quickstraw]

I never said "unsettling". I'm not sure why this has gone on for pages if you agree:

• People can be very happy after years together
• Do not feel the need to cheat
• Different relationships work for different people

Seems like we're on the same page.

I told you that some time ago.

You haven't been able to understand my point because you're close minded about it. Goes hand in hand with the false facade you put over your relationship that you're still madly in love or "in deeper" love bollocks.

The cold hard truth is more likely co-habitation and family unit works for you and allows you a happy life. I have the same thing. I just don't need to bullshit myself that it's "deeper love".

 

[Catfish Alley]

The cold hard truth is more likely co-habitation and family unit works for you and allows you a happy life. I have the same thing. I just don't need to bullshit myself that it's "deeper love".

Gotcha. Maybe that deeper love comes from seeing my wife as a Mum now. I probably won't take parenting advice from you after seeing this on another thread though

On a lighter note I got pissed up. Was at a BBQ at a park where all these houses backed onto and was having this convo with an 86 year when my 7 year old son road past on a motorised scooter so I broke off from the old dude, ran up, and snap kicked my son off the scooter. Seemed funny at the time. He went of crying to mummy.

 

[quickstraw]

you forgot the bit about the backhand panther.

 

[peternorth]

 

[chargers 09]

I don't understand how people are still talking about this....

 

[SHAKESPEARE]

I don't understand how people are still talking about this....

Yet you continue to keep the topic in the minds of others. Shame on you

 

[phantom13]

quickstraw, i sincerely hope that one day someone manages to say something that will shake you out of your own shell and make you realize that, just maybe, you are not always right, i hope that something will make you stop and go "shit i cant make up a psychological study, theory or anecdote that makes me right, i can't ignore parts of this that don't suit my narrow frame of mind and for once perhaps i am wrong" hell even if it doesn't make you realize you might be wrong maybe it will make you question some of the opinions you hold. I don't think i have ever heard anyone who drinks as much of there own bathwater and is so blindingly opinionated outside of talkback radio. Perhaps you are right about some stuff, throw enough darts and one will hit the board but your infallible belief in your own opinion on EVERY subject you go near is truly staggering. I hope that you can broaden your horizons one day, cause it must be sad in your kingdom of superior knowledge, never feeling challenged to look at something a different way.

 

[SHAKESPEARE]

quickstraw, i sincerely hope that one day someone manages to say something that will shake you out of your own shell and make you realize that, just maybe, you are not always right, i hope that something will make you stop and go "shit i cant make up a psychological study, theory or anecdote that makes me right, i can't ignore parts of this that don't suit my narrow frame of mind and for once perhaps i am wrong" hell even if it doesn't make you realize you might be wrong maybe it will make you question some of the opinions you hold. I don't think i have ever heard anyone who drinks as much of there own bathwater and is so blindingly opinionated outside of talkback radio. Perhaps you are right about some stuff, throw enough darts and one will hit the board but your infallible belief in your own opinion on EVERY subject you go near is truly staggering. I hope that you can broaden your horizons one day, cause it must be sad in your kingdom of superior knowledge, never feeling challenged to look at something a different way.

/quickstraw

 

[quickstraw]

quickstraw, i sincerely hope that one day someone manages to say something that will shake you out of your own shell and make you realize that, just maybe, you are not always right,

Yet you've provided no argument against what I have said. Good work.

realize you might be wrong maybe it will make you question some of the opinions you hold.

personally I think the people that think things like:

1. I hang out with women but don't want to bang
2. I got married and it made me love my partner more
3. Now that I'm in a relationship with my partner I am in "deep love"

should be questioning their opinions, not me.

your infallible belief in your own opinion on EVERY subject you go near is truly staggering.

I've done my research and diligence. You, and others here on the other hand love to speculate about a lot of stuff that you're simply not old enough to experience yet.

I hope that you can broaden your horizons one day, cause it must be sad in your kingdom of superior knowledge, never feeling challenged to look at something a different way.

I pretty sure I'm way more open minded that many on here who are so easily willing to believe the rubbish that makes them feel warm and fuzzy.

"deep love" ftw.

 

[phantom13]

I went to reply to that utter dribble but there really is no point, you are a lost cause.

 

[quickstraw]

I went to reply to that utter dribble but there really is no point, you are a lost cause.

Good luck with you being in "deep love" in your 40s after being married for 10 years. Hope it works for you.