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Two goals deep into Q2 - the augurs are pensive and so am I. Tigers by 17 points!

Sorry guys, I am getting old, I just forgot. Thanks for your concern. Boot Hill aint got my bonets. Transmissin has resumed

Friends, VB is ditch-water compared with West Horsham's nectar of the gods . . . . West End Lager. I will be keenly watch this debacle (Crows by 10 points) to determine the WH bogans are more inbred than their Port counterparts.

Caleb reminds me of the young Chris Judd. Power in his legs will come.

My dear friends, that is a victory for the ages. The day will come when we are back to being thumped again - this is a golden age for us!

Friends, in this town with neither cranes and nor teeth, I predictthat Port West Horsham, spearleaded by that latter-day goliath Charlie Dixon, will defeat our boys by four points

Friends, nothing will ever expiate the pain of 87 and 88 for us older guys. Share your thoughts after the game. Orks by 17 points

The Good - when Bevo does it tough in the after-match press conference. Mandatory watching! Westernfail Dogs - it is time to slay the sacred cow!

Friends I have always hated Bevo, even when he wore the Red and the Blue and paraded around in that loathsome Jack of Diamonds mullet. Please share your thoughts after the game - Western Faildogs by 15 points

Dont you just hate that shitty little ground - the SCG? Swans by 10 points. Share your angst after the game - and it is good to be back!

I will always love Clayton and his Fist of God goal.

Until I die, I will love Clayton Oliver and his Fist of God goal. I much rather that he be afflicted with the Attention deficit disorder stuff - rather than the temptation that pre-dated his arrival.

I met Ron once in the Demons shop under the MCG. I was accompanied by my two kids, one of whom shook his hand - and RDB urged to do it a second time with a firmer grip. We were alone. I got him to sign the famous photo from 57 where he is being tackled by Bob Sutter. I should have asked him if...

“I’m Melbourne and always will be … it runs through my veins,” Barassi said recently.

My friends. We should have got rid of BBB at the end of 2022 - and Tom McDonald after the grandfinal where his contribution was modest. In their place, I would have brought back Jesse Hogan from Freo for a packet of chips. For the most part, JH had a great track record with us. IN his...

Friends, the Battle of Châlons is one of the bloodiest battles to have occurred towards the end of the Western half of the Roman Empire. It pitted Aetius, the last of the great Roman generals, against Attila the Hun and his minions. The battle was so bloody, it is said that the spirits of both...

Beset with doubt, i consulted the augurs. In haughty tones, they told me that there is nothing new under the sun, For example, in the year of grace 378, the legions of Rome were vanquished at Adrianople by a Gothic incursion. The Emperor himself fell in battle. His body was never recovered. Nor...

I dont care if we win by 186 points. I dont care if we lost by a similar margin. I dont care if BF kicks over 18 goals. I JUST WANT NO INJURIES !!!! Please share your thoughts after the game! Swans by 9 points

They haunt me yet in my dreams and nightmares alike: Hudson, Scott, Hendrie, Crimmins, Moncrief, Michael Byrne, Dermie, Dunstall, Ayres, Buckenara and Crawford, accompanied by their legions of late. To attend a match at VFL Park was to lose to the Wee and Poo. We beat them in 1971 - the next...

The augurs are pensive. So too the Legion – it’s restless. An Evil long thought extinct or emasculated down to bone has risen from Hell – to the acclaim of Big Jack and Big Dick Pratt (who are domiciled in that fiery domain with red-hot pokers up their clackers). Accompanied by thousands of...

Friends, as the airlines buckle under the demand to fly spectators to Tassie for this Match of the Century, please share your thoughts after the game.

Friends, I have a deep love of Dimma, his selflessness and commitment to the cause. He's a gracious man. Loyalty is his leitmotiv. When he yapped "Team first, individual second!" who could question this legend of the game? Anyway, after this panegyric, please share your thoughts after our...

Comrades, please share your thoughts after the game wherein the Dees were humliated by the Crows by 22 points.

My brothers and sisters, if we win tonight, I will be amazed. Gawd we need Clarry back. My genuine prediction: Lions by 40 points.

Well at least Ross can no longer start with ten guys behind the bounce. Even so, this is going to be a forgettable, low-scoring affair where the Aints will prevail by 9 points. Please share your ennuui after the debacle. Once were Kings!

Sorry about last week, gents. The Thursday night got me. We are not in good form at the moment. It is about time that Hogan kicked a bag., GWS by 24 points

Friends, while Collingwood has a great record against us in Home and Away, they have only beaten us in three games that matter: 1958 GF, Round 17 1965 and Round 23, 2017 (MFC or CFC please correct me if I am wrong). That said, the Pommy Monarch's Birthday bash is developing a life of its own. We...

Whatever one might say about the aesthetics of the game, it is always an immense pleasure to beat the Cheats and we have been doing so since 2014 - correct?

Brothers and Sisters in Red and Blue, never forget that Carlton are cheats. They cheated their way in 1945, 1970, 1979, 1987 and 1995. Alas we live in a fallen world where virtue accounts for little. Share your thoughts after the game, where the Cheats will prevail by 10 points as we play them...

friends, I will never forgive Freo for all those unwatchable games they played under Ross the Boss. They will never win a flag. Too bad for us, they will beat the Dees by 16 points today at the 'G