A small survey: Suicide

[Moo://_Cow]

You are a little bit thick aren't you?

Why you even bother to reply is beyond me.

 

[red+black]

This seems to be the main suicide thread I could find.

A workmate of mine committed suicide this week, male, late 30s, married, 2 young boys, physically fit, plays 2-3 sports competitively, had plenty of mates, was very confident in who he was, not arrogant, an all-round good bloke that seemed to have everything he wanted.

I spoke to him on Sunday about a work issue, I never knew of a couple of personal issues that he's been going through lately. We were all in shock when we were told, you just think it's a big joke, it isn't real, matter of time before someone says "Ha! Got ya!", but that's not going to happen.

Anyone else had someone close commit suicide? What were your feelings at the time?

 

[mantis]

I have known 3 guys who suicided & before the idiots get in, no they weren't my husbands.

The first was my friends boyfriend when we were 17, he hanged himself when she broke up with him. The second was the brother of a friend in Perth who was 27, who also hanged himself. The third was a close relative who also hanged himself, he was 29. Seems men choose hanging as their way out, very sad.

 

[Faithful Hawk]

My brother committed suicide 8 years ago after a long battle with Drug addiction and various mental disorders. At the time I was very angry with what he had put the family through and it took me many years to forgive him and to move on in life. Through out this time I started to question what the point of being alive was and where my life was heading (I had lost my dad to a sudden brain tumor 2 years prior). Luckly I was strong enough in myself to seek help and to get to the source of the problems I was having and to find a way to work through them.

Now I have a lovely partner and 2 young daughter who would never leave.

I know people can be very close minded when it come to the topic of suicide and as said before that can be a very dengerous thing. It is not always the people you think it will be who attempt or succeed in killing themsleves. Sometimes just acknowledging a person needs help or actually helping them can make all the difference, rather than purely telling them to suck it up and that they are weak for thinking like that.

 

[Dan Moody]

This seems to be the main suicide thread I could find.

A workmate of mine committed suicide this week, male, late 30s, married, 2 young boys, physically fit, plays 2-3 sports competitively, had plenty of mates, was very confident in who he was, not arrogant, an all-round good bloke that seemed to have everything he wanted.

I spoke to him on Sunday about a work issue, I never knew of a couple of personal issues that he's been going through lately. We were all in shock when we were told, you just think it's a big joke, it isn't real, matter of time before someone says "Ha! Got ya!", but that's not going to happen.

Anyone else had someone close commit suicide? What were your feelings at the time?

that's eerily similar to my profile, I have 3 kids.
had a rough trot of recent months and it's family and sport that have helped me through. you occasionally think about it but then realise the mess you'd leave behind.
everyone has their dark moments where you want to go back to some place in time or have the chance to do something again. and from time to time when going through a bad patch you remember the good times and wonder if they'll ever come again.
the important thing is to keep busy and talk about the problems with someone you trust.

 

[Spandex]

My best mate commited suicide about 3 years ago. It still takes the wind out of me when I think about it. It keeps me awake at night. It's something that I don't think I will ever get over completely.

It was an awful experience for myself, particularly the way I found out, which I won't go into detail about here. But it was something that didn't seem real for a long time. I still find myself thinking sometimes, "hey, I'll go down and pop into Lou's place and see what he's up to." But he's gone. Long gone.

He didn't hang himself. He gased himself with some set up he found the plans for on the internet. He made sure it was going to work. Rather typical of him.

Some people consider suicide to be a weak act or a selfish act. No doubt there are probably cases where this is true, but I feel they are the minority. In the majority of cases, people who commit suicide have suffered severe depression or other mental disorders for a long time.

I don't consider suicide to be the act of a rationally thinking human being, but rather an act of madness and desperation from someone who has been suffering terribly and is out of their mind with despair. Just think about taking your own life, and how you would have to be feeling in order to do such a thing. It's not something a person in their right mind would do.

I think the statistic is that 20% of people who suffer bi-polar depression commit suicide. That's a pretty frightening stat for anybody who does suffer bi-polar disorder or knows someone who does.

Anyway, that's my 2cents.

 

[volcboy]

1. Age/Gender

35 Male
______________

2. Have you ever considered about attempting a suicide?

Yes



2b. Only answer to this question if you answered yes, a) in the previous question.
Did your suicide thoughts include serious depression?

Yes


2c. Only answer to this question if you answered yes a) in question 2.
Did you think about attempting a suicide in the last 6 months?

No

3. Do you think suicide is acceptable?

Yes, everyone decides of their own life.
b) No. Never.

4. Has someone you knew well, ever done a suicide?

Yes, more than one. Known well - probably 3-4
____________________________________________________

 

[Off The Couch]

My best mate commited suicide about 3 years ago. It still takes the wind out of me when I think about it. It keeps me awake at night. It's something that I don't think I will ever get over completely.

It was an awful experience for myself, particularly the way I found out, which I won't go into detail about here. But it was something that didn't seem real for a long time. I still find myself thinking sometimes, "hey, I'll go down and pop into Lou's place and see what he's up to." But he's gone. Long gone.

He didn't hang himself. He gased himself with some set up he found the plans for on the internet. He made sure it was going to work. Rather typical of him.

Some people consider suicide to be a weak act or a selfish act. No doubt there are probably cases where this is true, but I feel they are the minority. In the majority of cases, people who commit suicide have suffered severe depression or other mental disorders for a long time.

I don't consider suicide to be the act of a rationally thinking human being, but rather an act of madness and desperation from someone who has been suffering terribly and is out of their mind with despair. Just think about taking your own life, and how you would have to be feeling in order to do such a thing. It's not something a person in their right mind would do.

I think the statistic is that 20% of people who suffer bi-polar depression commit suicide. That's a pretty frightening stat for anybody who does suffer bi-polar disorder or knows someone who does.

Anyway, that's my 2cents.

And a good two cents it was

My daughter had a friend who committed suicide about 5 years ago now (he was 21) and he was the last person you would ever have thought would have done such a thing.

Five years on and they still talk about how they missed the signs (when you look back you can see them) and whether they could have done more. The night before he took his life he actually went round to every person he knew at the party and apologised for things he had done that had hurt them and told them all he loved them. At the time they thought it funny because he was drunk but by the same time the next day had hung himself.

I have recently due to my line of employment have done a Mental Health First Aid Training course and it has been a real eye opener and something I am glad I have done and would encourage others to do the same. Most of us do general first aid, so why not take it a step further.

 

[Power King]

I think people who dismiss those that have committed suicide as wimps etc that couldn't harden up and get over life are essentially stupid idiots themselves.

If it was that simple, then obviously they would have gotten over it so easily already.

I think it's too hard a topic to comment on appropriately unless you've been appropriately educated on it, and/or have experienced depression yourself.

People need to understand there is a difference between depression and Major Depression. If you don't know it, read about it.

I would like to add though that suicide will hurt those closest to the committer the most, in a very brutal way.

 

[JamieJohnstone]

Had a mate staying with me this weekend who hadn't seen in years. He revealed after a few drinks he'd tried to kill himself in Year 10. I knew him then - same school, different class - and never had an idea.

Now he's wealthy, successful and seems really happy.

 

[JamieJohnstone]

My best mate commited suicide about 3 years ago. It still takes the wind out of me when I think about it. It keeps me awake at night. It's something that I don't think I will ever get over completely.
.

That's awful. My uncle committed suicide over 20 years ago and I know it still affects my old man - who was his elder brother.

My best mate died of an overdose that while accidental I consider a form of suicide - IE he'd been resucitated so many times he knew if he kept using that shit he'd die one day and did it it anyway, self medicating for a mental illness - and like you, I still have the wind knocked out of me when I think about it.

I know that every September 15 for the rest of my lufe, I'll be thinking of him and feeling pretty low.

 

[ashley12]

Had/have been debating whether to speak about my incident with suicide, so yeah, here goes...

Background. We were a family of 6, two boys and two girls and two parents. Lived in a rural town, things were great. Parents married in 85/86 and had 4 kids pretty quick including me as second oldest. Things go great until about 2002. By now we are all teenagers/ approaching teens and its a relatively hectic household. One of the kids was fairly rebellious and in trouble with police/school occasinally which caused strain. These kind of splits the whole family, and as my Dad worked away for most of our childhoods, most the kids, me as the exception, pretty much sided with Mum for the arguements where I was 50/50 because I spent more time with Dad at his bowls club and my cricket team as a kid. In late 2006 my Mum and Dad end up separating and my Dad moves to a farmhouse about 30km out of town. Younger sister and my Dad never speak, my brother and elder sister rarely get in contact. I moved to Perth in early 2007. Despite living 200km away I see my old man more then my siblings, about once a month.

So anyway, my Dad takes a holiday up north in June/July 2008, and it was at the last moment that I can get time off work and join him up north. We had a ball and at the end of the holidays we drive through Perth to drop me off home. Alas, my pay isnt in and my Dad lends me the $300 I need for my rent/basic shopping. I cant thank him enough, and he mentions to me that at times, with the rest of the kids ignoring/not on speaking terms and the marriage falling apart, that I am at times the only thing he lives for....

My Dad commited suicide in December last year, aged 49.

I was working at a pub when I found out the news. Work got a replacement in and I was told over the phone that my Dad had not gone to work that day and when workmates went looking that a note told them were to go, where they found that he had hung himself.

Words just cant describe how it feels that someone who has you as one of the few things they live for has died. My first thoughts were the fact that with uni, work etc... I had only seen my Dad twice since that holiday. The last game of footy we actually sat down, chatted, had dinner and a few beers was North Melbourne vs West Coast from Carrara in Rnd 8ish 2008. The only way I could really describe it was similar to when you find out that you have been shortchanged in a transactions. Your angry, saddened and not sure whether to blame your own carelessness, the shop person or other people for not helping etc... I sat and cried on the kerb for God knows how long. It could have been 2 minutes, it could have been 20, I honeslty dont know. I painful drive home where I stupidly left the radio on. I cant listen now to a few certain songs without breaking down

A painful lift back into my hometown that night and a very painful 2 weeks at my Mums house before the funeral. At home, I couldnt look anyone square in the eye without thinking/blaming them for their involvement, or lack thereof with my Dad. Dad's immediate family, my siblings and even to an extent my own mother. This infuriated me that I could even contemplate blaming my family for this tragedy. Therefore, if its not there fault, and something changed to make this happen, it must have been my fault. This ripped at me for months afterwards, still does and probably will forever...

It took me about 3 months to even slightly recover from it. Its been almost 7 months to the day now since it happened, and I still occasinally tear up and a random thing that will remind me of Dad, even something completely random i.e that Pussycat Dolls song with the "I will survive..." chorus part. My old man had a Big Mouth Billy Bass that he adored and the rest of us barely tolerated that sang that actual song. Even other things, I struggle to even buy a pie and sauce without thinking how that was "our" thing when traveling on a fishing trip etc... the car I am borrowing at the moment was my old man's that is still in our family name. Everytime I fill it up, the replacement fuel cap that we had to replace on one of our trips reminds me, and it goes on. I played lawn bowls at first social as a kid 8 years old and played a few junior state championships etc... up until I was 18 and a number of events that I won with Dad. I honestly think I will struggle to ever play again... just a lot to keep thinking back on.

Looking back now I have "forgiven" most of my family. One sister I have unless absolutely necessary I havent gone out my way to talk/see for years now, I dont think I could ever really get along with her ever again. The rest I get along with easily enough... However, it still stings inside thinking, i.e blaming, myself if not for murder, then certainly for manslaughter, had I made more of effort to see my old man, answered or called back a few missed phone calls.... that maybe things would be different and I wouldnt have wasted the last 30 mins on this post...

I ended up breaking down a few times in the weeks after this Once with mates out in Kalgoorlie, where I was given a place to stay to relax and enjoy myself. I pretty much drank myself stupid and felt miserable. The other at the work colleagues Christmas party, held the same night my Dad had been organising for the kids to stay over at his house for a BBQ and the rest of it... Just couldnt keep myself together, came close a few times to thinking about commiting suicide myself. Once at the wheel I though very seriously about speeding up and just slamming it of the road and into a tree. By the time I "snapped" out of it. I was doing 35kmh over the limit on a freeway and a lot closer to the edge of the road then I would have liked...

If there is one thing I can take out of it, its that if something goes wrong i.e I cant get a day off work, I have an issue with university, I cop a $600 suckout at poker, I just stop and realise that shit can, does, and has been worse, and probably would be again. However, despite this, I have still only been back to my country town twice since I found out of my Dad's death, once back for the funeral and once more in March. This is something I hope to rectify...

For those who have relatives who perhaps they dont keep in touch with as often as they should, make a phonecall or a drive, and say hello. Its simply not worth going through a close family members/friends suicide, and not something that I would recommend to anyone nor wish on my greatest enemy... If required for your own sake get in touch with organisations such as Beyond Blue.

Its just not worth it...

 

[Masten_Magic]

Questions:

1. Age/Gender

14/Female

2. Have you ever considered about attempting a suicide?

a) Yes


2b. Only answer to this question if you answered yes, a) in the previous question.
Did your suicide thoughts include serious depression?

b) No


3. Do you think suicide is acceptable?

a) Yes, everyone decides of their own life.


4. Has someone you knew well, ever done a suicide?
Yes

 

[Dan Moody]

Had/have been debating whether to speak about my incident with suicide, so yeah, here goes...

Background. We were a family of 6, two boys and two girls and two parents. Lived in a rural town, things were great. Parents married in 85/86 and had 4 kids pretty quick including me as second oldest. Things go great until about 2002. By now we are all teenagers/ approaching teens and its a relatively hectic household. One of the kids was fairly rebellious and in trouble with police/school occasinally which caused strain. These kind of splits the whole family, and as my Dad worked away for most of our childhoods, most the kids, me as the exception, pretty much sided with Mum for the arguements where I was 50/50 because I spent more time with Dad at his bowls club and my cricket team as a kid. In late 2006 my Mum and Dad end up separating and my Dad moves to a farmhouse about 30km out of town. Younger sister and my Dad never speak, my brother and elder sister rarely get in contact. I moved to Perth in early 2007. Despite living 200km away I see my old man more then my siblings, about once a month.

So anyway, my Dad takes a holiday up north in June/July 2008, and it was at the last moment that I can get time off work and join him up north. We had a ball and at the end of the holidays we drive through Perth to drop me off home. Alas, my pay isnt in and my Dad lends me the $300 I need for my rent/basic shopping. I cant thank him enough, and he mentions to me that at times, with the rest of the kids ignoring/not on speaking terms and the marriage falling apart, that I am at times the only thing he lives for....

My Dad commited suicide in December last year, aged 49.

I was working at a pub when I found out the news. Work got a replacement in and I was told over the phone that my Dad had not gone to work that day and when workmates went looking that a note told them were to go, where they found that he had hung himself.

Words just cant describe how it feels that someone who has you as one of the few things they live for has died. My first thoughts were the fact that with uni, work etc... I had only seen my Dad twice since that holiday. The last game of footy we actually sat down, chatted, had dinner and a few beers was North Melbourne vs West Coast from Carrara in Rnd 8ish 2008. The only way I could really describe it was similar to when you find out that you have been shortchanged in a transactions. Your angry, saddened and not sure whether to blame your own carelessness, the shop person or other people for not helping etc... I sat and cried on the kerb for God knows how long. It could have been 2 minutes, it could have been 20, I honeslty dont know. I painful drive home where I stupidly left the radio on. I cant listen now to a few certain songs without breaking down

A painful lift back into my hometown that night and a very painful 2 weeks at my Mums house before the funeral. At home, I couldnt look anyone square in the eye without thinking/blaming them for their involvement, or lack thereof with my Dad. Dad's immediate family, my siblings and even to an extent my own mother. This infuriated me that I could even contemplate blaming my family for this tragedy. Therefore, if its not there fault, and something changed to make this happen, it must have been my fault. This ripped at me for months afterwards, still does and probably will forever...

It took me about 3 months to even slightly recover from it. Its been almost 7 months to the day now since it happened, and I still occasinally tear up and a random thing that will remind me of Dad, even something completely random i.e that Pussycat Dolls song with the "I will survive..." chorus part. My old man had a Big Mouth Billy Bass that he adored and the rest of us barely tolerated that sang that actual song. Even other things, I struggle to even buy a pie and sauce without thinking how that was "our" thing when traveling on a fishing trip etc... the car I am borrowing at the moment was my old man's that is still in our family name. Everytime I fill it up, the replacement fuel cap that we had to replace on one of our trips reminds me, and it goes on. I played lawn bowls at first social as a kid 8 years old and played a few junior state championships etc... up until I was 18 and a number of events that I won with Dad. I honestly think I will struggle to ever play again... just a lot to keep thinking back on.

Looking back now I have "forgiven" most of my family. One sister I have unless absolutely necessary I havent gone out my way to talk/see for years now, I dont think I could ever really get along with her ever again. The rest I get along with easily enough... However, it still stings inside thinking, i.e blaming, myself if not for murder, then certainly for manslaughter, had I made more of effort to see my old man, answered or called back a few missed phone calls.... that maybe things would be different and I wouldnt have wasted the last 30 mins on this post...

I ended up breaking down a few times in the weeks after this Once with mates out in Kalgoorlie, where I was given a place to stay to relax and enjoy myself. I pretty much drank myself stupid and felt miserable. The other at the work colleagues Christmas party, held the same night my Dad had been organising for the kids to stay over at his house for a BBQ and the rest of it... Just couldnt keep myself together, came close a few times to thinking about commiting suicide myself. Once at the wheel I though very seriously about speeding up and just slamming it of the road and into a tree. By the time I "snapped" out of it. I was doing 35kmh over the limit on a freeway and a lot closer to the edge of the road then I would have liked...

If there is one thing I can take out of it, its that if something goes wrong i.e I cant get a day off work, I have an issue with university, I cop a $600 suckout at poker, I just stop and realise that shit can, does, and has been worse, and probably would be again. However, despite this, I have still only been back to my country town twice since I found out of my Dad's death, once back for the funeral and once more in March. This is something I hope to rectify...

For those who have relatives who perhaps they dont keep in touch with as often as they should, make a phonecall or a drive, and say hello. Its simply not worth going through a close family members/friends suicide, and not something that I would recommend to anyone nor wish on my greatest enemy... If required for your own sake get in touch with organisations such as Beyond Blue.

Its just not worth it...

not afraid to admit i had a tear rolling down my cheek reading this.
i hope the coming months are easier on you and your family and the pain becomes a bit more bearable.
and for what it's worth, remember that BigFooty is always here for you too, god knows it's brightened up some shitty days for me in recent months.

 

[JamieJohnstone]

ashley12 - that was a really moving and heart rending piece.

Those emotions re: blame - especially toward yourself and other family members are so powerful.

I know when my uncle - Dad's brother - committed suicide, that my Dad experiences similar feelings for family members like his sister ... he blamed them and resented them.

He still carries those feelings and its not doing him and good, 25 years after the event.

 

[red+black]

Thanks for sharing ash.

 

[Spandex]

Had/have been debating whether to speak about my incident with suicide, so yeah, here goes...

Mate, good on you for posting all of that. I was very moved by it. Very sad story.

I'm not sure I have any great words of wisdom to help you, and I'm not sure if that's what you are seeking, but just know you will work your way through this and hopefully in the end you can find some peace. But, like I said in my own story, it's tough to find that peace. I know.

I do think it's a great thing that people can come to a forum like this and share stories and engaged with one another. It might just be words on a screen written by anonymous posters, but to me, it's meaningful and helpful. More power to the internet I say.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. I hope in doing so, it has helped you out even if just a little.