Autopsy Round 1, 2023: Positives and Negatives vs North Melbourne

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We are not soft, we are progressive.

Simpson and his soy latte, group hug, participation medal meditation mantras are simply ahead of the curve

It's not about winning or losing, it's about being gentleman and lovely citizens who can build the occasional house in Cambodia

Those archaic, misogynist values like tough footy or winning matches have no place at our enlightened club 😉

If only the club could find a way to get rid of those intrusive ~25 weeks of football every year we could achieve so much more!
 
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Take a look at the intensity at the contest/second effort from TK here within the first 40 seconds of the game. How can we possibly compete with young teams with players wanting to win when this is the level of effort applied from one of our highest paid players?
That's pure s***te from TK isn't it. The way the ball fell out, that was TKs to pick up on a silver platter. I'd drop him back to the WAFL
 
We are not soft, we are progressive.

Simpson and his soy latte, group hug, participation medal meditation mantras are simply ahead of the curve

It's not about winning or losing, it's about being gentleman and lovely citizens who can build the occasional house in Cambodia

Those archaic, misogynist values like tough footy or winning matches have no place at our enlightened club 😉
******* hell, you expect to read some misplaced rage every now and then on this website but that’s a very special entry into the club.

Eagles are too woke, that’s where the problems stem from.

The world must be a frightening and confusing place at times, mate.
 

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******* hell, you expect to read some misplaced rage every now and then on this website but that’s a very special entry into the club.

Eagles are too woke, that’s where the problems stem from.

The world must be a frightening and confusing place at times, mate.

Sarcasm is really and truly is lost on the dim 😳

Jesus christ, get a clue. Please

Next time I will add * to a post like this and write satire intended so it's not misinterpreted as an actual rant by our boards more simple of mind
 
******* hell, you expect to read some misplaced rage every now and then on this website but that’s a very special entry into the club.

Eagles are too woke, that’s where the problems stem from.

The world must be a frightening and confusing place at times, mate.
We are so progressive we don’t even need an AFLW pride guernsey.
 
Well wait to later in the year to sack him to start with

But if we exceed the soft cap and pay a penalty so be it. In the long run keeping him on is a greater cost

We can't use prior mismanagement as an excuse to justify further mismanagement
He can be sacked next year as the 2024 payment will already be budgeted, so that will only leave us to cover the 2025 year as exceeding the soft cap. It's not unreasonable to expect a rookiee coach to be on half on his pay, so maybe we're only covering $400-500K outside the softcap. Even with a 100% tax, that's no more than $1M (which the club can afford to pay and still make a profit).
 
Sarcasm is really and truly is lost on the dim 😳

Jesus christ, get a clue. Please

Next time I will add * to a post like this and write satire intended so it's not misinterpreted as an actual rant by our boards more simple of mind
Sure, if you go back and do the same for every other time you or the people who liked it have posted the same s**t.
 
Lets sack the coach because the messaging is stale for the older players who aren't responding.
But lets also retire/sack the older players who aren't performing so we can introduce youth.
But lets also drop the youth when they aren't performing.

Angry Jon Bernthal GIF by NETFLIX
 
Having now had a few days to sit with my fee fees..

+Ginbey. The boy looks the absolute bees knees. I expected him to be enthusiastic, didn’t expect his impact to be as good. He’ll be a very very good player for a long time.

+Noah Long. Little lad is clean, full of go go juice. Great stuff little legend

+Chesser getting on the park! All the rumours about him being no good fitness wise in the preseason were thankfully fake news

+Hunt. That’s it. For a dude who was so polarising when we picked him up, he was one of our better players - he definitely makes us better.

+Hurn. Evergreen. Probably our BOG. What a beast. Leading by example

The minuses

- Bailey Williams. May be one of the single worst AFL games I’ve ever seen played.
Offered nothing. Was essentially negated and arguably beaten by a midfielder in the ruck. Pathetic. I’m not writing him off, but he needs to go to the Beagles to develop.
He likely wasn’t fit given he wasn’t even expected to play, but he put his hand up. I would honestly rather next week we play Jamieson and have him just try and contain. Use the extra small.

-Gaff. Missing what looked like a pretty soft shot. Still not offering a lot either way. You’d have to say based on form he’ll be playing WAFL by seasons end

-Allen. Was rusty, not anywhere near his best. That panicked shot was especially bad.

-McGovern was also off his jumps - was he stunned from his head knock

———- minus 600 - that two quarter period where we were nowhere near it. Yuck


I don’t think it was quite as bad as we thought at the time, but we also need to accept norf are also a bottom side - some of these games could be absolutely ugly

I maintain us and Hawthorn are fighting for the spoon
 
Lets sack the coach because the messaging is stale for the older players who aren't responding.
But lets also retire/sack the older players who aren't performing so we can introduce youth.
But lets also drop the youth when they aren't performing.

Angry Jon Bernthal GIF by NETFLIX

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Got to give a shout out to JJ.
When most of the team was standing around trying to remember what was discussed in the qtr time huddle while North were ripping us a new one, he at least tried to snap the guys awake. Did some nice runs, kicked a goal that was badly needed and showed so enthusiasm.
Didn't have a great 4 qtrs but when nobody wanted to stand up at least he did.
 
I wish Sam Mitchell were here to throw some water bottles, it's really all started when that stopped and it's clear that that sort of action would fix all of our problems. Sack simmo, install Mt Franklin as coach.
 
******* hell, you expect to read some misplaced rage every now and then on this website but that’s a very special entry into the club.

Eagles are too woke, that’s where the problems stem from.

The world must be a frightening and confusing place at times, mate.

You’re missing the point, cobber, and you obviously don’t do satire. Take a step back and look at how we have been playing since the 2018 flag, the club culture and how our opponents perceive us. Be honest, please. Now compare us with any of the clubs likely to finish top 6 this year. If we can’t be honest with ourselves, and if Simmo can’t make tough decisions regarding selection, and if we can’t get rid of dead wood, then maybe Kane Cornes is not far off the mark when he worries for our future.


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