Preview Selection Night Transcript - Port v West Coast 2016

[ExpectToWin]

Ken Hinkley: OK boys, our back are against the wall again so we really need to get our selections right this week.

Nathan Bassett: There’s no wall left Ken.

Ken Hinkley: What do you mean Bass?

Nathan Bassett: Well we’ve been against it so much lately that it has finally fractured and fallen down.

Garry Hocking: We are going to need new wall then.

Nathan Bassett: Better make it the Great Wall of China.

David Koch: I can organise that.

Ken Hinkley: No disrespect but why are you in this meeting David?

Keith Thomas: I said he could come!!!!!

Ken Hinkley: I know things are not going to plan but this is not a place for the CEO and President.

David Koch: Its OK Ken, we are not here to make decisions, we just want to get a handle on the process of team selection.

Keith Thomas: David is right, just relax and do what you normally do, there is no pressure here.

David Koch: Yeah there is as much pressure as what our team puts on the opposition so you should feel totally at ease.

Ken Hinkley: OK boys, let’s get on with it then. What changes if any need to be made?

David Koch: Um… is Travis injured?

Ken Hinkley: You know I am really getting sick of this question. I have been telling everyone for weeks now that Trav is not injured.

Keith Thomas: Is he sick?

Ken Hinkley: NO!!!!!

David Koch: Is he heartbroken?

Ken Hinkley: NO! NO! NO!

Keith Thomas: Then what’s wrong with him then?

Ken Hinkley: He is just out of form.

David Koch: So why don’t you drop him?

Travis Boak: Hey guys, I’m in the room and I am not really feeling the love here.

David Koch: Well you need to lift your game Travis.

Travis Boak: You’re really hurting my feelings David.

Keith Thomas: Well what are you going to do about it Travis?

Travis Boak: Well we just gotta bring the heat.

Keith Thomas: What for, the Heat Maps? You say this every week Trav, what else are you going to do?

Travis Boak: I don’t know, ask Ken

Ken Hinkley: I thought you guys were just here to get a handle on the process.

Keith Thomas: Yeah sorry Ken, carry on.

Ken Hinkley: OK, what changes if any do we want to consider making?

Nathan Bassett: I think we need to bring Toumpas back in, he definitely adds more defensive attributes to our game.

Ken Hinkley: Who comes out for him?

Nathan Bassett: Probably Amon

Karl Amon: Ken?

Ken Hinkley: Its OK Karlos, you will be playing.

Jim Toumpas: So who will I be replacing?

Cam O’Shea: Better not be me.

Brad Ebert: Well you did have quiet game Krak.

Cam O’Shea: I said that Ebo, put your glasses on!!!!!

Brad Ebert: Bit twitchy there Cam, bit like your backwards handballs.

Cam O’Shea: Polly called for it!!!

Jared Polec: No I didn’t

Cam O’Shea: Prick!!

Justin Westhoff: Could handballed to me Cam, I was in the open.

Cam O’Shea: You didn’t call for it.

Justin Westhoff: Yes I did.

Brad Ebert: Need some glasses Cam, hearing aid maybe?

John Butcher: Can I pl…..

Ken Hinkley: No John.

Michael Voss: I think we should consider Dougal or else Nic Nat will end up with 150 Hit Outs.

Ken Hinkley: Hit outs don’t win games Vossy. If we can get 100 plus tackles we will be well on our way.

Garry Hocking: Your both wrong, it’s all about clearances, clearances win games of footy.

Nathan Bassett: Disagree, winning the contested ball is the most vital aspect.

Matthew Nicks: No, no, no, it’s all about getting the structure right.

Keith Thomas: How about we just out score the opposition?

*deathly silence and looks of confusion*

Keith Thomas: OK then, I will just leave that nugget with you. Let’s go Kochy.

*sound of door closing*

 

[Power Girl]

Fabulous but also sad. When these come out it is only because we need to laugh at ourselves or we will cry
But thanks for helping us to laugh ETW.

 

[TeeKray]

John Butcher: Can I pl…..

Ken Hinkley: No John.

 

[Eddie Dingle]

**** this is depressing.

 

[tribey]

The canary down the coalmine.

 

[tangolikelama]

****ing lost it at the John Butcher part

 

[croweyrocks]

Please make this every week! Absolutely classic....so wait who comes in? Lol

 

[Del80659]

man the Cassisi Captain era ETW transcripts were so funny, seeing this brought back memories, "i'm going to have to draw another line in the sand"

 

[BrockBlitz]

That's awesome.

3 votes

 

[Andre]

Brad Ebert: Well you did have quiet game Krak.

Cam O’Shea: I said that Ebo, put your glasses on!!!!!

Gold. And possibly true.

 

[LFC2010]

Ken Hinkley: OK boys, our back are against the wall again so we really need to get our selections right this week.

Nathan Bassett: There’s no wall left Ken.

Ken Hinkley: What do you mean Bass?

Nathan Bassett: Well we’ve been against it so much lately that it has finally fractured and fallen down.

Garry Hocking: We are going to need new wall then.

Nathan Bassett: Better make it the Great Wall of China.

David Koch: I can organise that.

Ken Hinkley: No disrespect but why are you in this meeting David?

Keith Thomas: I said he could come!!!!!

Ken Hinkley: I know things are not going to plan but this is not a place for the CEO and President.

David Koch: Its OK Ken, we are not here to make decisions, we just want to get a handle on the process of team selection.

Keith Thomas: David is right, just relax and do what you normally do, there is no pressure here.

David Koch: Yeah there is as much pressure as what our team puts on the opposition so you should feel totally at ease.

Ken Hinkley: OK boys, let’s get on with it then. What changes if any need to be made?

David Koch: Um… is Travis injured?

Ken Hinkley: You know I am really getting sick of this question. I have been telling everyone for weeks now that Trav is not injured.

Keith Thomas: Is he sick?

Ken Hinkley: NO!!!!!

David Koch: Is he heartbroken?

Ken Hinkley: NO! NO! NO!

Keith Thomas: Then what’s wrong with him then?

Ken Hinkley: He is just out of form.

David Koch: So why don’t you drop him?

Travis Boak: Hey guys, I’m in the room and I am not really feeling the love here.

David Koch: Well you need to lift your game Travis.

Travis Boak: You’re really hurting my feelings David.

Keith Thomas: Well what are you going to do about it Travis?

Travis Boak: Well we just gotta bring the heat.

Keith Thomas: What for, the Heat Maps? You say this every week Trav, what else are you going to do?

Travis Boak: I don’t know, ask Ken

Ken Hinkley: I thought you guys were just here to get a handle on the process.

Keith Thomas: Yeah sorry Ken, carry on.

Ken Hinkley: OK, what changes if any do we want to consider making?

Nathan Bassett: I think we need to bring Toumpas back in, he definitely adds more defensive attributes to our game.

Ken Hinkley: Who comes out for him?

Nathan Bassett: Probably Amon

Karl Amon: Ken?

Ken Hinkley: Its OK Karlos, you will be playing.

Jim Toumpas: So who will I be replacing?

Cam O’Shea: Better not be me.

Brad Ebert: Well you did have quiet game Krak.

Cam O’Shea: I said that Ebo, put your glasses on!!!!!

Brad Ebert: Bit twitchy there Cam, bit like your backwards handballs.

Cam O’Shea: Polly called for it!!!

Jared Polec: No I didn’t

Cam O’Shea: Prick!!

Justin Westhoff: Could handballed to me Cam, I was in the open.

Cam O’Shea: You didn’t call for it.

Justin Westhoff: Yes I did.

Brad Ebert: Need some glasses Cam, hearing aid maybe?

John Butcher: Can I pl…..

Ken Hinkley: No John.

Michael Voss: I think we should consider Dougal or else Nic Nat will end up with 150 Hit Outs.

Ken Hinkley: Hit outs don’t win games Vossy. If we can get 100 plus tackles we will be well on our way.

Garry Hocking: Your both wrong, it’s all about clearances, clearances win games of footy.

Nathan Bassett: Disagree, winning the contested ball is the most vital aspect.

Matthew Nicks: No, no, no, it’s all about getting the structure right.

Keith Thomas: How about we just out score the opposition?

*deathly silence and looks of confusion*

Keith Thomas: OK then, I will just leave that nugget with you. Let’s go Kochy.

*sound of door closing*

we really need a thread for all of these to go into. They're always a good laugh.

 

[The Playbook]

Cant believe we are back here again! But this is some quality work!!!

 

[R_Gray_Jnr_Jnr]

I vote that this, or a similar type conversation is posted at least once a week on a dedicated thred.

This has to be the best thing I've read on BigFooty ever.

Not only does it encapculate what is going on with port at the moment but it also brings up points discussed ion BigFooty i.e. heat maps and Ebo's blindness.

Gold. Just Gold mate. well done!

 

[OneGreatClub]

Ken Hinkley: OK boys, our back are against the wall again so we really need to get our selections right this week.

Nathan Bassett: There’s no wall left Ken.

Ken Hinkley: What do you mean Bass?

Nathan Bassett: Well we’ve been against it so much lately that it has finally fractured and fallen down.

Garry Hocking: We are going to need new wall then.

Nathan Bassett: Better make it the Great Wall of China.

David Koch: I can organise that.

Ken Hinkley: No disrespect but why are you in this meeting David?

Keith Thomas: I said he could come!!!!!

Ken Hinkley: I know things are not going to plan but this is not a place for the CEO and President.

David Koch: Its OK Ken, we are not here to make decisions, we just want to get a handle on the process of team selection.

Keith Thomas: David is right, just relax and do what you normally do, there is no pressure here.

David Koch: Yeah there is as much pressure as what our team puts on the opposition so you should feel totally at ease.

Ken Hinkley: OK boys, let’s get on with it then. What changes if any need to be made?

David Koch: Um… is Travis injured?

Ken Hinkley: You know I am really getting sick of this question. I have been telling everyone for weeks now that Trav is not injured.

Keith Thomas: Is he sick?

Ken Hinkley: NO!!!!!

David Koch: Is he heartbroken?

Ken Hinkley: NO! NO! NO!

Keith Thomas: Then what’s wrong with him then?

Ken Hinkley: He is just out of form.

David Koch: So why don’t you drop him?

Travis Boak: Hey guys, I’m in the room and I am not really feeling the love here.

David Koch: Well you need to lift your game Travis.

Travis Boak: You’re really hurting my feelings David.

Keith Thomas: Well what are you going to do about it Travis?

Travis Boak: Well we just gotta bring the heat.

Keith Thomas: What for, the Heat Maps? You say this every week Trav, what else are you going to do?

Travis Boak: I don’t know, ask Ken

Ken Hinkley: I thought you guys were just here to get a handle on the process.

Keith Thomas: Yeah sorry Ken, carry on.

Ken Hinkley: OK, what changes if any do we want to consider making?

Nathan Bassett: I think we need to bring Toumpas back in, he definitely adds more defensive attributes to our game.

Ken Hinkley: Who comes out for him?

Nathan Bassett: Probably Amon

Karl Amon: Ken?

Ken Hinkley: Its OK Karlos, you will be playing.

Jim Toumpas: So who will I be replacing?

Cam O’Shea: Better not be me.

Brad Ebert: Well you did have quiet game Krak.

Cam O’Shea: I said that Ebo, put your glasses on!!!!!

Brad Ebert: Bit twitchy there Cam, bit like your backwards handballs.

Cam O’Shea: Polly called for it!!!

Jared Polec: No I didn’t

Cam O’Shea: Prick!!

Justin Westhoff: Could handballed to me Cam, I was in the open.

Cam O’Shea: You didn’t call for it.

Justin Westhoff: Yes I did.

Brad Ebert: Need some glasses Cam, hearing aid maybe?

John Butcher: Can I pl…..

Ken Hinkley: No John.

Michael Voss: I think we should consider Dougal or else Nic Nat will end up with 150 Hit Outs.

Ken Hinkley: Hit outs don’t win games Vossy. If we can get 100 plus tackles we will be well on our way.

Garry Hocking: Your both wrong, it’s all about clearances, clearances win games of footy.

Nathan Bassett: Disagree, winning the contested ball is the most vital aspect.

Matthew Nicks: No, no, no, it’s all about getting the structure right.

Keith Thomas: How about we just out score the opposition?

*deathly silence and looks of confusion*

Keith Thomas: OK then, I will just leave that nugget with you. Let’s go Kochy.

*sound of door closing*

hilarious

 

[Full Credit]

Poor John

 

[tribey]

we really need a thread for all of these to go into. They're always a good laugh.

Remember when Rooch ripped them off without given credit? And old media wonders why all roads lead to redundancy.

 

[Port01]

the descent into 2011 continues.
On the bright side, I will be 5 years younger and have no children anymore.

 

[ROBBBO]

brilliant

 

[SteppingTiger]

Love the way every player is in on selection committee.

Great work

 

[philreich]

Sensational!!!

 

[Powerstufff]

I really enjoyed that. Lots of little things in it, fitted together beautifully. No laboured explanations either, if you're a Port tragic every part of it made bittersweet sense.

 

[PJ Power]

Loved the "heat" line from Boaky. Had you added "we just gotta bring the heat.....for the first ten minutes", you would have really nailed him.

 

[Lou Zyffer]

Wow. It's like... I thought of this, and boom, there it is.

I'd really, really like to win Powerball next week.

Top work ETW!

 

[Schulzenfest]

John Butcher: Can I pl…..

Ken Hinkley: No John.

Pictured: John Butcher

 

[Us against the rest]

Very well thought out, loved it, my favourite bit was (no John) that did for me.