Win Prizes All Un-Australian, or: Your Worst 22

[wilsonmatic]

CHRIS DAWES as captain.

 

[PTizzle]

I remember Simon Black took about 3 centre square bounces because of stuff-ups with rotations this year. Fantastic player, but can we include him solely as a ruck?

 

[Grizzly_82]

I remember Simon Black took about 3 centre square bounces because of stuff-ups with rotations this year. Fantastic player, but can we include him solely as a ruck?

Will be a HOF, his name shouldn't even be mentioned in this thread.

Hang your head in shame

 

[iBeng]

I always thought Joel McDonald was a pretty fine player at Brisbane but s**t he is one of the biggest spuds running around these days, Melbourne and "player development" is the biggest oxymoron.

Admittedly, I was disappointed when we lost him. Not anymore. Seems we have a few guys who have left us for greener pasters and failed. Sherman, Cameron Wood, McDonald, Brennan and Risca, Brad Dalziell, the guy at Hawks who I forgot the name of and didnt last long for us anyway.

 

[PTizzle]

Will be a HOF, his name shouldn't even be mentioned in this thread.

Hang your head in shame

I would literally marry the man, but it was hilarious when he had to take the centre bounces.

 

[iBeng]

Also, someone HAS to have Cameron Wood as the lead ruck. He is clearly the blueprint of what a tapruckman SHOULDNT be. Useless in the centre, dissapears anywhere outside its circle.

 

[Richo83]

That last game Anthony played was hilarious when the ball kept coming his way and he just kept spilling the mark or fumbling. Or he'd take the mark then line up the set shot and roost it out on the full. His confidence was completely shot, the Freo fans were booing him and Ross Lyon was just looking on bemused, thinking WTF?

Poor bugger. I played a game (4th quarter) like that once when everything I touched turned to s**t, but the ball just kept following me around more than ever before and I basically lost the game for my team.

I watched that game. I was desperately hoping that Lyon would somehow have amnesia and keep him in for the clash against Richmond. Unfortunately, a Fremantle sans Anthony went east and won. Probably the worst game a tiger has played all season is when McGuane took a mark, ran into an open goal, dropped it and kicked a behind. Fun times. One of the worst games I've seen this year was by Cale Morton, who, amongst other things, decided to use his wrong foot when he was in acres of space, and kicked it straight to a Collingwood player. And when I mean straight to him, I mean if they were on the same teams, it would be considered a perfect kick. He's the white version of Tambling. Richmond has four out and out duds: Miller, McGuane, Maric and Jackson. I think you mentioned Connors as a dud or something, said he had average foot skills and a terrible iq. Connors is actually a fairly talented player, the problem is that he's got s**t for brains. Honestly. As for people listing kids, I wouldn't be listing any young players like Post or Dea as the worst 22. The worst 22 should be filled with seasoned veterans who have tried and failed to make it at afl level. Palmer is one example of this. Can get the ball but can't kick at all.

 

[j0rdy1]

Would find room for Zeph Skinner too.

Bit harsh. Played 7 games and off the top of my head he played atleast 3 of them as the sub and he wasn't terrible.

 

[MrKK]

*My opinion and only a bit of fun, don't get upset if you're favourite player is here.
Un-Australian Team 2012
FB: T.Chaplin C.Hooker A.Joseph
HB: T.Logan J.Trengove J.MacDonald
C: J.Polec J.McCarthy P.McGinnity
HF: B.Green(c) C.Dawes J.Sherman
FF: J.Koschitzke L.Jones J.Grant
Ruck: Z.Smith B.Moloney J.Melksham
Int: I.Folau D.Stewart C.Brown(vc)
Sub: A.Maric
Emg: A.Carlile S.Day D.Jackson
Coach: Brendon McCartney assisted by Mark Neeld & Dean Robinson

Chaplin's specialty in kicking clangers directly resulting in opposition goals will not be missed by Port fans.
Hooker was selected for his raw lack of pace and amusing running style as he unsuccessfully chases his opponent around.
Joseph's fumbling ability, particularly deep in defense, will be a valuable asset to this team.
Logan, the man who strikes fear into his opponent and Port fans alike.
Trengove the once highly rated rookie is going backwards at a rate of knots.
MacDonald doesn't stop his man, doesn't hit targets, in fact I'm not sure what he does.
Polec will provide run and make a nice sidestep every few games just to keep the supporters intereseted.
McCarthy's ball winning is impressive however I suspect the opposition may be deliberately giving it to him.
McGinnity is there something about the maccas that prevent you being able to kick a drop punt?
Green's lack of leadership and apparent loss of ability sees him walk into the captaincy on a forward flank.
"Cement hands" Dawes will inspire our forward line by dropping marks, missing goals and losing hitouts all whilst looking angrier than the Hulk.
The Sherminator's selfless play couldn't crack a floundering, injury-riddled Bulldogs side, but he gets a gig here.
Koschitzke, the most aptly named man in the league will continue to injure his fellow forwards and rack up plenty of possessionless quarters.
Jones once one of the best contested marks could't hold a spot in arguably the worst forward line around.
Grant will play in the pocket where his will for the contest and sheer body strength will come to the fore.
Smith thinks he's Naitanui but is really more of a Wood, already surpassed by younger teammates.
Moloney's new 'accountable' style saw him forget what the pill looked like until he wound up at Casey.
Melksham's feux toughness will aid us in accumulating wrestling fines rather than effective kicks.
With Chief's blessing we select Folau as our back up Ruck who's lack of fitness requires a back up himself.
Stewart will be that man when not pretending to be some sort of forward.
Brown's consistent output of <10 disposals, 5 FA and 3 reports a game gives him rights to the vice captaincy. He will also be mentoring the younger players in the off season.
Maric the pre-season specialist has shown his ability to come on and impact a game thus will be our sub.
Carlile will be our defensive cover with his supreme fitness and discipline.
Day is a like for like replacement for our forwards that struggle to kick goals.
Jackson was very unlucky to miss out; failed tags, stupid free kicks, suspensions and clangers he can do it all.

Our elite coaching team have devised a game plan with slow sideways ball movement, whilst saving energy from no defensive pressure to get the ball to our poorly structured forward line in a truly random fashion. McCartney's apathy will be complimented by Neeld's crazy faces. The Weapon will be in charge of fitness and keeping the list healthy. We believe we have the personnel to be completely uncompetitive and represent everything that is Un-Australian.

Surprised it took 87 posts for Daniel Stewart to get a mention, an absolute joke of a tall forward and lazy as the day is long.

 

[juzzo]

Also, someone HAS to have Cameron Wood as the lead ruck. He is clearly the blueprint of what a tapruckman SHOULDNT be. Useless in the centre, dissapears anywhere outside its circle.

Oh I would have, only 6 games though.

 

[BACCS]

I always thought Joel McDonald was a pretty fine player at Brisbane but s**t he is one of the biggest spuds running around these days, Melbourne and "player development" is the biggest oxymoron.

He was actually a favourite of mine at the Lions, but * me, he has gone backward at a rate of knots!

 

[lenny20]

B: Tayte Pears / Zac Dawson / Brett Thornton
HB: Simon Buckley / Cale Hooker / Joel McDonald
C: Justin Sherman / Jarred Brennan (C) / Cale Morton
HF: Jeff Garlett / Chris Dawes / Nathan Djerkurra
F: Addam Maric / Brad Green / Campbell Brown
Foll: Brent Renouf / Aaron Joseph / Tom Logan
Int: Josh Hill / Justin Kositsche / Liam Jones
SUB: Jarrad Grant

Commentator: RompingWins

Tayte Pears: Has received a surprising lack of love in this thread, but managed to beat out an amazingly strong field in the 'Worst Essendon FC Defender' stakes. A few stints up forward proved he's just as good at being bad up front, too.
Zac Dawson: Has incriminating photos of Ross Lyon. It's the only explanation.
Brett Thornton: His eyes are too close together on his head. He's also just not very good at football.
Simon Buckley: Used as ingenious 'mole' figure during the H&A season to ensure that his teammates never get too comfortable during the season proper. Has seen that many would-be-regulation wins for the magpies have gone right down to the wire. Performed above expectations in 2012 and even delivered a few losses, too.
Cale Hooker: Gives the fans what they want to see - bags of goals for power forwards. His play is infused with a nostalgia for the Dunstall, Lockett, Kernahan and Carey era, his eyes often giving the sense of a whimsical longing for times gone by.
Joel McDonald: Melbourne kept the wrong McDonald. And yes, I saw James playing this year.
Justin Sherman: The Sherminator is a T-1000 sent forward in time from the Brisbane premiership team of the early 2000's on a mission to take down the Bulldogs team of the early 2010's. Only the Sherminator knows why. You've been Sherminated.
Jared Brennan: Rumoured to be disappointed that so few of his GC teammates have subscribed to his shining example of "it's not whether you win or lose, it's how flashy you look during the game. LOOK AT ME, ONE HAND!!!". Given the captaincy here as a beacon to teammates.
Cale Morton: Technically only played nine games for the season, but his bad games are so bad that they a worth two or three of a normal player's bad games. On this basis he qualifies, and with Fiora-esque style.
Jeff Garlett: After years of intensive coaching and mentoring, has finally managed to combine teammate Chris Yarran's ferocious attack on the football with teammate Dennis Armfield's sublime finishing skills.
Chris Dawes: Had laser eye surgery at the beginning of the season. Later discovered that the surgeon was a Carlton fan.
Nathan Djerkurra: It's the spuds Geelong rejects that makes Geelong the best. In a related note, Brent Prismall unlucky not to meet this year's games requirement - would be a lock otherwise.
Addam Maric: Life got off to a bad start when parents misspelt "Adam" on birth certificate. AFL career has progressed along similar lines.
Brad Green: The fact that he is sixth in Melbourne's all-time games played and seventh on Melbourne's all-time goal-kicking list is nothing short of an indictment on the Melbourne Football Club.
Campbell Brown: Recent six-match suspension proves that big bad Campbell is as tough as he ever was. Just ask big bad Campbell.
Brent Renouf: Went from gaping ruck hole in top four side to gaping ruck hole in bottom four side. Living embodiment of the fact that lack of form is temporary, lack of class is forever.
Aaron Joseph and Tom Logan: Proof that players with two first names have zero footballing ability.
Josh Hill: Has owned the role of flaky, uncontested downhill skier-type in otherwise talented football team beginning with the letters 'WEST' for the better part of the last five years. It's a niche role, but every team should have one.
Justin Kositsche: Strongest argument for the abolition of the AFL Rising Star award.
Liam Jones: Gets a guernsey because the forward line wasn't looking quite top heavy enough. Morale-sapping goal-kicking efforts a bonus.
Jarrad Grant: Like for like sub with Liam Jones. Can provide an equally incompetent tall target up front, and an equally inept kick for goal should he somehow end up with the ball.

 

[Starburns_]

B: Jackson Trengove, Dawson, Maxwell (C)
HB: Watts, Roberts-Thomson, Heppell
C: Brennan, Rischitelli, Sherman
HF: A.Maric, Westhoff, Leroy Jetta
F: Folau, Dawes, Alwyn Davey
R: Koschitzke, Jackson, A.Joseph
Int: Sellar, Bradley, Pfeiffer
Sub: Dunn (because he's just too s**t to even start on the ground in this team)

Coach: Brett Ratten

All have played 10 games or more, explanations to come later.

 

[Go the Guts]

Gotta be a spot for Richard Tambling in this side......

 

[Crankyhawk]

Jeff Garlett, Bret Thornton, Kyle Cheney, Chris Dawes, Daniel Jackson = leadership group

Bit harsh on Cheyney there methinks... Will think more on who should be in and post again

 

[Righteo]

Suban has played 12 games this year.

Whoops so he has, stupid Freo site.

Still, think it's a weird selection. Still, I can't begrudge you for your many Port selections alone

 

[DrEvil]

Wood+Dawes vs. Lobbe+Renouf.

 

[Crankyhawk]

McGinnity yes, but Jacob Brennan had a very solid year for a rookie player.

Maybe an argument can be made on Dawson based on early form but for most of the year he has been very solid defensively.

McPhee has been one of Fremantles most crucial defenders, why are people listing him. Likewise Shoenmakers who has occasionally lowered his colours but improved greatly.


EDIT: sorry missed "Supercoach average".

Such a stat is redundant when you look at the composition of that team. Many are young running midfield/flanker types who have played as the sub or get subbed.

And to have daniel talia in there...

 

[Macca19]

Wood+Dawes vs. Lobbe+Renouf.

Renouf was good enough in the games he played. Doesnt deserve to be near this sort of thread.

 

[Jobe Watson]

Heppell

Wow.

 

[vast]

Chris newman VC - hiding at half back and provides no on field leadership.

Maxwell C - getting shitter by the day

 

[Disco7]

this is off the about 80 half games I've seen this year so every chance some of these were actulaly quite good. They just stuck out to me as bad when I've seen them:

B M.Clarke A.Carlile S.Gilbert
HB S.Buckley C.Hooker A.Mackie
C J.Sherman A.Young Alwyn Davey
HF S.Blease C.Dawes N.Djerrkura
F D.Stewart L.Jones J.Garlett
Foll B.Renouf J.Brennan J.Steven
IC N.Lovett-Murray A.Moore S.Hampson A.Everitt

Clarke - Hasn't looked like a footballer at any point since his return
Carlile - To be honest he's not that bad, just coulnd't think of a worse full back. Had Markovic here but only on 9 games.
Gilbert - 10 years ago I played on him in an u/18 club game and got BOG. 10 years on I'm a nobody behind a keyboard whilst he's signed another 3 year deal despite showing no inclination to actually put a ball within four feet of where he's trying to kick it at any point in his career. His continued career at this level continues to baffle me

Buckley - See ball. Get ball. Kick ball 60m via floater. s**t.
Hooker - Whenever I see Essendon play, it tends to be that if Pears is on someone they are quiet and if it's Hooker they are kicking goals
Mackie - He started out as a soft scared nothing footballer, then became good during Geelong's glory years, but every time I saw him this year he was back to his soft scared former self.

Sherman - Lions got a steal getting anything for him.
Young - I had to research someone as I had Cale Morton here but he only played 9 games so had to find someone else. I'm not actually sure who Aaron Young is, but apparently he played 12 games. Good enough
ALwyn Davey - holy s**t is this guy a front running spud. Looked good under the roof when they were on fire. Disappeared at all other times

Blease - probably a bit stiff but I've watched him pretty closely since he dominated against St Kilda and don't think I saw him get the footy. A replacmeent for Liam Patrick who is s**t but only played 8.
Dawes - like I need to add anything
Djerrkura - one of the Bulldogs very very s**t footballers that continually get games. Have not seen him do anything good at any time

D.Stewart - I saw him in a NAB Cup game years ago do very well. I've not seen him do very well at any point since.
Jones - Has looked dangerous to the opposition for approximately 15 minutes that I've seen him. The rest of the time, looks dangerous to the Dogs keeping the ball inside 50. Not even competitive.
Garlett - at no point in any game I can remember watching did he look dangerous. Kid can play as shown in 2011 but was a non factor this year

Renouf - bit stiff, don't think any "bad" ruckmen played 10 games this year - had Hille here oriignally but he has 9 games. Was just not that good
Brennan - a cancer that the Suns need to eradicate. LOOK AT ME I CAN HOLD THE BALL IN ONE HAND. Well, at least, I could when I used to be able to get it
Steven - Every time I've seen him he's been fumbly and not in any way very good.

Bench - the only other 4 that played 10 games that I thought weren't much good

You've got to kidding don't you Jack Steven? For a young bloke in his 2nd full season he goes alright.
His stats actually aren't that bad 20disp pg,8 Contested, 4 clearances, 4 tackles & 17 goals from the midfield all at 69% efficiency. The only thing he has to work on is lifting his effective disposal percentage a little but considering ablett 69%, cotchin 66% & judd 70% i'd say he's not doing that bad.

 

[Crankyhawk]

You mean Broc McCauley? Didn't look much different to Renouf when he played for us early this year (kept to the role of a back up of a back up ruckman)

 

[Starburns_]

Wow.

Knew that one would be questioned, hence why the name is linked. I put him in there for repeatedly being soft.

 

[Toffee Lion]

Seeing a lot of Brennan, Riska, Sherman, MacDonald.

Vossy Master stroke?