Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread
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mynameissilver
All Australian
How much did the pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer.
A buccaneer.
philreich
TheBrownDog
- Mar 2, 2014
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A first grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. She asks, "Harry - what's your problem?"
Harry says, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade, and I'm smarter than she is. I should be in the third grade too."
Ms. Brooks has had enough, and she takes Harry to the principal's office. Harry waits outside, while the teacher explains the situation to the principal. The principal tells the teacher that he wants to give Harry a test - if he gets any of the questions wrong, he would send him back to the first grade, and he would be required to behave. She agrees.
Harry comes in, and agrees with the conditions. The test begins:
Principal: What is 3 x 3?
Harry: 9.
Principal: What is 6 x 6?
Harry: 36.
And so it continues with every question the principal thinks a 3rd grade student should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks, and says, "I think Harry can go into the third grade."
Unwilling to concede defeat, Ms. Brooks says, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agree.
Ms. Brooks: What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?
Harry: Legs.
Ms. Brooks: What do you have in your pants that I do not have?
Harry: Pockets.
Ms. Brooks: What goes in hard and pink, and comes out soft and sticky?
Harry: Bubble gum.
Ms. Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down, and a dog does on 3 legs?
Harry: Shake hands.
Ms. Brooks: What word starts with F, ends with K, and means a lot of heat and excitement?
Harry: Firetruck.
The principal has been shaking his head for the last couple of minutes - he says, "Put Harry in the 5th grade: I got the last 5 questions wrong."
Harry says, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade, and I'm smarter than she is. I should be in the third grade too."
Ms. Brooks has had enough, and she takes Harry to the principal's office. Harry waits outside, while the teacher explains the situation to the principal. The principal tells the teacher that he wants to give Harry a test - if he gets any of the questions wrong, he would send him back to the first grade, and he would be required to behave. She agrees.
Harry comes in, and agrees with the conditions. The test begins:
Principal: What is 3 x 3?
Harry: 9.
Principal: What is 6 x 6?
Harry: 36.
And so it continues with every question the principal thinks a 3rd grade student should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks, and says, "I think Harry can go into the third grade."
Unwilling to concede defeat, Ms. Brooks says, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agree.
Ms. Brooks: What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?
Harry: Legs.
Ms. Brooks: What do you have in your pants that I do not have?
Harry: Pockets.
Ms. Brooks: What goes in hard and pink, and comes out soft and sticky?
Harry: Bubble gum.
Ms. Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down, and a dog does on 3 legs?
Harry: Shake hands.
Ms. Brooks: What word starts with F, ends with K, and means a lot of heat and excitement?
Harry: Firetruck.
The principal has been shaking his head for the last couple of minutes - he says, "Put Harry in the 5th grade: I got the last 5 questions wrong."
bomberclifford
Importer/Exporter
What do you call a rabbit with a bent penis?
Fuks Funny.
Fuks Funny.
- Sep 21, 2004
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why does a woman shake hands sitting down?
- Oct 30, 2012
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Why was the maths teacher’s classroom so hot? Because it is 90 degrees in every corner of the room.
My cat just asked me if i want the radio left on while he goes out.
F**king prick.
F**king prick.
"Darling... fancy putting on a nurses uniform?"
"Ooh, cheeky boy... you feeling horny?"
"Nah... we've run out of bread."
"Ooh, cheeky boy... you feeling horny?"
"Nah... we've run out of bread."
- Sep 21, 2004
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huh
El Zorro
狐狸
Veteran
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Don't get it.
Eddie Dingle
Moving chairs
raman
Kind of a Jagger-Tarzan
I mean is this literally just that nurses are essential workers and have more freedom to go out, or...
This is the Cow Tools of posts in this thread.
Perhaps it was written by an AI bot...
I met my wife at a holocaust-themed pool party. She was legally required to make a beeping noise when moving backwards, so I knew it was meant to be.
I met my wife at a holocaust-themed pool party. She was legally required to make a beeping noise when moving backwards, so I knew it was meant to be.
philreich
TheBrownDog
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News just in that, of the 2 rabbits that escaped from the Adelaide Zoo yesterday, only 14 have so far been recovered.
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Me neither.
So he doesn't want her doing the sexy nurse thing on him (right now), but he wants her to go out and earn money (bread) by doing it on others? My initial thought was the whole pandemic exemption angle (like raman said). This is causing too much conjecture for a dad joke!
Ford Fairlane
Moderator
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Yes, it's a pandemic joke for people who are in genuine lockdown.
A nurse can leave the house.
The joke has been doing the rounds lately.
Ford Fairlane
Moderator
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Other Covid inspired jokes..
Prince Charles tests positive for COVID-19. Prince Andrew suspected of having had JENNIFER-16
Single woman with hand sanitizer would like to meet a single man with toilet rolls for good clean fun.
My bank has just emailed me, telling me to stay away from branches due to Covid-19. I don’t see how not touching a tree will help .
Prince Charles tests positive for COVID-19. Prince Andrew suspected of having had JENNIFER-16
Single woman with hand sanitizer would like to meet a single man with toilet rolls for good clean fun.
My bank has just emailed me, telling me to stay away from branches due to Covid-19. I don’t see how not touching a tree will help .
philreich
TheBrownDog
- Mar 2, 2014
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Since the start of the pandemic, I now have so much sanitiser in my system that, whenever I pee into the toilet, it actually cleans the toilet bowl.
Zen Koan of the Year - 2020 Edition
- Sep 21, 2004
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yeah that nurse joke isnt even funny if it needs to be explained to 50 people.
- Mar 10, 2014
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!!!!!
