Roast Yelling at Clouds

[Next Waiting]

Did you change your meds like I suggested?

You didn't, I can tell.

Actually I'd like to thank the good people at Pharmacare and the good people at Asahi Breweries International for the delicious cocktail I've discovered recently.

 

[maddog37]

When I say crafted it's more that I allow my long blonde curls to cascade gently over my shoulders like some dreamy waterfall.

It's the only thing Bailey Smith and I have in common...me being a much better kick.

 

[Next Waiting]

Thanks so much. Thanks, thanks very much, thank you. What's this so crap.

 

[Bulldog rick]

A Yelling at Clouds Hall of Fame dinner seems inevitable to me. At threadbare and stained red carpet affair.

To be held in a drafty town hall with limited car parking and no disabled car parks or access. The venue will be inaccessible by public transport and the night will be scheduled to clash with a Bulldogs must win block busting final. The venue will not have a television and will be in an internet black spot.

You'll be seated 12 to a table that only has the capacity to seat 8 and as close to the toilets as possible. A choice of under-cooked chicken with an alphalpha salad or over cooked steak with under cooked potatoes awaits you, both accompanied by a 2 day old bread roll, served on mismatched crockery by incompetent and inexperienced wait staff. There will be no vegan or vegetarian options.

Poor lighting and trip hazards will be arranged for the infirm, the first aid kit will be difficult to find and not have any band aids and the defibrilator will be at the shop for repairs after being tampered with by delinquent youths..

The bar will run dry between mains and dessert and the microphone used for acceptance speeches will deliver constant feedback...when it works. The coffee will be instant.

And for the ladies, I haven't forgotten you. In your 4 stall bathroom, 3 of the stalls will be out of order, there will be no mirror and we'll run out of toilet paper within the first hour. In the vein of "don't get beaten by what you know", the incontinent should also come prepared.

The same delinquent teenagers who wrecked the defibrilator will be engaged to interfere with your vehicles and syphon your fuel while you suffer through proceedings inside and a booze bus and vehicle inspection point will be provided upon your exit for your inconvenience. A local hobby farmer, possibly geoffjennings79, will also be engaged to leave a gate open to allow his neglected livestock to wander haphazardly on the road or to emerge suddenly and without warning from the overgrown, bushfire risk, roadside verge that borders his property and/or through the fences that have been allowed fall into a sate of disrepair.

It's yet to be decided whether the event will be held on an extreme fire risk day and whether the delinquent teenagers will also set fire to geoffjennings79's noxious weed and snake infested, asbestos dumping ground of a verge using the fuel they've syphoned from your vehicles.

I look forward to seeing you all there.

Excited about this 1 star extravaganza your planning Next Waiting. Sounds like more fun than a lead balloon.
Like to suggest some music to accompany the festivities.
Opening song could be ' Everything is Beautiful ' just before the participants enter the carefully selected venue and the cold reality slaps them in their face. Good for tuning up the vocal chords for a good whinging.
A couple of Slim Dusty classics to be included in the repertoire. The first would be
' I love a beer with Duncan because Duncan's me mate' but abruptly cut short and replaced with ' The pub with no beer' as the patients become more vocal and the real stars begin to shine.
During meal time, I suggest Weird Al Yankovic baritone song ' Eat it ' just eat it.
Play this on repeat until all lab rats have cleaned their dishes.
For any straglers, I would expect you to get the microphone and belt out :
' You better listen better do what your told
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole just eat it,eat it, open up your mouth and feed it.'
I hope these suggestions help make the occasion more special than it deserves. Unfortunately I won't be there as I have a prior engagement at the MCG.

 

[Next Waiting]

Excited about this 1 star extravaganza your planning Next Waiting. Sounds like more fun than a lead balloon.
Like to suggest some music to accompany the festivities.
Opening song could be ' Everything is Beautiful ' just before the participants enter the carefully selected venue and the cold reality slaps them in their face. Good for tuning up the vocal chords for a good whinging.
A couple of Slim Dusty classics to be included in the repertoire. The first would be
' I love a beer with Duncan because Duncan's me mate' but abruptly cut short and replaced with ' The pub with no beer' as the patients become more vocal and the real stars begin to shine.
During meal time, I suggest Weird Al Yankovic baritone song ' Eat it ' just eat it.
Place this on repeat until all lab rats have cleaned their dishes.
For any straglers, I would expect you to get the microphone and belt out :
' You better listen better do what your told
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole just eat it,eat it, open up your mouth and feed it.'
I hope these suggestions help make the occasion more special than it deserves. Unfortunately I won't be there as I have a prior engagement at the MCG.

Thanks for the suggestions, however, as Dwayne Russell and Kelli Underwood will be jointly MCing the event it'll be one of those two belting out the tunes (probably Kelli) while usher for the evening, BT, guides the stragglers to their tables.

 

[Bulldog rick]

Thanks for the suggestions, however, as Dwayne Russell and Kelli Underwood will be jointly MCing the event it'll be one of those two belting out the tunes (probably Kelli) while usher for the evening, BT, guides the stragglers to their tables.

Could Manuel from Fawlty Towers assist BT in the ushering duties? I am just getting these vibes that it would work.
Do you know if Kelli can belt out any rap music?
I think you need some music from the hood when your expert on analingus rocks up playing in the background. I was thinking a bit of Nicki Manij and khia with ' My Neck My Back (lick it).
Maybe Dwyane and Kelli could do a duo

All for the noble cause of yelling at clouds.

 

[Timewillcome]

Even if you are joking, I reckon everyone has probably walked out with something accidentally. I did it a couple of years back with a Roast Chicken (prior to me black banning the use of these checkouts) I’d hung it on that little hook on the back of the trolley, unpacked the whole trolley, scanned everything diligently and paid. I got out the car at the other end of the shopping centre and unloaded the trolley into the car and saw the chicken….god I felt bad…for about 5 minutes, then thought about all the times I can guarantee I’ve been rorted by the supermarket scanning extra items, not applying specials, leaving things out of my online order and me not noticing.

Gee that roast chook tasted good

The secret ingredient was crime.

 

[Timewillcome]

Have been trying to remember who Jeff White took a dive against in the ruck to cost us a finals spot. It was Wayde Skipper

This is it. Extremely soft decision that has been burned into my memory.

 

[Fossie 32]

This is it. Extremely soft decision that has been burned into my memory.

wtf Willie was the ruck and they say White was his opponent so wtf was the other gimp wrestling with Willie?

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Even if you are joking, I reckon everyone has probably walked out with something accidentally. I did it a couple of years back with a Roast Chicken (prior to me black banning the use of these checkouts) I’d hung it on that little hook on the back of the trolley, unpacked the whole trolley, scanned everything diligently and paid. I got out the car at the other end of the shopping centre and unloaded the trolley into the car and saw the chicken….god I felt bad…for about 5 minutes, then thought about all the times I can guarantee I’ve been rorted by the supermarket scanning extra items, not applying specials, leaving things out of my online order and me not noticing.

Gee that roast chook tasted good

I walked out with a $100 gift card which I was holding so it wouldn’t get damp on the conveyor belt. Of course I had to go back and pay for it to be authenticated

 

[grassman75]

I walked out with a $100 gift card which I was holding so it wouldn’t get damp on the conveyor belt. Of course I had to go back and pay for it to be authenticated

So you walked out with a plastic card effectively….not really stealing is it….

 

[Hoges64]

- Nuts in brownies. Why ruin a perfectly good treat?

- The driver at the front of the queue for the green arrow not moving their arse the nano second they get the green arrow. Move it!! We all want to get across the intersection.

- Lack of sleep. Interrupted sleep. Does anyone actually get good sleep these days? Work, family, parenting, finances, the weather, your health. It takes its toll on whether you get a good nights sleep.

- The fact that I’m aging. It was my birthday the other day. I have one more year in my 30’s. I look in the mirror and go, yep, middle age, I’m nearly there. Where did the time go? (ps I mean this point respectfully for all the posters who are older than me!)




I’ll think of more, that’s all for now.

Are you.....


...me?

 

[Fossie 32]

The guy behind us in Bay25 regularly shares a running commentary of the game featuring one of my faves, saying DE - fence like the media boffins, cracks about Neal getting Brownlow votes, yeah that's been done a million times but a couple of hours of it is always great and 'Bring on Buku!!' [well that was mildly funny]

 

[Iamspock]

Please place the item in the bagging area. I have you effing moron.
Call the assistant over because it can’t tell I put a Flake there.
They clear it, then I put a Milky Way there. Please place your item in the bagging area.
I HAVE YOU EFFING MORON.
Call the assistant over again

Please take your items
Please take your items
Please take your items.

I’m packing it as fast as I can, sorry it’s not quick enough to suit you

I’m gunna starting billing them for my time.

On principle, I always go through the proper checkout, unless there are super queues, as I figure the cost of employee wages are costed in to the item price. Why should I pay that price, and do their job for them.

I suppose I should get out more..

 

[Dogs 13]

On principle, I always go through the proper checkout, unless there are super queues, as I figure the cost of employee wages are costed in to the item price. Why should I pay that price, and do their job for them.

I suppose I should get out more..

The only staffed checkout has a lady with two stacked shopping trolleys who then remembers something and goes back to get it. I ain’t getting stuck behind that

 

[Fossie 32]

I had a scary experience in Collingwood a while ago [just visiting!!]. Went to the supermarket with Mrs Fossie and was pushing the trolley around and just before we went through the checkout went to grab some cereal. When I got back wife had started to go through with a couple of items she was holding but there was another woman behind her with just one chocolate bar and I ducked in front of her with the trolley full of stuff and said 'Sorry'

If looks could kill .....

 

[dogwatch]

On principle, I always go through the proper checkout, unless there are super queues, as I figure the cost of employee wages are costed in to the item price. Why should I pay that price, and do their job for them.

I suppose I should get out more..

I do the same. They are trying to reduce their employee count. Margins are greater on self-checkout even with a bit of extra pilfering. So they want you to use the self checkout. I'd rather the money went to an employee than a shareholder. Then they have the nerve to make you stand in a queue waiting to check your own goods out!



For a number of reasons (including this one) I try to avoid the two majors and go to IGA or Aldi instead.

 

[Next Waiting]

I do the same. They are trying to reduce their employee count. Margins are greater on self-checkout even with a bit of extra pilfering. So they want you to use the self checkout. I'd rather the money went to an employee than a shareholder. Then they have the nerve to make you stand in a queue waiting to check your own goods out!



For a number of reasons (including this one) I try to avoid the two majors and go to IGA or Aldi instead.

This seems like an opportune time to canvas check out technique...the self variety.

I start my supermarket experience on the basis that I want to spend as little time there as possible. I'm not a browser or a special checker. I go with a list and I shop alone.

I reverse park into a spot that is nearish to a trolley park but also close to the street exit... this is important... and I care not that have to walk an additional 25m...both ways.

I'm a speed shopper. Get in and get out. It's like black ops. I know my targets and where they are. I'm not fooled by their shelf manipulation. I know that they are going to try to make me buy something I don't want by placing it at eye level in the section I'm searching. Fools! Top shelf, far right....you think I won't see it!

Anyways, I've successfully negotiated their minefield of traps for younger players I've accumulated nothing that isn't on that list....in record time. When their behavioural analysts review the footage they're gonna go...heck that guy...he's good.

I'm at the checkout. The self serve one with conveyor belt. The person in front of me is very very slowly scanning each item and placing them ever so delicately in the hemp bags they've brought with them. The fresh produce was problematic. What variety of mandarin is this...there are 4 to choose from. Just farking pick one! Oh that one didn't scan...can't find the barcode...sure call the supervisor...I haven't got anything better to do with my time.Ffs...how hard can it be. Oh, and now you want to pay with gift card debit card combo but it's your first time? Ffs! The supervisor is called. She's 100 years old and doesn't understand gift cards or phones. Blood pressure rising...The receipt isn't printing. That's OK, I'll just wait even longer whilst they try to find a new roll...

Finally, it's my time to shine. The barricade is in place to prevent encroachment from the woman behind me. Watch and learn luv...
Scan boom straight into the trolley...scan scan scan...trolley trolley trolley....pay....card...gone. No bag packing...no effing around. The bags are waiting in the boot. Open boot, trolley to bags. Slam boot, shoot trolley free style into trolley park...in car...drive forward at high speed out of park to exit and gone. Won't be back for a week.

List ticked and no pos chockies.

That's how the professionals do it

 

[Dogs 13]

This seems like an opportune time to canvas check out technique...the self variety.

I start my supermarket experience on the basis that I want to spend as little time there as possible. I'm not a browser or a special checker. I go with a list and I shop alone.

I reverse park into a spot that is nearish to a trolley park but also close to the street exit... this is important... and I care not that have to walk an additional 25m...both ways.

I'm a speed shopper. Get in and get out. It's like black ops. I know my targets and where they are. I'm not fooled by their shelf manipulation. I know that they are going to try to make me buy something I don't want by placing it at eye level in the section I'm searching. Fools! Top shelf, far right....you think I won't see it!

Anyways, I've successfully negotiated their minefield of traps for younger players I've accumulated nothing that isn't on that list....in record time. When their behavioural analysts review the footage they're gonna go...heck that guy...he's good.

I'm at the checkout. The self serve one with conveyor belt. The person in front of me is very very slowly scanning each item and placing them ever so delicately in the hemp bags they've brought with them. The fresh produce was problematic. What variety of mandarin is this...there are 4 to choose from. Just farking pick one! Oh that one didn't scan...can't find the barcode...sure call the supervisor...I haven't got anything better to do with my time.Ffs...how hard can it be. Oh, and now you want to pay with gift card debit card combo but it's your first time? Ffs! The supervisor is called. She's 100 years old and doesn't understand gift cards or phones. Blood pressure rising...The receipt isn't printing. That's OK, I'll just wait even longer whilst they try to find a new roll...

Finally, it's my time to shine. The barricade is in place to prevent encroachment from the woman behind me. Watch and learn luv...
Scan boom straight into the trolley...scan scan scan...trolley trolley trolley....pay....card...gone. No bag packing...no effing around. The bags are waiting in the boot. Open boot, trolley to bags. Slam boot, shoot trolley free style into trolley park...in car...drive forward at high speed out of park to exit and gone. Won't be back for a week.

List ticked and no pos chockies.

That's how the professionals do it

You Sir are a supermarket ninja

Apparently it’s a dead giveaway as to your age if you say yes to a paper receipt.

I’m very limited as to what I can eat, not by choice trust me. I might go with a list of say 10 things and they don’t have 5 of them. It’s not like I can just take something else instead. So it’s off to another supermarket to go through the whole exercise again.

A useful tip if your time is your own is go to the supermarket or shopping malls around 2.30 on Weekdays, the mums have gone to pick up their little darlings leaving the best car parks and shops that look as busy as Zombieland or Dawn of the Dead. So just a few zombies to worry about.

 

[Next Waiting]

You Sir are a supermarket ninja

Apparently it’s a dead giveaway as to your age if you say yes to a paper receipt.

I’m very limited as to what I can eat, not by choice trust me. I might go with a list of say 10 things and they don’t have 5 of them. It’s not like I can just take something else instead. So it’s off to another supermarket to go through the whole exercise again.

A useful tip if your time is your own is go to the supermarket or shopping malls around 2.30 on Weekdays, the mums have gone to pick up their little darlings leaving the best car parks and shops that look as busy as Zombieland or Dawn of the Dead. So just a few zombies to worry about.

6am is my preferred time. Few people, the shelves are recently stocked. Less Ninja skills required. But they're always there when I need them....which is most often 10 to 12ish on a Sat/Sun morning after the Doggies have won the night before

 

[Chicago1]

I'm an online weekly shopper at Coles. Only $2 for delivery from 1pm-7pm. Any errors have always been rectified by Coles with no hassle. Having my main meal prepared daily in my retirement village helps with the amount I purchase. I sometimes have to include chocolates and pastries(tough, I know) to get to the minimum $50 for delivery.

My aged care helper takes me to Woolies or Coles once a month or so in my transport chair to find stuff not offered online and just to look around. We use the self-service. She puts things through and packs the stuff. I just pay.

On SM-A135F using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[Dogs 13]

6am is my preferred time. Few people, the shelves are recently stocked. Less Ninja skills required. But they're always there when I need them....which is most often 10 to 12ish on a Sat/Sun morning after the Doggies have won the night before

I did say if your time is your own and mine is so I’m not seeing 6am.
Unless it’s just coming home, of course

 

[Next Waiting]

I'm an online weekly shopper at Coles. Only $2 for delivery from 1pm-7pm. Any errors have always been rectified by Coles with no hassle. Having my main meal prepared daily in my retirement village helps with the amount I purchase. I sometimes have to include chocolates and pastries(tough, I know) to get to the minimum $50 for delivery.

My aged care helper takes me to Woolies or Coles once a month or so in my transport chair to find stuff not offered online and just to look around. We use the self-service. She puts things through and packs the stuff. I just pay.

On SM-A135F using BigFooty.com mobile app

Do they give a 6 hour window for delivery?

I'd struggle with that. 6 minutes I could live with.....

 

[Chicago1]

Do they give a 6 hour window for delivery?

I'd struggle with that. 6 minutes I could live with.....

Yes. I usually just watch TV or YouTube during the day so it doesn't matter what time they come. I live in a gated community so they have to be delivered before 8pm, otherwise it's a hassle to go down to the front gate and put in the code. I also shop online on Amazon. Latest they have arrived has been about 6pm. Online shopping has made life so much easier for me.

On SM-A135F using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[grassman75]

The guy behind us in Bay25 regularly shares a running commentary of the game featuring one of my faves, saying DE - fence like the media boffins, cracks about Neal getting Brownlow votes, yeah that's been done a million times but a couple of hours of it is always great and 'Bring on Buku!!' [well that was mildly funny]

There used to be a guy somewhere in Bay around Bay 35-38 ( I can’t remember what Bay i used to be in since i gave up my seat after Covid and moved interstate despite sitting in it for over 10 years…old aga is a bastard) with a thick Scottish accent….used to love hearing him yell out….