Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 of 2017 - the "finals were better last year" Edition

[RedmanWasHere]

Caption should have been - A cooked Todd Goldstein in the same pose that his ancestor's put Jesus in; symbolism at its finest.

Or, "perhaps, having the suffix -stein was a sign of things to come."

 

[carnthedons]

Surely not, it has to be Tyrone's year. He left and we won a flag and Hawf finished 13th, plus the whole death threat thing. Only Tippett could beat him.

Incredibly brave former brownlow medalist and captain turned barista and vegan a sneaky chance?

 

[Starburns_]

That's quite the trifecta. The only knock on Mayne is that he's so ******* boring compared to the other two.

Tippet and Stringer are massive flogs but Mayne's just an ordinary bloke who got massively overpaid due to a clerical error. (Or more accurately because the Pies list manager wears his shoes on his hands.)

Mayne would probably be a worthy #1 in any year that didn't have those 3 around though. He's legitimately awful.

Incredibly brave former brownlow medalist and captain turned barista and vegan a sneaky chance?

He was terrible, but the bar has been set so low this year that he probably won't get near it. That said, if he's a vegan that has to push him up the rankings.

 

[carnthedons]

He was terrible, but the bar has been set so low this year that he probably won't get near it. That said, if he's a vegan that has to push him up the rankings.

Confirmed vegan and his kicking was actually worse this year than it had been previously (hard to believe I know) but you’re probably right. Monty for top 20 though

 

[Spongebob]

Incredibly brave former brownlow medalist and captain turned barista and vegan a sneaky chance?

Don't say such a thing.

His father would have to be restrained by a well known media personality who forbids parents from commenting on any negative imputation on their progeny.



(I got new glasses so I can seem not stupid)

 

[sonnywalters]

Two genuine questions.

1. What was the name of the Collingwood list manager in 2016.
2. Is he still employed?

Deserves to be named and shamed in this thread.

 

[Art Corvelay]

Two genuine questions.

1. What was the name of the Collingwood list manager in 2016.
2. Is he still employed?

Deserves to be named and shamed in this thread.

1. Derek Hine, although Gubby Allen did the Mayne deal according to reports
2. Demoted to Head Recruiter

 

[sonnywalters]

1. Derek Hine, although Gubby Allen did the Mayne deal according to reports
2. Demoted to Head Recruiter

Pretty funny. Because I have been saying for years that 'Gubby' Allen was a total half wit.
Typical AFL jobs for the boys hack.
He is like the dodgy priest that HQ keeps moving from parish to parish to cover up his crimes.

The fact both these guys still have good jobs shows how low the standard of administrators truly are in the AFL.

 

[A Cut Above]

1. Derek Hine, although Gubby Allen did the Mayne deal according to reports

 

[Laphroaig]

1. Derek Hine, although Gubby Allen did the Mayne deal according to reports
2. Demoted to Head Recruiter

Can't say there's been any noticeable improvement.

 

[benji2]

1. Derek Hine, although Gubby Allen did the Mayne deal according to reports
2. Demoted to Head Recruiter

More great decision making from Gubby Allen.


Wasn't he also involved in the Lachie Whitfield saga?

On SM-T355Y using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[Two Eyes]

More great decision making from Gubby Allen.


Wasn't he also involved in the Lachie Whitfield saga?

On SM-T355Y using BigFooty.com mobile app

He certainly was. Swore up and down he wasn't when interviewing for the 'netball coaching' gig at the Pies.

Even Eddie lost faith after that and gave him the boot.

 

[Holy Rioli]

I am sure that their policy of recruiting ex-Bulldogs will set them up well in their future endeavours in finally winning a prelim.

I did genuinely LOL at the irony there. Well played.

 

[Mofra]

I did genuinely LOL at the irony there. Well played.

Irony is a dying art form in the modern age of internet shouting

 

[Mofra]

Player 29 - Dean Kent


Pictured: "He chose me to dance, Becky, me!"

Dean Kent is the prototype VFL player who often plays midfield at the lower level, then gets thrown forward at the top level because they aren't AFL standard for the midfield, but then fail as an AFL forward because they don't play there that much so they go back to VFL level and finally earn their opportunity again when thrown in the midfield.

Standing at just 179cm but 84 kgs, Kent doesn't really fit your normal small forward stereotype. Starting his AFL season in round 3 with a good game against Geelong where he had 22 touches and 5 shots on goal (2.3), he peaked early and it was all downhill from there, like a festival goer who freaks out at the sight of drug-sniffing dogs so takes all their pills while waiting in line rather than get caught. So I've heard.

Anyway Kent must be a frustrating footballer because he's almost there but not quite - he is the "bay 13 girlfriend in bed" of footballers.
Just fumbles a little too much to swoop on the ground ball under pressure, doesn't quite finish well enough to be a full time forward, doesn't quite find the ball or is damaging enough with possessions. If you look in the dictionary for a definition of 'almost' you don't find a picture for Dean Kent there but he was considered, 'almost' making it into the final edition.

Plus he looks about as generic as a footballer can these days with facial hair, tattoo sleeve and a haircut that screams "free haircut at a mate's saloon so he can say he cuts AFL players' hair":


Anyway back to his season. 2 games, then dropped, then 2 games, then dropped. He played 2 more games, but then hurt his shoulder denying Goodwin the chance to drop him again. It's not a great guide to output, but nonetheless his Supercoach scores got progressively lower as each game rolled by, like how the drunker you are the lower your standards get when you're swiping on Tinder.

Kent's first game:

Kent's second last game:

And finally, his last:

Dean, keep swiping as I understand you have a contract for next year. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2017.

 

[captain blood 17]

I am expecting a good showing from Thomas Bugg and either Kaymdyn McIntosh or Constagna from the tigers. Top 20 finish for two of them. Surely.

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[TedDougChris]

Love the first caption for Kent...

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

I am expecting a good showing from Thomas Bugg and either Kaymdyn McIntosh or Constagna from the tigers. Top 20 finish for two of them. Surely.

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Bugg already went at #48

 

[captain blood 17]

Bugg already went at #48

**** really? I gotta wake to myself then. Can i sub that thought with Brett Stanton?

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[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

**** really? I gotta wake to myself then. Can i sub that thought with Brett Stanton?

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Yeah I'm surprised he was ranked so low.
Stanton is a lock.

 

[DanWA]

Vickery, Tippett, Stringer, and Mayne for the top 5 along with one lower-profile spud that no one thought of but on reflection thoroughly deserves it.

Where does Tom Boyd finish in your eyes?

 

[leobarryustar]

Where does Tom Boyd finish in your eyes?

And your hair.

Sorry

 

[Benny78]

And your hair.

Sorry

Are you sure Leo Barry was even anything?

I mean look at Richmond. Their Leo Barry moment lasted for almost the entirety of 2017. Leo Barry only had it for like 4 seconds in one quarter of footy. Richmond an entire season. I doubt Richmond will be remembered in the same regard as almost every other premier over the past 12 years. Neither of them can be stars mate I'm sorry.

 

[Starburns_]

Where does Tom Boyd finish in your eyes?

Are you trolling mental illness? Probably to be expected though.

 

[DanWA]

Are you trolling mental illness? Probably to be expected though.

wut?