Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

[Grave Danger]

Economics joke...

 

[SC_Power]

Economics joke...

View attachment 2517287

That is no joke. It’s the exact cause of how the 2008 GFC manifested in Ireland.
“I’ll buy your house for $2m, you buy my house for $2m, we now can borrow against our houses which are worth twice what they were last year”

 

[Sleezy]

That is no joke. It’s the exact cause of how the 2008 GFC manifested in Ireland.
“I’ll buy your house for $2m, you buy my house for $2m, we now can borrow against our houses which are worth twice what they were last year”

And the telecomms part of the dotcom bubble. With worrying signs of the trends in the current AI bubble (NVIDIA loaning billions to OpenAI so they can buy billions of NVIDIA chips, on which they will proceed to lose billions in negative revenue...)

 

[wannabejack]

The dad jokes are getting really bad!

 

[pastmyprimus]

What do you call a Woolworths store burnt to the ground? Coles

 

[Grave Danger]

The dad jokes are getting really bad!

 

[wannabejack]

View attachment 2518030

 

[Ford Fairlane]

 

[Duck Farmer]

Why did the guy with COVID get arrested at the petting zoo?

He was feeling a little hoarse.

 

[pastmyprimus]

What do you call some-one without a shin. Tony

 

[Doctor Feel]

My bowling team has unionized.

They're all striking.

 

[jb04]

My wife is apprehensive after viewing an open home across the road from a cemetery.

I don't understand, the neighbours are quiet and they're literally dying to move in.

 

[Alberton Proud]

What do you call some-one without a shin. Tony

Took me a while to 'get it' !

 

[68vette]

A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods. After the bear is done he turns to the rabbit and says "do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit looks confused and says "no, I've never had a problem with that"​

The bear smiles and says "good" and picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt with him.

 

[Alberton Proud]

Who can drink 20L of petrol ?

Jerry Can !

 

[Ford Fairlane]

 

[jb04]

I took one of those online autism tests.

Turns out I am a Hufflepuff.

 

[Relativity]

View attachment 2521937

He would have been safe in Victoria.

 

[Ford Fairlane]

The Martians have landed on Earth, and in meeting the world leaders, they have an audience with the Pope...

The Pope looks at them and asks, "Do you know Jesus?"

The Martian replies, "Oh, Jesus? Great guy! He comes and visits our planet twice every year!"

The Pope is astonished! It's been close to 2000 years since he was here, and we're still waiting on his second coming."

The Martian thinks for a moment and says, "Maybe he doesn't like your chocolate."

The Pope looks at him and says, "Chocolate?"

"Sure! Every year, we gather up all the chocolate from the best manufacturers and give it to him as a gift because he's such a great guy! What did you do to him when he came here?"

 

[SC_Power]

The third Manenti brother?

 

[jb04]

My sister just got glasses for my two year old nephew.

Such a waste, she couldn't wait for his baby eyes to fall out?

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Duck Farmer]

The Martian thinks for a moment and says, "Maybe he doesn't like your chocolate."

Reminds me of the line from Open All Hours where someone's criticising Ronnie Barker for selling Jamaican Ginger Cake that's been nowhere near Jamaica and he says "Well, we sell Mars bars don't we?".

 

[VineValerian]

The third Manenti c/

The third Manenti brother?


View attachment 2529875

Reminds me of the Zarsoff Brithers band of the mid-80’s.

Bernie, Rudy, Bluey and Terry.

Not that good of a group ,but funny.

 

[Grave Danger]

I was going to post this, but the maths is wrong, so I won't.


Lord Nelson was 5ft 6in.

His statue is 17ft 4in.

That’s Horatio of 3:1.