Media Tarkymetrics - Season 29 Player of the Year

[Tarkyn_24]

Hello all,

It's been a long time coming, but for the first time in over four seasons I'll be kicking off with Tarkymetrics sim analysis of the season just gone.

Season on season, we endevaour to slice the data that QOOTY provides us in different ways. We know that the simulator loves the midfielders, giving Mobbs Medal votes to those in and under, laying tackles and dishing out possessions. What we don't see often is reward for those around the ground that are often just as instrumental to their team's chances of winning. I've tried to eradicate some of the leanings of the sim, and have attemped to give every player a bit more of an even footing when it comes to determining who the best player was for the season just gone.

Round by Round
TBA

 

[Ned_Flanders]

Isn't this ******* s**t dead yet?!?!?

 

[JackBero]

is NaturalDumbarse the sh*ttest mod?

 

[serial_thrilla]

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Round 1



East Side Hawks v Coney Island Warriors
We welcomed the 29th SFA campaign with the East Side Hawks hosting the Coney Island Warriors. The Warriors were looking to avenge the 28 and 52 point drubbing received the previous season at the hands of the Hawks, while the Hawks themselves were keen to get off to a good start to erase the memory of their own preliminary final thumping at the hands of the Dragons. In an arm wrestle with twelve lead changes, it took a final quarter surge on the part of the Warriors to finish their rather gallant opponents, ultimately recoding an eighteen point victory to kick off Season 29 in style.
Top DreamTeam: pantsredacted (126), Biggie (103), harry000 (102)

Dragons FFC v West Coast Wonders
The Dragons received a Round 1 home blockbuster in which to unfurl their previous season's premiership in front of their club's adoring fans. The Wonders, on the other hand, proved to be a middle of the road team in Season 28 and were looking to capitalise on the improvement of key players to launch their own assault at a flag. The Wonders jumped out of the blocks early, kicking four consecutive goals early in the opening stanza to extend out to an early 18 point lead before the Dragons steadied. Unfortunately for the Wonders, a workmanlike Dragons outfit were not to be denied. and once they stole back the lead at the eighteen minute mark of the second quarter they never looked back.
Top DreamTeam: Dr Mantis Taboggan (108), Mooresome (108), Knifey Spoony (108)

Sin City Swamprats v Baghdad Bombers
In what shaped as an absolute fizzler of a fixture, last season's minor premiers drew the previous season's wooden spooners to kick off their Season 29 campaign. In what was widely tipped to be a crushing Swamprat win, the Bombers showed a bit of early spirit - kicking the first goal and looking likely. By quarter time, however, the Swamprats had regained control and were never seriously headed thereafter. edgie was a surprise livewire with five goals while LukeParkerno1 chimed in with four for the Swamprats, whilst Requiem kicked four for the losing outfit.
Top DreamTeam: philreich (115), GotTheGoodes (103), LukeParkerno1 (93)

Gumbies FFC v Roys FFC
The only clash between two non-finalists of the previous season, both the Gumbies and Roys were seeking better fortune in this Round 1 clash. The Roys jumped out of the gates with five goalscorers on the board by the twelve minute mark, before the Gumbies demonstrated some grit and started wresting their way back into the contest. By three quarter time the Gumbies had edged their noses in front, mostly due to the brilliance of okeydoke7 with three goals for the quarter, and good judges felt that they stringy men might be surprise challengers this season. In a tense final quarter, Beandip held his nerve, putting two through the big sticks while okeydoke7 and Jivlain frittered important late chances for the Gumbies. The siren mercifully rang out minutes later, with the Roys opening their account with a tense one point win.
Top DreamTeam: Barrybran (108), I Dont Care (107), Jivlain (103)

Gold City Royals v Las Vegas Bears
In an intriguing match-up, the vanquished elimination finalists of Season 28 met with a point to prove. However, only one side came to play - with the Bears assuming the lead in the second minute of the game and controlling the outcome from there on. Returning favourite tgrs kicked five majors for the victors whilst the entertaining Cesoir was the Royals best with 28 disposals.
Top DreamTeam: Cap (102), Cesoir (100), spookism (93)

Fighting Furies v Mount Buller Demons
Fighting by name but not by nature, the Furies rolled over in a dismal first quarter display, scoring only a solitary behind (courtesy of the Demons). Mount Buller on the other hand had winners all over the ground, cruising to a fifty point lead late before a couple of junk time goals from The Half Back brought the game back to a respectable margin. Tarkyn_24 and sante combined for eleven goals for the Demons whilst TJASTA was a bright spot on a dark day for the Furies with four of his own.
Top DreamTeam: Tigerturbulance (81), Tarkyn_24 (77), Harvey Manfrenjensenden (75)



​

 

[Headless]

Tarks, I think you're super swell.

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Round 2

Baghdad Bombers v Fighting Furies​

Both having come off unimpressive 38 point losses the previous week, the Bombers and the Furies met in the opening match of Round 2. With the prospect of a season becoming almost unrecoverable with another poor showing, both sides were keen to impress and get the win. It was the previous season's wooden spooners in the Bombers that looked the far better side on the day, failing to trail at all on the scoreboard whilst Furies fans were left wondering if there was going to be any salvaging what looked like an awful campaign. The Bombers were sensationally served by Santoz (6 goals) while CALL ME SNAKE and cammo6556 both kicked three and had nearly twenty disposals each.
Top DreamTeam: cadsky (100), Requiem (99), Riviat (99)

Las Vegas Bears v Dragons FFC
The Dragons super-impressive form continued into Round 2, as they comfortably dispatched of previous season finalists Las Vegas. For the second week in a row, Dragons forward Mooresome did as he pleased through the midfield, collecting 31 disposals whilst Hatchy1992 arguably had the greatest impact, pocketing four goals in a dream first quarter in which he himself nearly went toe to toe with the Bears for scores. tgrs was once again a shining light for the Bears on a dull day, kicking five majors and tightening his claims to early Fred favouritsm.
Top DreamTeam: Mooresome (109), Cap (106), Knifey Spoony (103)

Sin City Swamprats v Gold City Royals
The Swamprats and Royals continued their winning and losing sequences respectively in what was ultimately a dead rubber after quarter time. The Royals would be incredibly disappointed with their inability to score, managing only 23 points in a shocking first half display. I won't meander on with this particular review lest my writing match the tedium of the match itself.
Top DreamTeam: sportsmaniac89 (94), Leviathan Pie (92), Power Raid (89)

Mount Buller Demons v Coney Island Warriors
In a clash of two unbeaten sides, it was the Warriors that set themselves up for Season 29 success in a match that was all about taking advantage of the momentum. Recent recruit boncer34 looked to be a spark in his new colours, kicking three first half goals while the game was still alive but ultimately Coney Island were far too good, burying an insipid Demons effort in the final quarter with the final ten scoring shots of the game. BEEG was the firestarter in that final stanza burst, with three last quarter goals tearing the heart from a hapless Demon outfit, while pantsredacted did his Mobbs hopes no harm with 34 disposals and 2 goals.
Top DreamTeam: Frankston Rover (112), pantsredacted (110), comewhatmay (110)

West Coast Wonders v Gumbies FFC
The Wonders and Gumbies, both winless in Round 1, met in a Round 2 clash that was bound to be season defining. Unfortunately for the Gumbies, it was defining for all the wrong reasons - an abysmal premiership quarter quashing any chance that they had of snaring an important four points. The Wonders were brilliantly served by Elton Johns Wig through the midfield, with 28 disposals and 10 marks while Ant Bear was understated with 2 goals and 7 tackles from 17 touches. Barrybran was the Gumbies lone hand both on and off the field, with 26 touches, 9 tackles and 2 goals.
Top DreamTeam: Barrybran (121), Elton Johns Wig (101), Bonz (93)

Roys FFC v East Side Hawks
The East Side Hawks were inspired in Round 2, belting a hapless Roys outfit from the very first minute of the game as they recorded an astonishing eighteen scoring shots in the first quarter. A fifty point quarter time lead was extended out to sixty-nine by the seven minute mark of the second before the Roys finally started playing with something that resembled self-respect, digging their heels in to reduce the margin back to 44 points at the long break. Unfortunately, as soon as the Hawks got the wind at their back again they kicked off, getting out by a game high 80 points late in the third. NaturalDisaster was strikingly good, with 16 scoring shots and 9 goals in as dominant a performance by a full forward as you'll ever see.
Top DreamTeam: NaturalDisaster (119), TedDougChris (115), jusjoshin (108)

​

 

[serial_thrilla]

Great work Tarks, but I fear that my votes seem to have been lost in the mail!

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Great work Tarks, but I fear that my votes seem to have been lost in the mail!

I’m sure I sent them in your PM about the All SFA side? Maybe check again

 

[Marlowe]

Hopefully this paints me in a positive in a light.

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Hopefully this paints me in a positive in a light.

Can’t fault a share of 12th after two rounds

 

[CALL ME SNAKE]

Round 2



Baghdad Bombers v Fighting Furies


Both having come off unimpressive 38 point losses the previous week, the Bombers and the Furies met in the opening match of Round 2. With the prospect of a season becoming almost unrecoverable with another poor showing, both sides were keen to impress and get the win. It was the previous season's wooden spooners in the Bombers that looked the far better side on the day, failing to trail at all on the scoreboard whilst Furies fans were left wondering if there was going to be any salvaging what looked like an awful campaign. The Bombers were sensationally served by Santoz (6 goals) while CALL ME SNAKE and cammo6556 both kicked three and had nearly twenty disposals each.
Top DreamTeam: cadsky (100), Requiem (99), Riviat (99)

Las Vegas Bears v Dragons FFC
The Dragons super-impressive form continued into Round 2, as they comfortably dispatched of previous season finalists Las Vegas. For the second week in a row, Dragons forward Mooresome did as he pleased through the midfield, collecting 31 disposals whilst Hatchy1992 arguably had the greatest impact, pocketing four goals in a dream first quarter in which he himself nearly went toe to toe with the Bears for scores. tgrs was once again a shining light for the Bears on a dull day, kicking five majors and tightening his claims to early Fred favouritsm.
Top DreamTeam: Mooresome (109), Cap (106), Knifey Spoony (103)

Sin City Swamprats v Gold City Royals
The Swamprats and Royals continued their winning and losing sequences respectively in what was ultimately a dead rubber after quarter time. The Royals would be incredibly disappointed with their inability to score, managing only 23 points in a shocking first half display. I won't meander on with this particular review lest my writing match the tedium of the match itself.
Top DreamTeam: sportsmaniac89 (94), Leviathan Pie (92), Power Raid (89)

Mount Buller Demons v Coney Island Warriors
In a clash of two unbeaten sides, it was the Warriors that set themselves up for Season 29 success in a match that was all about taking advantage of the momentum. Recent recruit boncer34 looked to be a spark in his new colours, kicking three first half goals while the game was still alive but ultimately Coney Island were far too good, burying an insipid Demons effort in the final quarter with the final ten scoring shots of the game. BEEG was the firestarter in that final stanza burst, with three last quarter goals tearing the heart from a hapless Demon outfit, while pantsredacted did his Mobbs hopes no harm with 34 disposals and 2 goals.
Top DreamTeam: Frankston Rover (112), pantsredacted (110), comewhatmay (110)

West Coast Wonders v Gumbies FFC
The Wonders and Gumbies, both winless in Round 1, met in a Round 2 clash that was bound to be season defining. Unfortunately for the Gumbies, it was defining for all the wrong reasons - an abysmal premiership quarter quashing any chance that they had of snaring an important four points. The Wonders were brilliantly served by Elton Johns Wig through the midfield, with 28 disposals and 10 marks while Ant Bear was understated with 2 goals and 7 tackles from 17 touches. Barrybran was the Gumbies lone hand both on and off the field, with 26 touches, 9 tackles and 2 goals.
Top DreamTeam: Barrybran (121), Elton Johns Wig (101), Bonz (93)

Roys FFC v East Side Hawks
The East Side Hawks were inspired in Round 2, belting a hapless Roys outfit from the very first minute of the game as they recorded an astonishing eighteen scoring shots in the first quarter. A fifty point quarter time lead was extended out to sixty-nine by the seven minute mark of the second before the Roys finally started playing with something that resembled self-respect, digging their heels in to reduce the margin back to 44 points at the long break. Unfortunately, as soon as the Hawks got the wind at their back again they kicked off, getting out by a game high 80 points late in the third. NaturalDisaster was strikingly good, with 16 scoring shots and 9 goals in as dominant a performance by a full forward as you'll ever see.
Top DreamTeam: NaturalDisaster (119), TedDougChris (115), jusjoshin (108)

View attachment 881368​

Nice write up.
I'd like to hear more about that CALL ME SNAKE fellow.
He sounds lovely.

 

[Kapow!!!]

This is the worst time of the year to be a man the sim hates on this board: You can't really get involved in these s**t threads other than saying "Rigged lol" or...

Great work Tarks, but I fear that my votes seem to have been lost in the mail!

....it's really disheartening!

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Stop it Tarks! Just No.

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Round 3a

Coney Island Warriors v West Coast Wonders​

The Warriors and Wonders were to meet in a Round 3 fixture that was well placed to have big impacts on both side's premiership credentials. The Warriors had looked awesome in their previous week's demolition job of the Demons and were keen to reprise the treatment against a second Foundation Cup opponent, while the Wonders themselves were full of confidence after pasting the Gumbies by 37 points the previous week. The game lived up to the hype early - six lead changes in the first quarter before BEEG and Papa Juggs stamped their authority on the game in the second, as the Warriors turned the corner 24 points ahead at half time. The Wonders were not to be headed though, and Sab22 kicked three third quarter goals to haul the Wonders back within eight points at the final break. It looked as though West Coast were heading for a victory for the ages when they broke through to take the lead in the sixteenth minute of the final quarter, but the Warriors rallied strongly and scored in the dying minutes to drag themselves over the line in an excellent game.
Top Dreamteam: Elton Johns Wig (138), Cadaver (128), Bloodied52 (120)

Gold City Royals v Baghdad Bombers
Gold City were desperate to open their account for season 29, while the Bombers were looking to build on good work from the previous week. It was Baghdad who got off to what would eventually be the game defining flyer, but they couldn't capitalise - pepperig the goals in an eleven scoring shot to one opening term. On the canvas, The Filth Wizard entered with a 7 minute cameo that produced 3.1, and trimmed the result to 2 points midway through the second before the Bombers reaffirmed control. Not to be denied, the Royals sensed victory and edged their noses in front for the first time on the three quarter time siren thanks to a Kapow!!! major. A Marlowe goal in the first ten seconds from resumption pushed the lead out to eight for the Royals, but the Bombers came with a flurry and with fifteen to play both sides were locked/ In a grinding final quarter, the Bombers found themselves up by a goal with 9 minutes to play, and with neither side being able to wrestle the ball into their forwardline it was enough.
Top Dreamteam: Cesoir (128), Kapow!!! (106), Antonio BlueVein (93)

Fighting Furies v Roys FFC
Having lost their first two games, the Furies were keen to resuscitate their season, and a bottom four clash with the Roys presented a perfect opportunity. In what was a tightly contested game, the margin not exceeding seven points at any of the first three breaks, the Furies looked at all times to be slightly better than their opponents - mostly by virute of Tigerturbulance helping himself to 28 disposals and 4 goals in the ruck. When the Furies took the ascendancy with five minutes to play in the third quarter (the 13th match lead change), they never looked back and ran out comfortable 17 point winners.
Top Dreamteam: Tigerturbulance (115), Runk (95), JackNah_8 (84)


​

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Plse Tarks. As opposed to Noobz0r pantsredacted Tony Lynn 15 you do not have to whore yourself out in a back breaking media thread to obtain beez relevance.

Everyone who looks at any Dees match thread knows you are a regular and entertaining if oft misplaced contributor.

Most beez voters value match thread contributions far more than media thread whoring. I have no doubt that you will figure in the votes of many. You engage. Posters like Kennedy Parker do not. I'd be shocked if you do not finish well ahead of the others I mentioned in this post.

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Plse Tarks. As opposed to Noobz0r pantsredacted Tony Lynn 15 you do not have to whore yourself out in a back breaking media thread to obtain beez relevance.

Everyone who looks at any Dees match thread knows you are a regular and entertaining if oft misplaced contributor.

Most beez voters value match thread contributions far more than media thread whoring. I have no doubt that you will figure in the votes of many. You engage. Posters like Kennedy Parker do not. I'd be shocked if you do not finish well ahead of the others I mentioned in this post.

Congratulations on your three Tarkymetrics votes in Round 3!

This competition is great for a number of reasons, and Kennedy Parker was very illuminating with his survey of personality types last week. The reality is, I’m not the creative, story-building type that tends to perform well in the beez nor have I ever wanted or purported myself to be. What I do enjoy doing is looking at the sim outputs, taking a cloth, cleansing the data and doing my own analysis of it. This is an undertaking that has had previous iterations and in the past was designed to identify completely different things to what this season’s thread does. It’s very much a project of passion for the competition rather than a cheap grab at some Beez votes.

I do appreciate the concern and sentiments though

 

[Noobz0r]

Plse Tarks. As opposed to Noobz0r pantsredacted Tony Lynn 15 you do not have to whore yourself out in a back breaking media thread to obtain beez relevance.

Everyone who looks at any Dees match thread knows you are a regular and entertaining if oft misplaced contributor.

Most beez voters value match thread contributions far more than media thread whoring. I have no doubt that you will figure in the votes of many. You engage. Posters like Kennedy Parker do not. I'd be shocked if you do not finish well ahead of the others I mentioned in this post.

Obsessed.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Obsessed.

You are short of everything, even the quiet dignity of posters like Tarkyn_24

 

[Noobz0r]

You are short of everything, even the quiet dignity of posters like Tarkyn_24

Still going.

For what's it's worth tarks loves me, and I didn't even need to suck hole like you are trying so hard to do.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Sucking hole eh - sounds like job and SFA description.

 

[Tony Lynn 15]

Plse Tarks. As opposed to Noobz0r pantsredacted Tony Lynn 15 you do not have to whore yourself out in a back breaking media thread to obtain beez relevance.

Everyone who looks at any Dees match thread knows you are a regular and entertaining if oft misplaced contributor.

Most beez voters value match thread contributions far more than media thread whoring. I have no doubt that you will figure in the votes of many. You engage. Posters like Kennedy Parker do not. I'd be shocked if you do not finish well ahead of the others I mentioned in this post.

Wow Tarkyn_24 if ever you needed a final nail in your SFA coffin I believe this is it. A glowing endorsement from B52.

Farewell sweet Prince!

 

[pantskyle]

Plse Tarks. As opposed to Noobz0r pantsredacted Tony Lynn 15 you do not have to whore yourself out in a back breaking media thread to obtain beez relevance.

Everyone who looks at any Dees match thread knows you are a regular and entertaining if oft misplaced contributor.

Most beez voters value match thread contributions far more than media thread whoring. I have no doubt that you will figure in the votes of many. You engage. Posters like Kennedy Parker do not. I'd be shocked if you do not finish well ahead of the others I mentioned in this post.

I haven't done a thread you senile old coot.

However in the shadows I have been lurking, you see the leagues most prestigious award, The Golden Pants is upon us, a new formula, a new format, we will crown our S29 winner just in time for beez votes.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

I haven't done a thread you senile old coot.

However in the shadows I have been lurking, you see the leagues most prestigious award, The Golden Pants is upon us, a new formula, a new format, we will crown our S29 winner just in time for beez votes.

be still my beating heart

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Wow Tarkyn_24 if ever you needed a final nail in your SFA coffin I believe this is it. A glowing endorsement from B52.

Farewell sweet Prince!

I’d say I’m turning along just fine, but thanks for your concern!