Roast Grumpy Old Thread- 10k posts of whinging

[Kimbo]

Poor bastard.

I hate golf. One more reason not to play!

Stupid bastard more like.

 

[Massive Unit]

Funny story. I got roped into a corporate golf day a couple of months ago along with my boss and a colleague. I hadn't swung a club in anger in 20 years and the boss in 15 years. Thank Christ it was Ambrose.

We head to our nominated tee and who is in the group behind us but none other than Tubby Taylor and Ian Healy.

Boss strides up to the tee and says he'll have first crack. He swings, buries the head of the club into the ground and snaps it clean off the shaft.

I turn to the boys behind us and suggest that they should play through as it could be a long afternoon. Tubby looks straight at me and says "f*** that! We've got an esky full of cans and are up for a laugh". Bastards followed us the whole afternoon!!

FWIW, Healy was fairly handy on the sherbets at the nineteenth hole and had some fairly strong opinions on our most recently removed captain.....

 

[Kimbo]

FWIW, Healy was fairly handy on the sherbets at the nineteenth hole and had some fairly strong opinions on our most recently removed captain.....

 

[Massive Unit]

Kimbo, you are the doyen of the GIF!

Heals was none too complimentary about Clarkey buggering off to spend time with Ms "where the bloody hell are ya?" instead of having a few beers with his teammates after the match. The expressions that came to mind were c*** struck and weak as piss!

 

[Kimbo]

Kimbo, you are the doyen of the GIF!

Heals was none too complimentary about Clarkey buggering off to spend time with Ms "where the bloody hell are ya?" instead of having a few beers with his teammates after the match. The expressions that came to mind were c*** struck and weak as piss!

 

[Arden]

FWIW, Healy was fairly handy on the sherbets at the nineteenth hole and had some fairly strong opinions on our most recently removed captain.....

Surely I wasn't the only one to wonder what the **** Ian Healy would know about Swallow

 

[Gasometer]

Ian Healey sounds like a bit of a shit bloke blabbering around the Golf Course to all in sunbury about shit that happened years ago.

 

[Samsquanch]

Have I ever complained about the Melbourne trains here? Well... **** metro. Absolute campaigners. Especially Spencer st.

 

[Gasometer]

Have I ever complained about the Melbourne trains here? Well... **** metro. Absolute campaigners. Especially Spencer st.

I will flick through the past 139 pages.

BRB

 

[The Butcher]

Having my 3000km summer road trip delayed by two days because the dimwits we pay at the ATO have decided to go and do a census on me. Grumpy

 

[Le Grille]

Having my 3000km summer road trip delayed by two days because the dimwits we pay at the ATO have decided to go and do a census on me. Grumpy

Might be a whole lot longer. Their database has been down for two days.

 

[Heaps of fun]

Surely I wasn't the only one to wonder what the **** Ian Healy would know about Swallow

Me too. We might need some lateral thinking exercises

 

[The Butcher]

Might be a whole lot longer. Their database has been down for two days.

Yeah, its not great. I figured do it last, avoid cashing in and spending up big on gear I don't need. At this rate I'll start getting the "oh it's soo close you really out to stay for christmas, everyone would love it". Exactly what i'd meant to avoid.

 

[rippersnipper]

Hahahaha some woman called our home phone today and my dad suggested it would be my mother who is away on a work trip and so I went and grabbed it for him. I answered and some woman says "hi this is leanne, help me" and I'm standing there thinking one of our neighbours is in trouble. Next I asked her what was up and she goes "I'm worried about my father" and so I'm preparing myself for a quick exit out the door thinking some poor bloke has had a fall or something worse (we've been called up before for similar reasons). Then she goes "the turnbull government...." and i hang up the phone. Ffs woman, don't act like someone is in grave danger and then try and impose your bullshit political opinions and views on me.

 

[ferball]

Hahahaha some woman called our home phone today and my dad suggested it would be my mother who is away on a work trip and so I went and grabbed it for him. I answered and some woman says "hi this is leanne, help me" and I'm standing there thinking one of our neighbours is in trouble. Next I asked her what was up and she goes "I'm worried about my father" and so I'm preparing myself for a quick exit out the door thinking some poor bloke has had a fall or something worse (we've been called up before for similar reasons). Then she goes "the turnbull government...." and i hang up the phone. Ffs woman, don't act like someone is in grave danger and then try and impose your bullshit political opinions and views on me.

How old are you?

 

[The Other Dean]

There are some scarily strange degenerates eking their way through this life.

Seriously, who sits in their car in a supermarket car park on a 35+ degree day listening to the *****n "Chicken Dance" over and over on their stereo!!!

Someone who doesn't mind walking home after they've maxed out all the charge on their car.

Unless of course....they were battery hens.

I'll see myself out.

 

[ferball]

Young kid: Some campaigner rings me on the phone for telemarketing purposes. FOC

Grumpy Old: So I got woken from my arvo nap by some infernal alarm clock I don't remember setting. then when I found it it was a stupid looking sealed plastic box with buttons and ... no clock face!!! They just don't know how to make things any more.

Then this stupid Scottish voice started screaming at me "Answer the foon!! PIck up the bloody foon. ****!! Come on ya stoopid campaigner pick up the bloody foon." Over and over again. When I found the source of the disturbance I must say i was impressed. I didn't know they could make televisions that were that small and with a picture that clear. But then the Scottish show started up again but the picture was n't working properly just some red and green test pattern. By this stage I'd had enough so i hit the bloody thing with a hammer and went back to bed.

I still don't know what a foon is or why anyone would want to handle, lift or have a conversation with one.

 

[Samsquanch]

Young kid: Some campaigner rings me on the phone for telemarketing purposes. FOC

Grumpy Old: So I got woken from my arvo nap by some infernal alarm clock I don't remember setting. then when I found it it was a stupid looking sealed plastic box with buttons and ... no clock face!!! They just don't know how to make things any more.

Then this stupid Scottish voice started screaming at me "Answer the foon!! PIck up the bloody foon. ****!! Come on ya stoopid campaigner pick up the bloody foon." Over and over again. When I found the source of the disturbance I must say i was impressed. I didn't know they could make televisions that were that small and with a picture that clear. But then the Scottish show started up again but the picture was n't working properly just some red and green test pattern. By this stage I'd had enough so i hit the bloody thing with a hammer and went back to bed.

I still don't know what a foon is or why anyone would want to handle, lift or have a conversation with one.

It's electrickery! That's how they get the voices into the tellingbone.

 

[Gasometer]

Have I ever complained about the Melbourne trains here? Well... **** metro. Absolute campaigners. Especially Spencer st.

Ok...back.

No you didn't.

 

[Gasometer]

How old are you?

Old enough to having woman problems

 

[Samsquanch]

Ok...back.

No you didn't.

Thanks for checking.

Starting now... Dear metro, GAGF.

 

[Roozee]

It's electrickery! That's how they get the voices into the tellingbone.

View attachment 319244

Catweazle lol

Nice one!

 

[rippersnipper]

How old are you?

19 mate

 

[Samsquanch]

Hmmmm. Had to run the gauntlet of rmit grads (or whatever uni they come from) to get to southern cross station. Well, they might be proud graduates, but why do they walk 5 abreast and all simultaneously veer in random directions to block the path when they can see real people just trying to get home. D.A.D.S. if you ask me.

 

[shniko11]

Complainig about Melbourne transport!

Could be worse we could live in the second most livable city in the World...