Resource Depression/Anxiety the silent killers - everyday is RUOK day. #SpeakUpStayChatTy

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The acurate one

Premiership Player
Jan 23, 2019
3,477
15,454
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Part 2. The connection.

Lisa looked up and waved at me, I turned around as I thought that wave was for someone else my heart stopped I actually believe it did, but old faithful kicked into gear and I was good. Still to this day I don't know why when they wanted to check my heart they made me swallow a camera and didn't just look on my sleeve.🤷‍♂️

She patted the seat next to her and told me to sit down. Looked me over leapt up and bought back a handful of napkins, suggesting a Middle Eastern man carrying a bag while sweating a lot isn't a good look😲😲 🤦‍♂️. She knows I suffer anxiety and just said " eventful trip" with an accompanying belly laugh.🤦‍♂️ Then proceeded to wipe away about 3 litres of sweat. With everyone looking on and I'm yep , "oh I know right".

Then I explained all that had happened (Oh yeah she added ya car will probably be towed🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️) and then she produced this-
1609753302266.png
Told me to stand up, she knelt down and proceeded to fix my pants what a woman !!. She then bought me a beer, the first of plenty over the next many hours. Oh I bought the rest fyi, just sayin'. She did pay for our room 😲. But that will be of no interest to you all.


Edit: TBC part 3. The Rockstar ( 3sums and cocaine) Oh you'll be so disappointed fyi
 
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The acurate one

Premiership Player
Jan 23, 2019
3,477
15,454
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Part 3. The Rockstar ( 3sums and cocaine)

After the second beer I had calmed my farm somewhat and felt much more relaxed but still fought to bury the mental imagines of my car being towed.

Oh my she's freakin awesome . I said to her that you should receive a thank you note from the local chiropractor as many a neck has been strained as the good folk of St Kilda wandered by. They'd look at her then I'd get a glance and I'd wink. Lisa did ask at one stage ask if my winking was due to my stroke.😱
Peeps I felt on top of the world, damn this woman with her ability to insult without causing harm. That's a gift right there.

The conversation turned to dinner or do we keep drinking and pour ourselves out of this place later in the night. We decided on dinner at an establishment further on . I made sure we held hands as the masses parted as we floated by. Yep it was biblical. You know If I was offered a date with Ms Lisa or one game with North , sheesh I'd have to really ponder that. Although after I kicked seven I'm probably getting a second game 🤷‍♂️. Oh I played a lot of footy and never ever *handballed or played in the backline- ever !! Crikey that is no mans land. Or I should add I didn't do any good between June-Aug. Yes I realise that's the majority of the season. I hate winter sports !! I hate winter fyi.

* Always thought get the ball yourself- yep you may say I'm not a team player. I'd probably not argue.


We owned She owned the restaurant, gosh those young waiters kept asking if she needed anything. I loved it and had I been in their shoes I would have done exactly the same thing. And did she play it up, imagine being free of the LOW and his controlling ways. Not allowed to go for coffee with your friends. Having to lie and say you're off to the supermarket when really you just wanted to catch with ya buddies. That's just not cool! And the damage that causes that may last a life time, is heart breaking.

Back on point...

From there it was a pub/ wine bar escapade, oh she can drink a Publicans daughter. I mean really? She looks like she does with a wonderful disposition and is the daughter of a Publican. That is the unicorn if I say so myself. Well of course she is no longer that as she is 49 and her father is retired . Only Amanda Holden comes to mind when thinking of stunning women in their late 40's early 50's that I have met/ know of .

We settled into the darkness. Any inhibitions we might have had due to covid keeping us apart disappeared. We headed for the Espy...🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Well we drew attention in the line , I was only wearing a singlet and my safety pinned chinos and was refuse entry. Well until the raven haired beauty intervened. " Sir continue and enjoy your night". Not sure what was said. Don't want to know.

We drank and danced like a couple of 20 year olds, fully aware that our hamstrings won't like us in the morning. I decided I needed some air. I made the mistake of saying hi to a couple of young ladies, one of which asked me if I had any coke . And preceded to say that she thought an attractive older gentleman would enjoy sharing his coke and ******* the night away. I was shocked to be called a gentleman, she was no older than my daughter and of course the fatherly sh*t kicked in. Dearie me , this was going pear-shaped quickly.


Ms Lisa sensing I'd been gone a while floated down the stairs just in time to catch the end of the verbal barrage directed at me. She asked what's wrong and I said shut up- have you any cocaine.

But it was the look on the young ladies face that I'll never forget when Ms Lisa put her arm around me. From there we had a couple of more stop overs before we retired for the night. We didn't emerge from the room until after 12 pm Sunday. ( my car 😱😱)


Ms Lisa has now kicked my arse to the curb for a record fifth time. It isn't me I know that. It's the LOW who tried to destroy her. Oh he texted her or tried to ring her 20-30 times during our weekend together. Once my ex wife left the house I deleted her from my phone.

She now lacks the ability to make herself vulnerable and I think confuses that with controlling behavior. I'm devastated, but have decided not to give up.
I'm meant to have dates over the next week with Georgie 44, * 46 who shares the same surname with a great looking rooster who debut for us late in the year. I'd be surprised if they're not related in some fashion. And Laura the Italian bombshell and they can all get stuffed cause my heart will not be in it.

I'm now finding myself listening to Taylor Swift songs while eating ice cream. Oh I know- yep I'm in love

Treat your loved ones with kindness build them up , don't bring them down. Don't put your fears and short comings onto others. Own that sh*t and talk about it.👍


Oh and my car- yes it was there and cost me $18.00 for over 24 hours.lol. fu** anxiety and those like me that suffer it. we can beat it and it's never ever as bad as it seems. The world is our oyster.


Peace out

Then I received this from a young Chinese lady who whatsapp'd me by mistake.lol She is in Perth working. was looking for Kevin. Unfortunately found Matt, we've been chattin since Monday.

And yeah read this sh*t boys...

1610012678633.png



It's quite amazing what people share with me. Be on point fella's
 

The acurate one

Premiership Player
Jan 23, 2019
3,477
15,454
AFL Club
North Melbourne
I’m glad you did, the previous bit left me on the edge of my seat.

It sounds like you had a great night out. I hope it all works out, she sounds like a remarkable woman.
Man she is so remarkable and really doubts herself. As busted as I am I'm so happy I know her. And thank you. Oh I left her with this song after I got the text that I knew was coming...

we share a lot of music and It;s a wonderful way to express yourself. A beautiful song


 

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The acurate one

Premiership Player
Jan 23, 2019
3,477
15,454
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North Melbourne
You’re quite the old romantic 😉 the world needs more people like you.
Cheers man, it took the reaper to punch me in the back of the head for me to realise what is important and what isn't. And just to be the man I wanted to be without fear. I no longer care what people think. i do mean those that choose to waste their energy on being negative.
 

Luke72

Premium Platinum
Aug 21, 2012
4,456
9,503
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Yeah well 4 Police officers and 2 Paramedics.

They were unbelievably great.

If anyone gets to that point ring for support OK.
Hey dude I hope you’re ok. I thought it was going to be a TAO style night on the town story. You are correct about calling someone. Everyone feels shitty sometimes, no harm in asking for help. Stay strong, the world needs as many Shinboners as we can get.
 

ChoppyGun

Premiership Player
Suspended
Jul 19, 2020
4,402
8,255
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Hey dude I hope you’re ok. I thought it was going to be a TAO style night on the town story. You are correct about calling someone. Everyone feels shitty sometimes, no harm in asking for help. Stay strong, the world needs as many Shinboners as we can get.
Yeah I rang lifeline as cut wrists so police and ambo here......couldnt cope.

Hard to explain as paramedic was a fit unit and he got me back on track.

Then I waited an hour in "emergency" so I just got a cab home (scary as.....this bloke was a nightmare. He had no idea how to drive..........)
 

ChoppyGun

Premiership Player
Suspended
Jul 19, 2020
4,402
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AFL Club
North Melbourne
Farkin hell dude. I’m glad they were there for you. Emergency rooms can be a b*tch but maybe they are keeping you there to keep an eye on you.
Yeah I'm still off work as "suicidal".

The front line just amazing. Stripped me down etc but I wouldn't hurt anyone.

Yeah they must have as I bailed and Police on my place a few hours later
 

ChoppyGun

Premiership Player
Suspended
Jul 19, 2020
4,402
8,255
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Farkin hell dude. I’m glad they were there for you. Emergency rooms can be a b*tch but maybe they are keeping you there to keep an eye on you.
Nah I wasn't in Emergency like last time just the waiting room. (they've had enough I think)

A person came in with a broken arm and straight in so I bailed.
 

Hojuman

첫 번째 남자 대 남자
May 20, 2012
12,845
35,269
Seoul
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Yeah I'm still off work as "suicidal".

The front line just amazing. Stripped me down etc but I wouldn't hurt anyone.

Yeah they must have as I bailed and Police on my place a few hours later

We are here Chop, plenty of good people to bounce off and alot of us have been there.
You never know who is there to help until you are at the bottom staring up. Tassie being Tassie hope you have a decent support network provided by the appropriate people.
 

The acurate one

Premiership Player
Jan 23, 2019
3,477
15,454
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Life's been pretty tough recently.
Trying to figure out my life and where to go form here.
Just entered my early 30's and don't really have any qualifications, experience in some things but nothing secure.
Future's looking a little bleak and directionless; feeling pretty depressed out it all really.
So overwhelmed that I almost feel suffocated.
Well hello young fella, I get it , I really do. The greatest handbrake to us is us. I couldn't give a sh*t about your lack of qualifications. Neither should you. Work out what you'd like to do, at your own pace of course.

Then let me know-yeah? PM if that's easier. There's many a decent person around, you may be surprised. Keep chattin though.
 

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